Moving Violation
by mizzmitzy
Summary: Danny Williams pursues what he believes to be a car thief only to find himself trapped in a dangerous situation. Nothing prepares him or Five-0 for the brutality of what follows and it's up to Steve McGarrett to help him find his way home. Warning:Assault
1. A Sunny Day Turns Dark

MOVING VIOLATION by MizzMitzy

WARNING ADULTS ONLY this is a dark story with various fairly descriptive rape scenes, bad language and racial overtones.

If you are not interested or old enough to read about sex or are sensitive to the subject of fictionalized sexual abuse then please do not read further. You have been warned. Go back now.

HAWAII FIVE-O

DISCLAIMER: The Five-0 characters are not my characters, they belong to CBS and I do not claim to own them no copyright infringement is therefore intended. No offense is intended either to any character named here, to any race, religion or sex and certainly not to anyone involved in the series, this is purely for fun and not gain. The author is not associated with owners, creators, producers or any media franchise related to Hawaii Five-0 or anything contained herein. All original characters and plot are the property of the author.

AUTHOR'S NOTE: I have read that male abuse is more prevalent than anyone wants to admit, mostly done by men for dominance over their victim. It is a historical fact. Most men do not report their abuse for fear or shame. I do not agree with rape or abuse in any form in real life. This story is merely to illustrate how things can get out of hand when people believe others are a threat to them and how it can be used to subdue a victim and have power over them, even if they are but a representation of a group. Even the strongest person can be brought down with this kind of assault – it's all about seeing our heroes through it to make a happy ending. If this was real life it would not be okay!

Additional note: This story was sparked off by seeing an episode where the smaller Dan Williams came face to face with two bigger, stronger men and his badge, attitude and the respect for the police could have been all that stopped them from attacking him. What if he was in a similar situation and no one respected his authority but used it against him?

CHAPTER 1 – A Sunny Day Turns Dark

'It's seven ten on a busy and bee-utiful Honolulu morning and here on Island Radio we have a neat beat for you - Sly and The Family Stone with `A Family Affair.'

Dan Williams shifted on the stool he was sitting on, having heard the morning's news he was disinterested in the music and switched mentally away from the lyrics, preferring instead to concentrate on finishing off his sandwich. A lukewarm coffee was on the serving counter in front of him as he sat enjoying the sunshine and the last of his breakfast. The café awning stretched out over the pavement and a small queue of people waited for their takeaway refreshments. He glanced up at the street as he wiped a paper napkin over his mouth and watched the cars going past on their way to work.

It was already hot and sticky and Danny was ready for another shower, even though he had barely got dry from the last one. He loosened the collar and tie on his shirt and prepared to make his way to the office. Getting off the stool he took a last gulp of his drink, picked his jacket off his lap and said goodbye to the street café owner.

The sound of screeching brakes focused his attention on the road and he heard a woman yell out as a car did an illegal u-turn, almost knocking her over on a crossing before speeding off up the road, the driver clearly unconcerned. The woman appeared unharmed although she sank to the ground in shock and several passers by were giving her comfort.

In a second Danny was into police mode. Registering the make of the car and the fact that the woman was okay he ran to his own vehicle and drove off, half-aware that a moving violation wasn't within Five 0's jurisdiction and should be handled by HPD but he was on the scene now and his reaction was automatic.

He was angry that the peaceful morning had been broken and was determined to track down the offender.

As Danny caught up to the other vehicle he was about to put the siren on to pull the guy over when something caught his attention and he hesitated. The car was a brand new 1971 Ford Mustang convertible and was consistent with the types of vehicles being boosted by a gang of car thieves. Seeing the way the driver handled the motor, Danny was instantly suspicious. Thinking the car to be stolen, he eased off his pursuit, deciding instead to follow a short distance behind as the suspect drove to wherever he was going.

He picked up the radio microphone and requested HPD run a check on the vehicle license and registration, asking if it had been reported stolen. The check came back a few minutes later as belonging to a Professor Alicia Morgan but no one had reported the car as missing.

Danny noticed the driver was male and, despite the HPD report, his cop senses were prickling.

"I'm following the vehicle along Vineyard Boulevard and believe it to be stolen, the driver is a young male, no description, acting suspiciously. I'll radio for back up if required. Williams out."

That was the last that anyone would hear of Danny Williams for a while.

Dan followed the car discreetly, the driver seemingly unaware he was being followed. The bright red Mustang gleamed in the sunshine and was easy to spot even from a distance. He concentrated on the road ahead, noting the direction the man took and the district. From neatly turned out houses the neighborhood gradually became more run down and less and less likely that an expensive car belonged there. Garbage-strewn streets and dilapidated housing became more commonplace and Dan felt sure his hunch was correct.

He drove on, drumming his fingers on the steering wheel - eager to find out where the man was taking him.

Some twenty-five minutes had passed since he started the pursuit and Dan was just about to call in when he saw the car slow down ahead of him.

The indicator light blinked and the Mustang squealed and bounced on the curb as it turned sharply onto a forecourt and was driven straight into a large shed.

Danny carried on past the place and stopped on the opposite side of the road twenty yards ahead. He killed the engine and, arm over the back of his seat, he turned to check out the scene.

There was plenty of movement inside, men in mechanic's uniforms buzzing around a couple of beaten up old cars in the shade. Signs outside announced lube changes, vehicle tests and an assortment of other cheap vehicle services. At first glance all appeared normal. He couldn't see the man, or the car, and wondered if he had been wrong. Perhaps the guy had been hired by the Professor simply to have work done on her car. It was conceivable that he was taking the woman's vehicle this side of town to save money; possibly in the hope he could skim the rest.

Nothing seemed out of the ordinary and yet the bulletin he had read kept nagging at him. He had to investigate further.

Deciding the best way was to appear to be a customer, he turned the car around and pulled onto the lot, his exhaust pipe hitting the curb as he did so, grating loudly. Dan got out of his car and strolled casually towards the large shed, noting everything around him.

As he walked into the shadowy entrance a tall Polynesian about Danny's age came forward to meet him wiping his hands on a rag.

"Morning," Danny said in greeting.

The man's eyes narrowed suspiciously and Dan noted a quick sideways glance at the Mustang now parked in the back of the garage.

"What do you want?" The man said gruffly.

"I noticed your sign outside and wondered if you could check the oil for me?"

Williams could tell the man wasn't sure about him and couldn't blame the guy. He was dressed in a tailored blue suit with shirt and looked altogether too clean cut and out of place for the neighborhood; just like the brand new car in the back. "I'm er…just passing through and noticed my oil's burning a little." He said lamely, hoping to allay suspicion.

"Okay." The mechanic said in a monotone voice and Danny let out a breath he didn't even know he was holding. He opened the bonnet and the guy poked his head underneath it, checking everything as he waited for the engine to cool. Satisfied that the guy was preoccupied, Danny strolled into the shed, hands in his pockets. He acted casually as he strolled up to the Ford. The driver was nowhere to be seen.

Walking around to the side window he took a quick look inside but nothing appeared out of place, except there were no keys in the ignition; a possible sign it had been boosted. Checking he wasn't being watched, Dan opened the glove compartment and quickly frisked it for a license.

He had just closed the door and pulled his arm out when he felt a presence behind him and turned to find a big Hawaiian standing far too close. Danny pushed himself back against the vehicle instinctively, trying to make space between their bodies and felt the wing mirror press into his ribs. He winced.

"What are you doing man?" The deep island voice boomed.

"Just admiring the Mustang, nice set of wheels!" Danny replied quickly and for some reason felt his mouth become dry.

"Yeah well they're not _your_ wheels so don't go snooping."

"Oh I wasn't, it's just a cool car and I thought I'd take a look."

Danny squeezed past the bulky body and started to walk backwards towards the light. The man followed him and he was keenly aware from the frown on the mechanic's face that he was becoming unwelcome. All he wanted to do was get away to call in what he had found.

The man grimaced at him and showed his teeth. He must have been over six foot tall with broadly muscled shoulders that bulged underneath blue coveralls which were open to his navel, showing off a chest covered in thick curly black hair matching those on his head. He looked dangerous.

"Hey look no harm done." Dan said, holding his palms open in supplication but as he took another step backwards he bumped into someone behind him and jumped. He turned to find it was the first guy who was supposedly dealing with his car.

"You got trouble Mano? The man said, looking past Dan to the other mechanic questioningly and blocking Danny's escape at the same time.

"Not sure - this guy was snooping around."

Dan looked between the two men and felt the reassuring bulk of his weapon tucked tightly against his waist. He wasn't sure quite how he had walked into this potential mess but he was aware he might have to announce himself as a cop.

"Look, I told you I just wanted an oil change. I can easily get that someplace else if it's a problem for you." He sounded more confident than he felt, particularly when he noticed from the corner of his eye yet another man standing watching them in the shadows.

Trying to appear nonchalant, he moved around the first guy and began walking back to his car, his breathing easing after the tension he had felt.

He almost made it when suddenly his arms were grabbed from behind and pinned painfully against his back. Danny's forehead was pushed onto the top of his car and his eyes drew level with the radio microphone. He inwardly cursed his stupidity, one of them was bound to spot the radio and then he would have to tell them he was Five-0.

"Hey Sammie, get out here NOW!" He heard the big guy – Mano - shout.

"Guys, I don't want trouble, I just want to get out of here and be on my way!" Danny said and winced as his arms were pulled harder. He turned his head slightly and saw a young man of about twenty with a mass of curly brown hair walk towards him.

"You seen this guy before bruddah?" Mano asked. The kid shook his head.

"Sure no one followed you here?" The other man asked in turn.

"No! I'm not stupid Ratchet. No one saw me!" Sammie replied angrily.

Danny thought the kid must have been driving the Mustang and probably thought he was home and dry so far away from where he'd stolen the car so didn't bother to check for a tail; that or he was too inexperienced - whatever his role.

"Search him anyway, something doesn't smell right." Mano growled and he found himself hauled back inside the shed.

"Stop! Just let me go and I'll leave in peace!" Danny argued, more agitated than ever.

Ratchet pushed him and he stumbled over his feet before being dragged roughly against the car, the taller man pinning him with one hand to the side of the vehicle.

He heard his radio chirp and a dispatcher's voice calling him and his heart sank. Things were fast getting out of hand.

"Oh man! He's a cop, that's a police radio!" The kid yelled out.

Williams decided to go for his gun and kicked `Ratchet' away from him before reaching inside his jacket.

Danny was fast, but it appeared someone else was faster and he felt excruciating pain in his right wrist as he saw a shape out of the corner of his eye before something hard connected with the bones. He dropped the gun and cried out as bones snapped. Grasping his injured limb, he ducked another swipe from an enormous wrench and through blurry eyes tried to rush between the men like a quarterback, dodging them in order to get to the light and the safety of his car outside.

He managed to get to the exit just as a door rolled across it, effectively cutting him off from the outside world.

Williams was panicking now, his exit blocked. He looked anxiously around the garage trying to locate another way out but it was in vain.

Five men stared at him in the subdued light and all barring the kid looked menacing. He didn't recognize the man behind him who had closed the roller door, or the man who had broken his wrist, but together with the others they were coming towards him, fanning out so he couldn't escape. They were not happy.

Danny's heart beat faster and he licked his lips to moisten them, hoping that he could locate a weapon somewhere to protect himself with. He ran towards a bench covered with tools and picked up a wrench, similar in size to the one that caused him so much pain. He hefted it, knowing that his left hand wasn't as dexterous as his right and pulled his damaged wrist closer into his chest protectively.

Looking between the men he swung the weapon in front of him, trying not to be backed into a corner but edging towards one nevertheless. He cursed again, recalling he had left his ankle-holstered back-up weapon at his apartment that morning. Too many errors for one day. He felt sick.

Unable to take his eyes off them Williams announced, "Back off! I'm a Police Officer!" but felt stupid when all but the kid, Sammie, began to laugh.

"We know piggy!" A stocky, pock-marked Samoan said quietly and came towards him, snorting in an imitation of a pig. He had been the one who had hit him and was gripping the giant wrench in his hands with the intention of doing more damage.

"Will he squeal I wonder?" asked the other occupant of the shed; a tall and wiry feminine-looking Hawaiian with thick black hair tied into a high bun and kept in place with twigs. He smiled and appraised Danny in a way that made him feel uncomfortable.

"Question is what are you doing here? Not a coincidence surely?" Mano asked reasonably, cutting through the atmosphere with his voice. He folded his beefy arms as he stood in the middle of his cohorts, ignoring the jibes from his fellow mechanics.

For some reason it seemed such a sensible request in the light of what Danny was starting to believe they were going to do to him that he felt compelled to answer.

"That young man there - Sammie - almost killed someone, I saw him and followed the car back here." He said simply, giving them half of the truth.

Ratchet grinned menacingly, "Now why should we believe you cop?"

"It's the truth, ask him yourself. He did a u-turn and scared a woman half to death!"

"He's lying!!" Sammie answered, stepping forward nervously. "He's just saying that! I was careful, I never saw anyone."

Mano slapped the young man across the face with bruising force, "You stupid hapa-haole – we told you not to take chances!"

Tears welled up in the kid's eyes and he looked down at the floor.

"You risked bringing down da cops on us for a stupid traffic violation!!" Ratchet screamed at the young man and grabbed him by the front of his tee-shirt, lifting him off the floor. Sammie looked terrified.

"ENOUGH!" Mano shouted, "Let him down bruddah. Too late now, we're just gonna have to deal with it."

As Ratchet dropped the kid, Sammie moved away and started to bite his nails nervously.

Danny never noticed the Samoan pick his gun up from the floor, he was so focused on Mano and the others. Beads of perspiration had broken out onto his forehead and his vision was blurry from the throbbing agony in his wrist.

"You don't have to deal with anything." He said trying to placate them, "No harm done, if you let me go now I'll leave here and no more will be said."

"A COP'S word? You must think we're fucking nuts man!" Ratchet replied and spat on the floor.

"You expect us to believe you? After all you were assaulted – _Officer_" Mano replied, looking at Danny's broken wrist.

Dan nodded. "Yes, yes I do. I give you my word that this goes no further." In truth he had no intention of keeping his word but couldn't let them know that.

"Well _now_ we don't HAVE to trust anything you say!" A deep voice announced gleefully beside his ear and he heard the click as the hammer on his gun cocked back and cold metal pressed against his temple.

"Drop it, pretty boy!"

Dan closed his eyes in feigned defeat and reluctantly bent to drop the weapon.

"Good work Lupe!" Mano said prematurely as Williams bent back up and, quick as a flash, clipped the Samoan under the chin with the edge of the tool. The man fell back from him but didn't go down, staggering a few paces instead, but it gave the detective enough room to manoeuvre. He went for the gun.

Instantly he felt a crush of bodies as three heavy men weighed into him and pushed him to the ground. Danny screamed out as his damaged arm connected with the concrete and he saw flashes of light before his eyes.

He struggled to push them off and kicked out as best he could but his strength was no match for three men and he felt hands gripping him and pulling him up off the floor, hair standing up by the roots as they wrenched his curls. The sleeve on his jacket was torn and he was clouted in the side of his head, making him dizzy.

Ratchet and the Hawaiian with the bun held his arms and he yelped when his wrist was touched, the bones grating against one another inside the swelling flesh.

Mano reached inside Danny's jacket and pulled out his ID. He stared at the Five-0 badge and back at Danny before showing the gold shield to his fellow mechanics. "We have a detective from the famous Five-0 police department here bruddahs. Not just an ordinary haole cop, a special one! So what's this about, cop Williams?"

Steve McGarrett's second-in-command determinedly stuck to his story, "I told you, the kid was driving dangerously, it was a moving violation, nothing more."

"Plain clothed pigs don't normally stop boys in cars, you're lying to me and I don't like haole's who lie!"

Dan said nothing, his mind was buzzing, trying to seek a logical way out of his situation. So far it was fruitless.

"So what are we going to do huh cousin? We're ruined!" the Hawaiian holding Williams asked Mano.

"Shut up Koa, I'm thinking."

"Oh I can think of something bruddah," Ratchet said mysteriously and pulled on Danny's arm, making him cry out. "Cops like him put me away, I ain't letting this one go without payback!"

"If you don't let me out of here you're in serious trouble whatever your game it will be ten times worse for you if you harm a police officer! Surely you know that!!?" Danny said desperately and tried to wriggle free of his captors.

"Who says anything about harm? I was thinking more of something rather more pleasurable!" Lupe said, recovered from the blow from the wrench. He came towards Danny, favoring his bruised cheek, blood leaking from his lips where he had bitten his tongue. He was furious and immediately punched Williams in the gut. "Well, maybe a little harm!" He added and chuckled as he watched Danny's face contort in pain.

Danny sagged from the blow, all the breath leaving his body. He felt as though he would vomit, the coffee in his stomach churning and acid burning up through his esophagus. Lupe grabbed his chin and lifted his head up before spitting in Danny's face, the bloody goo trickling down his cheek, "One way or another you are in trouble, you know that don't you?"

Of all the things he could know at that moment he realized that Lupe was telling the truth. Danny feared for his life then and badly wanted to collapse. Instead he summoned his strength, stared defiantly at the pitted face of the Samoan, and spat back at him.

"Why you…!!!" Lupe screamed and, wiping the muck off his face, went to get the gun.

"Hey Lupe, I have a better suggestion! How about that pleasure first eh? He's a pretty one that's for sure and no better way to show da haole pig not to mess with us!" Koa said and reaching his hand around Danny's body ripped open the detective's shirt, exposing his chest for Lupe and Mano to see, buttons flying everywhere.

"NO!!" Danny shouted and struggled even more, his legs kicking out in all directions as he saw the look on Lupe's face. The man's anger had turned into something else, something even more animalistic. The detective was terrified but was held tight.

The atmosphere in the building changed. Four pairs of eyes stared at the helpless man with hunger of a different kind. Danny's insides turned to water as the reality of what they were proposing sunk in. He was building up to a yell but when Lupe slid a finger down his naked breast he choked on bile, cutting the sound off.

"Sammie, go watch the front, put the closed sign up and shut the door behind you." Mano quickly instructed the young man as he licked his lips and stared at the struggling man before him. Lupe moved Dan's tie around to the back of his neck and pinched both of the detectives nipples fiercely. Danny grit his teeth but said nothing.

Koa was right, he was a pretty blue-eye but he was also the enemy and they had power over him which gave them certain rights in his book.

"Mano what are you going to do?" Sammie asked in all innocence.

"DON'T answer me back kid! Let us do this – go keep a look out. You got that?"

Sammie bit on one last ragged remnant of a nail and nodded, "Got it."

He moved away from the scene reluctantly, eager to know what would happen to the young sandy-haired cop but worried nevertheless. He didn't want the responsibility of standing guard but neither was he sure he wanted to see more blood or pain.

As he opened the shed doors he took a look back and saw Lupe standing close to the cop. He heard a gasp from the man as Lupe's hand reached down and grabbed the detective roughly through his pants.

Sammie hastily retreated. He wasn't stupid, now he knew what they would do and he felt sick just thinking about it.


	2. Welcome To Our Lair

CHAPTER 2 – Welcome to Our Lair

Steve McGarrett looked up from his papers as he heard the outer door to the office shut and called out "Danno, that you?"

A large head appeared at the door and Kono Kalakua walked in. "No boss, just me."

"Oh morning Kono. Danno in yet?" Steve said, disappointed not to see his second-in-command. He looked at the clock on his desk, it was 8.25am.

"No sign, Chin was right behind me though. We still on for that meeting?"

"Yeah, I thought Danno would be here by now, he was supposed to come in almost an hour ago to go over these files with me before we met up. We'll have to wait for him. As soon as he arrives tell him to come right in would you?"

"Sure thing Steve, not like Danny to be late!"

"No Kono, it's not." Steve said and a small niggling worry started creeping into his head.

Dan heard the clunk of the roller door closing and prayed someone would think it strange the garage had shut so early in the morning. All he needed was an obstreperous customer or a curious HPD officer to check. His car was out front; someone was bound to spot it.

If necessary he would yell his head off until someone heard him.

Lupe leaned into his body and gripped him painfully through his clothing as his sour breath wafted over Danny's face. "I'm gonna enjoy this cop." He whispered. Danny turned his head away from the smell and kneed the man in the groin as hard as he could. The Samoan doubled up, his hands immediately clasping his own genitals as the pain shot through them.

"Lupe, Lupe you ought to take care there man, this one's feisty. Don't you know you have to truss them first – make them pliable! Ain't no good trying to have him like this. He's too strong bruddah!" Koa said, grinning as his friend's discomfort.

His fingers dug into Danny's arm, bruising him and sending searing shock waves through his broken wrist.

A foot into the back of Danny's knees made him drop to the floor, arms straining in their grip. Mano instantly grabbed Danny's hair and pulled him up to look at him. "Whatever way you cut it cop you ain't getting out here without damage. You think you've found something here? Well you have and this nest of vipers isn't about to let some nosy good-for-nothing white man spoil our game. But just maybe we can go easier on you if you co-operate, you make it worth our while pretty boy and we might even spare your worthless life!"

Danny's heart was hammering in his ribcage and he couldn't think of anything that would stop what was likely to happen. "You don't want to do this. The police are on their way - McGarrett will find you; whatever you do to me, and then your lives will be over! You kill a cop and there will be no mercy. He _will_ come after you!" He said bitterly.

"No mercy?! No mercy for you then. If we're gonna do it we better do it right eh fullahs? We wouldn't want this McGarrett guy finding out who we are! But we can still have some fun eh!" Mano said and pushed his groin into Danny's face.

The men laughed as the injured detective found it hard to breathe and instinctively opened his mouth and bit through the material, grazing the man painfully. Mano yelled at him and clubbed him on the back of his neck.

Danny's vision blackened briefly and he went limp, surprising the men holding him who dropped him to the concrete.

"Get him up, he's dangerous." Lupe said straightening up, the throbbing where he was kneed easing. "We need to tie him up."

"Hey man, what about his handcuffs?" Koa said and bent to check the dazed detective for a pair. "Nada, must be in da car."

"Okay, get Sammie to take da cop's car round da back out of sight and see if he has some bracelets in there, otherwise we use rope. Haul his ass up again!"

As Koa went to find Sammie, Ratchet and Lupe grabbed Williams again and as they pulled him up he wobbled on his feet, only the strong arms keeping him standing. Gripping him tightly they frog marched him over to the Mustang and pushed him face down against the hot metal, the engine's heat searing his skin. His wrist was agonizingly painful but neither man took any notice of his gasps. Lupe laughed. "I need some tail, my wahine went with another fullah so I kicked her out!"

"So how do you like da car now eh cop? You were snooping around it well now you can get _real_ close and personal." Ratchet said and pushed Danny's cheek with a thud onto the waxed surface again, making his teeth jar.

A minute later Koa pushed the door back and came in dangling a pair of handcuffs from his finger. "Look what I found, shiny like new; we can truss him good now."

"Did you tell Sammie to move his car?" Mano asked, trying to keep a cool head on the situation rather than risk getting caught. It was all very well playing with the cop but his turning up there was a serious deal and sometime they were going to have to face the fact that they were done in that location. It irked him to consider the time and money they'd put into the place and the number of stolen vehicles they'd run through there without incident. One stupid mistake and the whole thing was blown.

He looked at the prone cop on the bonnet of the car and hated him even more. If it wasn't for Five-0 and people like him Mano's life would be a whole lot simpler.

"Yeah, he's moving it now. All quiet out there – not a soul!" Koa replied. "So what now?" he added, nodding his head in Williams' direction.

"Now we have that fun!" The big Hawaiian took the cuffs from Koa and approached Dan with them, "A warrior subdues his enemy, brings them to their knees. This haole cop is our enemy - so we make him see who is stronger! First we have pleasure - and then we kill him." Mano said with such a cold matter-of-fact tone that it made Danny shiver. "Get his hands above his head."

"Don't do this!" Dan said weakly, his body trembling. "Please for God's sake don't do this!!"

But they neither cared, nor listened. His arms were pulled awkwardly above his head and when the cuffs were linked around his broken wrist Danny screamed with the pain, tears leaking from his eyes. He didn't feel like a policeman, he felt like a vulnerable man; just an ordinary human being and he was very, very scared.

"Jeeze man, he's going to bring the whole damned neighborhood down on us. Tape his mouth up will ya?" Lupe asked, wincing at the noise. Koa went to find some tape.

"You've still gotta hold him Lupe, he's slippery this one."

"Don't tell me what to do Ratchet you just keep your hands on him."

"Hey supposing the cop did call this in when he followed Sammie?"

"You think we wouldn't have heard da sirens by now? Come on Ratchet – they'd be all over us like a rash bruddah."

As Koa brought a piece of tape to put across Danny's mouth the young detective moved his head from side to side, avoiding the plaster as he tried to reason with them one more time, "Look, if you do this you're in big pilikia don't you understand me? Stop now…please just stop now…I'll say things just got out of hand - you changed your mind - anything just let me go…I'll speak up for…mmfpph!"

"Mahalo Koa, all that noise was doin' my head in!" Lupe laughed as his captive's mouth was tightly bound. "Now let's see what we have here." As Ratchet held Danny against the bonnet of the Mustang Lupe leaned his thick chest against Danny's back and put his hands underneath the detective's stomach, opening the waistband on his pants and unzipping his fly.

"He feels good already bruddah! I reckon I should go first, seeing as da pig hit me." Lupe said and wriggled against Danny's backside. Dan closed his eyes, and whimpered with terror.

"You take him first Lupe but I'm next, I'm da boss here!" Mano said sharply and Ratchet chuckled.

Grabbing Dan by the waist he turned him round so he could face his captors. The tape on his mouth was puffing in and out as the young man's breathing became erratic. He stared wide-eyed at Lupe standing over him, close-cropped black hair framing the craters in his face. His white vest was slathered in a cocktail of grease and sweat, the overalls pulled down to his waist, sleeves dangling about his short, stocky body. He looked like a shaved gorilla; all muscle and no brain.

As Danny tried to get free again Mano helped Ratchet to keep him in place, his back bent over the hood of the car, legs kicking as Lupe's eyes darkened with lust and he pushed the elasticated overalls down over his hips, leaving his boxers showing.

"Now strip him" Lupe ordered and Koa happily complied. Every time Williams moved to kick the tall Hawaiian, Ratchet touched his swollen wrist and Danny whimpered beneath the tape. In too much pain to continue, he reluctantly stopped threshing and waited for what was to come.

With his chest exposed and pants pooled to his ankles, Danny Williams felt more vulnerable than he had in his life before. He prayed that Steve would come looking for him but felt that his time was up, that the assault was inevitable and death shortly thereafter. He tried to calm himself but it was impossible. He was being held by four men who hated his guts and were determined to make him pay for what they perceived to be his doing – he was an enemy and had walked into their pit unawares. The slightest provocation had set them off, like a time-bomb waiting for someone to light the fuse.

Danny closed his eyes, trying to block out everything but the beat of his own heart.

"Go on Koa, let's see if you can work your magic! I'll pay ten bucks to da first one who makes him react."

Dan moved back and forth across the bonnet of the car, trying to escape but Ratchet and Mano held him there whilst Koa bent to his work.

The young Hawaiian took the twigs out of his hair, releasing long strands of black around his face and as he bent down the cloak wrapped itself around them both, covering Danny's groin with fine silk.

Danny gasped and felt completely humiliated. He was horrified at the thought of what he was about to endure. It was going to get much worse if someone didn't stop them.

Koa went about his task with a professional eagerness as Lupe looked on in pleasure and Ratchet couldn't help but smile.

Mano watched his cousin work on their victim and although Koa appeared to be enjoying himself it was apparent that the cop wasn't. Danny's face was a mask of hatred and Mano couldn't help but sympathize a fraction with him, he knew that being taken against one's will was a degrading experience, still it didn't bother him to do this to a haole, the modicum of sympathy for the act itself turning to a loathing of all things the white man had done to his islands and his people. Officer Williams in his mind was just a symbol of that - to be used up and thrown away.

Koa suddenly complained as he found himself pushed away and fell on his butt, hair flying around his face when Lupe decided enough was enough and growled at the fey islander, "Me first remember bruddah? You're way down da pecking order."

Koa moaned painfully, waiting his turn. He knew his place and before he ever got a chance at the cop, his cousins and the dangerous Samoan would have their turn at the man. He looked back at the victim on the car, he liked the blue eyes and the fair, tanned skin; the cop was handsome and Koa liked handsome men.

Danny opened his eyes, grateful that he didn't have to concentrate any more, he was desperately trying to control his feelings and only hoped that he had managed; the pain in his wrist and head were making things fuzzy and he could no longer tell what his body was doing. He didn't want to think about what might be coming next. If only someone knew he was there, if he'd just called it in. If only Steve knew.

"Okay, enough playing, let's get to da point of all this shall we?" Lupe said and approached Danny once more. "Koa hold his arms and legs. We gonna make this boy ours." He ordered and Koa leaped happily onto the top of the car and pulled Dan's arms over his head by the cuffs. Danny's body spasmed with agony and he almost passed out.

_`Don't do this…please I'm begging you…dear God don't let them do this to me!!'_ Danny prayed but could say nothing as he found his legs lifted. He tried not to look but was transfixed as Lupe came towards him.

Recalling the swipe to his chin and the knee to his groin, Lupe was violent in his assault and Danny screamed and thrashed, his broken wrist forgotten as the pain burned into his blood. To Lupe it felt more than good; it felt like retribution and revenge.

Beneath him, Danny Williams was crying, tears leaked from his eyes and the pain burned into his soul. The agony in his body was unbearable. He looked up at the ceiling of the shed, past the grinning face of Koa, hair dangling over him as he watched with pleasure. Danny looked at the roof of the garage and up into the rafters – to the sunlight leaking in through rusty holes in the corrugated tin and saw a bird sitting high up on a beam, its tiny feathered body nestled against the wood. The shining eyes looked below to where Danny was being tortured and it cocked its head on one side, as if it understood the pain of the man staring up at it. Danny latched onto the bird like a lifeline, leaving his body for a fraction of a second and the pain eased but it was temporary and with the next agonizing thrust he was brought back to the world and his destiny.

When it was finally over, Lupe leaned over Danny's chest and Williams would never be allowed to forget the malice in that face "You are nothing now!!" Lupe yelled at him and laughter reverberated around the shed. The Samoan grabbed an oily rag from the top of an oil drum and wiped it over his sweat-sheened face. "Man that was good!" he commented and sat back on the drum, getting his breath back.

Koa literally dropped Dan's head back on the bonnet and he almost passed out, his insides were on fire and he felt violated beyond his control. He was sobbing and gagging and felt his sanity challenged but in that moment of desperation he looked up to the rafters again and the bird was still there. He felt ridiculously grateful for it as it peered at him from the shadows.

But Danny wasn't to be allowed the pleasure of a respite as the bulky figure of Mano swiftly took Lupe's place. Danny's eyes grew wide with shock and he shook his head violently – his only way to say `no don't do this' but Mano smiled like the shark of his namesake and stared down at his victim.

Ratchet wolf-whistled, teasing his brother.

"Now it is my turn to show him who is in control here! Gimme his badge."


	3. A Pound of Pain

AUTHOR'S NOTE: These next two chapters are tough reading but although not overly descriptive are important to detail how Danny's breaking down from the assaults in order to understand what happens in the rest of the story, anything less and you might not understand what he's going through. Bear with me it should be worth it! Feedback welcome.

CHAPTER 3 – A Pound of Pain

Steve McGarrett paced up and down the length of his office and stepped out onto the lanai searching the crowds to see if there was a familiar tousled head amongst them. Danny was more than overdue and Steve had no option but postpone his morning meeting.

He strode out to Jenny Sherman's desk and asked her for the third time if there was any news from Williams only to be told the same thing. Nothing.

"Have you tried his car?" He asked and Jenny nodded, aware that she'd already answered that question before.

"No answer Steve, Danny's not near his car. No reply at home either."

"Well try Dispatch, see if he called in this morning with anything – he might have had an emergency of some kind that we don't know about."

"Will do boss." She replied and picked up the phone to call.

Steve marched back into his office just as Jenny recalled him. "Steve, Dispatch says Danny did call this morning but they haven't heard from him since, shall I put them through?"

"Yeah Jenny." He pressed the incoming call light. "McGarrett here. What time did Dan Williams call you this morning?"

"The call was logged at twenty minutes past seven sir."

"What was it regarding?"

"Officer Williams asked for a R.O. check on a Mustang, wanted to know if it had been reported stolen. He was following the vehicle along Vineyard Boulevard -said the driver was a young male, acting suspiciously."

"Had it been stolen?"

"Not at that time but we have subsequently received a call from the vehicle's owner saying the car was stolen from outside her home this morning."

Steve was becoming more concerned as the seconds ticked past, "Nothing since then? Did he radio for backup?"

"Negative, Williams said he would radio if required."

'And none of you thought to check up on him when you didn't hear back!?" McGarrett said angrily.

"A call was placed to his car at 8.23am, no reply."

"Why was I not informed about this?"

Guilty silence at the end of the telephone. McGarrett sighed, knowing that sometimes things slipped through the cracks but this was Danno _dammit_ and where his friend and fellow officer was concerned everyone knew that McGarrett was the first point of contact - no exceptions.

"Right, I want a report on my desk NOW, I want details of that call and the car; make, registration and any description of the driver. I want to know where the vehicle was stolen from and the owner. Then get an APB out on Williams and I also want you to keep trying his car every ten minutes until you reach him, is that understood?"

"Acknowledged." The dispatcher said sheepishly.

"Very well. An officer may be down or in need of assistance so I want this to be a top priority!" He put the phone down with a bang just as Chin Ho Kelly entered the office.

Chin saw the look on Steve's face and asked, "Trouble boss?"

"I don't know Chin, call it a gut instinct but I think Danno's in trouble. Get Kono and Duke in here will you?"

"Will do." Chin replied and his forehead furrowed with worry.

Steve called to his secretary who slid around the door as Chin was leaving.

"Jenny, Danno was following a car earlier this morning and hasn't reported in since then, we have an APB out on him so I want any information, anything at all, routed directly to this office."

"Sure thing boss. I hope Danny's okay!"

"So do I love." He said wistfully.

*********

"Where do you want it bruddah?" Ratchet asked his brother.

"Put it on da cop's chest, that way I can look at it as I do him!" Mano answered and grinning Ratchet took Danny's gold shield and placed it on the bound man's naked chest, sweat making the leather stick to him. His breathing was so erratic that it fell off a couple of times before Koa squeezed the flesh around Dan's broken wrist and he held still, trying to control his breathing and the multiple pains coursing through his body.

"Hey looks good there, like a target man!" Mano's brother said in all seriousness.

"This is about the cops behind that badge and especially for McGarrett as I have fun with his officer. Then maybe we post it to him as a nice gift eh?"

"Yeah, cool idea!" Koa said and stared down into Danny's blue eyes rimmed with red, "Just get on with it though man, my knees are starting to ache up here and I want my turn with this pretty haole!" the long-haired islander leaned down over Dan and viciously scraped long nails up the length of his torso.

Danny's face screwed up in agony, not just from the large, heavy body leaning across his face and putting pressure on his head and broken wrist, but because of the spasm of fire that shot up through his body from being scratched so deeply.

"Shut up and wait your turn, mahu!" Mano picked up the dislodged badge and pushed Koa back up before replacing it. "You get plenty. I've seen you in that alley behind da bar; you think we don't notice? You'll get your turn, if we don't kill him first!"

Koa feigned a hurt look but went back to staring at Danny, making the detective feel even more uncomfortable as the man held his gaze with lust-filled curiosity.

"Come on guys, we're time pressured here, don't forget Sammie ain't gonna sit out there all day and someone is bound to get suspicious!" Lupe said lighting up a cigarette and drawing heavily on it before blowing smoke rings into the air.

Lying back on the car, Danny wondered how this would end, he listened with a policeman's ear to all that was being said, partly involuntarily since he truly believed he wouldn't live to see another sunrise, or sunset for that matter and partly because he wanted to log as much information about the men and what they said inside his brain on the off-chance that fate would conspire with him and not against him.

His back and ass were numb and his arms tingled with pins and needles, the blood draining from them, but at least if he didn't move the throbbing in his wrist wasn't as bad, it was only when Koa jiggled the handcuffs that the pain started up again. He jumped and his heart started hammering when he heard a voice speak to him.

"Right Williams…ready to meet your new master!" Mano said. "Push him down a ways will yah?" He then asked and Ratchet and Koa obligingly shoved Danny further towards the end of the bonnet, Dan's lower back screamed at him and he winced as the muscles complained at their abuse.

"Hey I didn't know cops could bleed!" the Samoan commented sarcastically and slid a finger over Williams' bloody chest. He took another long draw on his cigarette and then with a viciousness that made Koa wince, stubbed his smoke out on the inside of Dan's left thigh. Dan leaped off the car and slammed back down with a bang, the cigarette burning the tender flesh and searing through his nerve endings. It was excruciating.

The shield bounced off Danny's chest again and beneath the tape he bit his tongue bloody against the agony. A muffled scream was heard. Ratchet and Lupe pinned Dan's shoulders against the car and Koa gripped Dan's forearms as the boss began to assault the police officer. To Mano this was just necessary and something that he felt a long time coming, his own brand of revenge on the forces of law.

Danny fought his attackers with every ounce of his strength, wriggling as much as he could move and tensing his body, hoping to make it difficult and uncomfortable for Mano.

"Stop moving around you bastard!" Lupe said and smashed a fist into Danny's face, the blow stunning him and almost breaking his cheekbone.

Danny was close to blacking out, as much from the combined pain as the blow to his face, the edges of his vision became inky and Mano's body covering him enlarged in size in his failing eyesight, filling everything with a view of a perspiration-covered chest. He felt like he was bordering on the brink of madness as faces floated in and out of his vision.

_How much more was he supposed to take?_ He asked himself, and knew that their pleasure had just begun.

On the brink of completion, Mano deliberately dug his own fingernails into the sides of Danny's shins and scratched downwards, his victim thrashed about again then suddenly all movement stopped.

Looking down at the cop with the now tarnished badge, Mano saw that he had passed out.

"Damn!!"

*******

Sammie was anxiously watching the road. He had blood on the tops of his nails from biting them too low and was pacing up and down, scuffing the leather of his boots on the rough ground. Every time he heard a bump or crash come from inside he looked back at the shed, his stomach knotted with worry. He felt like he was getting in far deeper than he had anticipated and wasn't cut out for the kind of thing his friends were doing.

As a homeless teenager Mano had befriended him and given him small tasks to do around the workshop, gradually bringing him further and further into their confidence. He was like ohana to them but he wasn't _like_ them. He didn't have the rough, carefree attitude towards the world that the brothers had, nor did he see the law as something to be toyed with. Up until their deaths his parents had tried to instill in him a sense of belonging; something that as half haole-half Hawaiian he found difficult.

The policeman was a problem and it was Sammie's fault. He was scared about what they would do to the man, mainly because of the potential consequences to his freedom.

He scanned the road again, heart beating anxiously each time a car passed and slowed down. At any second he thought they would be caught, someone was bound to notice something suspicious and then the game was up. Whatever they were doing to the fair-haired cop inside would be public knowledge and he was prison bound.

He was so busy worrying he didn't see the car that turned into the forecourt from the side street and jumped as the sound of an engine close by forced him out of his reverie.

"Hey kid, you guys do punctures? Got a nail in the tire!" A large, pasty looking man said as he leaned out of the driver's window and lifted his sun shades to stare enquiringly at Sammie.

Sammie didn't know what to do. He was made to keep watch but no one told him what to do if someone actually _wanted_ something. Sucking on the blood oozing from a ripped fingernail he tried to put the guy off.

"Closed!" he said, but the word came out like a squeak.

"What you say kid? Listen I have a slow flat here, I need to get to town so how about it? Get someone out here would ya?" The driver insisted and pulled his car further onto the lot.

"NO…no you can't! I mean we're closed. Can't you see the sign?"

But the driver wasn't listening.

Sammie did the only thing he could think of - as the man parked the car he ran to the shed door.

When he pulled the roller open the light flooded into the darkened and humid shed and Sammie pulled it back again quickly, hoping the driver wouldn't follow him. He leaned his head forward on the door and banged it quietly. He needed to speak to Mano, desperate for someone else to take control of the situation.

When he turned around his mouth dropped open and he couldn't find voice to speak. His boss and mentor Mano was stripped naked and was assaulting the police officer who was stretched out on the top of the car that Sammie had stolen that morning, the man was held down by his friends and looked to be dead. Sammy shuddered.

"Shit!" Mano said as Dan Williams blacked out. "Shit, shit _SHIT_!" He pulled away from the prone detective and dropped Danny's legs with a thump to the bumper, the defiled badge rolling off onto the bonnet.

"Have you killed him already?" Ratchet asked and looked at his brother who was blowing hard from his exertions and sudden anger at Williams' abrupt exit from consciousness.

"No you stupid ass, I've not killed him, can't you see da wimp haole just passed out!" He pulled his coveralls back on over his sweaty body and stopped talking as he saw the three other men staring at a spot behind him.

Mano turned and saw Sammie standing by the door, the young man was pointing a finger at the scene before him and shaking his head vigorously.

"No no no no…M…Mano what are you _doing_? You…you can't do _that_!"

The big Hawaiian strode purposefully towards the kid and grabbed him by the scruff of the neck. "Never mind what we can and can't do – this is men's business! What da hell are you doing away from your post?" he said angrily.

"There's….there's a man outside. A customer!"

Lupe raised his eyes to the heavens and asked, "Then why didn't you get rid of him you pupule asshole?"

Sammie looked past Mano to where Danny Williams lay, deathly still on the car - he was shocked but part of him wasn't surprised, he guessed what they were up to when he was told to go out front – he just didn't want to believe it.

Mano snapped his fingers in front of the young man's eyes and whistled, "Psst - Sammie, focus here – what customer and why didn't you get rid of him?"

"He…he came in too fast! I told him we were closed but he wouldn't listen to me….Mano why are you doing that to the cop?"

"None of your business boy!"

Just then there came a loud rapping at the metal door and it started to roll back.

"Hey – anyone in there?"

Lupe sprinted across to the entrance and pulled it closed again. "Be with you in just a second mister!" He said reasonably and gripped the door tightly to stop it from being opened further before making a face, "Fuck that was close!" he whispered.

"You'd better get out there Lu, before they get to worrying. You - kid – you sit down there and shut up. Don't move unless I tell you _okay_?" Mano growled quietly. "Guys – dump that cop in the closet!"

Ratchet and Koa looked at each other and back down at Williams.

"What da hell are you waiting for? An invitation? Now dump him in there! Lupe will deal with this guy and then you can have your turn okay!"

The guys seemed satisfied with that and hefted Danny up between them. His head lolled to one side and his whole body flopped in their arms. Ratchet kicked the closet door open and together they swung his body roughly inside, dumping him on stacked cans of paint, oil and coils of wire like a sack of potatoes, the noise making Sammie jump.

As soon as the closet had been closed and locked, Lupe opened the roller door up and went outside to placate their customer.

"How much more bloody stupid are you going to be Sammie? You disappoint me you know that?" Mano shook his head as the young man sat down heavily on a rickety bench, head bent and hands wringing.

"Sorry Mano. Just scared I guess. I still don't get it…why were you doing that guy? I mean…he's a cop and that means pilikia – big BIG trouble! Why would you do that?"

"Well there are some things in life best left unanswered and this is one of them. Like I said, it's none of your damned business but if I catch you opening your trap – any loose words about this – to anyone – we'll beat da crap out of you _understood_!?"

Sammie nodded. They'd beaten him before and he still carried the scars on his back to remind him. Belonging didn't necessarily mean love.

Outside Lupe was swiftly assessing the damage to the man's tire and putting up with a tirade of meaningless chatter. He concentrated on getting the customer's vehicle roadworthy as swiftly as possible.

*****

Inside the stuffy closet Danny was just coming round. It was pitch black and he panicked, thinking himself encased in something until he felt the rough objects beneath him.

He hurt everywhere, his wrist was agonizing and swollen so badly that the cuffs dug into his flesh, only adding to his discomfort. The pain his backside was terrible enough but the pain in his heart was worse. He felt so alone and terrified that he thought his heart would burst from despair. Dan could hear sounds outside and realized the men must have shut him in somewhere. Wherever it was it was stifling and he found it hard to breathe. Not even a crack of light pierced the darkness.

In their haste to ensure they tucked him away from sight, they neglected to notice that his handcuffs were in front, not behind him and despite the intense pain it caused him to do it, he lifted his shackled wrists up and pulled the plaster from his mouth. He took deep, gasping breaths and tried to bring his mind back to somewhere he could focus on escape.

As Dan's eyes grew accustomed to the darkness, he tried shifting his body to a more comfortable position within the tiny cubbyhole but it was no good, there was no space that wasn't taken with tools or tins and sharp edges dug into his naked flesh, scratching his already marked and abused body.

He saw nothing. His only hope now was to make as much noise as possible so that someone – perhaps in an adjacent building or on the street – might hear his cries of help and call the police. Of course by the same token Danny knew that as soon as he opened his mouth he was likely to get it roughly shut again since the men were vicious in the extreme. He contemplated kicking out but wasn't sure that it wouldn't bring something down on his head - on the other hand what had he to lose?

Moaning at the suffering it caused him, Danny stretched his legs out. As he did so one bleeding and scratched shin connected with something sharp and it took all of his effort not to scream as he felt whatever it was tear through to the soft flesh of his calf. He began to weep, the hopelessness of his situation too overwhelming. Dan just hoped they didn't hear him as his breath hitched with the sobs. If they realized he was conscious before he had time to call out all would be lost.

Gathering his strength he managed to calm himself and praying silently to God Danny began to kick his feet shouting "_HELP!! CALL THE POLICE!!! HELP SOMEONE PLEASE HELP!!!_"

He kept up the shouting and kicking even as unknown objects rained down on him from the shelving around the closet. He tried curling in on himself and turning his head away but his stomach, chest, shoulders and legs were pummeled with tins of paint and other things. Something hit his temple and he almost blacked out again as it smashed into him.

"_HEY HELP!! SOMEBODY HELP ME PLEASE – CALL THE POLICE!!!"_ Danny shouted again and banged as best he could on anything that would make a noise.

"What the _fuck_ is going on in there??!!! I thought he was out cold!? Mano said gritting his teeth. "Koa you better check that guy has gone or we may have two corpses on our hands come sunrise!"

Koa ran off to do just that, taking a wrench with him in case he needed to subdue the driver of the vehicle.

Outside Lupe had just finished taking payment for the tire and he watched the customer as he pulled out of the lot - two seconds after the noise started up. The driver appeared oblivious and never blinked an eyelid.

"Shit Koa what da hell is happening bruddah!? You can hear that noise on the sidewalk!"

"It's the cop, he's yelling his head off in there! Do you think da guy heard?"

"Nah, he was cool. I'll go help get that bastard wrapped up, you stand watch outside."

Koa shook his head, "No way man, I'm gonna screw that haole next – ain't no way you're gonna take my place. I've waited my turn. You get Sammie back out here!"

"Sammie's unreliable. You have to do it!"

Koa poked a finger into the Samoan's chest, punctuating his words, "No Lu – you stay here then and I'll go!"

The Hawaiian touching him like that made Lupe clench his knuckles so tightly the blood drained from them until they were white but he complied, lighting up another cigarette as Koa raced back to find out what was going on.

"Get that door open!" Mano shouted angrily at Ratchet as he fumbled with the key.

More banging and shouts from inside. The commotion was loud enough to wake the dead.

Danny heard voices outside and braced himself for more pain as the angry men opened the door to the closet. He blinked at the light and saw shapes reaching towards him.

Hands grabbed him roughly and Koa and Ratchet dragged him out of the small space, his legs pulling tins and wire with him. He was bleeding from the stab wound and as they hefted him out by his suit jacket he left a trail of rich ruby blood across the concrete floor. He couldn't shout any more, he was concentrating on riding out the pain lancing through his body and his mouth was too dry from fear.

'_Stupid pig_!!!" Rachet shouted and kicked Danny in the ribs. The detective winced but knew he would be sporting more bruises soon.

"Screw you!" Danny said and was rewarded by another kick, this time from Koa.

That one hurt worse.

"No man we gonna screw YOU!" Mano's brother replied and as Koa and he dragged the struggling detective back to the center of the shed Ratchet ran a hand across a nearby work table and swept everything to the floor, leaving the rough wooden top bare. The clatter of objects on concrete echoed around the shed scaring the bird in the rafters and making it circle over head before coming back to roost in the beams.

They hoisted Danny up onto his back on the table, legs hanging over the side. He struggled again but managed to kick Ratchet's shin so badly the man howled. It gave him a fragile sense of revenge.

Mano grabbed Danny's hair from behind and bashed his head against the table. "You must want us to kill you so badly cop!" He said and his dark brown eyes burned into Danny's soul. "Have you not realized you belong to us? Your body is ours and we have to da power to do anything to you!"

Danny laughed, he couldn't help it – the situation was so ridiculous that his mind was fragmenting.

"What's so funny cop?" Koa asked in all seriousness.

"YOU!" Dan said and chuckled regardless of the pain it caused him, "You're so busy telling me I'm a dead man that you've forgotten your lives are over too! McGarrett and Five-0 will make sure of that! THAT'S what's so funny _you bastards_!"

Dan was rewarded with a head bashing again from Mano and stars literally flashed before his eyes.

Rather than reply with words, Ratchet reached between Dan's thighs and squeezed him as hard as he could, gripping tightly and letting his fingernails dig into the tender flesh. Danny thrashed and kicked, laughter turning to a weeping and choking fit as white hot tendrils of excruciating pain shot through him.

"There now!" Ratchet said almost tenderly as the kicking became less and less violent the tighter he gripped, "That's more like it wouldn't you say bruddahs?"

Mano and Koa grinned as Danny became quieter, his sobs easing and Mano's brother finally released his victim's abused skin.

"You know, it's nice when da pig's quiet and I can think of a better use for that hot pink mouth of his" Ratchet said smirking.

"He'll bite you." Koa warned but Mano was already two steps ahead of them and grabbed Danny's gun from where it had been discarded.

"Not if we use this!" The big boss said and waved it in front of Dan's face in warning.

"Get him up and hold him over the table, if you're gonna do his mouth I want his creamy white ass!" Koa added.

From behind them a small cough was heard and a forgotten Sammie came into view from behind Mano.

"Please don't do this guys!" Sammie begged as they went to move Williams. "The cop's right – they will come after us and the more you do to him, the worse it will be. Can't we just drop him somewhere and get away?"

"Listen to him! Let me go and I will speak up for you," Danny began weakly. Ratchet punched him viciously.

Mano tried to reason with the young hapa-haole, "You don't get it do you kid? This has gone too far now! There's no going back. We need to let da pigs know they can't just come in here and shut us down!"

'And screwing him is what? Your way of telling the cops off? That's crazy man, I think you just get off on the power trip. You're killing him!"

"Yeah Sam boy, we're killing him – OUR WAY! Wanna piece?" Koa said laughing and twisted Danny's nipples hard making him cry out.

Sammie's guts churned over and he turned away from the anguished look on the detective's face.

"Mano I can't do this! I can't stay here and wait for you to finish him off! Someone might have heard that racket – supposing they're on their way now! We have to get out of here right now! Leave him!!"

Mano grabbed Sammie hard by the shoulders and looked straight into his worried eyes, "Listen Sammie – you knew da score when you started boosting cars, you KNEW that things could get rough sometimes. I didn't hear you complaining then and I don't want to hear you complaining now." He looked at Danny lying on the table and continued, "That piece of shit is a cop, he's da enemy Sam – not one of us – he's not an islander – like me – like your mother was! You brought him here, this is _your_ fault kid and like it or not you're gonna see it through!"

"But this isn't anything like stealing! It's assault and murder, he's a police officer!! Mano please – all of you! I've heard of this McGarrett, and I've heard of Williams. Mano they're close; like ohana – the cop's right – Five-0 will hunt us down!! Be reasonable; think with your heads not your dicks!"

That bought him a slap for his insolence but he needed to say what he said. It was his life too.

"So what if I don't see it through?" Sammie asked nervously, favoring his cheek.

"Then we kill you too." Ratchet answered simply, his voice dripping with intent.

*******


	4. Countdown To The Fat Bird Singing

CHAPTER 4: Countdown to The Fat Bird Singing

"This is _ridiculous_!" Steve McGarrett thumped his desk and looked up at his two detectives, "How can Danno just _vanish_?"

Chin shook his head and pulled out his notebook, "We don't know Steve. Checked out his movements this morning, according to a neighbor Danny left his apartment around six-thirty, the owner of a street café that Danny frequents also recalled him being there early this morning. The guy says he left around seven-fifteen, he remembers the time because there was an incident on the street involving a driver almost killing a pedestrian and it wasn't long after the seven o'clock news bulletin. He said Danny always leaves around then."

"That must have been the car that he was following." Steve chimed in.

"Yeah, the proprietor wasn't sure what the car looked like, didn't get a look at the driver either - happened too quickly, said he heard the woman yell and brakes squealing then saw Danny rush to his car."

"Did he say which direction they were headed?"

"Vineyard – just like Dispatch said, but heading west."

"Okay, that's helpful. Chin, I want officers to do random checks in that whole area to see if anyone noticed anything suspicious or saw the Mustang; it's quite a distinctive vehicle so hopefully someone can give us something to go on. If you can find the woman or any witnesses to that incident get reports for me.

If Danno didn't call for backup then he probably had good reason but something has happened to him and I want to know what! I'm going over to the Professor's house to see if she can recall anything else about her car being stolen. Kono you're with me, I want you to check the neighbors to see if there were any witnesses. We have to find Danno and that stolen car. Gentlemen I have a very bad feeling about this, I just hope I'm wrong!"

*******

"What are you doing Ratch?" Koa said as his cousin took a coin from a pocket in his overalls.

"Toss you for him!"

"What?"

"Waddya want _first_? Heads.." He said grotesquely as he wiped a finger across Williams' tightly closed lips, "Or tails!" He grabbed Danny's backside.

"Oh man you're crazy! You're all crazy!" Sammie said as he watched the two men play a game for the officer's body.

"Shut up Sammie or we'll do you next!" Koa said and eyed him up as though he was seriously considering doing just that. Sammie just about wet himself with fright. He backed off hoping he could join Lupe outside but Mano held him firmly in place and shook his head at the young man.

"Uh-uh Sam boy – you're gonna help."

The coin flipped and as the tiny dime spun in the air Koa called out "Tails!" before gravity forced it to rest in Ratchet's palm. Ratchet turned it over onto the back of his other hand and lifted the palm to peer underneath. "Oh _man_!!" He said, disappointed at the result.

Koa laughed and boasted, "I'll bet you that ten spot I can make him enjoy something else too."

The long-haired Hawaiian matter-of-factly licked his lips.

"Please no more…I'm _begging_ you…just let me go…please!!" Danny said, his throat hoarse from shouting. Yet again he was anticipating what came next and his insides turned to water. He didn't know how much more he could endure.

"Come on pretty boy! You be nice to us and we'll be nice to you." Koa said and ran a hand along the inside of Danny's thighs. Dan closed his eyes and tried to focus on anything but what was about to happen. Koa bent down, moving the officer's shirt tails aside.

"NO...NO not that! DON'T DO THAT!!" He pleaded and found a hand clamped over his mouth as Koa went to work.

"You'll never forgive yourself if your body reacts to this eh cop? This time no one's gonna stop me.. mmmnn…"

Danny started counting backwards from one hundred in his head.

_`ninety-nine, ninety-eight, ninety-seven, ninety-six…'_ but he didn't get very far as, to his immense shame, he felt his body begin to respond.

'_one hundred…ninety-ni..ni…oh god..nine...'_

"OH…no…STOP please!" Danny felt a tingle of pleasure sweeping away the cobwebs of pain. _'Mustn't feel anything, especially not that!!!'_ He thought in shock.

It wasn't his fault, Danny's body was merely responding to the psychological and physical feelings as Koa sought to win his bet. He trembled and felt even more degraded than he had before.

Koa was talented and it wasn't long before the young detective was pushing himself off the table involuntarily.

'NOT happening, this is not happening…one hundred, ninety-nine, ninety-eight, nine….'

"OH!!!" He groaned and to his immense shame it was over.

"I win!" Koa said with evident pleasure as he lifted his head triumphantly and licked his lips.

Dan tried to curl in on himself, acutely ashamed of what had just happened but he had no time to reflect as Mano, Koa and Ratchet moved him off the table and roughly turned him around before making him bend over it sideways, chest pressed to the old wood and handcuffed hands in front. Splinters lodged themselves into his skin but the pain was so small compared to what he was feeling that he never even noticed them.

_`Seventy-three, seventy-two, seven..seventy-one, sixty-nine…'_

Koa lifted Dan's suit jacket and shirt up over his back, exposing him and running a hand along the smooth skin there. Danny was trembling all over and perspiration poured off him. "I'm a cop..you can't do this..McGarrett will find you…he will find you…please…_please_ don't.._not again_!"

"Yeah cop, you're mine now!" Koa said and he clamped a hand across Williams' mouth and pressed on his fractured wrist. Danny screamed against the hands gripping him and caught his bloodied tongue again on his teeth.

As Koa stepped between outstretched legs, Sammie was morbidly fascinated but felt sick at the same time. He winced as he saw the state of the cop's body; bloodied and red, saw the livid cuts and bruises on his half-naked skin, heard the man pleading for a reprieve and decided he didn't want to witness any more, he closed his eyes against the image. They had already embarrassed and shamed the man beyond all belief, he didn't think he could have survived a fraction of what Williams had already.

Danny wasn't aware of the passing of time, just the counting of numbers in his head as the men took their pleasure. _`Fifty-seven, fifty-six, fifty-five, fifty-four…' _ He heard some of their conversation but blanked out the rest, his mind beginning to close down against the assaults and the grunting, sweaty men as he concentrated on the figures whirling around his brain.

"Sammie hold his head up." Ratchet order, eager to try the detective's mouth.

"ME?!! NO! No way!"

"You do as you're told Sam or you get what's coming to him." Mano said angrily and turned Williams' gun to face the young man.

Sammie was terrified. He had to do as he was ordered unless he wanted to face their wrath and he knew Mano was deadly serious. As Koa and Ratchet glared at him he looked down at the fair-haired policeman and his eyes said a silent apology. He grabbed Danny's head as the detective struggled but Mano mashed the gun barrel down on Danny's fingers. "Resist this and I will shoot you!" Mano warned. Williams stopped fighting, unsure how he would cope with having his fingers blown off as well as everything else.

"Open your mouth pig." Ratchet instructed.

Nothing. No sign that Dan had heard the instruction.

Behind him Koa was beginning to move faster as he cleaved to his body. Dan closed his eyes against the agony, his internal count continuing, up and down he wasn't sure which way the numbers went any more, _'Six….six….SIXTY, seventy-two…seven…ty, seventy….oh GOD make it stop!'_

"Please..cop – do as he says!" Sammie begged. Another smash of the gun and Danny cried out but he carried on counting, this time aloud but more confused than before.

"sixty-four, sixty-five, six…please no…please no…sixty-fifty, fifty…" Danny said out loud, murmuring almost incoherently.

"What the hell is he yakking on about?" Ratchet said as listened to the mumbling.

"Fifty...sixty-four..no…Steve…someone get Steve…_Steve_?!"

"He's losing it man but…oh… he's hot!" Koa answered distractedly.

Ratchet grabbed Danny's head between both hands and slapped him - no hint of compliance just the semi-mad counting.

"..Four..forty..forty-nine…twenty….twenty-one, nineteen, eighteen…"

"Come on man, don't be pupule!" Sam said again and dug his fingers into the side of Williams' cheeks pulling the clenched jaw open. Rachet sensed victory and pushed his body forward. Danny gagged and fought but Sammie gripped his hair tight and his mouth tighter as the Hawaiian had his turn.

Within moments it was over, Ratchet too excited to prolong the act but not Koa; he was just getting into his stride.

Danny coughed and spluttered, gagging again as his revulsion became overwhelming. Sammie relaxed his grip allowing the detective respite as his head hit the table. Saliva dribbled down Danny's chin as he struggled to say, "sixteen…s..sixteen, fifteen..thirteen...ten..n..nine."

Koa swung his long, shiny hair back and forth panting loudly as he thrust until finally, with a yell, he could contain himself no longer. "Oh man…five, four, three, two…..ONE!" Koa said mockingly and as his pleasure raged through him he sucked then bit Danny's back, just beneath the shoulder blade – biting through the flesh so badly that Ratchet and Mano had to rush to hold Danny down as their cousin marked his victim.

Danny was so light-headed he saw the shed spinning around him and felt the weight of the other men pressing down on him again. He had put up with so much but the pain in his back was finally too much. His wrist was giving him trouble too and he could see the bird circling just above the bench-tops, unseen by the others, just a whirling bird circling and circling and circling and circling. He wondered if it was real or a product of his imagination.

"Five..f..four..three, tw..two – gone…" He said as the wings of darkness crept towards him and mercifully he slipped away.

********

Sammie ran outside, he couldn't watch any more and didn't care if Mano beat him for it. He had tears at the corner of his eyes and the stench of sweat brought bile to the back of his mouth. If Lupe hadn't caught him on the way out he thought he would have run forever.

"Hey Sam what you running for?" Lupe asked, throwing his cigarette to the dirt and crushing it underfoot.

"Leave me the _fuck_ alone! You're all crazy sons of bitches!" He shouted and put a hand up to his mouth to stifle an unmanly sob as the bitter taste in it flowed back to where it had come from.

"So they all took their turns eh?" Lupe said smiling at the younger man's discomfort. "Well he's nothing but haole trash anyway; now even more so. Do I need to make good on my bet?"

"_What_?" Sammie asked and couldn't believe that the Samoan he had called his friend was so casual about all of this.

"Come on, he's a _cop_, nothing more. So what did they do to him eh?"

The young man simply shook his head repeatedly, dumb struck at the lack of humanity in all this.

"Well if you're not gonna tell me details Sammie I'm goin' back in there to ask da fullahs! Stay here – that's an order and if anyone comes we are C.L.O.S.E.D okay?"

With that, Lupe didn't wait for a reply and left a bemused and bitterly upset Sam to stand guard.

********

"Man da pig has gone again! Probably just as well, we're finished here. He's no good to us any more." Mano said as he checked Dan out where he had slid to the floor after they released him. He waited for Koa to get himself decent before thinking about what they ought to do next.

Lupe closed the roller door and came in laughing. "Hey fullahs did you have a party without me?"

"Yeah Lu," Koa said lasciviously, "We did him good. You should have seen his face! It was priceless. The cop's been well and truly serviced and you owe me a ten spot!"

Lupe laughed. "Wish I could have seen da expression in his eyes! It would have made my loss so much more appealing ya know?"

"It was priceless Lupe!"

"Right now - if you two have finished discussing your conquests we need to get this car sprayed, change da plates and clear up what we need. Then we split back to our old place!" Mano said as the men assembled around him.

"Yeah but what about _him_?" Koa asked, indicating the unconscious and abused form on the concrete.

"Tape his mouth and his ankles, lock him in da closet and get those handcuffs behind his back. He won't give us any trouble. We've got to get organized and out of here."

"And what do we do with him afterwards brother?" Ratchet asked.

"Get his shield and da rest of his clothing, chuck 'em in the police car and send it over da edge somewhere."

"Shouldn't he be in it?" Ratchet asked. "I mean we're gonna get rid of him right so why not with his cop-mobile?"

"Because dick-head, we need him here for da moment in case da cops get here before we've gone – insurance you dig? We can hold a gun to his head eh Mano?" Lupe offered by way of an answer and sought his bosses approval.

"Yeah but da car is too risky to leave out back in case anyone is stupid enough to poke their heads over da gate. Okay bruddah get onto it! We will kill da pig and dump him later."

"Hey Mano, with that racket he made last time shouldn't we knock him out properly or something, he could come round?" Lupe said sensibly and hefted the wrench he had brought in from outside.

"You're right – just do it! Hey did you leave Sammie all alone out there Lu?"

"Yeah why?"

"Because he can't be trusted, da little shit went all squeamish on us. I think we might have to do something about him. I'm reluctant 'cos I like da kid but we have to protect ourselves."

"So you want me to smash da cop or grab da kid first Mano? Make up your mind!"

"Don't get fancy with me Lupe, we're all in this together and someone has to give orders around here. Leave Sam out there until we get da pig trussed then bring him in here and we'll deal with him."

Without further discussion, the stocky Samoan went over to the water cooler and poured out a plastic cup full of the stuff. Going back to where the detective lay he threw it in Danny's face.

As Danny spluttered back to partial consciousness he was greeted by the sight of the first man who had brutally raped him. He tried to shy away, cowering inwardly as well as outwardly.

"Hey fullahs our boy's awake and look, he's a tiny bit scared!" Lupe said cheerily and grinning, all four men stared down at Dan as he lay on the floor, their shadows blending together in a poisonous cloud.

"What did it feel like getting your ass plowed eh cop? You liked that didn't you? In fact you liked it so much I hear Koa turned you on with his hot, wet mouth!" The others laughed at Lupe's lewd comments and continued to stare at Dan like hungry lions over their next meal.

But Danny wasn't listening to them, he was barely conscious and his mind had drifted away. He suddenly wondered about the meeting he was supposed to have with Steve McGarrett that morning and began to panic.

"No more…no more… late. Have to go!" Danny said, his voice thick with confusion and worry.

With no word of warning Lupe lifted the wrench and struck Danny straight on the side of his head.

"Well go then you sonofabitch!"

Danny gasped once and the lights went out again.

*********

"Steve we have nothing!" Duke Lukela said as he watched McGarrett pacing back and forth in his office. He had already worn a track in the carpet pile and Duke thought the flooring might burn from the friction.

McGarrett's brow was furrowed with concern and his hand tapped his thigh constantly, back and forth, back and forth with mad repetition, causing the HPD officer to stare at the Five-0 Chief in concern.

"Why not?" Steve said at last, gritting his teeth. "Hmmn? Why is there _nothing_ to go on? We have a witness tell us which direction Danno was headed, we have Danno's own report about the color, make and registration of the car and yet we _still_ have nothing!"

Duke shook his head, unable to come up with anything that would alleviate McGarrett's anxiety. Kono, Chin Ho, George and every available officer was out on the streets searching for Danny Williams. An immensely popular man there was no help denied; police on and off duty were out searching for their missing colleague.

Eventually Steve stopped pacing and stared at Duke, a look of deep pain in his eyes. It was as though he had lost his right arm which, as anyone in the force knew, was practically what he had done. Dan Williams was not just McGarrett's second-in-command, he was also one of the man's closest friends. "Duke I want a helicopter out, get them to search in a grid pattern starting from Danno's last known sighting. I want them to work as fast as they can before sunset. Have another comb the coastline between here, and here." He said, walking to a map board and indicating a probable location for a crash based on the length of time Dan had been missing. There was a large blood-red dot on the map which was a macabre reminder of the last sighting of Williams.

"Okay Steve, I'm onto it but there's an awful lot of ground to cover and what's to say Danny hasn't left the car and is on foot somewhere?"

"It's highly probable I know but for now this is all we have. Good luck and get everyone to report directly to me if there's anything!"

Duke nodded. Nothing further needed to be said.

After Lukela left, Steve walked through to the outer office and his secretary watched him in silence as he went into Danny's cubicle and sat down behind the desk in his 2-I-C's customary seat. Steve ran his hands gently over the table top, touching pieces of paper and files as he explored Williams' world. He picked up the pencil that lay discarded on his desk and ran a finger over it, as though some small impression of Danno would be left in the wood. "What has happened to you my friend?" He said quietly and sighed deeply.

He sat there for a full ten minutes, saying nothing; simply contented to be in Danno's space, trying to find a connection to the missing man. His thoughts were rolling over and over and he found no solace in the images that were presented to him as possible scenarios for the missing detective. Eventually he found the theorizing too deeply disturbing to continue and he walked back into his own office and picked up the phone. It was time to tell the Governor.

*******

Back at the garage, Mano stepped outside to where his brother was on guard.

"Okay we're done here, when Lupe gets back we'll get him to drive da Mustang, body paint is still wet but we're just gonna have to risk it and repaint when we get to da old workshop."

Ratchet looked at him and bit his lip, "You know brother none of this would have happened if Sammie had been more careful. He's great at boosting cars but man, he's _crap_ at anything else. You think he'd squeal on us?"

"I dunno Ratch, he's pretty up tight, must be his haole blood, getting squeamish over da pig. I think it would be in our best interests if da kid helped take care of da cop - understand my meaning?"

Ratchet took a packet of cigarettes from his overalls and shook them out, offering one to his brother who took it and waited for the corresponding light.

"Yeah I think so Mano. If Sammie helps to off the cop then he's not likely to go shouting about it." He lit his brother's cigarette before his own and puffed on it deeply, letting a ring of smoke free into the cooling air and watching it as it dissipated into nothing.

"Exactly my thinking bruddah."

"Williams is quiet."

"Out cold I think. Lupe hit him real hard. Might even have done da job for us. My thinking is that we might consider cutting Sammie loose anyway. You got any objections?"

Ratchet took another drag on his cigarette and inhaled, "Nope. Your call Mano – you've always been closer to da kid than me. I reckoned he was a loose cannon when you took him on; another mouth to feed and another loose lip. Not ohana like Koa and not a psycho case like Lu. No, no objections."

Mano nodded his head and went to get their small flat bed truck. He drove it around to the roller doors and inside the shed to continue packing. As he did so a small brown bird flew out of the gloom and almost smashed into the windshield causing him to swerve and hit the water cooler.

"_Fucking_ bird!" He shouted and stamped his foot on the brake. Water from the crushed cooler spread over the concrete floor washing away some of the dust and drying blood from Dan Williams' wounds.

He got out and slammed the door shut. "Koa get over here." He shouted irritably and the long-legged man came over to him.

He was just tying his hair back into a bun and fiddling with the twigs as he responded to his cousin's command. "Yo!"

"How's da cop?"

"Quiet as a mouse, reckon he's gonna be no trouble from now on."

"Well we won't be requiring him much longer! We just need to get da rest of the stuff packed and moved. Can we move that Mustang yet?"

Koa looked back at the now black spray-painted mustang and shrugged his shoulders, "It'll ruin da finish but yeah, we could get away with driving it for the moment."

"Good, Lupe will get it back to our place, got a buyer coming in tonight – I'll tell them da location's moved."

Mano put an arm around his cousin's shoulders and moved him further away from where Sammie was working on the license plates and out of ear shot.

"Bruddah we might need you to off da cop and I want you to take Sammie with you. Get my drift?"

Koa automatically looked back at the young red-eyed man working on the stolen car and back at his cousin quizzically. "You want me to off mister pig and you figure I can do da kid too is that what you're asking!? Why Mano? He ain't done nothing wrong? He's just young is all."

"I never said you had to _kill_ him. Just make sure he does his bit so he can't go to da cops. I want him involved so he's up to his neck in da same business we are!"

"He'll never go for that – Sammie's got heart."

"Well that's when you might have to make a hard decision. I'm trusting you Koa; this is our lives we're talking about here. You gonna chicken out on me too?" Mano said and reaching across to the bench he handed Danny's police special to him. "Here, take this – you make sure your prints are off da gun when you dump it with the body."

"Or bodies!?"

Mano slapped him on the back as Koa reluctantly handled the gun, "Tough I know but this is self-preservation man. We've had our fun and boy did it feel good but now we have to make sure we tie up loose ends okay?"

"So why me?"

Mano's voice lowered even more, "You think Sammie's gonna get in da car with one of us after da way we threatened him? Nah bruddah, you persuade him to go with you. Tell him…tell him we're just dumping da pig and when Williams is dead it's too late - you dig?"

Koa turned the gun over in his hands and felt the weight of responsibility weigh heavily on his shoulders. If he didn't do as his boss instructed chances were he would never be welcome in the business again; on the other hand if he did murder the cop and the walls came tumbling down then _he_ would be the one taking the rap.

"Are you sure da cops won't find out it's us?" He asked.

"Yeah. They're too dumb. They probably don't even know where to start looking for him. Williams can't have called it in or we'd be kicking our heels behind bars right now. This McGarrett he was going on about; he was bluffing. I've heard of this guy and he's a tough cookie but that's just PR, he's probably taking back handers like most of da pigs!"

"Well I'm not so sure. I've never killed someone before Mano!" Koa said and his face paled.

Mano was starting to have second thoughts about leaving his cousin to do their dirty work but it was partly deliberate; he wanted someone other than himself or his brother to pull the trigger and Lupe, whilst perfectly capable of being the scape goat for them all wasn't dumb enough to fall for it. Koa was their only hope. He had to pull it off.

"Hey it's easy. The guy's unconscious and hurting; think of it as a mercy killing. Just…" he put a finger up to Koa's temple like a gun and pressed his thumb down meaningfully, "…squeeze da trigger and that's it! Hell he'd probably off himself it we gave him da chance!"

Koa was trying to consider all the options but figured his life wouldn't be worth living if he refused. How _could_ he refuse? He licked his dry lips and his palms were sweating as he replied, "Okay I'll do it. For our ohana; for you and Ratch."

"At-a-boy, I knew you had da stones for it somewhere in that crazy mixed-up body of yours! Now remember – don't let Sammie know what's going on until you get as far away from here as possible and then get him involved up to his pretty half-breed neck. Kill da pig with him or come home without him. Understand?"

"Yeah..yeah Mano I understand! I got it okay."

The older man held his hands up in surrender, "Okay Koa, just wanted to make sure is all."

"Let's get on with it." Koa finished and stuffing the weapon under his clothing he took it outside to his car unseen by Sammie and shoved it in the glove compartment. He stood there for a second or two, wondering how this would all end.

"Hey Sammie, come here will ya?" Koa said at last and the young man looked up from his work nervously but made no move to comply with his request. "Come on man, we don't have all day!"

Putting down his screwdriver, Sammie wiped his hands on his jeans and walked over to Koa. "Yeah."

"We're going on a road trip. You and me."

Sammie unconsciously started to bite his fingernails again making the Hawaiian slap his hand down. "Cut that out, you drive me nuts with that _bite bite_ stuff – you're not a child any more Sam. So how about it? You coming?"

"Where are we going?"

"As far away from here as possible you dig? We …er…we're going to dump da cop."

Sammie's eyes widened, "Dump him? You don't mean _kill him_!? Koa we _can't_!"

Koa closed his eyes briefly, steeling himself for the lie and replied, "Did I mention killing? We're just dumping him. Miles away, understand? That way we'll be long gone by da time he wakes up."

Such a simple lie, so easy – like killing someone. Only Koa would never find taking someone's life easy; he was a lover not a murderer. But some things just had to be done.

"You with me or you want to stay here with them? Your choice Sam-boy." Koa added, knowing that would make the hapa-haole consider his options. As predicted Sammie appeared scared and the young man turned around only to find Ratchet grinning at him like he was next on the menu.

He nodded, palms suddenly sweating, " 'kay Koa, I'm with you."

It was done.

When they unlocked the closet door the stench of an unwashed body and the iron tang of blood wafted out and Ratchet coughed slightly before grabbing Danny's arm and leg, pulling his limp body back out into the open. The half-naked detective was sporting a wide assortment of cuts and bruises and the side of his face was swollen and purple from the blow Lupe had given him. There was encrusted blood where the wrench had broken the skin and his clothing was torn and dirty.

He was still deeply unconscious which was just the way they wanted him.

Without bothering with niceties, Mano lifted Dan's legs and Ratchet his arms and they hefted him into the back of Koa's car carelessly and covered him up with a blanket.

"Just make sure you keep within da speed limit Koa you hear? We don't want any more traffic violations!"

"I'm not stupid Mano, you don't need to lecture me!" His cousin replied as he got into the driver's seat. Sammie sat next to him, staring over his shoulder at the unmoving body lying beneath the covering, concerned when he couldn't see the man breathing.

Ratchet nodded to Koa and laughed, "See you got da trash run bruddah!"

"Yeah thanks for nothing Ratch! Meet you guys at da old place as soon as I…I mean.._we_..can."

Mano noticed the slip but let it slide. He and Koa slapped palms and gripped fists then the mahu islander started the car and drove off slowly, mindful of what his cousin had said about the cops and speeding.

When the car was well out of sight Ratchet turned to Mano and they both grinned at each other as though sharing some private joke.

"What a rush Mano – that was da best fucking time I've had in ages!!"

"Oh yeah Ratch, that cop was something else. I kinda wished I could do it all over again." Mano answered.

They slapped each other on the back manfully and laughing to themselves went to work on tidying up and getting away - _or so they hoped_.

*******


	5. A Price For Everything

CHAPTER 5: A Price for Everything

The two youngest mechanics drove along in complete silence, both aware of the enormity of what had happened and the task that lay ahead. What Sammie didn't know though was he was part of that task.

"Where are we going?" Sammie said eventually, the silence now unbearable as his thoughts turned to the possible repercussions of all that had happened.

"Far enough." Koa replied tersely and glanced at him before continuing on their way.

Sammie turned to look at their charge in the back of the car, there was no change. Danny was still out cold and Sam shivered, recalling all he had witnessed them put the man through. So what if he was a cop, he was still a person and from the look of him not much older than Sammie was himself. He shuddered to think what his father would have done to him if he was still alive, probably skinned him for his part in the man's assault. But then, Sammie reflected, if his parents had still been living he wouldn't be stealing cars to make a buck or hanging out with the likes of Mano and Ratchet.

As they turned onto an old dirt road they heard the tell-tale sound of rotor blades and Sam leaned out of the passenger window in time to see a helicopter fly over.

"Searching for him you reckon?" Sammie said intuitively and checked his cheap watch for the time, an idea occurring to him.

'How da fuck should I know?"

"Seems to me this McGarrett guy he works for might be missing him about now."

"Yeah well he should have thought of that before he sicked da pig onto you for bad driving!"

Sammie sighed. He always thought Koa had a better heart than his cousins, perhaps he was wrong. He had certainly witnessed that day how brutal all three relatives could be and he silently cursed his mixed heritage, wishing he was one thing or another. Right now his Polynesian blood was well and truly hidden and if anything he was rooting for the haole cop, even though he knew in his heart it wasn't their heritage to blame for the way they treated the man but how society had treated them. He wanted to stop them killing Williams partly to save Sam's own skin and partly because he didn't think what they had done was morally acceptable. Stealing was one thing, sexual assault a whole different ball game.

The helicopter came back and circled them again as they kicked up a trail of dust along the road.

Sammie reached into the back and made sure the blanket was covering their prisoner up then hunkered down in the seat. He knew they couldn't see him but didn't want to take any chances.

Eventually the sound drifted away and he sat back up straight just in time to see a sign as they passed. It had `_Hawaiian Sugar Planters Association'_ painted on it followed by the words _`Aie..'_ - nothing more, Koa was going too fast and the sign was so badly faded he couldn't read it.

They passed through a set of broken down gates and as the dirt road became more crowded with vegetation it became clear they were in an abandoned cane field of some kind. The crop was still there but it had been allowed to grow so close to the road that it was almost impossible to see exactly where the access route was. The cane was running wild and needed burning off.

Koa drove on, faded leaves smashing at the car as they went deeper into the plantation, leaving scratch marks on the paintwork and making Koa curse as it stuck in his bumper.

Up ahead a black shape darted out in front of them and the Hawaiian slewed the car to avoid it. It was an unusually large Polynesian rat; a sure sign of neglect. Koa wondered about leaving the cop to his fate in a rat infested cane field but didn't see he had a choice. Besides which, dead bodies couldn't feel rodents nibbling at their corpses.

He knew this particular plantation went on for miles, or had until the military took over much of it. They weren't far from the airport but far enough from civilization to ensure that no one would find Williams' body for quite some time - what would be left of him after the rats had fed off him. Koa shuddered as he thought of them biting into the handsome young man's flesh that he had so recently tasted. 'Damn waste.' He thought.

A short time later he decided they were far enough in and slowed the car to a stop. Koa glanced at the glove compartment, his heart hammering as he contemplated killing another human being. It wasn't every day he was given such a daunting and onerous task. Now it came down to it he wasn't sure he could do the deed.

Sammie glanced again at his watch.

"Okay bruddah. Let's get him out." Koa said, bracing himself for what was to come.

As Sammie got out of the car and went to open the back, Koa swiftly opened the glove compartment and took the gun out, tucking it into his open coveralls and out of sight.

He got out of the vehicle and went to help his young friend drag Danny out of the back. Each took a leg and Sammie grimaced as the light of day illuminated the detective's bruised and bloodied body as it slid out from under the blanket. One of Williams' handcuffed wrists was at an odd angle and the kid realized it must be broken. _'So much pain.'_ He thought and wondered where all this compassion for a complete stranger had suddenly come from. It scared him almost as much as what the men had done to the cop.

Danny's body went down hard on the compacted ground, his backside slipping into the dirt as they pulled him out.

Koa got behind him and put his hands underneath Danny's arms, "Take his legs!" He ordered and Sammie complied, hefting them up and groaning at the effort. For a compact-sized man Williams was well-muscled and that made him heavy.

As they took him further into the fields their bodies were whipped by the sharp leaves and it became almost impossible to see their way over the tops of the stalks, let alone back to the car. If it wasn't for the crushed path behind them they could have been lost.

"Right this if far enough I think." Koa ordered and he dropped Dan to the ground without ceremony. Sammie was more gentle as he placed the unconscious detective's legs down and again said a silent apology to the man.

Danny's face was pale and he was breathing so shallowly that he looked to all the world as though he were dead. His blue suit jacket was ruined and his shirt hung around him like a rag. The rest of his body was a mixture of bruises and cuts and the younger gang member was shocked at his condition. Sammie made a silent promise to the cop that he would get help out to him the first chance he got. He started to walk back towards the car.

"Er…Sammie." Koa called from behind him.

Sam turned and blood started pounding in his veins when he saw Koa standing over the policeman with a gun in his hands, the weapon pointed at the prone man's chest.

"I'm sorry Sammie-boy, but we have to do this!"

"No Governor I understand it's the tax payer's money I'm spending but Danny Williams is an important part of this unit and as such I have a duty to find my man! _Yes_, I understand that it's costing the department a great deal to put on a manhunt."

More noise at the end of the telephone and Steve held it away from his ear and grit his teeth as he listened to the practical tirade from Governor Jameson. After he had told Jameson that Danno was missing he had promised to keep him informed of all developments but someone had told Jameson that McGarrett had every available cop out looking plus helicopters and the statesman wasn't happy; hence his latest phone call.

"Yes, yes I will let you know. Well of _course_ I think it's serious! Governor -Danno's last communication indicated he was after a suspect, now he's gone missing – what am I _supposed_ to think - that he's gone for lunch?"

More mumbling on the line and this time Kono and Chin Ho heard the reprimand that Governor Jameson gave McGarrett for his sarcasm quite clearly across the phone.

Kono winced and Chin Ho looked down at his lap.

"Well thank _you_ sir. I most certainly will do that, I just hope you're right!" Steve said and slammed the phone down.

He took a deep breath and turned to his men. "That, as you probably heard gentlemen, was a very upset Governor. He wants us to call off the search. He thinks we should give it another twenty-four hours before we panic."

Kono piped up first, "But you can't do that Boss! Danno's out there somewhere and we don't have any leads!"

"Mahalo for pointing that out to me!" Steve replied sardonically and turned to look out of the lanai at a large gray cloud bank forming on the horizon. It looked like there might be a thunderstorm; the first rain in almost three weeks.

"Kono's right Steve, we can't abandon the search now, it's going to get dark in a couple of hours and there's a storm coming, what if Danny's hurt somewhere?"

McGarrett stood quietly for a few moments, loosening his tie and watching the thunderheads grow. He thumped his fist against the wooden window frame, making the others jump.

Having made his decision he turned back to the two anxious men before him. "I have no intention of abandoning Danno. I have a gut feeling that he is hurt and there's no way in _hell_ I'm going to give up the search now, even if it means my badge!"

"Koa what are you doing?" Sammie said, stunned at the turn of events.

"You don't get it do you kid? The world doesn't work da way you think it should! We _have_ to do this."

"What's this `_we'_ thing? I have no intention of helping you off the cop! You said to me you wouldn't do this! You told me that we were just going to dump him. You can't be seriously thinking of topping a cop? A Five-0 cop at that. Like I said – you're _crazy_ man!"

Koa stepped towards him, crushing more leaves underfoot and waving the gun in his hand. "So you think _what_? That we were just going to leave him here so that maybe - just _maybe_ - someone finds him? Then what Sam? He talks – that's what! The cop fucking talks and we all go to jail – do not pass Go – do not collect $200! You're da one who's crazy. That's me, you, Ratch, Lu and Mano; all jailed for fuck knows how long because of _him_! You think his stinking life if worth that?"

Sammie shook his head in disbelief. "I always liked you Koa." He said in earnest. "I thought you, of all of them, were someone worth caring about, that you had something special about you. I remember the way you pulled Mano off me when I was younger; you stopped him beating me and you helped put my life back together when things went belly up. You're not like them, please don't do this!"

"You're too fucking right I'm not like them Sammie – I am my _own_ man and I am NOT going to have some self-righteous caped crusader cop ruining that!" He sighed heavily and put the cold gun flat against his own head and closed his eyes. "Da brothers scare me sometimes and I am not going to be a victim like he is!"

Sammie looked from Dan Williams lying on the ground and back to his friend then took a couple of steps bravely towards Koa.

"I think you're already a victim Koa; you just haven't admitted it to yourself yet. Think of your conscience. How are you going to live with the fact that you took another person's life? I don't want that for you my friend – I care about you too much for that. Let's leave the cop here – he may even die out here and then your conscience would be clear."

Koa was staring at Sammie now as the younger man came towards him, his words gently soothing and he distractedly began to realize how the boy had matured into a man; a very appealing man.

"I..I know what you're trying to do Sammie." He said and licked his lips that had suddenly become very dry. "You don't understand though! Mano will kill me – he wanted me to kill you if you didn't co-operate!"

That brought Sammie up short. His eyes opened wide in shock. A man he had called ohana wanted to _kill_ him. In that brief moment his whole life changed. Sammie was a freed man – no longer tied to the constraints of family – he was free of the brothers, of Lupe and the workshop; of Koa and stealing cars and of everything. He could never go back.

"I don't believe you." He said carefully and Koa laughed.

"Trust me kid it's true. If you don't take part in this – what did Ratchet call it? Ah yes – _trash run_. Then I'm afraid I have orders to leave you here with Williams. You have a choice man."

Sammie was angry now, "What choice? Eh Koa – what _CHOICE_!? You want me to soil my hands and possibly my soul by killing someone? I've already soiled them helping you and the others assault the guy but now you want me to take part in his murder? Kill or be killed, is that it?"

Sam had come right up to Koa and his brown eyes were burning into the Hawaiian's correspondingly dark ones. Koa could feel his body heat and smell the young, fresh sweat emanating from his body and suddenly Koa's blood was up and he couldn't restrain himself any longer. The kid was now an adult, a very attractive adult.

Koa grabbed Sammie's arms, bruising him as he crushed the gun into his flesh and he kissed Sammie full on the lips. The younger man struggled against him and fought to get free, eventually he stamped on Koa's foot and the bigger man let go.

"_Ow_!"

Sam wiped a hand across his mouth and shouted in disgust, "What the _shit_ was that for!!?"

Koa smiled, enjoying the taste of the young man on his lips and replied, "What did you _think_ it was for? You look sexy when you're angry Sammie. I had no idea you could be so forceful!"

"Why you mahu _creep_! You touch me again and I'll…." Sam said and clenched his fists tightly.

"You'll WHAT? Huh Sam? You'll hit me? Punch me? Kill me? Go to the cops? _What_? Just exactly what do you think you'll do?" Koa retorted and leveled the gun at Sammie's face. "That's a good boy Sammie." He added as the younger man unclenched his white knuckles.

Sam backed down, he was painfully aware that the odds were all on the Hawaiian's side and he felt the ground shifting under him and his chance to save Williams' life drifting further away. "So what now?" He asked and was disgusted to see Koa eyeing him up and the man's tongue dart out of his girlish mouth.

"Care to trade?" Koa said.

"You _HAVE_ to be kidding me!" Sammie said in shock.

"Do I look like I'm kidding you?" Koa offered, pointing at his obvious arousal.

"You're disgusting you know that don't you?"

"Well let's see just how disgusting I can be when I blow his brains out then shall we?"

And with that Koa turned back to Danny and cocked back the hammer on his gun, testing the younger man.

"NO! STOP! Don't do it. Koa please I'm _begging_ you, don't kill him man. _Please_! Where's your compassion?"

"Currently my compassion is in my pants."

Sammie stood very still as Koa came back towards him and as he placed the gun back into safety mode the Hawaiian reached out with a hand and grabbed Sammie through his jeans, cupping the young man through the denim.

Sam squirmed under the touch.

"You really are a man now!" Koa said laughing. He was breathing heavily down the curly-haired youth's neck and Sam gulped, wondering how such a dreadful day had started.

"You…you can't do that Koa. We're friends!" He said weakly and felt the hand shift.

"Friends make da best lovers." Koa said simply and moved in to kiss Sammie again.

Sam moved his head away sharply and was gripped painfully for his actions. "Get your hands _off_ me!" He growled.

"Play it your way Sammie boy but know this; when you are tucked up in bed tonight and this pretty man's corpse is lying out in this rat-infested hell-hole with a bullet in him you can take credit for that – just you. You brought him to us, and now you're killing him! How's _that_ for conscience?"

Seconds ticked by.

"Okay."

"Pardon me? I didn't hear that?" Koa asked and gripped Sammie's jaw.

"I said okay. _Okay_?!"

Koa smiled, it was the same smile as his shark cousin Mano had. The smile of the victorious.

"Well you see Sam that's a good thing. It means we can progress from here" Koa said.

'_Oh god why me?!'_ Sammie thought and knew then how the young cop must have felt in that shed.

"Ain't got all day kid!"

When he had held the cop's face so Ratchet could force himself into his mouth Sammie had seen the look of disgust and the anguish it had caused Williams, equally when Koa made his body react there was an empty look in the cop's eyes that said more than disgust, it spoke of undying humiliation. He didn't want that. Neither did he want to touch Koa; it horrified him as someone who only ever had relations with girls. They were right though, the cop's life belonged to him – he had made a mistake that caused the Five-0 detective to follow him and now he had to do the right thing to save the man's life.

"What do you want me to do?" He said and felt a yawning pit open up in his stomach that he recognized as nerves.

"Oh man you don't know how happy you made me!" Koa said. "Fair's fair, a life is worth a lot right? So the way I figure it I should get what I want but - today is your lucky day, I'm selling one pig - cheap. So come and kiss me Sammie, I want a proper one from you." He ordered.

And very, very reluctantly the young man stepped toward his slender friend.

_`I can do this. I have to do this!'_ Sammie thought, grateful that Koa hadn't asked anything more of him.

"Just tell me one thing Koa."

"What?"

"Were you ever _really_ my friend?"

Koa laughed and looked at the young man before him. "Yes Sammie I was your friend – when you were a boy. Now you're a man and it's everyone for themselves - understand?"

Sammie nodded his head slowly, "Everyone for themselves." He repeated. "Yes, I think I understand perfectly."

"Good now I'm selling if you're buying."

Sam looked at the body lying on the ground so close to them and back to the man in front of him. He closed his eyes, sighed heavily and swallowed down bile that rose in his mouth.

"Oh for god's sake kid! You can't change your mind now; it's just a kiss. A deal is a deal, you stop now and so help me I will shoot the cop and you can watch him die in agony" Koa said, frustrated. "Kiss me NOW or I...will…kill him!"

Koa stepped towards Danny's limp form and kicked him to check he wasn't feigning unconsciousness before bending down and moving the shirt aside. He then pressed the gun to the detective's stomach and pushed down. Beneath the cold metal Danny's body reacted to the pressure and jolted.

"Koa stop it! _Just stop it_…please leave him be. I'll do what you want, just leave him alone okay? Please!" Sammie said tearfully.

"That's better, now hurry up, we ain't got time for this!"

The Hawaiian stroked Williams' cold flesh almost lovingly before getting back up and returning to stand before the distraught youngster.

Moistening his dry lips Sammie opened his mouth and did as he was told.

Koa really had meant it when he said they were friends once. But now he had Mano, Lupe and Ratchet on his back and he couldn't afford to be soft. It _was_ kill or be killed – his cousin was right – they had gone too far to turn back. The minute he himself had mentioned playing with the cop it was already too late.

But for now he was contented and Sam squirmed as Koa laced his tongue inside his mouth. The kid's face was one of disgust and Koa had a brief moment's worth of guilt as Sam pushed himself away and gasped for breath before dropping onto his hands and knees and throwing up everything in his stomach and dry retching; his body heaving.

Koa stumbled backwards, stunned that a simple kiss could revolt the boy so much. Sam's rejection of him made it easier to decide his next move, taking a deep breath he said, "Sammie get up."

Sam was distractedly looking at Danny Williams and didn't reply immediately. The detective was stirring and as Sammie wiped a hand over his mouth Dan opened his bright blue eyes, fused with pure agony and stared straight back at him.

In that instant Sammie saw fear and confusion before Danny cried out in pain as his nerve endings started to come back to life. The cry made the hairs on Sam's neck stand on end - it was a pitiful sound.

"_SAMMIE GET UP_! We're going!" Koa ordered quickly, staring at Williams in panic. Grabbing the young man by his t-shirt he lifted him to his feet.

"But…he's awake! Koa we _can't_ leave him here!" Sam said and pointed to Danny.

"Well that's where you're wrong my friend. Aloha Williams, it's been _great_!" Koa said and turning the gun on Danny - he shot him.

Sammie screamed.

Danny jerked upwards from the force of the impact, then gasped once and lay still.

Suddenly a tornado hit Koa square in the chest. Arms flailing and fists punching the shorter man flung himself bodily at the taller one, the gun still smoking. They went down on the ground, rolling around on the cane stalks as they fought and Koa lost his grip on Danny's weapon. It slid under some leaves and out of sight.

"YOU BASTARD, YOU _BASTARD_!!!" Sammie screamed over and over as he punched and kicked his former friend.

"Get off me! You crazy kanaka – GET _OFF_ ME SAMMIE!" Koa shouted as he lay back on the ground. He tried to grab Sam's wrists but the boy was too quick and he felt the blows raining down on him. For a slender man, Sammie packed a punch.

"OUCH! Get off!"

"_Why_? Why did you kill him you bastard! He was waking up! Look what you've done!!" Sam said and started to cry, his punches getting weaker as the emotions overtook him and he began to fight ineffectually.

This time Koa succeeded in grabbing his wrists and he pulled Sam's arms apart, holding the writhing man just above his chest. Sammy's tears dropped onto Koa as he tried to understand what had just happened.

"You _promised_ me! You said if I kissed you we could leave him be! Why oh _why_ did you have to shoot him!? He never did anything to you! You've killed him…you've killed a cop!"

"Shut up Sammie and listen to me!"

Sam struggled more and Koa tightened his grip, bruising the kid's wrists as he did so. The young man was sobbing his heart out, the tension from the day becoming too much for him.

As Sam was wracked by raw emotion, Koa found himself pulling the younger man down onto his chest and soothing him, "Sshh sshh Sammie, it's okay! Just let it go." He released one wrist and brought his hand around to stroke the back of Sam's head, caught up in the moment as he felt sorry for the anguish he had caused. He had very little choice in the matter, or so he made himself believe.

Unable to stop himself from crying, Sam lay there briefly; all the horrifying images of the day whirling around his mind, culminating in Danny's cry of pain as he awoke and then the terrible reverberating sound of a gunshot. He wanted it to stop, he wanted to run as far away as possible and never look back.

"There there, it'll be okay." Koa said as though he were comforting a child instead of an adult.

Through his tears, Sam gradually became aware of what he was doing and the ridiculous position he was in, he felt Koa's hand gently stroking the back of his head and the man's almost lullaby tone as he told him everything would be alright. But he also recalled the islander's ease at shooting the cop and realized the danger of the situation.

Sniffing, he casually leaned up off the man's chest and without hesitation kneed Koa as hard as he could in the groin.

The Hawaiian yelped and released Sam's other wrist to cup himself protectively; the pain excruciating.

"NO Koa you're _wrong_ – it _won't_ be okay!! It will never be okay again!" Sam hissed as he leaped to his feet and ran back over to where Danny lay. He was scared to look but he knew he had to.

Blood was leaking out of a wound in Danny's stomach and running down his naked flesh onto the ground, his eyes were closed and he was a pale as a ghost. Sam crouched down and felt the side of the detective's neck, praying that the man was still alive. After a little searching he found a faint but tell-tale beat against his fingertips and he sighed with relief.

Making sure that Koa was still distracted, Sammie peeled his t-shirt off and bunched it up against the bullet hole, trying to stem the flow of blood but he knew it would be impossible. There was no way he could get the cop back to the car on his own without causing Williams more damage and no way that Koa would do anything but leave him there to die so he would just have to improvise and get help some other way.

Sam knew from when his father had once been stabbed that he had to maintain pressure on the wound but there was no way he could. With Williams unconscious there would be no one to stop his life's blood from leaking out of him whilst he went for help. He needed to hurry and get away from Koa so he could call the person Williams had begged for during his assault. He had to find Steve McGarrett.

Just when he thought it couldn't get any worse, the heavens opened up and the first crisp drops of rain started to fall swiftly followed by a sudden tumult so heavy it washed the now ineffectual t-shirt off Danny's stomach, rivulets of blood mingled with the water and turned green leaves scarlet. The noise was horrendous as it beat against the cane like a thousand tiny drums.

Koa was calling to Sam through the curtain of water and he knew he had to go. Patting Danny on the leg Sammie whispered to the comatose man, "I'm going to get you help, you hang on. Stay alive Mr Williams, just stay alive and I'll find your Steve for you, I _promise_!"

"Sam you little _wretch_ get back here, we have to get going!" Koa shouted across the noise. He was on his feet now and finding it hard to stand on the slippery leaves as rain washed between them like a gully.

He knew he needed to find the gun and wipe his prints off but seeing anything in the shower was practically impossible.

On the ridge behind them a bolt of lightning lit up the dark sky with a fizz and crackle and a few seconds later an ominous boom of thunder echoed overhead. The storm was almost above them.

Koa cursed and kicked a few leaves around, in the faint hope he might locate the weapon but nothing came to light. The weather looked like it was set to stay and there wasn't a great deal of daylight left anyway. He decided that he would come back the next day, when hopefully he would have a better chance.

Sammie walked slowly back to Koa, unsure of the reception he would get after his outburst and kicking the Hawaiian but the rain had turned the tide on Koa's anger and all the man could think about was getting back to the car.

"Come on kid, let's get out of da rain. Where's your T-shirt?"

Sam was covered in goose flesh and he shivered from the water running down his naked back and chest and all that he had been through. He was soaking wet, as was Koa, but even the clean rainwater couldn't make him feel clean. He didn't bother to reply and as the torrential downpour increased Koa didn't seem to care all that much either.

Getting back to the car was a task in itself. Many times they slipped on the vegetation and had to hold each other up. Both were fed up and tired and wanted to get return to some semblance of normality.

Koa felt his job was done and that his cousins would be pleased with him. He wasn't so sure about Sammie and thought back to what Mano had told him to do. Technically the kid hadn't taken part in the cop's killing but then perhaps Mano didn't need to know that.

And somewhere in the back of his disturbed mind Koa thought that maybe if he promised Sammie he would keep quiet about his lack of co-operation there might be a reward in it for him – something that the now adult Sam could give that he would never have approached the boy for.

There was, after all, a price for everything.


	6. What Has Been Lost Can Never Be Found

CHAPTER 6 – What Has Been Lost Can Never Be Found

Chin Ho rushed into Steve McGarrett's office without ceremony, the news he had to bear would wait for nothing.

"Steve they've found Danny's car!"

McGarrett dropped what he was doing and stood up, his whole body tensing. "Where Chin? What about Danno!?"

The oriental detective shook his head sadly, "Not sure if Danny was in there. Steve – looks like the car went off a cliff!"

A tight knot formed in Steve's gut and he felt the blood drain from his head, for a moment he was unable to do much more than breathe.

"The helicopter spotted it around a half hour ago, near Koko Head."

"Koko Head? That can't be right – Danno was headed west! How can you be sure it's his?" Faint hope pierced the dark.

"I wish I could tell you it wasn't Steve, but the Coast Guard confirms the sighting and the plates are Danno's." Chin felt like a member of his family was lying out there on a ledge. "I'm _so_ sorry." He added when he saw the crestfallen look on McGarrett's face. The Five-0 chief had lost every molecule of color in his cheeks, he suddenly looked ten years older and very vulnerable.

Steve shook his head in denial, and snapped his fingers - trying to convince himself as much as the other man, "Well don't be sorry just yet my friend, perhaps Danno's not in the car, there could be a hundred different possibilities. But if he's not, and I pray to God he isn't, then we have ourselves another problem on our hands! I want to be there when they hoist it up. Let's get going." He grabbed his jacket and ushered the other man out.

On his way he instructed Jenny to get Che Fong and a team down to the crash site. He didn't let her or the others know it was Danny's automobile they had found; he couldn't cope with the questions just yet or the sadness in Jenny's eyes. He doubted if he ever could.

*******

Rain was lashing the cliff face so hard it was almost suicidal rappelling down the rocks to the wreck below but the search and rescue men did just that, aware of the importance of the driver. The first thing they checked upon reaching the battered vehicle was for occupants and through a haze of moisture McGarrett saw an oilskin-clad head shake, indicating no one was injured or dead in the car. It was the first time Steve allowed himself a proper breath and his heart beat slower.

Attaching a line to the remnants of Dan Williams' battered vehicle they made it ready for the hoist to bring it up to the roadside and slowly, but surely, they pulled it back from the brink.

An ambulance had been standing by but was no longer required and in the gloom Steve watched it disappear, relieved beyond belief that it held no cargo. No one could have lived through the accident. If indeed Danny hadn't gone over the side first. That was something he didn't want to consider either. Divers would check but with the pull of the current in that area it was likely a body would never be found - _Danno_ would never be found.

With difficulty and heavy hearts they got to work checking to see what they could find from the wreck.

The doors were unlocked but the driver's side was so badly crushed it was impossible to open. Without waiting for Che, Steve managed to get the passenger side open with the help of a crowbar and some determined muscle. He needed to know what had happened to Danno but what he saw inside sent a rush of panic through him. Lying on the floor at the back was some clothing he recognized immediately. It was a pair of Danny's suit pants. Careful not to disturb any evidence he sifted the pants with the crowbar and noticed underpants and buried inside Dan's gold shield. What it all meant he dreaded to think.

Nothing more; no blood that he could see or damage to the inside of the car and at a quick glance no weapon either. Which meant either Danny had the gun with him still or someone else did. But half his clothes missing…that was something Steve couldn't explain, and wasn't sure he wanted to.

"Che, take a look!" McGarrett said with a sigh and leaned back out of the car for the forensic scientist to take over.

Behind him Chin Ho was looking anxiously at Steve and Kono came over to see what his boss had found. Neither man dared to speak, it was all they could do to stop themselves from taking over from McGarrett.

Che and the others worked diligently, bagging evidence and taking everything away to the lab for further examination. All in all the car didn't yield much information at the scene, they would have to wait patiently for the results of Che's analysis.

There was a pall hanging over the soaked Five-0 team, as big as the storm above them and the afternoon was fast drawing to a close, with nothing more to go on than a pile of inexplicable clothing and Danny Williams' badge.

"_Where are you Danno? Where are you my friend."_ Steve whispered as he looked out across the boiling ocean.

There was always the chance that Danny had fallen out of the car as it nose dived towards the sea but not one man gave voice to that opinion, they just accepted the divers that started to search around the dangerous waters of the cove below and kept faith with their friend that he was still alive.

No one wanted to believe he was gone.

******

Koa continually tapped the wheel of his car. It was a nervous habit and one that he hadn't done for a very long time but he figured today was a day he would allow himself some indulgence. At the same time Sammie was biting his nails; each man an island; both with their insecurities.

Sam had refused to look at him when they finally got inside. They relished the warm interior of the car as their soaked bodies started to dry but said nothing. In truth Koa was just as stunned by his actions as the younger man had been. He had never fired a gun at anyone before. His ability to do so scared the hell out of him but what scared him more was that he felt nothing - no emotion from killing the cop barring the loss of a good male body. He started to shiver and belatedly realized he was in shock.

Sam tapped his watch – it had stopped working; soaked through with water and he couldn't check how long it took to get back from the spot where they dumped Williams to the entrance of the cane plantation. He had to rely on his memory and on the way back to town he looked carefully for clues as to where they were. It was confusing in the rain and he couldn't keep much of a track of either time or place but he had some information for the police to go on. If only he could get away from Koa.

"Are you going to talk to me kid?" Koa said finally, stirring up the courage to speak.

Sammie's jaw clenched. He found it hard to look at Koa – every time he did he thought of what the man had done and bile rose in his throat. It wasn't bad enough he had been made to participate in their sick game, he had now been made an accessory to attempted murder and goodness knew that if he didn't get help to the dying man it could well '_be'_ murder.

"What on _earth_ do you expect me to say to you?" He said grumpily.

"I dunno, something - anything. It's unnerving you sitting there staring at me and not saying a word. Man you _know_ I had to do it!"

Sammie turned fully in his seat to stare in surprise at the man he used to call family.

"No you didn't! You didn't _HAVE_ to do any of it. You could have stopped yourselves – all of you. Why didn't you just knock him out and leave? How did it get to this Koa? Eh? How could you have done such a cruel and heartless thing to another human being? I don't get it…I just don't get it! Is getting your rocks off so fucking important you're willing to risk your lives for it – _OUR_ lives!?"

Koa puffed his cheeks out and slowed down, finding it hard to concentrate on driving and thinking at the same time, especially when much of what the kid said made sense. He still wasn't sure what Sammie was going to do and it worried him.

"Listen Sam, you don't understand. Sure _I_ enjoyed it, that's my persuasion but for them it wasn't sex, it was dominance. You may have been running with us for years but you never understood what we are. Yeah we steal, but we work for a living too man. No one gave us an easy break, we took it all. Mano and Ratchet – they made it seem easy you know bruddah? They run da show and we do what they want, that way we all make a tidy profit and get to live a little. So when they say jump, you say `how high?' You don't piss them off or you get what's coming to you. I wasn't joking when I said Mano wanted me to off you too. I'm not even sure how I'm going to explain this all to them! _SHIT_!" He exclaimed suddenly, slapping the wheel with both hands before pulling the car to a screeching halt at the side of the road making Sam jump.

Koa grabbed him by the hair and half an ear and held on tightly.

"_Crap Koa what the_…!"

"Okay little man, you need to hear this. I am going to lie for you. If I don't there is a very, very good chance you won't live to make your next birthday you understand me?"

"You're _hurting_ me!"

"I don't give a _damn_! Facts are facts Sammie boy – you brought da fuzz down on us with your stupid stunt and we just saved your hide and I'm telling you I'm gonna save it again for you. If I don't tell Mano and da others that you had a hand in shooting that cop they will see to it you _never_ talk. You dig? I know you're freaked out by everything and truth is so am I but you need to get something _real_ clear, _right_ now…if we hadn't done what we did you would be in jail right about now along with da rest of us. So where are you loyalties Sam?"

"Let go of me." Sammie said coldly and the hard look in his eyes made Koa do just that. "I get what you're saying and despite what you put me through part of me is grateful that you're willing to lie for me! I think you're all _very_ wrong but I won't do anything to lead the cops to you, that I promise."

Koa cocked his head on one side, unsure whether he was hearing what Sammie was really saying. There seemed to be a hidden meaning in it somewhere but he was too exhausted to fathom it. He decided to take the young man at face value.

He touched Sam's thigh and the boy nearly hit the roof. Koa laughed. "Man you're so _jumpy_! You think I'm gonna jump your bones you have it wrong Sammie – I'm too tired for that, I couldn't salute Kamehameha if he was sitting beside you. Of course it don't mean I can't think about your mouth on mine though." He smirked and Sam barely restrained himself from punching the kanaka. Instead he found himself thinking of a plan to get away.

Koa pulled the car back into the lane and as he carried on driving his fingers went back to tapping.

"So are we going back to the old place?" Sammie asked after a while and with more composure than he felt.

"Yeah but don't worry, I'll explain everything but you have to support my story or it won't work. Okay?"

Sammie nodded but Koa couldn't see for driving.

"Did I hear you say `yes' boy?"

"Yes Koa, _okay_?!"

"Hey a little thanks here wouldn't go amiss since I'm laying it on da line for you brah."

But Sammie wasn't inclined to thank anyone right then, he was too busy watching the busy intersection they were turning into and the traffic lights up ahead. He closed his eyes, prayed to the Lord that the lights would turn red and grasped the door handle.

The one good piece of luck he had all day was just turning from amber to red. He held onto the handle tightly and waited as long as he dared. As predicted, cars began to halt behind theirs and just as the lights turned from red to green and Koa put his foot on the accelerator, Sam opened the door and jumped out, door swinging. He almost twisted an ankle but managed to turn out of the fall and ran into some nearby bushes. There was a screech of brakes and a crunch of metal and glass as Koa stopped abruptly and cars went into him from behind.

As Sam ran he heard voices raised in anger and Koa's colorful swearing.

He kept on going, not turning around to see if he was being followed and praying that the heavy rain would deter the Hawaiian from giving chase. He ran as far and as fast as he could, his whole being focused on finding a phone booth. As yet he was too far away from houses so he kept on going, his mind repeating his promise to Danny Williams as he lay gravely wounded in the neglected plantation. He _must_ find McGarrett.

******

Steve looked pale as he strode into Che Fong's lab and stood behind the scientist as the man toyed with the microscope before him.

Che had called McGarrett down to see him and warned the Chief that he might not like what he had to say. That sent Steve running.

Unable to bear the silence any longer, McGarrett cleared his throat and the small oriental man turned to him, frowning.

"Hi Steve, just one moment while I check this slide."

McGarrett found his patience slipping, "You said I wouldn't like what you've found Che, what gives?"

Che sighed and looked up from his work, small lips pursing. "We're still checking Danny's car but there was no tampering and no faults that we could see. Brakes worked fine. Looks like it was deliberately sent off the edge Steve."

"Any sign of other vehicles up there?"

Che shook his head, "Not right at the cliff face and there are no paint flecks on the bumper but that doesn't mean anything, another car could have parked where our vehicles drove up there."

"Which means we destroyed any evidence,"

"Exactly."

"So either Danno was driving it or someone else was and then what? Hitchhiked back? That doesn't make sense!"

Che shrugged, "Not my department, I just deal in facts – I leave it to you to sort out the supposition."

"Okay so what else have you got for me?"

"Well now comes the hard part. I checked Danny's clothing and all I could find was grease."

"Grease? What kind of grease?"

"The kind you find in a vehicle, oil spillages that sort of thing. Definitely automobile grade but nothing more specific than that until I test."

Steve's eyes narrowed suspecting more than Che was telling him, "You said hard part…?"

"Yes Steve, Danny's badge. There was a sticky substance on the metal." Che paused, finding it uncharacteristically difficult to speak to McGarrett.

"Go on."

He plunged on, "The substance was seminal fluid; dried semen."

McGarrett's eyes widened in surprise, of all the things he expected he wasn't sure that was one of them. He had to ask the question, "Danno's?"

"Negative, blood type doesn't match. We didn't find any on his clothing, other than what seemed to have rubbed off in the car however we did find prints all over the car and his badge. There was also a partial…on Danny's pants button."

Eyes wide, Steve reached in front of him and held onto the table for support, attempting to digest what he was hearing, part of his mind blocking out what he was listening to. Filtering it to take out the personal element. He had to remain composed. "Have you ID'd the prints yet?"

"We're trying to run a match now but it wasn't just one set. Steve there were five."

"_Five_." McGarrett repeated and felt sick. "So…assuming one set is Danno's that's four against _one_ man!?"

Che nodded very slowly, "Whatever happened to Danny, four people were involved and at a guess from the size of the prints I'd say they were male."

"And the residue…the semen…what are we talking about here? Someone jacking off on a cop's badge? A joke? What?"

Che looked sympathetic, he liked Williams as much as anyone on the force, maybe even more from the hours spent together on cases and he hated to break bad news to McGarrett about his friend and second-in-command but he was, after all, a scientist and telling people what he had discovered was what he did. He couldn't hold out on the Five-0 Chief. "I hate to say this but there was also a minute amount of blood mixed in with it Steve – it's not much but it's Danny's."

A strangled cry escaped from McGarrett's lips, he wasn't so green that he couldn't put two and two together and he almost fell back into a filing cabinet as he backed away from the lab table as though a scorpion had bitten him.

Completely silent, Steve pushed himself off the metal cabinet and managed to walk around the door into the corridor beyond, unable and unwilling to let go in front of a work colleague. He knew what that pronouncement meant as much as Che did. There was no way a combination of Danny's blood and semen would get there without assault being involved. Now his mind was in complete turmoil. The rain was beating down outside the windows, Danny Williams was missing, possibly dead and on top of everything else his best friend had been sexually assaulted.

As if to seal his fate a loud clap of thunder boomed above the building and Steve found himself running away from the lab and outside into the downpour. If Danno was still alive he would find him and if he was dead he would revenge him. Either way whoever was involved would find themselves up against a man _so_ angry and hurt that they would rue the day they messed with someone close to him.

If McGarrett was just a man he would make them pay for every hair damaged on Danny Williams' body, as a cop he prayed that justice would prevail.

Steve raised his eyes to the clouds and let the fresh cascade of water wash away his tears.

*******

Near Pearl Ridge in a forgotten field Danny Williams lay dying. Water washed the lifeblood from his half-naked body too and cleansed what it could but the insensible man knew nothing of the storm or the rain or the rustle of leaves as the day was coming to a close and the nocturnal animals were waiting for darkness.

Beady eyes would soon be upon him and then he would no longer be a detective – he would be scavenger food.

****

(Author's note: dear readers, feedback fuels fingers – want any more?)


	7. The Prodigal Son

CHAPTER 7: The Prodigal Son

Sammie stood on the sidewalk and bent over, grabbing his knees and trying to get the breath back into his lungs. He felt he had been running forever but it had been worth it for across the other side of the road was the welcoming sight of a telephone booth.

Checking his pocket for the umpteenth time to make sure the dime was still in place, he raced across the road and picked up the handset to dial.

"Come on, come on…answer _dammit_!" He anxiously tapped his foot as the phone rang.

At last it was answered.

"Hello I need to speak to Steve McGarrett it's _urgent_! No he doesn't know me and I won't give him a name. Look tell him it's an emergency. It's about something he's lost!"

That did it. Dispatch put a call through to McGarrett's office straight away and Steve answered, bleary eyed and weary from the day. "This is McGarrett."

"Oh thank god!"

"Who is this please?" Steve replied warily.

"Never mind who I am. Look I think you may have lost something important to you."

Immediately Steve's mind was racing but concentrating fully on the caller. He switched the tape recorder to record and motioned for Kono, who was standing in the room with him, to get a trace on the line. "Can you explain that?"

"Mr Williams! He's missing right?"

"Perhaps."

"Look mister I don't have time for this and neither does he. You need to get there quick. He's in a cane plantation – I dunno the name so don't ask. Ai..something. I can give you some quick directions but don't know exactly."

"Why should I believe you?" McGarrett asked, trying to stall for time whilst the trace went through.

"I have one dime only. Do you want to waste it asking dumb questions or listen?"

Silence.

"Look he asked for you!"

That brought a lump to Steve's throat and a hope that Danny was still alive.

"Okay I'm listening."

Sammie gave McGarrett as much information as he could detailing what he had seen earlier that day at the entrance to the abandoned fields and the approximate location of Williams. He neglected to say that Danny had been shot but the implications were clear; get there and get there _fast_.

"What's your part in all this?" Steve asked and when there was no answer he pressed for a name but got nothing more.

With a simple "I'm sorry." the phone went dead.

Kono nodded after the line went down, they'd got a trace on the phone but Steve was less concerned with the informant than his partner. He called Kelly in.

"Get Duke and HPD out to that booth Kono, I want that caller brought in. He sounded like a nervous young man but other than that your guess is as good as mine as to his identity. In the meantime we have more important things to do." Steve walked swiftly to the map of Oahu on his board. "Chin, I want the chopper redirected to cover this area."

"For Danno boss?" The detective asked, somewhat in the dark but aware something significant had just happened.

Steve nodded, "We just got a call from an informer telling us roughly where he is, the location isn't precise which is why we have to get everyone back out there searching. It's an abandoned sugar cane plantation somewhere in this area; the caller said Danno was there and I have rough directions but he didn't know which plantation. Just that it began with the initials A and I."

Kono looked up in surprise. "Somewhere here?" He asked, pointing southwest of Honolulu.

"Yes, why – do you know the place?" Steve asked, hope written on his face.

"Sure do boss. My cousins worked out at the old Aiea plantation. Hawaiian Sugar Planters Association – sure that _must_ be it! Much of it is military land now Steve and it's acres big. That's a whole lotta ground to cover!"

McGarrett didn't dare hope that he had found his second-in-command but he allowed himself the luxury of a small curled smile at their good fortune, "Well thank goodness for your cousins! Hopefully the directions will help us. We may need search lights, it will be getting dark soon so I want dogs out there with us too. Chin, run down to the lab and see if Che has finished with Danno's clothing, we'll take that with us for the dogs to pick up his scent. Most importantly I want an ambulance to follow and Queen's hospital on stand by. The kid indicated that Danno's hurt and I'm taking no chances. Let's get going!"

******

After he came off the phone Sammie felt like a huge weight of responsibility had been lifted from his shoulders but he also knew that he was a wanted man. After Koa got back to Mano and the others he wouldn't be able to set foot in their territory again and now that he had called the police they would be on the lookout for him too. His only consolation was that they didn't know his identity.

But Mano did and he, Lupe, Ratchet and Koa would be after his blood now.

He was in deep pilikia. He had no place to go, no money, no hope and not even the shirt on his back. He had literally spent his last dime on saving the enemy.

Knees shaking from running so hard and cold soaking through his skin, Sammie sank to the ground, the sopping wet and stinking phone booth floor the least of his worries. He drew his knees up to his stomach and put his head in his hands.

"_What have I done_!?" He uttered in a strangled sob and started to cry, the sound drowned out by the heavy rain pelting onto the roof above him.

*******

Dark and brooding volcanic mountains overlooked the plantation on its northern perimeter but they cast no shadow on this cloud-covered day. As the rain continued and the afternoon began to fade into evening, phosphorescent lightning arced through the air and struck an unsuspecting tree, renting it in two with a crack and fizzle before the associated thunder reverberated deep in the valley below.

Irrigation channels, blocked by vegetation were filled to overflowing and the overspill of water crept into the fields, drowning the roots of the cane as it went; the hard-packed soil unable to stand the sudden influx of moisture.

Danny Williams lay broken in a sodden, earthy depression, the rain had already begun to float the crushed leaves, pooling the slowly leaking blood around his body like a crimson halo. After the brief second of awareness before being shot he hadn't regained consciousness and his system was going into shock from the loss of blood and abuse. He was dying by degrees; the wound to his stomach a slow and painful killer without medical attention.

Now that darkness was almost upon him, the plantation was waking up and fur-covered bodies ran out of their hiding places in panic as the unusually torrential rain flooded their nests. Stress-filled squeaks accompanied the thunder and the persistent drumming of drops on leaves. As was their habit, small, whiskered noses scented the air in search of food and agile claws gripped the slippery stalks as rats scurried through the undergrowth, hunting for a meal, tails lashing like whips.

One such creature boldly approached the injured man and sniffed around his feet, scenting blood. It crawled across one of the detective's leather shoes, and tested out a shoelace, nibbling its way down the tied lace before digging its sharp teeth into the softened leather and biting down.

Before long the brave rodent was joined by another pair of wet rats. A noisy fight broke out between a newcomer and the rat protecting its food source and they rolled over each other squealing as they plopped into a puddle - fighting and splashing for control of their territory. Ignoring the squabble, the third rat climbed onto Danny's leg and sniffed out the wound on his calf. Like the rodent before him it too began its meal - only this time it was Williams' flesh.

******

Minutes later the light beneath a search and rescue helicopter beamed brightly across swards of greenery, the trained spotter in the chopper searching for any sign of a body as they flew low and swift, making the leaves bend and rustle in their wake. The rain had all but passed and it was almost dark as the last remaining drops were illuminated by the search light like fire flies as it broke through their dwindling cascade.

On the ground, torch in hand, a frantic McGarrett, Kelly and Kalakua led teams of men and sniffer dogs; all searching the area that Sammie had described whilst being careful not to twist an ankle or fall into a gully in the darkness. Their shoes were caked with mud, pants soaked to the thighs and water trickled down their backs making movement uncomfortable. But not one man complained.

Steve couldn't recall a time when he was more up tight about anything or any one, he knew they were against the clock, whatever had happened to Danny it was a race to find him. Steve also held onto a secret – that Danno had been sexually assaulted and regardless of his other injuries that alone was enough to galvanize him into action. He was desperate and his heart was breaking.

He wouldn't rest until he found his partner and dearest friend. He just hoped it wasn't too late.

Behind him someone shrieked, making the dogs bark in confusion. It was an HPD officer. All eyes and torches turned to see what the commotion was all about only to find an embarrassed officer desperately shaking what looked to be a rat off his pant leg. As Steve turned back to the fields he suddenly saw them; dozens of the things like black shadows vanishing as the beams illuminated them and their eyes glinted in the brightness before they darted under cover and were gone.

He plunged on, checking his watch to see if he was close to the timing that the caller had said was roughly where Danny had been left. Everyone was in a line, all walking steadily towards the same spot, whining dogs ahead straining on leashes, their warm breath gushing into the air as they tried to pick up Dan's scent but the rain made it almost impossible and their frustration was as palpable of that of their human handlers.

It was heavy going and so far they had turned up a big fat zero. They were just grateful the rain had eased off.

The helicopter circled noisily overhead again, the searchlight cutting a swathe across the field before turning and coming back.

Steve saw it hover over something and his heart started hammering, but as quickly as his hopes were up so they were dashed again as the chopper continued onwards.

He thought of calling out to Danny but realized it was pointless; the noise they were all making together with the sound of rotor blades would have alerted Danny already if he had been conscious and able to speak. That worried Steve even more.

Suddenly, a good one hundred yards or so from his own position, he heard a cry go up followed by others close by. Heedless of the dangerous terrain McGarrett started running, hampered by the tough stalks but beating them down as best he could. He was joined by Kono and Chin as all three men rushed towards the sound, their feet mashing the decomposing cane as they slipped and slid toward their destination.

The helicopter pilot, on seeing the conflagration of torch lights, swung around to their position and illuminated what the officer had seen.

It was Danny Williams.

As Steve came closer to the scene, he heard the sound of someone being sick. It was the officer who had found Danny and it frightened the Five-0 chief to think that the sight was enough to make the man ill.

McGarrett's palms were sweating, his heart was pounding and his throat was dry. As he approached, he said a silent prayer that his friend was alive.

No one had touched Danny and as Steve and Chin came close enough to see him they gasped involuntarily.

The chopper hovered around them, giving them a circle of light to see by; a morbid stage-show spotlight on what could very well have been a funeral. What they saw made their hearts go out to their colleague and friend.

Lying in a muddy pool a barely recognizable Danny was half naked, bloody and bruised from head to foot, several rats had been sitting around the open wounds on his body and they hastily scurried away as the men came closer. He looked like a mass of purple and red and was paler than a sheet under the harsh lighting. The raindrops washed away rich blood from the bullet wound on his stomach turning it into pink rivulets that mingled with the soil beneath him.

Steve swiftly peeled off his raincoat and covered his second-in-command's body as Kono radioed urgently for the ambulance to follow to their position.

Officers surrounded the Five-0 men as McGarrett knelt down in Danny's blood, lifted his head gently onto his lap and palpated the wounded man's neck for a pulse. _Nothing_. He tried again, again nothing. The third time he was more successful and to his immense relief he found the faintest of beats. The few seconds in between were the longest of his life as the worst possible outcome ripped destructively through his mind.

"He's alive. Just." Steve said in amazement and felt like crying. They had found Danno, but now came the hard part.

******

"We've got you Danno. It's Steve. You're _safe_ now."

"He can't hear you boss." Kono said unnecessarily.

"_I know that_! Let's get those damned handcuffs off him!!" McGarrett growled through tear-filled eyes.

Kalakua joined his boss in the mud and as Steve gently rolled Danny onto his side Kono got the keys to unlock the cuffs and shook his head sorrowfully as he noticed the bloody wrists and odd angle that one of them was bent at.

"Auwe! He's got a broken wrist Steve! Man they did a number on him."

One more reason to hate the animals that did this, McGarrett thought to himself. "Careful of prints, we need to catch these bastards!"

Using his handkerchief, Kono eased the handcuffs off as carefully as he could, dreading the thought that he might be adding to the mountain of pain Danny would be in when he came back to the world. _If he came back_.

He tucked the cuffs into his jacket pocket then added his own raincoat to Steve's, needing to do something to ease his fellow officer's suffering. Williams was his brother in spirit and his pain was like his own.

Steve stared at the big Hawaiian. "He's in a bad way, let's meet the ambulance."

Knowing that every minute counted, he and Kono lifted Danny between them, taking care not to jostle him. Chin moved in, two hands supporting Dan's back underneath and together the three of them began moving their friend back through the field accompanied by torch beams and curious eyes.

Bedraggled volunteers and officers stepped aside almost reverently as the trio carefully retraced their steps and moved towards the oncoming headlights of the ambulance.

Even the dogs had gone quiet. The silence was deafening.

As the ambulance men took over their charge and laid Danny out on a stretcher they administered to him as best they could, shaking their heads as they saw the state he was in. Steve found it hard to take his hand off Dan's arm, needing the contact and withering inside with the knowledge he bore.

"How is he?" Kono asked the senior ambulance man as he worked on his friend.

"Very weak. It's anybody's guess but we will do our best."

"All anyone can ask for bruddah. You keep him safe you hear?" Kalakua's fingertips brushed over Dan's arm briefly as they lifted him into the back of the vehicle.

Unable to go with Danny, McGarrett's focus never left his friend until the doors had closed and they began the trip to Emergency. When the helicopter flew over head, the abrupt noise startled him out of his reverie. He turned to his men, "We need to secure the scene and make sure this whole area is combed for evidence. I want every single leaf turned over and I want to know what you find. I'm going to follow the ambulance in."

"You okay Steve?" Chin asked knowingly as he placed a gentle hand on McGarrett's shoulder.

Steve tensed, his face a livid mask, "No. No I'm _not_ okay! I _will_ get the men who did this to Danno and when I do so help me I want to squeeze the life out of them with my bare hands!!"

If either man was shocked by their boss' sentiments they didn't show it; in truth both felt the same.

"Go with Danno, we'll sort everything out here. Let us know how he is."

"Mahalo Kono, I will. When you're done here all of you get some rest. I have a feeling we're not going to have that luxury for some time to come. I'd better get going in case he needs me."

"Okay boss. Keep the faith; Danny is strong."

Steve nodded, clapped both men on their shoulders, nodded thanks to the other officers and started for his car.

As he jogged back across the plantation the image of Danny dying in the dirt replayed over and over again.

He picked up speed.

*******


	8. Truth Nothing But The Truth So Help Him

CHAPTER 8: The Truth and Nothing But The Truth So Help Him

Panting from exertion McGarrett finally reached his car, the sound of dogs and voices of men far in the background. Night crowded around him, blending with darker thoughts and the image of Danny lying discarded in the rain, rats scuttling over him, was stark and vivid. No matter how long he lived Steve doubted he would ever forget what he had seen that night. It would haunt his days to come.

Sighing heavily he looked back in the direction he had come and saw the pinpoint of torch lights as they swung back and forth across the cane field, the occasional glare against a disembodied face combined with the piteous howl of hounds gave the scene a ghost-like quality. It all seemed unreal. The rain had started again and he felt water trickling down the back of his shirt and seeping into his very marrow. He shivered.

He needed to get to the hospital fast but he also dreaded it. He felt like a coward but part of him was scared what he would find when he got there. If Che Fong had been right then Danny had suffered so much more than just a gunshot wound and Steve wasn't sure he could face that right now.

There was one person with whom he could entrust his suspicions, suspicions which, having seen the state of Danny's body, he was now sure were correct.

McGarrett got into his car and switched on the interior light before reaching for the radio microphone.

"This is McGarrett, I want an emergency call placed to Doctor Bergman. He could be at the hospital or at home. Get him fast for me would you?"

As Steve waited he found himself getting impatient, every minute he was away from Danno's side he felt worse. "Come on.._come on_!" He mumbled to himself as he waited for the patch. Finally the call connected.

"Doc?"

"Steve what can I do for you?"

"Are you at the hospital?"

"Yes, as a matter of fact I am. Do you need me somewhere?"

"No I need you precisely where you are. Doc – Danno's been shot!"

"How bad?" Bergman asked, concern immediately evident in his voice.

"I don't know, they're bringing him in right now, I'm following on and will be with you shortly. I want you there."

"Absolutely! I'll be waiting at Emergency for him."

Steve swallowed, not quite sure how to broach the next subject, "Doc, there's something else you need to know. Danny's been missing all day and we found..we found some evidence earlier to suggest that he may have been… sexually assaulted."

There was silence at the other end of the phone. Bergman was either stunned or leaving McGarrett to say what he had to say.

"I.._we_ think multiple times. The assailants dumped him and he's in really bad shape. As a friend I need you to do something for me – for Danno,"

Bergman felt sick but knew was required of him, "Steve you don't need to ask. I will keep his clothing for you and do the tests personally."

"Mahalo. I don't want just _anyone_ touching him and for his sake I want this kept as quiet as possible."

"Does anyone else know?"

"Besides Che and myself, no, although when he was found it was pretty clear there was a great deal of abuse of some kind, they may suspect. It's hard enough that Danno has been shot but _this_…this is too much."

"Don't worry, Danny is in safe hands, and Steve,"

"Yes?"

"We'll bring him through this." The doctor said softly.

That brought a lump to McGarrett's throat, "Yes…yes we will."

"I will see you shortly."

Steve could say no more and with a click silence reigned once again.

He stared at the radio handset for a few moments and then stealing himself for what was to come set off as fast as he could for the hospital, siren blaring even though not a soul was around.

*****

Across town a light burned in the back of a ramshackle shed connected to a house that had not been occupied for months. The house was set back from the road, it's driveway packed with overgrown plants and trees and no one went there unless on business, or mischief.

Rain was lashing against a single frosted window pane and drumming loudly on the corrugated roof, but even the storm didn't distract the occupants who were listening to their latest visitor with growing anger.

"He's _what_?!"

"Gone, Sammie's gone!" Koa parked himself dejectedly on a beaten old couch and let the damp from his sodden hair and clothes stain the faded upholstery. After Sam skipped out on him causing a minor three car pile-up, Koa had floored it and hurriedly left the scene before any of the irate drivers could take his details. He drove around the area searching for any sign of the young man, doubling back on himself and exploring on foot in the area he has last seen the kid but all he succeeded in doing was to get himself soaking wet and frustrated.

Now Koa was back in the old workshop and having to admit his defeat to his equally irate cousins. Bad enough they'd had to move their entire operation because of Sammie, now they had to worry about the kid going to the cops.

"Well that's just _great_!" Mano said angrily as he ran a hand through his thick, salt-speckled curls. "How da _fuck_ did you let him get away?"

"Look fullahs, much as you want to make me, I'm _not_ responsible for this cock-up! I've done more than my fair share in this. After I shot da pig da kid was upset, he ran out - what's to tell?"

"Yeah and _why_ was he upset Koa?" Lupe asked suspiciously as he stepped out from the shadows. It gave the fey Hawaiian a shock, he hadn't noticed the bull-like man standing there listening.

"Oh hey Lupe, didn't see you there!" Koa wiped his sweating palms on his overalls and shifted nervously inside his own skin. "He ah…he got a shock when I topped the cop."

Lupe parked himself in front of Koa and stared down at him, the shaded light bulb above his head making his pock-marked skin look like the craters of the moon. He was menacing, and he knew it.

"Yeah? You sure you didn't do anything _else_ to upset the kid?" The Samoan accused in a sibilant whisper.

"No!"

All faces turned towards him.

"Don't look at me like that! I swear I didn't do nothing. Look we dumped da cop then I shot him like you asked, Sammie wasn't happy and he ran. I damaged my fucking car for that boy! I also gave chase – what more do you want from me?"

From his place on the dirt-encrusted floor, Ratchet narrowed his eyes at his cousin, thinking perhaps Lupe was right to be suspicious, "So you neither touched da boy nor mentioned what would befall him if he didn't help you kill Williams?"

Koa stared at his feet for just a fraction too long. Mano strode across the room and grabbed him up by his clothing, lifting him bodily and shaking him until his teeth jarred.

"Hey Mano _stop_!"

"_You pupule ass_! You told him we'd kill him didn't you? No wonder da kid ran! You can't even be trusted to do one thing. _SHIT_!"

"It wasn't like that! He said he would never do anything to hurt us!"

"So you what…let him go if he gave you head or something?" Lupe asked.

Koa gulped, recognizing a partial truth, "No…no he bailed on me I swear, but he said he'd _never_ lead da cops to us."

"And you believe him even after he _ran_?" Mano let him down so fast his ankle gave out under him and Koa fell back onto the couch.

"I don't know what to believe any more!" Koa replied dejectedly as he sat back up and sniffed, wiping the back of a hand across his damp nose.

"Well that's da first sensible thing you've said all day!"

"So now what do we do?" Lupe asked as he kicked a rusty paint pot in frustration making it clatter loudly in the small space.

"We go get Sammie." Ratchet replied with a smile.

"Tonight? In _this_ weather? Are you _crazy_ man?"

"Koa's right Ratch, we'll never find da kid tonight. He's gone to ground somewhere and in this weather it's a waste of time. From what you told us looks like da pig's body won't be found for a while so we have some leeway. Sammie can't hold out for long, at some point he's going to cross our paths and when he does," Mano mimed strangling the young man with both hands, "_He's mine_!"

******

The nurse glanced up as the entrance doors to the emergency room department slid open with a soft swoosh and the wet figure of the lead detective of Hawaii Five-0 rushed in followed by a blast of cool air that wasn't entirely atmospheric.

Pre-warned by Doctor Bergman to expect the arrival of the agitated man and having dealt with McGarrett on more than one occasion when one of his detectives had been injured, she rose quickly from her seat and moved

around her desk intercepting him as he strode towards the examination rooms. "Excuse me mister McGarrett," she said softly, grabbing the detective's wet arm and halting his incipient charge through the emergency department, "Detective Williams has already been taken to surgery. Doctor Bergman has left instructions to ask you to please wait in the waiting room and that he will give you a full report on his condition as soon as he can." She continued as she firmly guided him to the small secluded room away from other distraught relatives and friends waiting for word on their own sick or injured.

"He's in surgery _already_?" Steve gasped, alarmed that Bergman had not stabilized the young detective in the ER first, "_Oh God_! How serious are his injuries? What are his chances?"

"I'm sorry Mister McGarrett but I can't release that information. You'll have to wait to speak to Doctor Bergman about Mister Williams' injuries. Now sir, if you will just take a seat and wait, I'm sure that the doctor will be out to talk to you as soon as he is able to." The nurse answered as she led him to a chair before turning and retreating from the room stalling any more questions.

Reaching her desk, she released her breath, relieved that she had managed to escape the fiery temper and impatience that McGarrett was so famous for amongst the nursing staff.

*******

Left alone to his own devices it was some time later when Steve heard a familiar voice in the corridor and eased himself up from the hard waiting room chair. He was tired and anxious and news was a welcome relief from staring at four blank walls. Shortly after arriving an orderly had brought him a towel, courtesy of the reception nurse and he dried himself off as best he could. He looked and felt a mess with drying blood and caked mud on his damp suit. Danno's blood, he reminded himself. He didn't care what he looked like, he wanted the nightmare to be over.

Chin Ho Kelly was just asking the nurse where he could find his boss when Steve poked his head out of the door and caught his eye. "Never mind, thank you nurse I've found him."

Finding it easier to talk within the relative privacy of the waiting room McGarrett ushered Chin inside and closed the door behind them.

"Steve you look beat!"

McGarrett stared at the disheveled detective, "You don't look so hot yourself. I'm sorry I left you to it Chin. I just needed to be here with Danno."

The Chinese officer nodded, he got used to this kind of talk when his boss was upset or worried, McGarrett let his guard down when one of his colleagues was hurt; particularly _this_ colleague. "Of course. How is he?"

McGarrett shrugged, "No word yet. They took him into surgery straight away and that was over two hours ago. I didn't even get to wish him luck!" Such a small thing but for some reason it meant a lot to him.

"I'm sure Danny knows, Steve."

McGarrett sat heavily onto his recently vacated seat, "I hope so. I wouldn't want anything to happen to him - I haven't said goodbye or how sorry I am."

_Sorry about what?_ Kelly wondered. This was something new for him. Steve and Danny were close and the detective knew they worried about each other but this was morbid talk and it wasn't like McGarrett at all. He sensed something else going on but was unable to fathom quite what it was. He sat next to the Five-0 Chief and decided to change the subject.

"Kono and the others are still at the scene. We found Danny's gun and a T-shirt that could belong to his assailant, we also found the bullet. Looks like he was shot with his own weapon!"

McGarrett's face went pale.

"They're at the lab now and Che knows to get the analysis to us fast."

'Any luck with that call this afternoon?"

"Duke got to the phone booth – no sign of anyone, prints would be impossible though; too many."

"How about the coin box? The informant used a dime, there might be more chance of sorting through those. Let's get those coins dusted and the fingerprints run."

"But Steve that will take ages and may not give us anything except the prints of anyone with a record."

McGarrett grit his teeth and his voice rose in anger, "_You think I don't know that_? What else do we have? Danno is lying on an operating table with a bullet in his gut, a cracked skull and goodness knows what else injuries and we're baulking at a little leg work? If it's a one in a million chance that we find the bastards that did this to him I'm willing to take that chance so why aren't you?"

"Hey steady on Steve. I'm just telling you the odds!"

"Well don't! Just do what I ask. I want all those prints run, I want the phone dusted and I want the book on anyone with a record is that _understood_?!" McGarrett practically shouted and noted the hurt silence from his friend. Part of him felt he ought to apologize but he also needed to lash out at _someone_ for what Danny was going through. Chin just happened to be in the way. He kept quiet.

"Okay boss but don't expect quick results. I'll call back in when I can. I have to get some very tired people back on duty."

If Chin hoped to make McGarrett feel guilty it didn't work. Steve's mind was already back in the operating room with Danno.

Kelly shook his head and took his leave.

******

Leaning against the cool pane of the window, McGarrett stared out at the bright city lights that twinkled and shimmied in the darkness beyond. It seemed as though he had be there for days, staring fixedly as the world outside his own and envying it. The rain had all but stopped but it wasn't the cheerful neons of Honolulu he saw past his reflection, it was the same image; Danny's young body, half-clothed and bloody, lying in a pool of muddy water while rats gnawed on his flesh. He swallowed hard as the bile rose in the back of his throat and he pushed himself away from the glass and began to pace.

He jumped as the waiting room door opened behind him and quickly spun around as Doc entered the room and tiredly pulled the blue surgical cap he wore from his head. Bergman _wasn't_ smiling.

"How's Danno?" Steve asked anxiously as Doc headed towards the pot of lukewarm coffee that sat on the small table in the corner.

Doc waved Steve towards the chairs as he poured himself a mug of the brown sludge-like liquid, taking a sip and grimacing before adding several teaspoons of sugar. Satisfied the cold coffee was sweet enough to get him through the next several hours he turned back to where McGarrett sat waiting anxiously for his report of his best friend's condition; long, thin hands twisting around each other.

"_Doc_?" Steve almost pleaded, growing nervous of the coroner's obvious hesitation to update him on Danny's condition.

"He's alive." Doc answered quietly as he sat down with a exhausted groan on the chair opposite the detective. Taking a deep breath to calm his own tumultuous emotions, Bergman glanced down into the mug before he looked back up at the steely blue eyes watching him. "The bullet was a through and through, missing all the vital organs but still serious. X-rays show that there is a hairline fracture of his skull, he appears to have been struck on the head with some type of heavy blunt instrument - we are watching him closely for any signs of swelling or intracranial bleeding. As for the sexual assault Steve, I'm afraid that you were correct. He's bruised and swollen; we had to surgically repair several tears in his bowel and he has contusions and a vicious bite on his back. I have sent the rape kit to the lab for Che."

"_Oh god_!" Steve murmured horrified at the brutality of the injuries inflicted on his closest friend as Doc swallowed hard and forced himself to continue.

"Sadly that's not all; we also had to clean and repair a jagged cut to his calf as well as some animal bites and he sustained a nasty fractured right wrist which we have reset and placed in a cast." Doc paused again and shook his head. "We lost him on the table for a few minutes but we were able to get him back. Our young friend gave us quite a scare." His voice hitched as he allowed his professional façade to slip for a moment, "Whoever did this was _brutal_ Steve. They were nothing more than a pack of wild animals – no, even animals would never do anything as sadistic or barbaric as this. The young man bit his tongue badly, probably from the pain. They tortured Danny in the worse possible way and then left him to die. I have no doubt that if you hadn't found him when you did, he would not have survived another hour. _Lord_, how could anyone _do_ this to another human being?! Steve you need to find them and stop them from ever committing such an atrocity as this again!"

Steve nodded, momentarily unable to trust his voice as his heart broke for his second-in-command; a man who was like a brother to him. He wiped his face, brushing away the tears that he never realized were trickling down the sides of his face. Biting his bottom lip, he swallowed hard and growled, "We will find them Doc, I promise! There won't be a single stone or grain of sand they will be able to hide under; even if I have to turn this island upside down and shake it until they fall out! They are not going to get away with this! What are Danno's chances?"

"If it was just the bullet wound I'd say now that we have replaced his fluids the prognosis would be very good but since there is multiple-trauma and that fracture to his skull…well Steve I just can't say. We'll know more when he comes round. But Danny's going to need a lot of careful handling when he does."

Lowering his voice, Steve asked, "Can I see him?"

Glancing at his watch, Doc nodded as he looked back up at McGarrett's pale face. "They should have him settled in recovery by now. I'll take you there but don't expect him to be awake tonight Steve, the concussion from his head injury combined with the anesthesia will probably keep him out until the morning.

"I understand." The tormented detective answered as both men rose from their seats and headed towards the door.

*******


	9. Circling The Maelstrom

CHAPTER 9: Circling the Maelstrom

Koa Lukina staggered out to his car, the verbal abuse ringing in his ears alongside the pain in his stomach where Lupe had punched him in the gut. He'd had enough of his cousins and their accusations for one night and needed to get some space between them.

Mano had pulled the Samoan off him but not before Lupe's threats had time to sink in. If Koa didn't find Sammie he was dead and there was nothing Mano or Ratchet could do to protect him. He somehow doubted whether they would, even if they could. Lupe would make good on his threats. _Dog eat dog._

In Hawaiian Koa meant `brave' or `fearless' but tonight he simply felt stupid and cowardly.

He wanted to wash the stench of the day off him as fast as possible so easing himself into his battered car he drove off, eager to get back to his apartment before drowning his sorrows.

As soon as Koa walked in the door he switched on the light, freed his hair from its restriction and shed his overalls, walking naked to the bathroom and stepping into the shower without waiting for the water to heat up. As the cool liquid poured down his body his long hair was plastered to his face and the tension eased in his muscles, washing away the sweat from the day. As it began to heat up, images floated in the droplets, pictures of a young cop, cream flesh, blood and the flash of a gun. The last was a particularly sharp recollection that ended in a jerking body and a knot in his own gut like the end of the world had just happened.

With time to reflect, Koa understood the severity of what he had done; if only he could stop thinking about the gun and the bullet entering a human being.

He bit his lip as he washed himself and resolved to seek out some company for the night. To forget or re-live – he wasn't sure which. But as the memories continued to rain down on him from the steam of the now heated waterfall he punched a fist into the wall repeatedly and whispered, _"Forgive me!"_ - over and over again.

********

Lights in hospitals always seemed to McGarrett to be one thing or another; either too bright and clinical or too low-level and impractical, gray almost as the neon strips flickered in shiny white-washed corridors.

He followed Doctor Bergman's footsteps as they walked down those very hallways and the lights glared back at him from the polystyrene ceiling tiles, these ones the too-bright kind; mocking him with their cheerful yellow glow.

His shoes squeaked every now and then and each time they did he imagined he saw a hump-backed rat scurry along in front of them. It made McGarrett shiver.

Doc was silent, knowing the Five-0 Chief well enough to realize that nothing he said could cheer the detective up in light of the severity of Danny's injuries. Truthfully Bergman didn't know _what_ to say, he was too busy trying to understand what could make fellow human beings do such a thing. As a doctor he always found it hard to understand deliberately hurting someone, but harder still when the subject of such depravity was a young and very dear friend of his.

Bergman had told the truth when he said they had nearly lost Williams on the operating table, it had been touch and go for a while and no one would ever know how hard he prayed in those few moments for the life of Danny Williams. He was scared for the man's life and concerned too for Steve McGarrett, knowing how Danny's death would affect a good person. It was bad enough that he had to tell Steve details about the assault, he couldn't imagine having to tell him Williams was _dead_. Doc shook his head, it wasn't just pity he was feeling; it was disgust.

They reached Danny's room but before he allowed McGarrett inside he put a hand on the tall man's chest to stop him, "Steve, before you go in there you ought to brace yourself. He won't look like Danny. I know you're used to seeing him after a fall or a gun shot wound but this is _different_. For a start he's on oxygen and we've had to set him up with various things to aid his bodily functions for the moment – what with the stomach wound and the tearing… You have to know that."

Steve sighed, he thought he could cope with anything so long as Danny was alive and he could see him again. He nodded and gave the doctor's shoulder a glancing touch, "Mahalo. I understand. Can I go in now?"

"Of course." Doc moved aside and Steve stepped over the threshold into a world of white and steel. Ironically here, where cheery yellow would have been most welcoming, the neon lights were gray, one was even broken, casting a shadow in the corner behind the bed. The window blinds were open and the rectangles of shining black night stood like the gates of Hell behind Danny's head, waiting to consume him. McGarrett's reflection caught on them as he walked into the room and he felt like a ghost floating past.

But the only real ghost in the room was Dan. He lay swathed in white - both bandages and sheets. All very clean and precise and horrifically clinical. Steve stood shock still and stared down at the inert body in the bed. For a second he thought that Doc had made a mistake and brought him to the wrong room and that the sick, frail looking person lying there was someone else and not his vibrant friend. But then McGarrett recalled the cane field, the rain, the rats and the man they had held in their arms as they carried him towards the ambulance and he knew he was in the right place.

"_Oh Doc_!" McGarrett couldn't help but emote as he felt the Medical Examiner walk softly up behind him. Bergman nodded to a pretty Hawaiian nurse who was adjusting the flow of fluids into Danny's body and she left the two men together.

Doc was sad for both his friends but tried to sound nonchalant regardless, "I told you Steve. But you mustn't forget that this is day _one_. Things will look better in the morning."

'Your beside manner is lousy." Steve countered, biting back the tears as he watched Danny's bruised chest move up and down.

"That's what comes of keeping company with the dead for ten hours a day!"

"He looks peaceful enough." McGarrett said absently and reaching out curled a finger gently under Danny's palm, needing to make contact. Dan was cold to the touch and a flicker of panic crossed Steve's mind, for a brief second his stomach lurched and he thought that he had lost him. He gripped him tighter, not willing to let go as he recognized how foolish he was.

Doc saw McGarrett's back stiffen as he clasped Williams' hand and wondered what the Five-0 chief was thinking, "It's the drugs Steve. He won't be in any pain until he wakes up and then we will monitor him."

"I'm so _tired_." Steve said in a sudden rush of emotion, "I sometimes wonder why I carry on doing this job. Honolulu has changed and if I can't even protect my own people from animals like the ones who did this to Danno - well I'm just not sure I'm cut out to do this any more!"

Bergman raised an eyebrow in surprise. He had known Steve McGarrett for many years and never in all that time had he ever heard a speech delivered like the one he had just been privy to. Steve cared deeply about the people of the islands and those around him, but to hear him berate himself for something that was beyond his control and contemplate giving up was hard for the doctor to bear. "Come on, you need to get out of here. Standing here moping and blaming yourself for this isn't going to help anyone, Danny least of all."

"I want to stay with him." Came the flat response.

"Sorry Steve but you can't. I promised you would see him and you have. He needs rest and full time attention at the moment and you are only going to be in the way. I want you to go home and get some sleep. Change out of those clothes for a start and get into some dry ones before I have to set a bed up next to him for you!"

McGarrett just stared at Danny and continued to hold his hand.

"Look, it's getting late and I'm not a young man my friend. I want to make sure Danny is settled before I go clean up and head home to my wife. Are you going to make me stay until you leave?" A pause, "Steve, are you even _listening_ to me?"

McGarrett looked around at Bergman, startled by the direct question, "What? Oh, sorry Doc, I was miles away."

"Well that is just where I want you to be. Now please get out of here before I ask an orderly to strap you to a gurney and wheel you out!"

"I want to know the _minute_ he's conscious."

Bergman eased McGarrett's fingers from around Danny's and with difficulty turned the solid detective around to face the door. "I promise to brief everyone to contact you the very second there is a change in his condition. _Go_!"

Steve McGarrett didn't like anyone manhandling him but tonight for some reason he made no comment about it, he merely walked towards the brilliantly lit corridor in a daze.

At the door frame he turned to look back at the bed and could almost imagine his Second-in-Command sitting up, peeling away the bandages and laughing at the scene that had just taken place, his bright smile and chuckle making everything better. But there was no Danno there – there was just his battered and wounded body, his friend's mind was somewhere else entirely and guarding the detective was a grim looking doctor dressed in hospital blues, stained with the sweat of his labors to save his best friend's life.

********

Kono Kalakua marched into the waiting area just as McGarrett was coming back from Danny's room. It was after ten pm and nothing much could be done that night that couldn't wait until morning. The lab was closed and everyone was getting over the shock of Danny's abduction and rescue. Kono ached all over; his back and neck locked tight from the day's exertions and his heart ached just as badly for his ohana lying somewhere in the building. What he needed was a nice cool glass of beer and his sandy-haired drinking buddy to share it with him. He sighed deeply and, peering around the hallway for his boss, spotted Steve walking towards him.

"Steve!" Kono called out a little too loudly and was rewarded by a staff nurse telling him to be quiet. McGarrett had seen him before he heard him and his long legs carried him to the detective's side in no time flat.

"Chin told me they took Danno into surgery _wiki-wiki_. How is he boss?"

"He's okay. We can't seem him again tonight Kono, Doc's orders. I'll tell you as we walk, I'm going back to the office and then heading home." McGarrett pulled the Hawaiian around by the arm to follow him out without changing pace.

"No need Steve, we've got everything covered. Go home. We'll get in early tomorrow. Everyone is fired up to find the guys who did this. I'd like just five minutes with them, five minutes with no one looking!" Kono said earnestly as he marched alongside the Irish cop.

"So would I bruddah, so would I!"

"I know we have work to do but you okay if I come back early and check in on Danny?"

"Sure, in fact I think it's a fine idea if one of us is with him on and off whilst he's recovering. I'm sure Doc will understand, Harry's a good man – if a little brusque."

They stepped out into the fresh evening air, cooled by the recent rainstorm. It smelled clean and new and McGarrett stood on the steps looking up at the sky, as dark as treacle. Kono followed his gaze as the clouds shifted with the wind, and they were rewarded with the occasional sprinkle of stars revealing their light to the earth. Steve loved the night sky and would often gaze at it in wonder as a child, curious to know what lay beyond the moon.

Now he wanted to be out there, as far away as possible from the troubles of humanity, somewhere he could forget the brutality of the world. If he could disembody himself he felt he would float forever, among the nebulae and never look back.

It was Kalakua's question that brought him back down to solid ground with a heart-shattering bump.

"Tell me truthfully Boss, was Danno assaulted?"

A yawning pit opened out before him and McGarrett fell right in.

********

Sammie didn't know where else to go. He had spent the evening wandering the streets, staying out of sight every time someone came close to him. He was afraid.

Now that he had called the cops and run away from Koa he knew his life wasn't worth spit.

This place was his last refuge and his only hope.

He knocked on the door and peered through the frosted glass by the side of pristine painted wood. All was dark barring the flicker of a television set in what Sammie knew to be the lounge. He waited but no one came. Plucking up courage he knocked again, this time more loudly – more _insistently_.

He was rewarded by a light turning on in the hallway and an angry male voice followed by the flick of a switch and then he was illuminated as the door opened on a security chain and a woman's face peered out. Sammie squinted in the glare of the porch light.

Now it came down to it he found himself nervous to speak. It had been such a long time. Finally finding the words he said, "I'm sorry to disturb you Mrs Easson, it's Sam."

"_Sam_?" The woman's eyes creased in suspicion and non-recognition.

"Sam Baxter, Ella's old friend."

"Oh."

The door shut in his face and for one awful moment he thought she too would ignore him but the links rattled and the door soon opened again. Sammie released the breath he had been holding.

The woman was middle-aged but wearing badly. Her face was creased from too much sun and her straw colored hair scragged back into pony tail, bits of it flailing around her temple like wispy claws. She was dressed in a baggy ochre blouse and a skirt that hid her full figure. She was just as he remembered her.

"Sam what on earth are you doing here? I thought we were never to see you again? Oh Lord what _do_ you look like!?" She exclaimed as she saw his lack of shirt, wet pants and brown curls stuck flat to his face. "Has something happened?"

He noticed she didn't immediately ask him in and couldn't blame her after what had taken place between her husband and himself the last time he was there.

"I er..I'm fine, I just need to talk to Ella if that's okay?" He tried to look past her bulk but saw nothing.

Ava Easson stepped out onto the porch and pulled the door to behind her, almost closing it. Sam took a step backward, unsure of what the large woman would do to him but he needn't have worried as she merely raised a finger to her lips to quieten him, "You shouldn't be here Sam, you know what happened last time! You've been gone a long time but _he_ hasn't forgotten."

Sammie unconsciously fingered the small scar on his cheek that Ava's husband, John, had given him; just one of many he sported now, "I know Mrs E. I was just hoping to talk to her. I promise not to cause any trouble. I just need some advice and…," he was just about to give away more when he heard footsteps on the parquet flooring in the hallway.

"Ava, who's at the door?" a rough voice issued forth from inside and Sammie found himself quaking. Going there had been a bad idea.

Mrs Easson pulled the door tighter to her ample backside blocking even the slightest view of their visitor, "Just an old friend Dad, nothing to worry about."

Her husband snorted but didn't appear otherwise concerned, "At _this_ time of night? Well close that door, there's a damned draft!"

Ava shook her head, "Ignore him, he's just grumpy because his team lost tonight. Tell me why you want to speak to Ella," she demanded.

Sam stared at his feet, unable to bring himself to look at the housewife, "I'm in trouble," he admitted.

Ava sighed and rolled her eyes, "Well I could have told _you_ that from your state of undress and turning up here so late after all these years! What kind of trouble Sam Baxter and _don't_ be lying to me now?"

Sammie felt the weight of disappointment come crashing down, he visibly sagged. He _couldn't_ tell her – he couldn't tell anyone what had happened that day and what he had been forced to do to the cop or Koa. Another door had closed to him and he had to leave.

Sam turned around and started to shuffle away, only to feel a warm hand on his shoulder as Ava came after him. "Sammie? Hey lad look at me." The young man stood there, unable to move. He had the urge to start biting his nails but fought the sensation as his fingers were already sore and bloodied stumps. "If you won't look at me then talk to me, or at _least_ listen. I like you Sam and I know Ella misses you but I can't have you bringing any trouble down on my daughter, or this household. Will you tell me what's happened?"

Sammie's breath hitched and he turned around. Ava saw his unshed tears and felt sorry for him. Sam and Ella had known each other for a long time; they went to school together and she had known the kid from the time before – when his parents were still alive. He had been a happy child then, always laughing and playing practical jokes and she knew how close her daughter had been to him and approved of the match. But since the death of his mother and father Sam changed; he had become morose and less easy to handle. That was when the teenager started to hang around with a bad element and got into trouble. The last time it happened the police had come around to her door looking for him and Ella had stood up for Sammie, much to her father's disgust. It was enough to drive a wedge between the Eassons and the young man.

When Sam came calling the next time, John had hauled him across the yard by his collar and back-handed him whilst calling him all the names under the sun. He refused him access to Ella and told him that he would end up in prison or worse. The last slap was vicious and the edge of John's wedding ring caught the boy on the cheek making him bleed profusely. With a kick in the pants Sammie left, never to return – until now, almost two years later.

"_Please_ Mrs E. I just need to see Ella. I've nowhere else to go!"

Ava looked back at the house, concerned her husband might come out but she saw a reassuring shadow, backed by the light of the television tube, walk behind the net curtains and felt relieved. "Are you in trouble with the police?"

Sam's head shot up.

"Look, I can't have Ella involved Sam – not this time. John will kill you if you stay around here!"

"Is she here?"

Ava shook her head. "She's gone to stay with her aunt for a few weeks." The youngster's face was so desolate and strained that she began to fear for the boy. If only he would tell her what was wrong. "Can't you go home?"

"No, I've nowhere. It's not the police it's…look I can't explain but please trust that I don't want to hurt Ella in any way, I just need some _help_!"

Ava paused, unsure what to do especially knowing that she would take the full brunt of her husband's temper if he knew the Baxter boy had been sniffing around. Then again, it was about time she did something to help Ella over her depression. Since Sammie left her daughter had been moping around the place unable to concentrate on anything much and perhaps, Ava thought, seeing Sam again would put things into perspective for her and make her daughter realize he wasn't the one for her. Then they could all move on with their lives.

Sam was staring at her like she was his only lifeline and she felt a twinge of guilt. "Okay, stay here out of sight for a while. I'll find you some of Dad's old clothes to change into. We ought to get you out of those wet ones. I can't give you much money but I can tell you my sister's address. You're _not_ to go there scaring them tonight though, do you hear me Sam Baxter?" He nodded, heart lifting with every word she uttered. "Good now go around the back and I will drop a bundle of things on the deck with the address. Have you eaten?" As if by magic Sammie's stomach rumbled in reply. "I'll put something in there for you."

Tears of gratitude ran down his face and he bent forward and gave Ava Easson an impromptu and very cold kiss on the cheek. "Mahalo Mrs E. I shan't forget this."

She rubbed her face, "Well you best make sure you don't make me regret it. You say your goodbyes to Ella but you don't involve her in whatever mischief you're up to, you hear?" He nodded, knowing he couldn't really afford to promise anything of the kind in his precarious situation but grateful nevertheless.

"Like I said, _don't_ go there tonight! There's a barn half a mile up the road that old Digby owns – he never locks it – you can sleep there out of the weather."

By the time Sam had wiped the salty water from his eyes on the back of his hand she was gone.

******

Across town two other men were similarly emotional but for very different reasons. McGarrett had recovered from the shock of Kalakua's inquiry.

"You okay Kono?" Steve asked gently.

As they sat in the hospital grounds on a bench donated by the Governor, McGarrett had explained his visit to Che Fong that afternoon after they had found the car and the conclusions each man had come to; one from a scientific standpoint, the other a gut feel. Kono was quiet as he described in detail what Doc Bergman had told him about Danny's injuries and the more he talked the less Kono was able to hold back tears. It was disconcerting to McGarrett to have so much male emotion thrown at him on top of his own warring feelings that he found himself in turmoil. It was as though the Five-0 unit was crumbling around him and for the first time in a very long time he didn't know what to do about it. He wasn't used to wearing his heart on his sleeve, let alone witnessing those of others. How one person could mean so much to so many was a source of amazement to him, but then Danny Williams _was_ a pretty amazing man.

Kono sniffed and pulled his jacket closer against the cold night air, goosebumps playing on his skin. They had been outside too long in their barely dried suits and it was taking its toll. "I'm okay Steve. I'm sorry. It's just…just the thought of what happened to Danny – he's our_ kaikaina_ - little bruddah_,_ you know?"

"Yeah Kono, as Danno's only family here on this island I care about him like he was my own flesh and blood." He paused and studied the bushes swaying lightly in the breeze, their artificially lit leaves rustling with an indecipherable Morse code. He said at length, "I would have told you and Chin you know, it's just that I couldn't bear to say the words out loud."

"Doc's only just told you, and before that it was just conjecture. I understand – Chin will too. We fight this one together bruddah, for Danno's sake."

"Well our only consolation is that the guys who molested him, whoever they are, are sloppy. Sooner or later they'll make another mistake and then we'll have them. I want to be there when they go down and so help me I want to make them _pay_ for every bruise, cut and break on Danno's body and as for the animal who shot him – he's going down for life if I have any say in the matter."

Kono was happy to hear some fire in his boss' speech but at the back of his mind he was thinking about how Danny Williams would be affected by the outcome and how, with all that he had been through, he would ever be the same man they respected and loved.

McGarrett saw the islander shivering and he put a caring hand on the middle of his back, "Come on bruddah, let's go home - I'm beat."

As they walked back to their parked cars they unconsciously passed by the side of the building and stood for a minute in mutual silence as they stared up at the window of the room where Danny lay in his world of pain. The view was clear from where they paused and as they watched, the form of Doctor Bergman passed in front of the glass. McGarrett thought he ought not to be surprised but he was. Bergman had lied to get him to leave and it seemed as though the surly practitioner had no intention of removing himself from Danny's side – for a while at least.

Somehow that was a great comfort to Steve and he stood in silent salute to the good doctor.

*******


	10. Know Thine Enemy

CHAPTER 10: Know Thine Enemy

Morning came too soon and with it the sun. The clouds from the day before had drifted on to pastures new and behind them was the vast lake of brilliant blue so admired by tourists and so reviled by art critics for its lack of realism.

Inside the cool concrete the hospital was a busy place, never stopping to listen to the human stories behind the pain. It simply carried on functioning; healing the sick and injured like one huge machine churning out the cured, the ill and the dead. But compartmentalized within its walls small life or death campaigns were being waged; each enacted with their separate players – the patient, doctors, nurses, relatives or friends. Occasionally additional characters were there to do their duty and today it was the turn of the police.

Having had hardly any rest, Chin Ho and Kono marched down the corridor to Danny's room after gaining permission from a stern-looking nurse to see him. Doctor Harry Bergman was apparently fast asleep at home, having stayed with his patient until past two am.

The Chinese detective was quiet, he was still reeling from the news about Danny's assault. McGarrett had phoned him the previous night, unable to sleep; nerves frayed. Chin kept silent as Steve told him, picturing in his head the torment that for now they could only imagine their friend had suffered. He had said all the right things to his boss, or thought he had – he didn't recall much of the conversation – it was too much of a shock.

Almost by telepathy he had arrived at the same time as Kono that morning and they had stood on the steps of the hospital in the same spot that Kono has asked the shocking question of McGarrett the previous evening, and greeted each other with a warm handshake that quickly evolved into a brief hug.

Now they stood outside the door to Danny's room, unsure of how to proceed. A young nurse saw them hovering anxiously and ushered them in explaining as best she could how Williams was doing. She seemed positive and that was a good sign but never discussed, thought or perhaps even _knew_, of the horror of what the man in the bed had been through in the preceding twenty-four hours; but the two detectives did and couldn't look at their colleague without being thrown back to the moment he was found.

Kono addressed his friend, even though he reasoned Dan couldn't hear him, "Hey Danny, me and Chin have come to say hello. We're here for a short while then we gotta get to work bruddah but we…we're thinking about you, everyone wants you to rest and get well and…" the Hawaiian faltered, unsure what else to say or how to say it without breaking down.

In the stark daylight the bruises were clearer and the stillness more alien. Kono pulled up a chair for each of them and they sat contemplating Williams, scrutinizing him and each labored breath he took. It was bitterly painful to watch.

"Do you think he's dreaming?" Kono asked, breaking the silence.

"I dunno Kono but I hope if he is it isn't about yesterday. I wouldn't want Danny to go through that over and over," he paused, "who would _do_ something like this?"

Kono shook his head, "I know men who would, and trust me brah it wouldn't matter whether Danny was haole or Hawaiian – man or woman - a cop is just a piece of garbage to them. They don't care that we're people too ya know? If they were in trouble they'd come running to us for help _wiki-wiki_. They'd soon hide behind us for protection if they needed it. _Man_ I just don't get it!"

"Well I wouldn't want to be in their shoes when Steve catches up to them – we're gonna get them for what they did to Danno and when we do he's gonna be one _volcanic _haole!"

Kalakua glanced at his friend lying frozen like a carved marble effigy on a tombstone and just as devoid of color then shook his head sadly, "Well I just hope _he_ gets the chance to see them put away too."

*******

McGarrett was anxious to get back to the hospital and Danny's bedside but he had much to do before he could afford that luxury and the majority of it revolved around Williams' case anyway.

With his two senior detectives due in any moment, Steve hadn't wasted time but had been putting together as much information as he could on Dan's assailants. McGarrett's first port of call that morning had been the lab and he had been unsurprised to see Che Fong hard at work already, two sleepy-eyed assistants to help him out.

The scientist had tested the residue taken from Danny and discovered two blood types. He couldn't be sure but felt, with the deposit of seminal fluid on Danny's badge, it was likely that at least three men had assaulted the detective however with the presence of other fingerprints he warned the Five-0 Chief it could be more. That McGarrett found hard to bear; one was bad enough but a gang rape was horrifying in the extreme. Che had heard there was a clear bite mark on Dan's back and wanted to take an impression as evidence before it healed, Steve agreed so long as Bergman thought it okay to do so but loathed the necessity.

Hair samples indicated the men were Polynesian or Hawaiian but more than that he couldn't say.

The most interesting thing from McGarrett's point of view were the fingerprints. They were still sifting through the coins from the call box but they found a match on Danny's shield to a known ex-convict. They had a name and now Steve was able to begin the hunt in earnest. His blood was up and he had a focus - a man named Lupe Tanilofa.

As he walked back to his office Steve found himself repeating the name over and over, savoring the small victory of that knowledge – "_Lupe Tanilofa_ _wherever you are God help you because I'm coming after you"_.

********

"So, that's all we have for the moment gentlemen, you're as up to date as I am. I know that we're all eager to get these men but we can't neglect our other cases. Danno would never want us to do that."

Steve McGarrett addressed his men, and by that he included Duke Lukela and Lt. George Kealoha as well as Chin and Kono. These were the friends who knew Danny best and would protect the information regarding the young detective's assault with their careers if necessary. Steve hated to pull the wool over the rest of the department and HPD's eyes but he needed breathing space to think how best to release the information to the newspapers without damaging Danny's career and life. It was difficult and he knew that certain members of the press had already been sniffing around the hospital for any newsworthy stories, he just hoped Doc Bergman had as much hold over the staff there as he had loyalty in his department.

"Our problem is the papers. If they get hold of any part of this, even Danno's shooting, then the assailants will go to ground – assuming they haven't already. What we need is for them to stay nice and relaxed. Let them think we haven't found him yet so that we can do our job and track them down."

"Steve, that's going to be difficult. With so many people around that hospital on a daily basis someone's bound to let slip Danny's there." George said.

"I know but that's a risk we're going to have to take. Danno's too sick to move right now."

"Okay, so how do we stop them from finding out?" Chin asked.

"Bottom line is we can't Chin. We've got to just concentrate on finding that pack of animals as fast as possible. We've got a name to start with so I want you to get the book on Lupe Tanilofa. Che says they should be through with the prints off the phone booth by mid-morning and he's working on some partials from Danny's shield so let's keep our fingers crossed we get some lines of inquiry there. I don't know if Tanilofa was the man who rang to tell us where Danno was but whoever that was is the key to this.

We are lucky; we have clumsy or arrogant criminals who have left clues. There's the grease Che says is the type used in vehicles and actual fingerprints of all the perps, not to mention the blood groups of several of them. We have a bite mark that we can use as evidence and we have hairs. I'd say that was a pretty good start. Once Danno is awake we can get full descriptions of the assailants and when he's well enough get a police artist to draw up those descriptions. We will snare these men in no time!"

"Well I think you can safely say Steve that none of us mind doing the overtime on this one. We want them as badly as you do." Lukela shifted in his chair, uncomfortable with the whole situation and in particular keeping information from his fellow HPD officers but knowing what McGarrett said was wise, for Williams' sake.

"I know Duke, I for one won't sleep if necessary and that's why I'm giving you all the information I have at present. I can only release so much to the rest of HPD, but it should be enough.

I'm off to the hospital but I want you to get hold of me there if anything at all comes up, particularly those prints from Che. I want to know who this Tanilofa is but I don't want anyone to move on him until I'm ready. Understood?"

"Sure boss." Kono offered, "You want a ride to the hospital?"

McGarrett knew Kono was only offering because he too wanted to be at Danny's side but he needed him there, working on the case. "No Kono, you get down to the lab and see what's keeping them."

"Okay."

"Right, gentlemen. I don't think anything more needs to be said at this stage. You know where to reach me. Once we've located our man we'll make a move on him but we have to be careful – there are five fish for us to catch and we don't want to scare them all away!"

*****

Before heading to the hospital McGarrett took a turn and drove towards Williams' apartment building. Unsure why he felt the need to go there but going just the same.

He knew the place so well and felt it was a part of his life, the times they had spent together enjoying each other's company, talking over cases or sympathizing with each other when life got too hard to bear.

As he sat outside looking at the empty window to the apartment he was surprised to feel bereaved. Danny wasn't dead, he was very much alive and struggling to come back to them but somehow Steve knew that a part of their former life together was over. Faceless, nameless men had ripped something away from his friend and as a consequence stolen it from McGarrett too.

He suddenly smashed the dashboard with both hands, the force bruising his palms. At the same time yesterday morning something unspeakable was happening to someone he cared deeply about and McGarrett was finding it harder to control his emotions than he would ever have thought possible. They didn't just assault Danno – they had assaulted him and the police force.

*****

"He'll be alright Steve." A very weary Doc said soothingly as he came across McGarrett standing by Danny's bedside some time later. The tall dark-haired cop was just staring at the figure lying there, hands tucked tightly into his pants pockets and his mouth so tightly pursed it would let air neither in, nor out.

Steve had made his way to the hospital on autopilot. Still feeling the effects of his own lack of sleep combined with the depression he had been unable to completely leave at his 2-I-C's apartment building. Without looking around he rubbed a hand over his eyes and muttered, "No, no I don't think he will. How can _anyone_ ever be the same again after _that_?"

"Steady Steve, Danny will come through it, just as many other men have. Do you have any idea how prevalent this kind of thing is? I've seen similar abuse a dozen times before and I'm just one doctor. I have bodies in my morgue that have suffered worse and treated the living for the same. He's _strong_."

McGarrett turned and looked at Bergman, surprised by his admissions. "As bad as this? Without us knowing?"

"Steve you don't seem to understand. I don't know exactly what they put Danny through, but the evidence of trauma suggests he was assaulted multiple times. I know it's not normal to use this word in relation to men but that means rape, pure and simple. Many men have been abused like this and never come forward to the law; for a variety of reasons."

Steve naturally assumed that where a crime was involved the police would be contacted, he had seen victims of sexual abuse many times before in the course of his career. Of course he understood victims often found it hard to admit to such abuse but not in the case of a _man_. He realized how naïve he was being, Doc was right - it happened all the time, and that brought a whole new perspective to the future for Williams. If it was hard for a woman to live with, how much worse for a man with all the machismo attached to being the stronger sex? He felt sick.

McGarrett swiftly changed the subject, leaving the future to the future, "Why isn't he awake Doc?"

Bergman checked Danny's chart at the foot of the bed, "It doesn't look as though he has come round at all as yet. Could be the drugs in his system or it could be that fracture. If he doesn't wake up this afternoon we may have to re-look at that head trauma."

An idea occurred to McGarrett as he recalled the man that he and Danny had so recently helped, "What about Doctor Forbes?"

"Yes, I'd thought of him."

"Well let's get him here! Danno helped rescue his daughter when she was kidnapped and I saw how he was with these cases. I'm sure he would be willing to help."

"Steve we are getting a little ahead of ourselves here. For a patient to be unconscious for this length of time isn't unusual. I'm not concerned as yet. Besides which it may not be as easy as that. David Forbes is the foremost brain surgeon in this country, he is a busy man and it's quite likely that he might not be available."

"Well can't you check _dammit_?!"

Bergman looked at McGarrett and his face screwed up, thick graying eyebrows knitting together. "I know you're upset and worried about Danny so I will forgive you for snapping, however you would do well to remember I'm on both your sides. Now I've told you that at the moment I'm not concerned, when I think his case requires a referral for outside help then I will make that call."

Steve had the grace to look contrite, "Sorry Harry, I just don't want to leave anything to chance. If Forbes can help then let's try, _please_."

Bergman looked at Williams lying as still as death when by rights he ought never to have been there at all, he nodded, "I will make inquiries. _Just_ in case."

"Thanks, and please don't think I don't appreciate what you're doing for him. Between you and Forbes I know Danno would be in the best hands."

"Right, well I better get onto some real work, I have bodies piling up. I will make sure someone calls me if there's any change. You would do well to take some time to relax, you look terrible."

"Not until I know he's out of danger."

Bergman nodded and left.

Steve turned back to the bedside and grasped Danny's good hand in both of his, stroking it soothingly as he begged his friend to awaken and show him some small sign of recovery. "Hey kiddo, it's Steve. I just wanted to tell you that I'm here, so any time you want to open your eyes is fine. You're safe now and can come back. You've had a bad time but you need to wake up now - I won't leave you just yet if that's what's worrying you." His stroke became more desperate as he mashed the limp hand between his palms, trying to massage life back into the injured man, voice increasing in pitch as his emotions boiled over once more, "Come _back_ to me Danno, _please_!"

But Danny never stirred.

*******

Sammie Baxter walked up and down on the same stretch of sidewalk, arms wrapped around himself as he tried to make up his mind what to do.

Ava Easson had been true to her word and provided him with clothing; a faded blue T-shirt and some dry jeans that were miles too big for him but she had been thoughtful enough to provide some thin rope in the bundle she had dropped him the night before. It held the jeans in place but they still sagged around his bony body and nearly caused him to trip over as he paced. He was hungry - his last meal had been the night before and his stomach growled at him, accusing him of neglect. With his over-sized clothing, unkempt hair and the beginnings of a beard and mustache he looked and felt like a vagrant; all he needed was a bottle in a brown paper bag to complete the picture. He also stank and knew it. All these things kept him pounding the small stretch of road outside the house that Ava had said Ella was staying at but making no attempt to go up to it.

Now it came down to it Sammie wasn't sure he was ready to see her again, particularly not in his state and, as Mrs Easson had so carefully reminded him, if he was in trouble he was bringing a giant sized amount down on his ex-girlfriend's shoulders when she didn't deserve it.

On the other hand he had no one else to turn to and was becoming more agitated and desperate as the minutes ticked by. He knew it was just a matter of time before Mano and the others found him and he had to find a safe place to hole up until he could figure a way off the island.

Staring once more at the pretty painted house with its white picket fence and neatly tended garden, Sammie made up his mind. He had no choice.

Hoisting the jeans back up his waist, he re-tied the rope and brushed his hair back from his face before sniffing his armpits to check just how fragrant he was. His nose screwed up in distaste as he realized he was sour from sweat both old and new. He longed for a bath.

He wasn't sure just why he looked up the road at the time he did but Sam was very grateful afterwards that something had made him turn around for in the distance a truck was coming toward him that he recognized and his heart leaped into his mouth. "Shit! _Shit_!" he exclaimed as he literally leaped over the nearest low fence and dropped to the ground, oblivious of where he had ended up or whose bushes he had just crushed. He just hoped the owners were at work.

Coming down the road at a slow pace was Koa Lukina's truck, glimmering like a ravenous beast prowling in the sunlight. The fact that Sammie had seen it from a distance was testament both to his youthful eyesight and that he was terrified of being found.

How they came to know about Ella was something that escaped him temporarily until he recalled that when he had first been taken in by the Kaika brothers he had told Mano and Ratchet about his girlfriend in the hope of looking macho, Mano had even dropped him off there a couple of times – before his run in with Ella's father. So how did Koa know Ella was there with her aunt? Sam thought with a shock that they must have recalled the Easson's old address and asked her parents for Ella. Sam wondered if Ava or John had given the information freely and it made him shudder.

He lay low and heard the engine rumble as the truck came closer. He hid himself as best he could, face pressed into a rosebush with sharp thorns that scratched his face and started praying silently.

Koa parked outside the address Mano had given him, unaware that the person he sought was hiding barely twenty feet away in a neighbor's yard. He got out and made his way to the house, unlatching the fence and noting with pleasure the brightly colored and scented flowers that bordered the path to the front door. As he approached he saw a curtain twitch downstairs and smiled to himself; someone was home.

He knocked briskly and heard raised voices inside - at least two people were there. After a few moments an elderly woman answered the door and Koa was surprised at her age. Her sister, Mrs Easson couldn't have been older than mid-forties but this lady was into her late sixties. At least he assumed it was the sister; to Koa she looked nothing like her sibling. She appeared wary and as Koa glanced down he could see she had a furry pink slipper-clad foot jammed against the door to prevent him from pushing it open.

"Hey, sorry to bother you." He said with a smile, "I'm looking for a good friend of mine and was told he might be here."

Ava's sister frowned, "And who might that be?" she asked with authority.

"Sammie…er..Sam Baxter. Like I said I'm a friend of Sam's and I need to find him urgently and I know he talked a lot about Ella when he was dating her so…"

"So you assumed Ella knows where?" She added for him.

"Well yeah!"

"What made you think _she_ might be here?"

Koa smiled again, the smile that made some men's hearts melt and their fly open, "Her ma, Mrs Easson told me."

The aunt edged the door open a fraction, feeling more comfortable with the stranger on her doorstep at the mention of her sister but she was still unsure. "So tell me, " she asked, "If she is here, and I'm _not_ saying she is, what do you want young Sam for? She hasn't seen him in years."

"I ah…his Uncle's been in an accident and they need to locate da family members in case da worst should happen. It's _very_ sad."

Ella's aunt paused to consider his statement and decided she would at least ask Ella. "Wait here, I'll see if she's home."

The door closed in his face and he found himself staring at the white-painted panel work in frustration.

More voices from inside and again they were raised. Minutes went by and Koa was getting annoyed. He contemplated knocking again but knew that would be fruitless.

He heard a window open to the right of the door and the aunt's face peered at him from behind the glass as she pushed back the nets and shouted at him through a small opening, "_Go away_! I don't know what you want Sam for but he's not here, we haven't seen him in years and what's more he doesn't _have_ an uncle so _push off or I will call the police_!" she said viciously and closed the window with a slam, pulling a bolt in place across the opening to prevent Koa from getting in.

"Damn! _Shit and damn_!" he cursed and kicked the door with foot before turning and giving the aunt the finger and retreating down the path.

Dead end.

As the truck revved its engine and Koa screamed away from the curb Sammie lay in the undergrowth and laughed until he cried. He had heard the exchange and whatever he thought of Ella's father he loved her mom and aunt.

He waited for a few more minutes in case Koa decided to turn around and force his way in before he extricated himself from the bushes, brushing off the torn leaves and rose petals from his hair and clothing. He jumped back across the fence and breathed a huge sigh before walking through the gate that Koa had been too angry to shut.

As he trod the crazy-paved path he too saw the curtains shift but this time he didn't even need to knock. The door flew open and standing in the frame was Ella, looking breathtakingly beautiful, her long blond hair flowing around her shoulders and her aunt behind `_tutting'_ and frowning.

"Sammie!" she yelled and flung herself at him. He had a brief second to catch her before they both fell back on the pathway and he hit his head. With the pert young woman lying heavily on top of him he saw stars in his eyes and believed, as she kissed him fully on the lips, that she too was seeing stars – of another kind.

"Welcome _home_." She said and Sam began to cry.

******


	11. Time To Come Home

CHAPTER 11: Time to Come Home

"Ella! Get off the boy, you're crushing him!" The command came from Hetty, Ava's sister and Ella's maiden aunt as she watched her niece attack Sam Baxter on her doorstep.

Ella reluctantly eased herself off Sammie's body, sneaking one last kiss before she sat back on her haunches and stared at him. It was only when she got over the pleasurable shock of seeing him that she saw how disheveled he was and smelled the masculine scent of sweat. She grimaced. Ella was also disgusted with him for leaving her. Reaching forward she slapped him hard on the cheek making his ears echo with the sound of the blow.

"What was _that_ for?!" Sam exclaimed sniffling; hurt by the sudden change in Ella's temper.

"Oh _that's_ just a taster Sam Baxter, I fully intend to slap you again and this time harder. That was for leaving me!" She said and burst into tears herself.

"Ella get up dear, we're all making a spectacle of ourselves out here." Hetty said kindly and held her hand out for her niece to latch onto before helping her up. "Come on let's get inside." She looked at Sam with distaste and added, "And I suppose you should as well."

Sam did as he was told and followed the crying girl and her Aunt indoors.

Ella sat on the staircase in the hallway and Aunt Hetty passed her a handkerchief that she had secreted up her sleeve, before leaving the pair of them alone together - with just one warning, "Sam, I know about you and if you bring trouble down on my house with men like the one that just came here or you harm my niece in any way, I shan't be responsible for my actions. John will know about this – mark my words!" Then she turned on her still-shapely elderly legs and walked out into the kitchen.

"I…I'm sorry Ella." Sam said after Hetty had gone.

Ella turned her head away and blew into the hankie in a very un-ladylike manner.

"I know that I shouldn't have come here. I saw your mom last night and she said I could see you."

She wouldn't look at him so he knelt on the carpet in front of her and held her hand. "Ella will you look at me at least?" He begged.

"You hurt me Sammie." She said at last in a little-girl-lost voice.

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I was _pupule_! All my life I seem to have said or done the wrong things. I'm a loser El I know that and I'm not making excuses for myself but I'm trouble, deep trouble."

Her head shot round at that and there was anger in her eyes, "Why was that man looking for you?"

Sam looked at his nails and wished he could bite them, he didn't know how to begin to tell her.

"There was this cop…," he began.

*******

Some while later, after Sammie had explained as best he could, but without details, what had happened to Dan Williams the day he boosted the Mustang, he found his head cradled in the lap of his former girlfriend as he sobbed and sobbed, chest heaving as he finally gave into the anguish. His guilt, anger and fear flooded out of him in a raging torrent of shame.

Even Aunt Hetty came out to see what was wrong and soothed his back as he cried into Ella's lap. "Come on you two," she said more gently than before, "I'll get you something to drink and Sam, you look as though you could do with a bath and some food."

Sitting in the kitchen Sam sighed and thought how lucky he was. Hot, sweet tea poured down his throat and he savored it like nectar; to him nothing had ever tasted so good.

Ella was dipping a biscuit into her tea and munching on the soggy mixture whilst her Aunt held court.

"I didn't hear what you had to say to Ella, but from the look and sound of you young man you're in a lot of trouble. If the Hawaiian who came here was anything to judge by I don't want you in my house any longer than it takes you to get yourself cleaned and fed. Ava would murder me if I left you with Ella."

"Oh Aunt Hetty don't be ridiculous, I'm twenty years old and am more than capable of making up my own mind about who I see and where I see them. I'm not a kid any longer – I'm a _woman_!"

"Well you might be but I'm decades older than you young lady and I know what's in a man's mind when it comes to women. Also, I'm not so old that I can't smell trouble and he reeks of it." She said with a nod at Sam.

"He needs our help and I'm not going to turn him away."

"You don't have any say in the matter, this is my house and you are my guest in it!"

Both women were so busy bickering back and forth that neither of them noticed Sammie quietly put down his cup and walk out to the hallway, intent on leaving; disappointed by the turn of events.

Seeing him, Ella shouted through the doorway, "Sammie wait - come back! Now see what you've _done_!?" she said to Hetty and went to persuade him to stay. Stopping him at the door she put a hand on his forearm, "Sam, don't go. She didn't mean it. It's just that my family are over-protective."

Sammie looked into her blue eyes and saw the remnants of their past relationship reflected there; she cared for him still.

"Your Aunt is right El I shouldn't even be here. They'll find me somehow."

"Why don't you go to the police? You told them where to find that officer, surely they will understand you didn't do it?"

"I _can't_. I've been running away from something my whole life, I've nothing to run towards and I certainly can't go to the cops. I helped them – Mano and the others – I helped take that poor man out into the field and I watched him get shot. God help me I saw them rape him Ella…I saw them hurt him and rape him and they made he hold him down! How can I _ever_ run from that?" He tried to keep his voice down in case her Aunt heard but found it hard when the visions sprang back so vividly.

A delicate white hand flew to her mouth in shock, "Oh my God Sammie you never told me they did that to him! That's _awful_!!"

"And shooting him _isn't_?" He couldn't help but add.

"Of course, that - _all of it_ – it's terrible! Listen to me Sam, those people you called your friends, you told me they want to find you and then what? Will they kill you if you do – for running away?"

Sam nodded.

"Well then you have no need to hide their identities from the police do you?"

"I can't do that to them. I promised."

Ella slapped him again, _hard_.

"_Wake up Sam_! This isn't a game, you don't make promises to criminals like you're a kid in school – you're a grown man and the sooner you realize that the better. You don't owe them anything. You carry this chip on your shoulder that's so huge it's going to weigh you down. So you're part Hawaiian, part Haole – _so_ _what_? So you made a promise to a former friend who made you watch him shoot a cop – _so what_? After what they did you're still keeping promises? You promised me you'd marry me once, remember?" She watched him carefully for signs that she was getting through to him.

"I remember." He said, guiltily.

"Then you went and got yourself in trouble and left me. Well _so what Samuel Baxter_? Excuse me but _so damned what_!!? Stop feeling so sorry for yourself and you start feeling sorry for that policeman, whoever he is – if he's still alive he's got to live with what your so-called friends did to him. Can you imagine how horrific that will be? Don't you think that HE deserves a chance to have some justice from this? Don't forget – if you tell them who these awful men are then you will be free of them Sammie. Free to live your life, start over…maybe with me."

Sam knew she was right, he wallowed in self-pity. Ever since his parents died he had lived his life not taking responsibility for anything he did. He had hurt Ella and her parents but he couldn't help himself. He was damaged inside from being left to face the world alone so Mano, Ratchet and the others became a substitute family and they didn't care for the world either so he never knew the flip side. He understood that he had been going around with a `fuck you' attitude that he needed to square somehow, before the whole fruit turned bad. It also just dawned on him that Ella had said `with her'.

"You?" he asked, dumbstruck.

"I said _maybe_. I'm not promising anything. I've loved you for years Sammie but I'm not throwing my life away if you don't respect yourself and respect that poor man enough to help him. If he's dead then his parents and friends ought to have closure. Just because he's a policeman doesn't mean he's not human."

Sam couldn't make a decision, he was too tired and too hungry. The tea was warming his insides but he was cold outside and this was too much pressure for him right now.

"El if you want me still then that's the best thing that has happened to me in a long time. I have to seriously consider what to do about the guys though. I need to make sure this is the right thing – for all of us."

Ella leaned forward and brushed her full lips against his very gently, "Well don't take too long lover boy, because this time I may not wait. Now go get that bath before I strip you in the hallway and make Auntie Hetty blush."

"She wouldn't be the only one." He replied and kissed her back.

******

"You're right Harry, he should have shown some signs of coming round, second day."

In the hospital room occupied by Danny Williams, Doctor David Forbes checked the detective's eyes for signs of reaction, Dan's face was pale and clammy beneath the purple and yellow bruise. Behind him Bergman crossed his arms and waited for his colleague's opinion.

Forbes had jumped at the chance to help Danny, his depth of gratitude for Five-0 rescuing his nine year old daughter Ellen ensuring his swift response when Bergman called. Doc wasn't surprised, Danny had that effect on most people and McGarrett too, it's what made them good men as well as detectives. But as upholders of law and order it also bought them enemies.

"I suspected coma last night." Bergman stated and Forbes nodded.

"Only question is how deep, no reaction so far. I'll have to test his other responses and get a look at those X-rays. We might need more. I need to know the extent of the swelling."

"I'll get someone to bring them up. I just hope there's no nerve or permanent damage."

The middle-aged surgeon looked at his friend and back at the comatose patient. He knew what had happened to Danny and was as shocked and horrified as he had been when he was told by his daughter's kidnappers that in order to save her life he would have to deliberately terminate a patient on the operating table; someone with a similar injury to the one Williams had. Despite seeing many things over the years, Forbes was still disturbed at the extent to which human beings preyed on one another and to him Williams' assault was just another example of the level of depravity in the world. "I hope so too Harry, this young man deserves to recover after all he's been through."

"_Amen_ to that!" Bergman agreed.

"I suspect McGarrett is out looking for the ones who did this to him."

"If I know Steve, he's going to tear up the streets, and with every reason. Danny's a good officer and a fine man, not to mention one of McGarrett's closest friends – he'll find them."

"Good. I hope they get what's coming to them." Forbes replied, eager for justice to be served. "Now, let's see if he responds to pain."

Forbes tried squeezing Danny's left trapezius muscle at the back of his neck. Nothing. No reaction to the pain. The surgeon tutted, and applied pressure to Danny's sternum, hoping the discomfort might bring the required response, still nothing. He frowned. "We might need to reduce the sedation, just to see if that makes a difference. I'll try some other external stimuli, let's see if we can't get him to show some signs of coming round."

*******

Whilst the two doctors were engaged with Williams, down one floor a different type of engagement was taking place.

"Oh yes Jimmy, _yes_!!" Nurse Beverley Hodge gripped a handful of towels and a handful of thick hair as her lover's hands roamed beneath her blouse and she shuddered on the counter top.

She was sitting back on a cabinet in one of the smaller laundry storage rooms and as he kissed her thoroughly, she sucked hungrily on his tongue.

Although not a large girl she was round, fresh and rosy and Jim Shultz loved the way he could get her steamed up with minimal stimulation; it saved him so much effort.

He had chosen her out of all the nurses to pursue because she had an air of desperation about her, of virginal naivety and sadness. He just knew that some flattery would get him everywhere - and it had. So what if he had to compromise his integrity; as long as he got what he wanted?

There was an understanding between them – he gave her hot (ish) illicit sex in closets and she gave him news. She wasn't the only girl Jim had in his pocket, he had a dozen or more strategically placed to give him stories, there was even the odd man, but Shultz used other methods to extract information from them. He was a reporter and the worst kind; freelance – and as such he sold news to the highest bidder. He was so capable of sniffing out information that his customers often referred to him as `Blood Hound'; it was all in his willingness to use people. Just as he was using Nurse Beverley right now.

"Darling you were amazing, as always," Shultz flattered his informant before rolling her stockings carefully and seductively up each plump leg and fastening them underneath her dress. Truthfully she was a quick and boring lover but a necessary evil. Plain - but eager.

Beverley was breathing heavily, strands of brown hair had fallen loose from her hair band and framed her heart-shaped face. She had a definite `_thing'_ for Jimmy, he was older than her, at twenty-seven he was six years her senior but she loved how mature and forceful he was. She normally preferred her men with more muscle but what Jimmy lacked in stature and physique he made up for in technique. She longed for his visits and didn't see anything wrong in what she was doing. He was her secret lover.

"You're just saying that Jimmy." She said and blushed, although the extra redness hardly showed on a puce face covered in perspiration.

"No truly, the best yet!" He smiled and she bent to kiss him again but he moved swiftly out of her reach, wiped a hand over his mouth and thought of how he needed a nice long Bourbon to wash the taste away. "Now darling, what have _YOU_ got for _me_?"

"Oh Jimmy _must_ we talk business?" She wined and jumped off the counter, walking towards him meaningfully.

"Listen Bev, babe, I have no time today; you know how it is. We can't do that here – not today – too many people. We might get caught."

She pouted and made a moue with her lips, "But Jimmy-kins, don't you want Bevsie to love you?"

Jimmy checked the door behind him for a swift escape route if required and couldn't help but lick his lips in panic. "Sure baby but not today okay, I have a deadline. Next time eh honey? I promise." _`God forbid'_, thought Shultz as he recalled her inelegant fumblings from past encounters. He was sore for days afterwards.

"Now what have you got for me? Something good I hope or you wouldn't have called me."

"Only if you touch me again." She said mock sternly.

`_Oh shit_,' Shultz thought, `_just what I need_!'

"Okay baby but Bevsie has to tell Jimmy-kins what she knows whilst I'm playing with your love pillows." He rubbed his hands together to warm them and began massaging her under wired squashy marshmallows.

"Jimmy you are so good to me!" She said as she grabbed his hands.

"The information?" He prompted, eager to be out of the now-claustrophobic room.

"_Hmmn_? Oh yes, there's a police officer here."

Jim stopped his hands from roving over her for a second and she moaned in complaint. "A _cop_? Is he sick or here for some other procedure?" He inquired eagerly.

"Don't stop now and I'll tell you!"

He cursed her but carried on nevertheless.

"He's been shot."

That did it, Jim's hands popped her back inside her blouse in two seconds flat before getting his notepad and pencil out from his back pocket. He licked the top of his pencil, an unnecessary move but born of a habit and one that made him feel more like a serious reporter.

Noting the `back to business' signs, Beverly buttoned herself back up, "You're all heart Jimmy, you know that don't you?" She complained.

Shultz stared at his page, the beginnings of a story forming in his mind, "I know baby but you got your pay, now what gives?"

"All I know is that he was brought in two nights ago, gunshot wound to the stomach, he's in a private room upstairs. _Lots_ of people have been going in and out."

"What about you, can you get in there?"

Beverley shook her head, "No, Doctor Bergman is treating him, along with Doctor Forbes – he's an important neurosurgeon so there must be some head trauma too. Nurses flitting all over the place, but I'm too junior and it's not my ward."

Shultz's eyes screwed up, his blood was up and he was ready to sniff out the full story, "Visitors?"

"Sure, plenty. I've even seen the head man of Five-0, McGarry or something."

"McGarrett, _Steve McGarrett_?"

She nodded, "Right, that's him. He's been here a lot. I've passed the room; he just sits there, watching the other man – I think I saw him crying one time but I can't be sure."

Impulsively Jim leaned down and kissed her on the cheek, giving her breasts a quick squeeze. "Bev, you're a _genius_ – pure gold dust!"

She blushed and this time he could see the blood rising in her cheeks, "Did I do good?"

"Baby you did _more_ than good, I just need to get up there. What room is he in?"

"Oh no, you can't go up there! There are a lot of sick patients on that floor and he's one of them. They won't let you in - not a reporter!"

Jimmy grabbed a couple of towels off the shelf and a clean white coat from a pile lying on a stool and grinning, said, "I'm not a reporter now, am I?"

*******

Shultz kept his head down and strode purposefully toward the elevator, pressing the button for the third floor and hoping no one from hospital administration realized he wasn't staff. Thankfully he was alone as he rode to his destination.

As the doors clicked open he looked out into the corridor and seeing no one, let out the breath he had been holding, he turned right and headed for the room Beverley had told him the cop was in. As he rounded a corner he saw two white-coated men coming toward him, deep in conversation and he stood aside to let them pass and pretended to re-fold towels. As they went by he heard a snippet of their conversation, "Well, Danny's coma doesn't appear to be deep, I'm still worried about that fracture but we'll monitor him carefully Harry. You ought to tell Steve--,"

And then they were gone, still lost in conversation and never giving Shultz a second glance.

He wondered if they were talking about the patient he had come to see, he hoped so - `_**Cop in Coma'**_ was a headline he liked the sound of. He made his way to the room and, performing the same trick with the towels, surveyed the ward for signs of McGarrett or other visitors. He saw a nurse re-inserting a drip into her patient's arm and cursed. He would have to wait.

He didn't wait long as shortly afterwards she exited with an empty IV bag and some things for the furnace in a kidney dish. She too ignored him and he crept around the door frame and into the room as soon as she had gone.

The man in the bed looked awful, Shultz could see massive bruising beneath bandages and what looked like a splinted wrist, he couldn't see his face very well, covered as it was by an oxygen tent, and wondered if he brought a camera back next time whether he could get a few photographs – they would sell better than just a story. Tentatively, he unzipped the plastic and stared at the man in the bed through a gap. He couldn't be sure, given the bruising, but he thought he recognized the face, looking as still and gray as death as he breathed in and out like a robot.

He zipped the tent back up and went straight to the end of the bed to check the chart, when he saw the surname Williams, Jim thought his ship had come home, he almost whooped for joy. Putting the conversation in the corridor together with the name on the chart and the Five-0 connection he came up with a big name – Detective Dan Williams, Steve McGarrett's Second-in-Command - McGarrett's sidekick. He was definitely one sick man and Shultz would be the first with the story. The reporter was delighted and took note of as much information as possible resolving to get the news out in the evening papers, depending on who would buy. Jim laughed, _everyone_ would buy a story like this. He had a scoop. But he didn't know how much trouble he was about to cause.

********

"Tanilofa's a bad boy Steve, wrap sheet reads like a lifetime's worth of run-ins with the law - although his only convictions seem to be as a juvenile. Busted for car theft, he also verbally abused police officers on numerous occasions, he came close to battery at one point too, he certainly threatened it. He's one tough cookie Samoan with a hatred of the police. Latest brush with the HPD is pretty significant to this case though, his girlfriend brought attempted rape charges against him a month ago but for some reason she dropped them before the case went anywhere!"

Chin Ho Kelly, as promised, was delivering `the book' on their only suspect in Danny's assault so far. Steve was listening intently to what the Chinese detective had to say, fists clenched until the blood ran from them. "Current address?" He asked, tasting the desperation for Lupe at the back of his throat.

"Doesn't say. He was living with his Korean girlfriend – guess that's a starting point."

"Okay Chin, let's get going. I want to talk to his girl and find out why she didn't go ahead with the charge. You never know, our luck may be in and Tanilofa might be there."

As McGarrett marched back through the office, McGarrett's secretary held out a hand to stay her boss, "Steve, I've got Doctor Bergman on the phone, says it's important." Rather than waste time, he took the phone from her hand and glanced between Chin and Jenny, eyes wide in concern that something had happened to Danny.

"McGarrett, Doc what can I do for? Has Danno come round?" He asked hopefully.

At the end of the phone Harry Bergman cleared his throat, "It is about Danny Steve but I don't want you to be over concerned, it's just that he is in a coma and isn't showing signs of rousing – as yet. Forbes has done some tests and we think it isn't a deep one but it's worrying nevertheless. I just thought you ought to be aware; particularly as you were hoping for some kind of statement from him."

"_Coma_?" McGarrett repeated, as though he hadn't acknowledged the word, and beside him Jenny's breath hitched.

"Yes, but as I said, we think he will come out of it with time, when the swelling goes down but when that will be we're not sure."

"Is he in danger?"

"Well, let's just say we're monitoring his condition closely. He's not yet off the critical list. We'll let you know."

"Thanks Doc. I understand." McGarrett tried to compute the information and held onto the phone, even after Bergman had cut off.

"Steve?" Chin inquired, seeing his boss' face blanch with the news.

"Danno's in a coma but Doc says he thinks he will be okay – they're monitoring the situation."

"Oh boss! _Poor_ Danny!" Jenny exclaimed. She had no idea about the sexual assaults, she knew that Dan had been shot but McGarrett had confided only in the four officers he had briefed earlier. It wasn't that he mistrusted her, on the contrary, Steve trusted even the most confidential things to Jenny Sherman, but he knew how emotional she could be and believed that she wouldn't be able to contain her grief on Danny's behalf which would help none of them, Danno least of all.

"He'll be fine, Jenny." Steve said to placate her and passed her back the receiver.

Chin just raised an eyebrow.

"Come on, I want Kono to back us up, just in case Tanilofa is using his girlfriend's place as a bolt hole."

********

River Street, several blocks from China Town, provided a range of pest-infested apartments for a variety of people; some violent, some benign – but all poor. Close to Hotel Street, the dregs of society drifted outwards toward the Nimitz Highway and Honolulu Harbor, seeking cheap accommodation in an area that was trying to pull itself up by its boot strings to cope with the burgeoning Honolulu tourist trade. A red light district, it was downright dangerous by night and sleazy by day.

Rent was cheap and furnishings cheaper and this apartment building was no exception. As Chin was directed around the back of the run-down complex where Lupe's ex-girlfriend lived, McGarrett and Kono took the creaking stairs, weapons drawn in case their suspect was in residence.

McGarrett rounded the top of the staircase and read the numbers on the door until he spotted the one they were looking for. Going ahead of his boss, Kono stood to one side as Steve knocked and announced, "Police, we'd like to talk to you Miss Choi."

He waited and heard the clatter of plates and some words that McGarrett took to be Korean. Eventually the door opened and a pretty, but worn, face poked through the crack. Steve stepped in front of the door and showed the girl his badge.

"Wot you want?" Choi Min-Jee asked curtly.

"Can we come in, we'd like to ask you some questions."

"Wot 'bout?"

There was more noise in the background followed by what Steve thought from the tone was an order from a woman inside. Min-Jee answered in her own language then reluctantly opened the door, bowing her head as Steve and Kono stepped inside.

The wafting smell of pork and cabbage hit them and Kono's stomach growled in hunger whilst Steve wrinkled his nose in distaste. He had disturbed their meal and nodded to the occupants as he apologized for interrupting them. McGarrett introduced them both and asked the girl and her elderly grandmother about Lupe. As soon as Steve mentioned the name, Min-Jee's grandmother started jabbering excitedly and gesticulating at McGarrett. He hadn't a clue what the wrinkled old woman was saying and had to rely on the girl to translate.

"She says you should lock him away forever, that he is _bad_." Her face was turned away from both detectives as she looked at the peeling wallpaper. It was then that Steve noticed a tear in the corner of her eye.

"Is that what you think Miss Choi?" Steve asked gently looking down at the thin but curvaceous body before him, her long black hair shining in the poor light of the apartment window.

At that point Chin Ho came to the door and Steve waved him away with a shake of his head. There wasn't enough room for two people in the cramped living quarters, let alone five.

"I agree with grand mother." Ignoring Chin's arrival and departure, she spat on the floor.

"May we ask you some questions about him?"

Min-Jee shrugged her shoulders but still couldn't look McGarrett in the eye. He took that as a sign to continue and added, "Do you know where he is? It's _very_ important we find him."

"No." This time she turned back to face him and there was fire in her eyes. "I never wan see that _bastard_ again!"

"We know about the charges you brought against him, miss." Kono threw in, "Can you tell us why you dropped them?"

"No."

Sitting at the kitchen table, Min-Jee's grandmother spoke again, and again the young woman answered her. "She wants to know wot you want him for."

Steve swallowed hard, wondering whether he should reveal anything to the girl. It was part of an ongoing investigation and in order to protect Danny he didn't want to say anything about his involvement but he wanted the girl to tell him what she knew. "We believe he hurt a good friend of mine." He admitted to both women, hoping she would empathize.

She studied Steve's handsome face, trying to gauge the truth in his dark blue eyes and seemed to understand, although no words were spoken. "Like me?" she asked at last.

Steve closed his eyes and nodded, "Like you."

Min-Jee sighed heavily and almost broke down. Her grandmother came to put her hands on her granddaughter's shoulders in support, not knowing what was said but understanding the set of her grandchild's body.

"Will you help us?" Kono asked quietly.

"I will help you." She replied firmly.

"Then we will help you Miss Choi." McGarrett added softly.

In a broken conversation, Choi Min-Jee gave them an address. She didn't know the names of Lupe's friends, nor had she met them, but she had been to the chop-shop Tanilofa had been working at. She had never been inside, just told to wait outside while he conducted his business. She had been scared of her lover and always did as she was told rather than risk a beating. McGarrett understood that Lupe had threatened her grandmother if Min-Jee went ahead with the assault charge against him and had given her a black eye for her pains. After that she kept quiet.

Steve made a bargain with her, he told her and her grandmother that Five-0 would bring Tanilofa into custody and in return she would testify against him at the trial, saying that she had been sexually assaulted by him on more than one occasion. McGarrett promised her he would get the Samoan off the streets – and he _meant_ it.

*****


	12. Back To The Lair

AUTHOR'S NOTE: Many thanks for the kind reviews, I am glad you seem to be enjoying the story and promise lots more to come with some surprises so hope you will stick with it. Feedback if very welcome. MM

CHAPTER 12: Back to the Lair

The place was blanketed; front, back and surrounds – not an exit in sight. Following Min-Jee's tip off, McGarrett had the garage covered tighter than a fishing net and on his orders closed his fist around the place, sealing it off before he, Chin, Kono and the others stormed in, guns drawn and shouts of `_Police_!' ringing in their ears.

No one was there, the place was deserted and of all the emotions he could feel Steve felt childishly cheated. He had built himself up to the possibility that they would catch Lupe Tanilofa or his accomplices and now all he experienced was a hollow emptiness, like someone had pushed him to the ground and stolen his identity. It wasn't hard to figure that he would find no one there but still, in the back of his mind, there had been a modicum of hope; now dashed. But evidence there could be aplenty and Kono's solid presence at his shoulder reminded him of that.

They looked around, careful not to disturb anything - checking for anyone hidden from plain sight, their first priority to secure the scene. The garage was by no means stripped, tools lay discarded and materials cluttered up benches. It wasn't immediately apparent whether the owners were gone for good or if they had temporarily deserted it - intent on returning. McGarrett had to remind himself that as far as Danny's assailants were concerned he was considered long dead and his body missing. Still, they would be stupid indeed if they had stayed – stupid or arrogant. He decided they were a little of both.

The window panes were dust-laden and streaked with old grime and he found it hard to see when his back was turned to the entrance - the light streaming in the opening blinding him momentarily, motes of dust traversing his line of sight like microscopic snowflakes on a breeze. Steve turned around and with a jerk that was physical in its intensity, saw something that tore at his heart. On a scarred wooden table top was what looked to be dark, dried blood. He saw it before anyone else had and found it hard to resist the urge to touch what his gut instinct told him was the place they had violated his friend. It was Danny's blood. His hand hovered over the table, barely a fraction of an inch over the top. Shakily he began moving it; palm sweeping slowly across the surface, fingertips twitching as though he could feel the pain emanating from the dead wood - Danno's pain, Danno's body. Several times he paused in his examination as he spotted things dried there that he had no business imagining were real. But he wasn't imagining it, they were real and this was yet another reminder of the abuse Williams had suffered.

Suddenly he lifted his hand and clenched it tightly into a ball, his fingernails digging so deeply into the flesh of his palm that he withdrew blood, the pain ridiculously soothing. Something came at him side on, a draft of air ruffling his hair as a shadow shot across and up. It was a bird and Steve followed its path until it settled noisily into the rafters and stared down, marble eye fixed on the Five-0 Chief. It was obviously familiar with the place and he couldn't help wondering aloud, "What would you tell us if you could speak? Did you see him?"

"See _who_? Are you okay boss?" Kono asked gently, tracing Steve's gaze to the roof.

Reluctantly Steve tore his eyes from the brown creature and bit his cheek. It was a straightforward question but McGarrett couldn't cope with the sympathy in Kono's tone and wasn't sure if he was capable of responding.

"Steve!" Chin Ho called from the other side of the shed, "Got something here."

Grateful for the interruption, McGarrett joined his colleague. Chin had found some papers slotted inside a semi-pornographic girlie calendar that had dropped behind a rusty oil drum. Whilst another man ogled Miss January, Kelly held up a coffee-stained bill in his handkerchief, "Got a name on it we've not seen before Steve – a mister M. Kaika."

"Good work, any address?"

Kelly shook his head, "Care of here – nothing new except the name."

"How old?"

"Dated over a year ago, and it's overdue – might be something in that."

"Get onto it right away, the company might have a record of a forwarding or previous address if they're regular customers. The place is rented so Kaika could have leased it to Tanilofa, or he could be another one of Danno's attackers. Either way we need to track him down."

"Hey sir?" An HPD Officer interrupted, "We have more blood back there in a locker room – at least it looks like blood. You might want to check it out."

"Kono, get Che Fong and the lab boys here right away – you know the drill – I want this place covered from top to bottom and I want a fast turnaround." He then turned to the officer, "Okay, show me."

"Over here," the young man replied and walked to the back of the garage.

Peering into the closet, McGarrett knelt down and touched his finger over the sharp edge of a License plate illuminated by the Officer's flashlight, "It is blood - probably Williams'."

'Might account for his leg wound Steve?" Chin suggested and Steve nodded.

"I think they must have put him in here at some point – he struggled though," McGarrett noted the cans of paint, old vehicle plates and jumble of things strewn around the cramped space. "Look at the plate numbers, seem familiar? I think we've found our car thieves - this has to be their chop shop."

_'Oh God Danno you stumbled into a snakes nest - what did they do to you?'_ He thought bitterly, then got up and thumped the side of the door frame. "I want this whole place taken apart, not _one thing_ left to chance!" he said angrily.

*******

McGarrett had been disappointed the coins from the phone booth hadn't yielded the answer to the mystery caller's identity, plenty of prints but most of them were partials and those that weren't had so far proved useless. As he made his way back to the office he felt better knowing that they now had two names. Until he had proof he wasn't sure if Kaika, whoever he might be, was one of the men who had assaulted Danny but there was no evidence to the contrary either and since the assault had taken place at his garage it was reasonable to assume Kaika was involved.

He pulled into his usual parking spot in the Palace grounds, glad to get away from the awful scene of Dan's assault and it's evidence and sat there for a moment, the engine cooling as he contemplated returning to the hospital and Danny's bedside. Doc Bergman had said that Danny wasn't in a deep coma but the mere use of the word sent him into panic mode. Whilst his mind was focused on catching the perpetrators he was also badly distracted by his concern for his Second-in-Command.

That concern only increased when a few minutes later, having decided to go back to the hospital after dealing with some things that couldn't wait, a paper was thrust into his midriff by Duke who met him at the door to his office.

"Steve you have to look at this!" Duke said.

Steve could tell the Hawaiian was worried and took the paper, turning it over in his hands until he read the headlines. His intake of breath was audible. "When did you get this?" he asked.

"Just now, a messenger brought it over from the paper. It appears the Editor thought it best to let us know what was being printed in this evening's news!"

"Not if I can help it!" He stepped out of his office, "Jenny – get me Waldon O'Brien at the Star-Bulletin on the phone _now_."

"Right away boss."

He walked back in, reading the column as he did so and sat heavily in his chair. "Have you read this Duke?"

Lukela nodded gravely.

"This is serious, someone's talked and now we're going to have the press breathing down our necks and if the men who shot Danny read this they'll know he's alive and scatter, or worse. This is a _mess_!"

Just then the intercom buzzed and Steve answered, "Hold O'Brien for a second would you love," he asked Jenny before adding, "Duke, I want you to brief everyone – tell them if I can't stop the papers from printing the story about Danno then I want each and every one of them to refer press or inquiries direct to me and no one, but _no one_ is to see Danno, understood?"

"Sure Steve."

"Good, now let me see if I can stop them from making a big mistake."

He turned back to the phone, "Okay Jenny, put him through."

*******

Even open threats didn't work and O'Brien proved unhelpful in convincing the paper's Chief to back down on the story. He couldn't even extract the source of the information and Steve knew then that he was beaten; beaten and tired. Normally he knew which strings to pull to make things go his way but try as he might nothing worked in his favor, Waldon was more often than not sympathetic to McGarrett's pleas but for some reason didn't want to play ball, particularly since it involved one of Steve's own team. It was news, plain and simple and the readers loved news.

Steve was edgy and needed a break but he needed to see Danny more. Instructing everyone to contact him via radio or the hospital, he set off.

******

"-so you see Danno, we're getting there. We'll catch them I promise you and when you are better we can take that trip to Lana'i and you can go scuba diving in those cathedrals and grottoes you're always talking about while I catch us some lunch and…,"

Steve trailed off, unable to keep up the pretense any longer as he clutched Danny's cold and unresponsive hand fiercely. He had been sitting by his friend's beside, updating him on everything and half wondering whether he would see those crystal blue eyes gaze back at him as he did so, accusing him of not coming to his rescue. Danny now had oxygen filtering through nasal tubes and in some ways Steve found it harder to look at the young man's face exposed than when he was half-obscured by the plastic tent.

Some friend he was, he couldn't protect those he loved from evil nor from something as simple as keeping reporters away. He couldn't even find Danny when he was held captive; hell – he didn't even _realize_ he was missing until it was too late – _far_ too late.

"And when I find out who blew the story they will be sorry. I promise you Danno - but you need to promise me something too. You need to promise you will fight this with every breath you have and that you won't let them win. You won't let them be responsible for breaking you. I know how hard it will be…

Steve stopped once more, feeling foolish - he _didn't_ know how hard it would be for Danny, in truth he couldn't begin to imagine the horrors that Dan would awake to. Danny Williams as was, was gone, the future Danno would forever be tainted by what those men did to him.

"Oh God my friend, I'm sorry – I'm so _very_, _very sorry_…if you don't wake up, I don't know what I'll do…,"

Doctor David Forbes had come in quietly behind Steve and was watching, hands in his coat pockets. He saw the muscles tense across the Five-0 Chief's shoulders and then slump. "Mister McGarrett," the surgeon said calmly as he placed a light hand on Steve's shoulder, Steve turned; thinking he had been alone he flushed immediately in embarrassment.

"I'm sorry, I couldn't help but overhear a portion of what you said to our young patient there and I wanted to tell you that I don't think all is as bad as it seems, at least physically – mentally, well that's not my area of expertise I'm afraid although we can cross that bridge when we come to it."

"How can it _not_ be as bad as it seems, Doctor?" Steve said and self-consciously released Danny's hand and placed it on the bed covers.

Forbes drew up another chair and straddled it backwards, his long spindly legs draping over the sides of the pre-formed plastic. He crossed his arms over the chair back and collected his thoughts. "Harry Bergman thinks Danny's wounds will heal nicely and whilst I am concerned about his fracture, I am less worried than I would be if he wasn't showing some signs of awareness."

"He's _aware_?" McGarrett said, feeling perhaps Danny had indeed heard everything he'd been saying to him over the past half an hour and not sure he was comfortable with that idea.

"He's not awake but he has responded to some stimuli so I'm hopeful that he will come out of the coma sooner rather than later."

"Any idea when?" he asked, hopefully.

"I'm afraid I can't tell you that. No one can. We can just watch and wait but my instinct is that he will pull through this."

"He'd _better_, Doctor."

*******

"Shit Mano have you seen da papers?" Rachet Kaika slammed the door behind him, making the windows rattle in their frames and bringing the cool night air into the house with him. His brother was picking over an old engine on the kitchen table, head down as he concentrated on his work. Ratchet's panicked entrance set his teeth on edge and he slipped with a screwdriver and almost stabbed himself.

"What can be so important Ratch that you come blasting in here like a whirlwind man!?" Mano said angrily.

"Fuck we're screwed – we are SO screwed!"

Mano left off his work and looked earnestly at his brother's face under the strip lighting, he'd rarely seen Ratchet so spooked and it unsettled him, "Well are you going to tell me what's wrong or do I have to guess?" he asked.

"It's da cop! It's da _fucking_ cop! He's still alive Mano – da paper says so, Koa didn't finish him off, he _lied_ to us!"

Mano grabbed the newspaper and read for himself, flicking the paper angrily with the back of his hand, "Damn, this can't be right; where da fuck is Koa? I'll _kill_ that mahu bastard!"

"Screw Koa _we_ need to get out of here bruddah – they'll be coming for us!" Ratchet ran a sweaty hand through his greasy hair and began to pace, "He's going to talk, Williams is going to talk and then we're done for! I knew we shouldn't have left Koa and da kid to do it – I had a gut feeling he'd let us down. First he lets Sammie get away and now _this_. I should have shot that pig and dumped him myself!"

"Calm down and let me think about this for a second will you? Da cop didn't know our names and we've left da old place so even if he did lead them to da garage there's no way they can find us here, there's no connection. They will have our descriptions but those could fit any one of hundreds of people. We've got time bruddah – we just need to hang loose and arrange a way out of here, just keep your cool and we will work this out."

"They won't let us leave, don't you get it Mano we're _sunk_! Done for, and all because of Koa and that young bastard. If Sammie had just done as he was told none of this would ever have happened. I don't want to go to prison again, _I can't go_!"

"Steady my brother, none of us is going to prison. Does Lupe know about this yet?" Mano inquired, dropping the paper to the table and folding his beefy arms across his chest.

'No, I don't think so – Lu doesn't read da papers."

"Then we've gotta warn him – tell him to not to come back here, best to split. We'll wait until this blows over in case they're looking for us at da ports. Lupe is going to have to fend for himself. I am looking forward to our cousin getting back here – he's got a _helluva_ lot coming to him!"

"Koa's a liability bruddah – just like Sammie."

"Then maybe we ought to take care of them both – _permanently_."

*****

It was past one a.m. and Koa had been drinking again, he knew it was bad for his health, particularly as he didn't eat whilst bingeing on the alcohol but he couldn't help himself. Ever since the day he shot the Five-0 detective he had vanished inside a bottle, sinking himself into a good body and a haze each evening in an attempt to keep the images at bay, he knew the risks associated with his predilections but didn't give a flying fig right now. He was useless, he had lost Sammie and he had lost his soul. He couldn't even hold a spanner in his hands without his wrist shaking uncontrollably and his cousins getting angry with him, they only put up with presence because of his connection by flesh. He was ohana but he wanted out, he knew he had been used to do their dirty work and it was eating him alive.

As he stumbled out of his car and around the back of the house he tripped on something in the dark and fell heavily against the porch holding a finger against his lips and gurgling "_Sshhhh_" loudly. A light came on inside, immediately illuminating him as he sprawled on the decking holding his head to stop it spinning and squinting whilst the light painfully hit his retina.

Angry hands dragged him inside and he was pulled upright against a wall, fingers bruising his arms. Mano's dark eyes glared at him and he had the fleeting impression he was looking into the face of the Devil himself. He blinked and saw Ratchet sitting in a chair, cross legged and holding a baseball bat, he was thumping it against his palm like a meat tenderizer. Neither man looked happy to see him and Koa felt an embarrassing trickle of wet against his inside leg, drunk as he was he knew his luck had just run out.

"Welcome home. We just got da evening newspaper!" Mano said menacingly just as something heavy connected with the side of Koa's head and consciousness left him for the last time.

*******


	13. Unraveling

CHAPTER 13 – Unraveling

Almost two weeks had passed, the search for the criminals went on just as frantically as it had begun and justice ticked alongside injustice. Lupe Tanilofa and the man they now knew as Mano Kaika had disappeared – no trace of either, just as McGarrett had feared.

For Danny Williams it was a case of hour blending into hour - medication, dressings, sheets, visitors - all changed but not the young detective; as his body gradually healed his mind stayed away from the present and he was lost to those who cared about him. He was turned and manipulated to avoid his muscles tightening up and occasionally his body twitched but otherwise there was no obvious sign of him returning. Dead to the waking world.

As Steve McGarrett paced alongside his 2-I-C's bed he closed his own mind to the noise - the sound of wheels on linoleum and the steady rhythmic hum of machinery. The smell though was something he couldn't get used to. It pervaded his senses and drained through his nose and mouth to his olfactory organs and made him feel nauseous. It clung to his clothing like tendrils of smoke and each time he visited he brought it home with him; a reminder of where he spent much of his - _too_ much time.

He didn't belong there. McGarrett's territory was Five-0, the Palace with its cracked plaster and warm oiled wood, not some hygienically clinical corridor that oozed chemicals and the memory of pain.

He loathed it and loathed even more the reason for his being there. But for all of his hatred of the hospital he couldn't help but be thankful for its existence for without it a very special man would be cold and buried by now and he would have lost a large piece of himself to the earth.

McGarrett was outwardly composed, asking the right questions and pushing for answers. He maintained his visage just long enough to get himself through the public areas, passing muster with the clinical staff. Never a hair out of place - or so it seemed. He was head of an important unit and he would not let them see him break.

But inside he _was_ broken, and when he finally pulled himself from Danny's silent bedside each night he felt the weight of responsibility and loathed that too. The worst was loneliness, he dreaded it – the heavy shroud that settled over his shoulders when he left his partner behind, even the quiet presence of his second was reassuring to him.

For someone with many colleagues and friends it was remarkable how many were nowhere in sight through the long torturous vigil of care. Most of them expressed sympathy in those first few days then disappeared into the night with gratuitous blessings and shallow well wishes. Thank God they didn't know the truth of what Dan Williams had been through or they would have run a mile rather than want to face his friend.

Those who worked with Danny both before and since joining Five-0 were there to pay homage, say their piece, nod, bring flowers, wring their hands, appear shocked at the young man's condition and go back to their lives none the worse for it. Of all of them only the faithful few seemed sincere. Kono insisted on being there more than he had to and Chin Ho too watched over his friend's battered body like a portly Angel on a gravestone. Steve often caught them talking to Danny believing the young detective could hear every word that was said. Whether he could or not, it was a comfort to him and goodness knew how much he himself had poured out to his youngest detective during the long vigils.

Duke Lukela was a frequent visitor as was Governor Jameson, the former a good friend, the latter concerned for both Danny's welfare and Steve's mental well being; although McGarrett got a sense that much of that had to do with who would run Five-0 if Steve collapsed.

The hours passed, the prognosis was the same. Wait – and see. His wounds were healing. This too would pass.

McGarrett knew the number of steps it took from the elevator to Dan's room and from the staircase to the corridor. He had counted them many times, both in dread and anticipation.

The dread was the worst. Some hour, some day Danno would awaken and then what? How could he face the younger man when knowledge of what had happened to him lay heavy in his heart? More importantly how could Danny survive through his own memories of that awful day? Steve could not contemplate the anguish and suffering his friend had been made to endure. It broke his heart – _privately_.

Anticipation came in the form of necessity. McGarrett needed Danny's testimony and memories of the men who had assaulted him. The law demanded justice and McGarrett required revenge. With descriptions there might be closure – for them all.

So he paced, and counted and inhaled the cocktail of aromas and most of all he prayed.

Today started out like every other day for the past week or more – Steve had his ritual morning run, showered, dressed, gulped down coffee and cereal before heading over to the hospital, with each turn of the car's wheels another thought crossed his mind; each one more worrying than the next. Each morning he prayed that Williams would come out of his coma and just as fervently he hoped he would not. Steve acknowledged his cowardice in the matter, understanding that his need for Danny to be well again and by his side battled with his own guilt at not finding him sooner. He wasn't quite sure how to face his protégé and friend when he finally surfaced, nor how Danny himself would cope with everyone knowing he had been raped. Other thoughts too accompanied his journey; black images of revenge tinged with his cop's sense of justice – both vying for his attention, and should he ever have the chance to come face to face with Danny's abusers he genuinely wasn't sure which path he would choose. His knuckles had tightened on the leather steering wheel at that thought.

So far they had very little luck on finding the men responsible – the Five-0 team worked tirelessly to chase down clues and squeeze informants. This time even Kono and Chin's legendary relatives were quiet – nothing shook the monsters loose. They had names – they just didn't have bodies. McGarrett found it hard to believe on a rock the size of Oahu that the word hadn't gone out that Steve was hunting; or perhaps it _had_ – perhaps word of his impending wrath together with the newspaper reports of Danny's shooting had stuffed the rabbits so firmly back in their holes that not even the most determined terrier was able to coax them out. But he wouldn't give up. He would _never_ give up. Danny was depending on him and he wouldn't let his friend down again.

Somewhere in the echoing corridor a telephone rang and Steve was shunted out of his reverie by its persistence. Irritated that no one had answered and wondering if it was for him, he took one last glance as Danny's still form and brushed his hand gently across the pale man's cheek then, after noting no change, went out to track down the source of the noise.

Mere seconds after Steve left, Danny's hand began spasming and his eyes fluttered open.

*******

"No, please – leave him alone!! _Stop_!"

Ella Easson rolled onto her side, squinting in the subdued morning sunlight as it oozed through the thin purple curtains. Checking the clock for the time, she relaxed knowing she wasn't late for work and studied the dreaming form next to her. Sammie was curled up in a fetal position, thin legs drawn tightly up to his chest and sheets wrapped around his sleeping form. He was perspiring badly and his whole body twitched as he lay on the mattress next to her.

"_Don't shoot!" _

"Sam? Sammie? It's okay…" she shook him lightly and tried waking him up. Ever since he turned up on Hetty's doorstep Sam had been having recurring nightmares. After Koa's disturbing visit and much soul searching about helping the young man who had caused her own sister and niece much grief, Ella's aunt convinced the young woman to find somewhere safer for them both. The couple had ended up in a budget motel far off the beaten track and hopefully far safer too. Ella's father had no idea that Sam Baxter was back in his daughter's life but her mother, Ava, conspired with her – knowing her daughter to be stubborn enough to make good on her threat never to see her parents again if she did not co-operate. Having witnessed first hand the brutality and threats of Lupe Tanilofa when he came looking for Ella, Ava was anxious to keep her daughter safe and if that meant allowing Sammie to stay with her then that was how it would be; although she would have preferred the troubled young man stay clear of her and her family permanently.

"Sammie…you're safe now, wake up!" Ella pleaded and with a heavy sob Sam's eyes opened and he turned over to stare at her, back lit as she was by the filtered daylight. His face registered the remnants of his dream and he looked terrified. "Hey, it's okay." She said softly and brushed a damp curl from his forehead.

Sam reached for her hand and kissed the palm of it before pressing it to his naked chest, feeling the warmth of her skin caress his heart and the reality of a non-threatening presence, "Oh Ella I was so scared!"

"Sssh, no one is here. They won't find us."

Sammie sat up in bed and leaned against the rickety brown headboard. He felt strange, as though the world he awoke to wasn't the right one and the real world was the one he'd just left in his sleep. It was closing in on him; the nightmares were getting worse, he dreaded sleep for each night he lost the fight to stop the men from assaulting the detective and he felt his cowardice seep into his soul with the shot from Koa's gun. He was conscious of her staring at him with love and sympathy and felt her strength adding to his weakness and bolstering him up. He had made a decision.

"I can't stand this any more El. I'm going to the cops." He stated simply.

Ella rose on one elbow and gave him a peck on his lips. "Good." Was all she replied.

*******

McGarrett reached the phone at the nurse's station in a dead heat with the Staff nurse who glared at him menacingly as her hand closed on top of his on the receiver. He backed off, realizing that he had pushed his authority a little too often of late (and won), without needlessly resorting to fighting over a hospital telephone. She smiled at him, relishing the small victory and answered it only to raise an eyebrow and concede defeat before handing it over to McGarrett.

He shrugged his shoulders apologetically and took it from the woman with thanks before turning his back for a modicum of privacy, "McGarrett!"

"Steve, Chin."

"Morning Chin, what's the problem?"

"How's Danny?"

"No change in his condition, Doc still doesn't know how long it will be – but that's not all you rang for is it?" McGarrett said intuitively.

"No Steve, a body of a man was found in a ditch this morning. Looks like he's been murdered."

"Who was it? Any identification?"

"Young Hawaiian possibly by the name of Lukina, no wallet on him but we found a partially washed out medic alert card tucked into the back of his pants with what could be his name scrawled on it - he must have forgotten it was there. He's been dead for a while Steve."

"I'll bring Doc with me – get Che Fong out there, I'm on my way."

******

In the shadow of a stand of Kukui trees the pathetic body of Koa Lukina lay face down in the moist dirt of a deep gully, the hideous wounds on the back of his stoved-in head and the remnants of the expensive clothing he wore were all but disguised by the advanced stage of putrefaction his corpse was undergoing. It was clear to McGarrett and the rest of the officers that this man, whoever he was, had been lying in the ditch for some time.

The insect activity was grotesque and the smell was unbearable - even in the open air arena of the resting place it wafted back on the men with fury. As he clutched his handkerchief to his nose Steve made a mental note not to complain about the aroma of the hospital next time he visited Danny. He never did get used to the scent of death.

Harry Bergman on the other hand had the olfactory equivalent of the constitution of a Ox and whilst his face showed a gamut of emotions, none of them was the queasiness Steve or the policemen around him were experiencing. He crouched down beside the unfortunate man and made his pronouncement, "I won't be able to tell you with any certainty Steve until I've conducted an autopsy but from the looks of him I'd say he's been dead between ten to fourteen days – but that's still a maybe."

"Cause of death?" Steve muffled the question through the covering on his mouth.

"Again I can't say without the autopsy but the back of his skull is definitely fractured and that certainly played a hand in this young man's demise."

Steve shook his head, "Chin said there was a medic alert card on him, could that have contributed or do you think we're looking at murder here Doc?"

"I'll check the diabetes angle but as for pronouncing unlawful killing – that's not my job Steve, I give you the facts as I find them then I leave you experts to make a case. If I'd have to guess though I'd say it could be murder, there appear to be several distinct fractures – one blow to the back of the head could be accidental but two or more is rather suspect!"

"My thoughts exactly, mahalo, I'll be in touch this afternoon."

As he left the medical examiner and the lab boys covering the scene McGarrett stepped into some fresher air and hailed for Chin to join him. "Run a check on Lukina. Don't ask me how I know Chin but I have a suspicion that this is linked to Danny's assault somehow. Call it a hunch but if Doc's right there's a chance this man died around the time that story about Danno was leaked to the press."

Chin looked perplexed, "That's a big leap boss, this guy could be anyone and we don't know if it was murder yet!"

"I know but something is churning away at my gut, there's a connection here I can feel it. Doesn't look like a simple mugging to me, even though he has no wallet on him. I want top priority for this case!"

"Okay Steve, but if you're right what does this mean?"

"_That_ is the big question my friend. I could be completely wrong but I think things might just be starting to unravel."

*******

This time she noticed.

As the nurse with the long face stared down at him his eyes blinked and focused on her and this time she saw it, he tracked her with his solemn gaze.

"Mister Williams can you hear me?" She asked softly, eager to know if her patient was truly coming out of his comatose state at last. No response but hardly surprising since coming round took time but this was a very good sign and one she had to tell Doctors Berman and Forbes about immediately.

*********

"Boss you have a caller holding on line one – won't give his name but he insisted on waiting until you got back." Jenny Sherman announced as McGarrett breezed into the office, face like thunder.

"Okay love, give me a minute then put him through. Any chance of a coffee?" He almost begged.

"Of course, coffee coming right up!"

As Steve hit the safety of his office he felt momentarily disorientated. The sight and smell of the ditch in the forest had done nothing for his demeanor nor the light-headedness he felt from days of being on edge. Coming back to his domain he should have felt better but the lack of Danny Williams made even this place he called his home appear unreal and empty somehow. He swiftly took off his jacket and loosened his tie before pressing his weary bones back into the safety of his chair.

Within seconds a coffee appeared on his desk as if by magic and all he could do was muster a half-smile in return. Jenny put the caller through.

"McGarrett." He stated tiredly.

"Er…Mister McGarrett, we spoke a few weeks ago."

Steve sat up straight, tensing and the back of his neck prickled as he recognized the caller the moment he spoke. He automatically reached the tape recorder and pressed the play and record buttons simultaneously. "I remember." He stated flatly and heard a corresponding intake of breath.

"I…I need to talk to you."

"What about?" McGarrett asked nonchalantly even though his heart was racing fast.

"Mister Williams. I…ah…I want to tell you what I know."

So this was it, what he had sensed earlier when he said to Chin that things were coming undone – he could FEEL it. "Tell me your name first."

There was silence from the speaker but Steve thought he heard a woman's voice in the background – he was concentrating so hard on the caller that he lost focus of the room around him and didn't notice Kono step up to his desk or he may have asked for a trace to be run.

"Your _name_?" He repeated.

"Not yet. I…I want to meet you somewhere, somewhere alone. I didn't kill him, you _have_ to believe me!"

"Kill who?" Steve asked, wondering about the decomposing body in the ditch.

"Detective Williams - I didn't hurt him!"

Confusion in the voice; the kid - for kid was what he was - sounded scared and obviously hadn't seen the papers – the news about Danny's shooting had slowed to a trickle but the flood had been enough that most Hawaiians would have read, seen or heard about it and would have known Williams was lying in a coma. Wherever the young man had been for the last fortnight it wasn't in touch.

"Why should I believe that?"

"But…but I told you where to find him, you DID find him didn't you?"

Steve wanted to try something on the kid from his hunch earlier, "Who is Koa Lukina?" He asked and was rewarded with a very audible, "_Shit_!" at the end of the phone which was the only answer he received; but it was enough.

More sounds in the background and it was clear that whoever was with him was either trying to stop, or encourage the young man from continuing the conversation. Fearing he might lose the boy again Steve ignored the fact his question hadn't been answered and said quickly. "I'll meet you. Where and when?"

A pause.

"In the car park behind the Muumuu Factory in half an hour. Do you know it?"

"Kapi'olani Boulevard yes I know it."

"Mister McGarrett, I can't live with what I know. Please be there alone, I'll wait five minutes - any more and I'm gone!"

As the phone went dead Steve banged the receiver lightly against the side of his head and closed his eyes. "Oh Danno!" He exclaimed out loud, thinking himself to be alone and as he depressed the stop button on the tape recorder was suddenly aware of the large Hawaiian detective in his space.

"Everything okay boss?" The olive-skinned man inquired.

Without looking up Steve replied, "You know Kono I'm not really sure – I was right though; it all seems to be unraveling."

*****


	14. Rage is Good For The Soul

CHAPTER 14 – Rage is Good For The Soul

Sammie bit his nails and paced nervously up and down; sticking to the shadow beneath the fire escape at the back of the factory. He chose to stay close to the wall for safety, not trusting his former friends not to have located him now he was in the open. Checking the watch he had borrowed from Ella for the umpteenth time he swore under his breath - five minutes to go. He just hoped the Five-0 chief would keep his word.

He told his girl to wait for him back at the apartment and that he wouldn't be long but knew that was a lie – there was no way he would be able to cough up to the police and then expect them to let him go. He was an accessory to rape and murder or a witness at the very least, and Sammie couldn't forget his part in the car thefts either – he would have to pay for that too.

He ran a hand through his thick wiry hair, perspiration trickling between his shoulder blades as he weighed up his options. He couldn't live with what had happened but he was just about to give himself up to the cops and that was one of the hardest decisions he had ever had to face. His freedom for the truth and a good night's guilt-free sleep. He felt like a stranger in his own skin as it rippled around him and his stomach cramped mercilessly. Was he doing the right thing?

Wishing he had chosen somewhere else for the meet, he stepped out from under the metal staircase and surveyed the area – _nothing_. No cops, no McGarrett and thankfully little activity. A few cars came and went but it was a staff parking lot and most of the vehicle's owners were inside, running up garments for tourists and locals.

Sam spun around as he heard tires screeching - someone turned into the lot, bouncing over the curb and hastily parked their car in a cloud of urban dust. He ducked back under the fire escape and peered out from the relative safety of his hiding place. The engine died but whoever the driver was he or she wasn't moving; just sitting in the mud-caked tan sedan, face invisible.

He couldn't run but his guts were knotting and although he didn't recognize the car Sam felt the hairs prickling at the back of his neck and the fight or flight adrenalin surge kick in.

Sam felt pupule; although he had checked for a tail when Ella drove him there he had only been looking for recognizable vehicles; the ones that Koa, Ratchet, Mano and Lupe drove – not for someone sticking close to them. Now he saw the tan car it registered in his mind that he'd seen it behind them on their way there. He panicked. It wasn't any cop car he knew and he doubted very much that McGarrett would have had him followed since he was pretty sure the Five-0 detective would keep his word and besides they didn't know who Sam was yet. It crossed his mind that one of the men had found their apartment and he suddenly thought Ella might be in terrible danger.

Where was McGarrett? Although he couldn't say for sure Sammie knew that someone was waiting for him to show, he heard the squeak of a car door opening and almost lost control of his bowel.

"_McGarrett where are you?!"_ He whispered and crouched down low, praying that the man who was getting out of the car wouldn't see him. Whoever it was had his back turned to the kid but the heavy-set outline was unmistakable – it was _Lupe_. Lupe had found him before he could reach the safety of the cops. He had managed to avoid everyone for weeks and now, the very moment he needed a lawman, ironically there were none in sight.

Lupe Tanilofa took a gun from his pocket and eased down the line of cars, boots scuffling on the rough cracked concrete, checking inside and under each vehicle; head turning left and right as he searched for prey.

His short-cropped head glistened in the sun like a bullet and the black leather jacket and sunglasses gave him a sinister look that was well warranted. As Lupe prowled the parking lot Sammie tried hiding behind a strong smelling garbage dumpster buzzing with bloated iridescent flies. As he crept behind the monstrous black object he slipped on a shiny piece of discarded material and panicked. To stop his fall he put out a hand and the dumpster slid forward on its wheels, the staircase taking the brunt of the knock and bringing it to a halt but not before letting off a noise like cymbals crashing.

Without so much as a curse, Sammie ran.

Lupe heard the noise as clear as a bell and knew he had found what he sought. The stocky Samoan's head popped up from behind a car and he spied Sam moving at a rate of knots towards the parking lot entrance. Weapon raised, he gave chase on foot; muscles pumping and a wide grin on his pock-marked face.

*********

Steve McGarrett headed towards the Muumuu Factory, he was barely a minute late but his pulse was racing nevertheless. If this really was the break he was looking for then he could face Danny with confidence knowing that one of his abusers was in custody at least. He pushed the pedal to the floor, eager for answers.

As he turned from Piikoi onto Ala Moana headed toward the factory he saw someone in the distance running away from his direction. It was a young man and from his body language he was scared. Steve noted the way he continually checked behind him and experience told him the kid was being chased. He pulled the car inelegantly into a space and swiftly grabbed his gun, aware that if his instincts were wrong he could be getting involved in something that could mean he missed the meet. But the coincidence seemed too strong; it had to be tied up somehow and the voice of the mystery informant was young – just a kid. He made a quick call to Dispatch to inform them of the situation. Just as he was about to leave the car he saw someone else round the corner and McGarrett's mouth went dry and his brain started to work overtime. The man had a gun.

The kid was ducking and weaving, running for his life and the shock of brown curls immediately brought to mind a younger Danny Williams and with that thought McGarrett was ready for action, his need to protect surging through him. He tensed and watched as shots were fired but the young man kept running. The street was mercifully empty but the noise reverberated around the buildings and brought curious faces to windows; something that the Five-0 detective could well have done without. Knowing he ought to radio in to let them know about the weapon, he found himself unable to do anything barring watch the progress of the young man in the distance. Girding himself into action he gave chase, long legs pistoning as precisely as wheels on a train.

Two blocks down and he heard a voice call out, "Sammie! Come back here you _bastard_!! You'll pay for bringing the heat down on us – _you hear me_?!"

Thankfully `Sammie' didn't reply and Steve knew one thing for sure – this was the young man he was supposed to meet; with the two-plus-two deduction that the Islander with the gun had to be someone else involved in Danno's assault. Now his blood was _really_ up for the hunt.

Two more shots and to his horror McGarrett saw the boy's body twist in the air as neatly as a gymnast's and fall half on and half off the sidewalk. The bigger man was running toward the kid now lying motionless on the curb, ready to deliver the coup de grace. Steve shouted, "_Police_! Drop your gun and put your hands up!"

It was clear that the man had no idea he was being chased, let alone by an officer of the law. He stopped in his tracks and spun around to face this new challenge. McGarrett had time to register the look of total confusion on the man's face before he shouted, "Come on _pig_!"

"Don't make me shoot you, because I _will_! Drop your gun NOW!!"

Something in the detective's voice warned Lupe that he was in earnest and for a minute he weighed up his options. He turned to look at Sam's body lying in the dry city dirt then back to the cop before him. It was clear to McGarrett that he was considering shooting and Steve tightened his grip on the weapon to such an extent he almost cramped his gun hand. _**"Make me."**_ He growled menacingly and he meant it. If this excuse for a human being was one of Danno's assailants he would have liked nothing better than to pull the trigger and blast the man into oblivion or at the very least hit his groin. His career would be gone but McGarrett wasn't sure at that point that he cared for anything but his partner and best friend lying in the hospital, he was prepared to give up everything but Danno – he always was. If this man was the cause of his wounds….,"Go on – I'd like _nothing better_." He shouted.

Lupe swallowed hard, now or never. "Okay, _okay_." He said at last and reluctantly raised his hands.

Almost disappointed with the outcome Steve warned, "Now drop your weapon and kick it over here to me. Keep your hands raised."

Lupe did as he was told. McGarrett tucked the spare weapon into his waistband before cuffing one wrist then pulling the arm roughly behind the man's back to cuff the other. Metal bracelets in place, he ordered Lupe to put his head down on the roof of a parked car as he quickly checked on the boy. Feeling for a pulse, Steve pressed his fingers to the kid's throat and satisfied that there was a steady beat he noted the bloody graze on the boy's temple. If that was all the young man had suffered he was very lucky. Not having time to check for other wounds he marched his charge back to the Mercury and placed him in the back seat, gun still trained on him. He fought the bile rising in the back of his throat as the heavy weight of revenge oozed into his soul.

"McGarrett requesting an ambulance on the corner of Kapi'olani and Keeaumoku,"

From inside the car Lupe interrupted as he heard Steve name himself, "Ah da _Hog Meister_ himself, why am I not surprised! Well it's a fair cop – _cop_ – I admit to possessing a weapon without a license."

"Will you _shut up_."

"Hey man, I'm just trying to `co-operate' isn't that what you're supposed to do when a pig nails you?"

Steve steadied himself on the roof of the car, hand strangling the radio microphone and fought the urge to hit his prisoner. So far he had hardly looked at the man bar making sure he had no more weapons. He was far too concerned about the kid lying injured on the street and the insidious and very real possibility that the excuse for a human being he had just arrested had caused his best friend so much agony. He knew the moment he looked the beast in the face he would loathe him.

"If you want to co-operate tell me your name."

Lupe sucked in a breath between the gaps in his decaying teeth; making a small whistling sound, "Nah I get a fancy lawyer first eh man?"

McGarrett's jaw clenched and he made the mistake of staring into the car, something he had vaguely promised himself not to, but it was too late – like a rabbit caught in the headlights he couldn't stop himself from assessing the face projecting hatred directly toward him. The man was Samoan and he was a hard case from the looks of the scars. The short cropped hair and unshaven face gave him a dangerous feel and the deep pits in his skin made McGarrett shudder – the man looked as though he had been in a fire and the skin grafts hadn't taken.

Did Danno see that face looking down at him as he…. ? He tried not to go there, not to think of what might have been – he had to wait until the facts were in, not judge before he knew. But deep down he _did_ know and he wanted nothing better than to beat that pitted face to a pulp.

As a police unit reached their spot he handed he prisoner swiftly into their charge, grateful that he didn't have to deal with the man for a while. His temper evened out somewhat as he returned to the kid that he had reluctantly left on the sidewalk. He took off his jacket and eased it under the young man's head. As he did so Sammie opened fog-hazed eyes and after a few seconds appraised him.

"You'll be okay, an ambulance is on its way. Can you tell me your name son?"

"M…McGarrett?" He asked, shakily.

Steve nodded. "Are you the one who rang me?"

"_Ow_ my head hurts!"

McGarrett checked him over gently with his hands, looking for any other signs of injury but found none, "Does it hurt anywhere else?" He inquired.

"No, just my head. What..what happened?"

"Someone shot you, but you're going to be okay. Do you remember your name?" He asked again.

"Sam…Sammie Baxter."

"Was the man who shot you involved in my officer's assault?" McGarrett asked, tensing as he did so.

A small nod of the head. But it was enough.

Steve smiled, at last they were getting somewhere.

"Nice to meet you Sammie Baxter. You're under arrest."

******

"Young man can you hear me?"

Doctor David Forbes took his hand off the patient's shoulder and ran a finger across his mustache before straightening up from his bent position next to the bed. Dan Williams had closed his eyes a few moments beforehand and was now unresponsive once more, his pale face almost serene as he lapsed back into unconsciousness. The surgeon turned to Bergman, an automatic frown creasing his brow, "Well I think this is a more natural sleep - he's definitely coming out of it but we're not out of the woods yet. His nurse told me he's been tracking her and responding to stimuli. I'm fairly confident."

Doctor Bergman looked down at his patient and recalled once more the last time he had seen him; vibrant, full of energy and happy and he felt choked at the thought of what the boyishly handsome detective had become in the space of a few short weeks, "He hasn't spoken yet?"

"No but I'm not concerned although there could be some residual head trauma we haven't discovered as yet. I've ordered another set of X-rays just in case. As you know, coma affects each person differently so we carry on waiting. We'll know soon whether there are any longer lasting effects."

"Are you confident enough to tell McGarrett that? Steve will want to know."

Forbes shook his gaze from the bed and looked Bergman in the eye, the taller man inclining his head slightly as he spoke to his older colleague, "I think that McGarrett will want his second-in-command up and well in leaps and bounds and clearly that isn't going to happen here – it depends how much his system has suffered since lapsing into coma. However I see no reason not to tell him that Williams is responding and that there is a good chance he will be physically fine."

"I just hope you're right David."

"We shall see, we shall see."

******

McGarrett paced back and forth across the small rectangular room. Whitewashed walls met whitewashed walls in symmetrical boredom, the only variation was the shadow given off by the lighting. The cold gray lino flooring with its flecks of red, brown and white shrieked in complaint each time the Five-0 Chief's rubber heels scuffed as he turned.

When Sam Baxter managed to name his attacker on his way to hospital and repeat his earlier admission of Tanilofa's guilt in Williams' rape, Steve decided not to interview the suspect at the Five-0 offices. He wasn't entirely sure why but it made his skin crawl to think of the man stepping through the doorway to the Iolani Palace and by doing so his presence soiling the place where Danno walked, worked, laughed and ate – or _used_ to. Neither did he want Jenny and the others to see the man, even if they knew nothing about Danny's assault - `_he'_ would know. He couldn't bear for Tanilofa to lay eyes on his ohana, it would be too much like exposing them to something uncontrollably evil and the thought, like the man before him, made him want to throw up.

Stripped of his jacket, tie loosened, Steve ate up the room with his elongated legs in a very few paces. Chin Ho Kelly was the room's only other occupant and standing silently in the corner the Asian detective knew very well how volatile the situation could become simply by looking at how tense his boss was. If body language was any indicator then McGarrett was Kilauea on the brink of eruption. Boiling under the surface his friend was burning for justice for Danno.

Lupe simply sat at the speckled Formica table, legs splayed out in a vulgar display of non-compliance; arms crossed as he watched the steady march before him.

Suddenly swinging a wooden chair around as though it weighed nothing, McGarrett straddled it and sat facing the man. He half closed his eyes as if focusing them would help him _see_.

"Besides myself we have other witnesses to the shooting of Baxter." He stated flatly. "That alone will give you a long stretch on this island and I doubt with your record that you'll get parole. Think about it."

Lupe looked away; two dessicated flies trapped in the plastic of the strip light above him becoming extremely fascinating as he patently ignored the detective. He began to whistle, the irritating noise echoing around the hollow room.

McGarrett snapped his fingers together, "That's right bruddah; _stay cool_ - look away if that's what you want but not looking at me doesn't lessen the charges. If you think that's all we have on you think again mister. We have the dead body of a friend of yours on ice – Koa Lukina. Name ring a bell?"

Tanilofa's eyes flickered in recognition at the mention of Koa's name but gave away nothing else.

"Someone has to answer for his murder. Oh and that's just for starters – the big one - the one that makes you enemy number one in this state is the sexual assault and attempted murder of a police officer. You and your friends are going down _so hard_ for that one that you won't have time to inhale!"

Lupe began to laugh. Whether partial hysteria or arrogance Steve wasn't sure but it made him clench his fists in anger.

"You got nothing on me pig! _Bring it on_!"

"We have plenty on you – we have someone willing to testify for a start, we have prints and the District Attorney is building a nice case against you Lupe and believe me, I'm going to back him one hundred percent – _one hundred_, you hear me?!"

"Sure cop, I hear you – but that doesn't mean I ain't getting off."

"For what you did to Williams alone I ought to take justice into my own hands, you're a threat to every decent, law abiding citizen in these islands!"

"You're da `_special'_ friend of Dan Williams aren't you?" Lupe said rudely, recalling Dan's words begging them to find Steve. He licked his lips lasciviously and bent forward to whisper, _**"**_Well just so you know cop - I _enjoyed_ fucking him_!"_

McGarrett pushed the chair away from him so fast it slid back across the room coming to rest at the wall with a `_thunk'_. His fists clenched on the table and his face reddened with anger.

"Steve don't do it." Chin warned as he moved toward his boss, ready to step in if necessary. "He's deliberately goading you."

With barely controlled fury Steve said, "Who are the others? You tell me _who_ and _where_ they are!"

"And what? You gonna cut me a deal?

"_NO WAY_! No deals from me; not for _slime_ like you. You give me the names and I may just leave your face in once piece."

"Hey mister piggy, you wouldn't want me to get off cos you _`assaulted'_ me would you?!"

"You are pushing your luck Tanilofa. One more word from you and I'll…"

"You'll what? You'll slap me? Come on you can do better than that – I _screwed_ your sidekick. You wanna know how it feels – or perhaps you know that already, does he bend over for you cop? He did for me and _boy_ his pretty little _ass_ was _tight_..mmn-mmnn!" Lupe grabbed himself through his jeans and made obscene kissing noises

That was it – McGarrett flung aside all control and leaped on the prisoner, throwing them both to floor, punching him and pummeling the man's head back until it connected with the lino-covered concrete, oblivious of the consequences.

"STEVE!! Get off him! _Stop_!" Chin shouted, desperate to bring his boss back under control. Hearing a commotion Duke, who was waiting outside the interview room opened the door. "Duke get him out of here!" Chin said desperately as he physically pulled McGarrett from the fray.

Kelly grabbed Steve's arms from behind in a lock as Lukela went for the prisoner, hauling him none-too-gently to his feet with the Five-0 chief chomping at the bit to get to him again. "_**GET OFF ME!"**_ Steve shouted at his man.

"Not until you calm down Steve. Cool it bruddah."

"You're _sick_ man you know that?!!" Lupe hissed as Kelly finally managed to calm McGarrett down enough to let his arms go.

Steve stabbed the air in front of the prisoner with his index finger, "NO, _YOU'RE_ SICK but don't think you'll get any special treatment. I'd like to see you _hang_!"

"Too bad _pig_. You won't get nothing from me." Duke held him tight but not tight enough and he leaned forward toward Steve and spat right in his eye, the drool sliding down McGarrett's face. That was it, Chin couldn't help himself – in a need to vent some of his own anger his hand connected `accidentally' with Lupe's jaw and the man's head rocked sideways. "_That's_ for Danno!" he said and had the pleasure of witnessing Lukela's smile.

Licking the blood from the corner of his split lip Lupe shouted, "I'll GET YOU ALL FOR THIS! This is harassment, you'll be sorry - you and Williams both! I'll walk out of here because of that – _you wait and see_!"

"But bruddah," Duke said steadily from behind the struggling prisoner, "Who's going to believe you? I didn't see a thing."

McGarrett's face was a picture of gratitude as the Hawaiian HPD officer gave his support to the violence done in the name of their colleague and friend. Normally each man would never have dreamed of hitting someone in custody but the circumstances of the abuse of their fellow officer combined with the obvious hatred Tanilofa harbored towards the force dictated that their tempers needed an outlet. This man and others had dared to harm one of their own – the best of them - and he was lucky to get off with a few bruises; if each had their way he wouldn't have walked out of there under his own steam.

Steve ran a hand through his mussed hair and cradled his sore knuckles before announcing, "You'd better book him Duke, two counts of attempted murder, assault of a police officer, and when we find out how Lukina died we may just add that to the mix. Now get him out of here before I do something I might _NOT_ regret!"

********


	15. Rules of Consciousness

CHAPTER 15 – Rules of Consciousness

It was a fight he wasn't particularly aware of but it was no less real for that. The smothering layers of unconsciousness were barriers to the light that beckoned for his attention. Each successive layer he fought through would allow him to rise further toward the pinpoint, but far below, Sirens called to him; urging him to listen to their seductive powers. Nothing existed in the world he was leaving but still it pulled him down, ethereal chains dragging his mind back to where it was warm and dull and, above all, _safe_. Tiny hands clawed at him `_Don't go – stay with us_.' They whispered. But without consciousness he never acknowledged the pleading voices or understood that they were a product of his own desperate need to preserve his sanity. He simply reacted to the current pushing him inexorably upward; toward reality _and_ danger.

As physical need outweighed mental comfort, layer after layer like shimmering bubbles he rose from the free dive he had taken to the depths of nothingness. Now with speed it pushed him surface-bound and he found himself eagerly swept along – a child on a roller coaster - no control – simply along for the ride of his life.

As real light began filtering through to his cortex he understood he had been here before; watched shapes and people moving about him. He vaguely recalled voices but only as one would recognize the sound of a bee hovering around a hive – no understanding just **buzz**. There were no bees now, just a rhythmic _blip_ that matched the echoing sound of his heartbeat but there _was_ buzzing.

His first real impression was that he was blind or somewhere foggy, Los Angeles perhaps? He dismissed those thoughts abruptly, unsure why but knowing somehow he was wrong. His eyesight cleared gradually as the milky gray mist receded and he was able to focus on pitted white above him. He concentrated hard and was faintly surprised to recognize an electric hum pulsing through the light fixture overhead. He felt – relaxed, listless and mildly curious but beyond that nothing but a dry mouth and a requirement to wait until his head cleared.

The blip and buzz were soothing and undemanding and he would like to have retired to the Sirens below but a shape caught his attention from the corner of his eye and he heard the bees again. An enlarged face crept upon him and a pretty woman with an enormous smile invaded his space.

"Welcome back Mister Williams!"

"_Bzzbzzz bzz bzzbzz bzzbzzz!"_ was all he heard.

"How are you feeling?"

"_Bzz bzz bzz bzzbzz?"_

Danny licked his lips and squinted, trying hard to understand what the face said but the confusion in his eyes was mirrored in the woman's as she realized he was not quite with it.

"Now don't stress everything will be fine, you're in the hospital."

"_bzz bzz bzzz bzzbzzbzz bzz bz bzz, bzz bz bz bzzbzz."_

"I'm just going to call Doctor Forbes and he can check you out. There – it's good to see you finally awake!"

"_Bzz bzzz bzzbzz bz bzz_ bzzzzz Forbes and he can check you out. There – it's good to see you finally awake!"

No bees, just a person! He felt childishly relieved that he finally heard the same language, previously unsure what kind of world he had awoken to.

The face moved around him and he followed her with his blue gaze. To his befogged awareness she seemed to float around the bed like an angel and he found himself staring at the deep black hair tied neatly under a starched hat, the white uniform clinging to her soft body and the silver watch hanging upside-down on her breast. For some reason the word `uniform' meant something important to him and he attempted to understand the significance, its recognition was like a sharp pain in his skull. As he pressed his brain into service he heard ticking grow louder and it began to add to a cacophony of sound as it blended with the _blip_ and the _buzz _and started his head throbbing.

He closed his eyes and tried to speak; to ask for something for the pain but the pretty-faced white angel had floated away and he was alone once more. He bore his discomfort stoically and returned his eyes to the ceiling and the polystyrene tiles that criss-crossed around the light. It was only then he realized he was in hospital and started to weep.

******

Doctor Bergman had just finished a particularly complex autopsy and was about to stop for lunch when his assistant got the call that Dan Williams was awake. After informing Bergman that the young detective appeared to be out of the coma, the M.E. pushed aside his fatigue, hastily stripped himself of his ghoulish attire before cleaning himself up in order to see a patient who was much more deserving of his urgent attention that the poor eviscerated client on the metal table before him. He instructed his trustworthy fellow to finish up and rushed away to the upper floors where the living held court.

On the way the doctor stopped in his tracks and leaned against a wall, pausing momentarily as the full meaning of the news hit him. If Danny was awake then it could mean one of several things but undoubtedly his biggest concern was how the poor man would eventually react to the knowledge of what had happened to him. The chances were that Williams wouldn't be aware of that for some time to come as rising out of a coma wasn't simply a case of `waking up' as they did on television shows. But regardless of when it would happen – it _WOULD_ happen and that gave him pause for thought. Williams was a good friend and colleague and someone that Bergman truly liked and admired. His assault and shooting was a heinous crime perpetrated on an undeserving victim and it tugged at the doctor's heartstrings to think of what Dan would suffer now that he was conscious.

There was another concern too. The M.E. knew that McGarrett wasn't the most subtle person in his interrogations, no matter how much he cared about his second-in-command Bergman felt (rightly or wrongly) that Steve wasn't particularly empathetic when it came to sensitive issues. He worried that once the Head of Five-0 knew that Williams was out of the coma he would push the young man over the edge with his inquiries. His eagerness for the sweet revenge of justice for his detective in this case _could_ make him blind to his best friend's needs.

The doctor sighed as he came to a hard decision. He wouldn't allow McGarrett access until Bergman had at the very least ascertained the young man's mental condition and had a private word with the Five-0 chief about how to approach someone who had been sexually assaulted. If nothing else he would offer Steve the services of a psychiatrist as well as Danny. It was the least he could do as the official physician for the unit, as well as their friend.

*******

Sammie Baxter felt awful. His head pounded badly and he found it hard to focus for long as his eyes swam in their sockets. Aside from the occasional nurse who smiled and prodded him and propped him up, no one came to visit him. Looking through the open door of the ward where he had been admitted after being administered to and X-rayed to within an inch of his life, he saw the reassuring (or not so reassuring) bulk of a policeman sitting outside the door. From where he lay he could just see half of the man's uniformed body, one rubber heel fixed firmly to the floor, toe tapping as he whiled away the boredom of guard duty.

Sam closed his eyes and opened them again, eyeballs rolling and settling back to center. Just to see the reaction, he rattled the handcuffs on the bed rail and was rewarded by a mustache-covered face peering into the room. The HPD officer was a Hawaiian and for the first time in his life Sam – a half-Hawaiian himself - didn't find it particularly comforting to have a `bruddah' around him. He shivered as he recalled his former friends and wondered how far their influence reached. There was no denying it – he was shit scared and even the sizable cop acting watchdog did nothing to calm his nerves. He was also still in shock from being shot at by Lupe and had no idea whether the murderous Tanilofa had escaped and would come after him.

He knew nothing and cursed himself for getting into this mess. Of all the damned _pupule_ things he could have done – he had to go and get shot, but not before he was going to give himself up to police! He felt like his whole life had been leading to this dead end. A shooting pain lanced across his temple and Sam automatically touched the bandage on the side of his head, wincing. It wasn't _THE_ most painful thing that he'd felt but at present it sure hurt like hell.

Sam wondered if he would see McGarrett again. After the ambulance took him away he saw nothing more of the man he had come to find - to give himself up to. He contemplated shouting out to the cop and demanding to see the Five-0 man – after all – that was why he was at the factory in the first place. Nothing had gone right; story of his whole miserable existence.

If he was allowed one phone call that would be to Ella. A bad thought suddenly seized him - _Ella_!! How could he have been so idiotic? If Lupe had found him then perhaps he had found her too and would hurt her or use her as a hostage to stop him talking – he had to get her out of their apartment.

"Hey cop!" he shouted then regretted it as his head shrieked at him.

Officer John Keuma peered around at the prisoner, "What?" he replied suspiciously.

"Hey, I need to tell you something, it's important."

Hands planted on knees for leverage, Keuma rose and walked to the bedside. When Sammie looked up at him it was like looking at a palm tree; the man was enormous. At a shade over six-foot-seven, Keuma was the tallest man in the Honolulu Police Department and his width was almost equal to his height. He peered down at the young man and flicked his head, "You want something?" he inquired.

Sammie swallowed reflexively, his mind momentarily blank. "Er..yes..I need someone to get my girlfriend out of her apartment. The man who shot me – he could have found her. Please, she's in danger!"

"Okay, you wanna give me her details," Keuma said, taking out his notepad, "I'll get someone to check on her but the fella that shot you, he's in custody bruddah. Ain't no way he's a threat to anyone no more."

Sam felt a huge weight lift from his shoulders at the pronouncement, Lupe, a man he had formerly worked closely with, had wanted to kill him as had Mano, Koa and Ratchet and now he was safe; from one of them at least. He almost daren't believe it. "You _sure_?" he asked nervously.

"Sure I'm sure – I was there myself. Ain't no sweat, he's in big pilikia. So what's your girlfriend's name?"

"Ella, Ella Easson.." he began.

After giving Ella's details to the officer, Sam lay back and concentrated hard on feeling better. Even that small amount of concern had made him exhausted and he suddenly found he couldn't keep his eyes open. He began to drift, saying a small prayer that he wouldn't dream the dream again.

In his nightmares, each time he recalled the violation it was different, one night it was the cop, Williams, being assaulted before his eyes, the detective's heart-wrenching pleas ignored as his friends took their sickening turn with the injured man – another night it was him lying on the table top, Koa digging his fingers into his cheeks as he kissed him. Whether it was Williams or him the outcome was always the same – it ended in death; both his and the cops. He needed absolution or be damned for the rest of his life.

Sammie slept.

*******

"Tell the nurses not to startle him and keep visitors to an absolute minimum, _no_ casual callers, remember we just want to make sure he is comfortable with no more stimulation than necessary, if he gives you any trouble I want to know about it." Doctor Forbes was just finishing giving instructions to the charge nurse as to how to deal with his patient now that Williams was beginning to show clear signs of recovering from the coma.

Harry Bergman gave a light tap to the wall outside the office before entering, "May I come in?"

"Sure Harry, make yourself at home, Alice and I were just going over the Dan Williams' case." The neurosurgeon said and offered Bergman a seat.

Harry declined the offer to park his weary bones and gave a quick acknowledgment smile to the nurse, "No thanks, I'm just on my way to check in on him, I heard he's coming out of it. That excellent news."

Forbes nodded, "He is and we were just talking over our procedure from here – perhaps we can visit him together, I'm heading that way myself." He turned to his colleague, "Thanks Alice, just keep either Doctor Bergman or myself informed."

As they walked together back to the unit, Bergman expressed his concern over Steve McGarrett. Forbes agreed that in order to aid the young man's recovery the lead detective should be given limited access and under no circumstances was Williams to be questioned about his assault. "It is such a delicate time for him Harry, we don't even know if Williams will recover fully from the head trauma, let alone be able to face the reality of what those animals did to him."

Bergman nodded sadly. His head would roll if Steve wasn't told about his second-in-command's condition however the prognosis was still far from settled and Forbes was right; it was a time for supporting Danny not forcing him to relive the horrors of his abduction and rape. There was also the grave matter of the Law to take into consideration. They had passed over all the physical evidence related to the incident to the DA's office but someday, somehow, Manicote would insist on hearing Williams' side of the story and then what? He shuddered to think how the traumatized victim would deal with that. He knew women who found it unbearable but a man? And one in Dan Williams' public line of work? He suddenly felt an overwhelming swell of compassion for his sick friend and for McGarrett too – after all Steve was the one who was leading the investigation into the senseless violence perpetrated on one of his own. Not just anyone of his team – _Danny_ – Steve's protégé, 2-I-C and close personal friend.

"What stage is he at?" Doc asked, more casually than he felt as they arrived at their destination.

"Why don't you see for yourself?" The neurosurgeon offered and stood aside for his colleague to enter the room first.

The blinds were pulled almost shut, shading the detective from the harsh sunlight, it was dim and quiet - just as it should be. The safety rails were also in place so it was hard at first to see whether Williams was awake or not. As Bergman drew closer he noticed the patient was in a light doze. He put his hands on the railings and gently called his name, "Danny?" there was no response. "Danny can you hear me? The Five-0 physician looked at his colleague and frowned.

"A little louder," Forbes suggested softly.

"Wake up now Dan, it's doc Bergman!" Doc said, his voice suddenly commanding in its intensity and completely out of place in the chapel-like surrounds but in truth still no louder than a normal level.

He was rewarded by the flutter of eyelids and couldn't help but smile down at Williams as his order was heard and blue eyes focused on him for the very first time. "Hello, you gave us quite a scare young man. You're safe now, in hospital." He was watching all the time for signs that he was understood. Danny licked his lips and Bergman picked up a cup of half-melted ice cubes from the table next to the bed and placed one on Williams' lips so the cool liquid refreshed him. Most dribbled ineffectually down the side of his mouth and for some reason it worried the detective. He looked agitated.

"_Where_?" A weak and barely audible question, and one that had already been answered.

Although he felt compelled to put his hand on Williams' arm, Bergman was careful not to touch Dan as he replied, "Hospital, you're in hospital. Do you know your name?"

Danny appeared confused, eyes scanning above him for something, eyebrows knotted in a frown, "_Bird?"_

Behind him Forbes shook his head, although Dan hadn't been in a coma that long sometimes child-like behavior was exhibited shortly after recovery. He didn't think that the young man would be able to make much sense of anything for a few days at the very least and his confusion appeared to corroborate that thinking. He had not replied to a direct question and it meant that they still had a long way to go.

Unsure what to make of the inquiry, Doc simply said, "No birds, you're safe. We will come back to talk to you again later, you rest now."

"_Must count…one…t..two…"_ Danny closed his eyes again and the mumbling ceased almost abruptly.

"Okay that's enough Harry. Let's leave him for now." Forbes put a hand around the physician's shoulder and led him out of earshot of the bed. "He's in the post traumatic amnesia stage, doubt that it will last long since his latest x-rays indicate that he's healing well but you never know if there's residual damage. We'll find out how his memory is coping in due course. The gunshot wound is also healing nicely as is his wrist. Are you going to call McGarrett and tell him or would you like me to?"

Harry ran a hand through his thick peppery hair and looked back at the wan figure on the bed. Under his breath he raged, "This is so _damned_ unfair David! Dan Williams is a good detective – _a strong man_ – he shouldn't be reduced to this!"

"Come on, out of here my friend. Let's talk in the corridor."

He and Bergman walked a short distance down the clinical hallway and stopped, "This is never fair Harry; you know that."

"Yes, yes, like you I've seen all manner of things but this is such an injustice. McGarrett is beside himself with worry already. For weeks that man has hardly left this hospital, he's eaten and slept by his detective's bedside and now I have to tell him he's virtually off limits! I don't know if I can do that to him."

"Then let me."

Bergman contemplated the offer, "Thank you, I appreciate that but ultimately I'm the one supposed to be looking out for these men, I'd value your backup up though if Steve gets difficult, he will listen to your clinical judgment. He will rail and rage against it but I am pretty sure he will understand it's in Danny's best interests. But we'll never stop him from seeing him completely, nor would I want to. If Steve doesn't visit his friend it would be cruel to both of them. Between you and I David they need each other to survive in the harsh world of policing and after what Dan has been through, he will need a lifeline – he has no other family here."

"That's okay, so long as he doesn't eat and sleep in the same room or question him – not now. It's too important that we go slowly on this. One visit a day from just him – that's the _maximum_ I will allow at the moment and even the stubborn chief himself will have to stick to those rules."

Doc nodded, "I can only do my best!"

"Agreed. Now you'd better get off and make that phone call – I believe McGarrett usually comes in around now and I think it best if he knows his Williams' condition before he sees him don't you?"

******

Steve couldn't concentrate. He stood by the lanai doors and stared out at the world beyond. It had been like this on and off since Danno had been admitted to hospital. His routine was shot to pieces and as a consequence so was his internal balance. Without Williams the office was just a place of work; no color, no atmosphere, no laughter. They all missed him and he could see in the faces of those who knew the full horror of Danny's assault that there was no short answer to the problem either. They had a long haul ahead before things would be restored – if they ever could.

Checking his clock, Steve left his musings and grabbed his jacket, ready to head over to the hospital and his afternoon vigil. He couldn't help wondering how Tanilofa was faring in custody – somehow it sickened him to think that the criminal might be boasting to other scum about what he did to his officer and friend, no doubt in lurid blue detail. He wished he could have strangled the man with his bare hands whilst he had the chance. For Danno's sake.

As always nowadays Jenny Sherman looked glum but she tried to hide it behind a smile that Steve knew was just for his benefit. "Oh Steve," she called out as he was making his way to the door unhindered. "I have Doc Bergman on the line!" She managed to sound both hopeful and concerned at the same time. McGarrett felt the same way.

"Mahalo love, I'll take it my office."

Pausing momentarily before picking up the call in order to compose himself Steve said, "Doc, it's McGarrett, what can I do for you?"

"Steve it's about Danny."

McGarrett's grip tightened on the receiver and his heart gave a jolt in his chest at the mention of Williams' name_. What about him? Please don't tell me…I don't think I could bear those words….if you don't say them it won't be real…_

"Is he okay?" he asked with trepidation, shoving aside the deeply negative thoughts.

"Better than he was. Steve - Danny is coming out of his coma!"

McGarrett couldn't help himself, he laughed – short and nervous – but laughed nevertheless; it was relief, plain and simple, "That's _wonderful_ news, I'll be right over."

"Just a second. Before you rush to get here I think I ought to tell you what this means."

And so began the long explanation. Steve sat down during the talk, needing to be grounded as he lurched between understanding and anger. He didn't want to be denied access to his young friend's bedside but, as predicted, neither could he jeopardize Williams' recovery in order to satisfy what he understood were his _own_ needs. He needed to be close to his little brother – his _kaikaina_ and on a subliminal level it scared him that he might have taken from him the only daily comfort he had – that of seeing his friend's face, holding his hand and talking to him.

When Bergman finished his lecture Steve confirmed he understood the rules and put the phone down with a slam. His anger wasn't directed at the physician, Danny or the hospital but with Tanilofa and the young man Sam Baxter – both of whom were responsible for this abominable crime.

He had agreed not to see Danny that night to give the sick man time to adjust to his situation a little better but he still intended to head off to the hospital to visit another patient. One who was long overdue for a chat. He would grill Baxter until his ears bled.

******


	16. Witness For The Abused

Author's Note: Once again a thank you to those of you who have reviewed and commented. I can't answer the ones without email links personally but please know I appreciate them all and all of you readers. Mahalo!

CHAPTER 16 – Witness For The Abused

"I didn't know, please - you have to believe me! I had no idea what they would do to him!"

After taking advice from Baxter's doctor as to how well their prisoner was, Steve McGarrett barred the door to intrusion leaving Officer Keuma on very capable guard duty. Unable to sit for the overwhelming feelings of anger burning through his soul, McGarrett paced; the young man watching him as his long legs ate up the length of the room in quick, easy strides.

"So let me get this straight, it was you who telephoned to tell me where to find my detective?" Steve asked

Sammie swallowed, "Yes, yes, I've told you – I didn't want any part of this – it was the only way I could help!"

"Why didn't you come forward before? If you wanted to help us catch the assailants why now?"

Sam leaned back and closed his eyes, handcuffed wrist a solemn reminder of the gravity of his situation. "Because…I was scared and now it's killing me – this knowledge. Because I can't bear to think of that poor man's family wondering why he's dead and I need to make peace with myself by telling someone the awful truth. They were my _friends_ mister McGarrett. Or at least I thought they were!"

Steve paused for a moment and looked at the pale, tousled headed hapa-haole who spoke with a sincerity that he had not expected from a criminal, "Some friends - one of them tried to kill you!" he murmured then as an afterthought asked, "Who's dead?"

Baxter appeared confused, "Your officer, Detective Williams. He's…well..at least I presume he's dead?"

McGarrett shook his head slowly and dug his hands into his pants pockets, "No Baxter, Dan Williams is alive – _barely_ - no thanks to your `friends'. I guess I have you to thank for that." He said honestly.

Sammie's eyes widened in shock. All this time he thought that the violated man had died bleeding from a gunshot wound in the cane field, surrounded by mud and rats and that his call had come too late. To think he had survived was more than he had hoped for. For once in his life perhaps he had done a good thing after all. "I'm glad." He said simply and saw a strange expression cross the Five-0 chief's face, he couldn't name it but whatever emotion it was it related to the fallen detective and it was unbelievably strong.

Steve pulled a chair up, wanting for the first time to look properly at the young man, thinking he may have underestimated what he took to be an arrogant punk. He took a moment to look over the haunted boy and imagined Danny lying in front of him; older and less hot-headed, but still vulnerable. "Tell me what happened." He ordered and braced himself for the horrors to come.

Sammie ran his free hand nervously across the bed, smoothing the covers as if the act would calm him. He wanted to tell but just thinking about that day in the garage made him nauseous – what they did to the cop, what HE was forced to do – he wanted to be sick, his stomach knotted and his head throbbed with pain. Where did he begin to tell the story of a day gone horribly wrong? A day that began with a simple car boost and ended with a cop shooting. He looked at McGarrett as earnestly as the older man stared at him, and something else gave him pause before he told his story – it was the knowledge that Williams had called out for this man in his moment of need – that the cop who had been raped, beaten and shot was this man's _friend_!! He couldn't blame the stern looking Five-0 detective for hating him. He hated himself. If he hadn't been such a pupule jerk and watched the road more carefully, none of them would be where they were today.

"I stole a car.." he began.

Sam told McGarrett about boosting Professor Morgan's new Mustang, he described how he had felt proud as a peacock and high on adrenalin. He barely remembered almost knocking the woman down on the crossing but he sure recalled Dan Williams when he came calling after following him. Steve sat there, listening intently and watching the young man's expressions as he struggled to control the obvious pain he felt from the gunshot crease but somehow McGarrett couldn't bring himself to care. All he cared about was the story – how his best friend and detective had come to be in the wrong place, at the wrong time.

"I knew what they were going to do to him. I could sense it. They thought I was naïve – I'm _not_ mister McGarrett, I just didn't want to believe they were capable of what I now know they are. I loved these men – they were my ohana – my only family and I thought they knew best. But they're sick and angry. They didn't care about anything except revenging themselves on the system, the cops – you! Officer Williams was just the poor sucker who was in the way. They used him to get back at the law. Hurting him was like sticking their fingers up at justice, you know?" Sammie paused, trying to get his mind to focus and not to collapse as he wanted to do. This was _so_ hard.

Steve's fists tightened in his lap as the story unfolded and he grit his teeth, his mind a whirling dervish of hatred as he imagined the brutality of what Danno had suffered because of his job, because he was a _cop_. Barely controlling his anger yet again he said, "I know Sam. I see it all the time. Please go on."

"Can I have some water?" Sammie asked as he licked his dry lips and looked longingly at the table beside his bed.

"Sure." McGarrett poured a plastic beaker full and handed it to the young man who drank all of it, savoring the cool liquid as it lubricated his throat. He passed the empty cup back. "Mahalo."

"More?"

"Not just at the moment, I'm real tired though." Baxter admitted and for the briefest of moments Steve felt guilty. He knew the kid wasn't well and could see the strain he was causing. If the doctors came in they would throw him out on his ear but he had Danny to think of. Danny who had struggled through violent assault to end up in a coma that could have been the death of him, who had just started to come round with a store full of memories that would eat him alive with shame and humiliation. There was little room in McGarrett's heart for sympathy for anyone but his second-in-command right now. He couldn't let the boy stop.

"Go on Baxter, you can rest later but I want names and details and I want reassurances from you that you will repeat everything to the District Attorney as and when required."

"And me?"

"_No_ deals, no promises. Just that good night's rest you said you needed. More than that is not up to me but the D.A. Tell me what I need to hear and I'll put in a good word for you." _For saving Danno's life and giving him back to me_. He thought, but didn't add.

Sam continued, "Someone came by – a customer. I got scared and when I went inside Mano he was, he was – doing the cop, across the Mustang."

Steve's eyes closed, a sharp bolt of agony hit his heart at the images the kid's story conjured up. With each successive word it was getting harder for him to remain controlled. His blood was thrumming with the need to hit something for Danny's sake. If _only_ he had been there. If _only_ Danno had waited for back up. If _only_ he had noticed him missing sooner and found him before….before this. If.._if_..IF! Too many `ifs', the deed was done and beyond his control. He had to listen, he owed it to his friend. Knowing full well who Baxter was referring to from the information they found at the garage, he asked the question nevertheless, "Who's this Mano guy?"

Baxter was having an internal as well as external dialog, 'Here we go Sammie, no going back, you are ratting on your friends. Yeah and they tried to kill you, you dumb ass!' he mentally reminded himself. With only the briefest of hesitations he answered, "Mano Kaika and his brother Ratchet, well his real name is Ray but everyone calls him Ratchet. They kinda took me in when my folks died. Like I said Mano had screwed your guy, but I get the impression he wasn't the first and when this customer turned up they panicked and threw your man in back storage closet."

Danny's blood inside and outside. He must have been in so much pain, hurting so badly from what the animals had done to him, half-naked, beaten, quite likely with a broken wrist, raped on the bonnet of a car and terrified beyond belief. The further along the boy went with the story the more Steve's heart began racing, it was like he was jogging on the spot – he couldn't get away but neither could he stop; a nightmare in living Technicolor.

"They thought he was unconscious but he screamed and yelled for help. When they dragged him back out they beat him again."

"And where were _you_ when this was happening?" Steve said in an accusatory tone, his voice like rattlesnake venom seeping into the boy's ears.

"I _tried_ to stop them! They threatened to beat me too, and worse! I couldn't..it was too awful. They would have done it to me too!" Sam started weeping, the depth of his cowardice and guilt weighing him down. "I tried…."

McGarrett sighed heavily, wondering how he would have felt in the kid's place. If he had been there though there would have been no question he would have fought to his last breath for Danny, to save his friend from a fate worse than death. At the same time he guiltily thanked God for sparing him from being at the scene, he wasn't sure he could bear to have seen a man he was so close to be so brutally violated before his eyes – not Danno – not his kaikaina. So much pain. "Don't stop." He commanded in the same tone as before.

Sammie looked scared. Now came his involvement and he wasn't sure if he should tell what happened next or even if he was physically capable of repeating it.

"They." He began and stalled, sniffing away the wetness from his nose. "Detective Williams was pushed onto a table. I begged them not to, I told them we ought to leave him and get away. They said they'd kill me...they made me _watch_! Oh Christ that poor man, he begged them not to, he pleaded with them but Koa's mahu and he wanted to make him…well they had a bet on who would make him, make him…come..so he…he sucked him off."

Steve's left leg began shaking. He couldn't control it, he gripped his knee so tightly he thought that he would pierce the thick material with his nails but still his leg trembled, his head began pounding and he needed air. The table he had found in the garage, the one with the blood on it; the one that he had instinctively known his friend had been tortured on. To think they had further humiliated Danno by making his body betray him - it was all too much. Abruptly he stood up, loosened his tie like a landed fish gasping for water and without a word turned on his heel. He couldn't reach the door fast enough. The noise brought the officer outside to attention as McGarrett sped from the room, leaving the door to swing on its hinges. "Sir are you okay? Sir?!"

"_Leave me_ _alone_!" Steve threw back and rushed to the stairs. Taking them two at a time he ran down to the reception area and outside to breathe in some fresh air. "Oh God!" Steve groaned aloud as he moved further into the grounds and grabbed onto the back of the seat he and Kono had sat on that first night when Danny had been admitted to hospital; the very bench where he had told Kalakua what the bastards had done to their friend and saw the big Hawaiian weep. A sob escaped McGarrett's throat and he was so weak he couldn't stay upright any longer. He fell to one knee, still holding onto the solid wood with a death grip and let the tears of grief fall. "Dear god Danno, what have they done to you?! My poor, poor friend."

Around hospitals sadness was a commonplace sight, families grieving, parents, friends, lovers – each had their own story of human emotion and as such very few disturbed those who were upset, preferring instead to leave them to release their anguish in one of the very few public places where tears were an accepted part of life.

In the grounds of the facility where Steve McGarrett was coming to terms with his unusual display of what he considered weakness, there was no one to judge him and no one to console him either. As nurses, patients and visitors passed by they didn't openly notice or understand his heart was constricting for his closest companion. For Steve not knowing how Danny would react when he was fully conscious was the worst thing – he _knew_ his friend was strong, that's why he was in the exalted position of Second-in-Command of Hawaii's premiere police unit, but _nothing_ in their training ever prepared them for such a personal and intimate assault. It wasn't the bullet that had almost killed Danno, it was the brutal violation of his body and in turn his mind - and that was so much worse.

McGarrett had a duty to hear the rest of Baxter's tale; not only for justice and the law – it was a duty to his aikane. Perhaps in knowing some of the shocking facts of the case he would be able to support the young detective through the worst of his recovery. Someone needed to act as advocate for Danno and no one was closer to him than Steve.

Suddenly feeling ashamed of his display of sentiment, he eased himself up and straighted his suit, shifting uncomfortably within the unforgiving material he normally found like a second skin. Today it just felt stiff and uncompromising and he loosened his tie in an attempt to feel more comfortable. Checking to see no one was looking, McGarrett slipped a clean handkerchief out of his pocket and surreptitiously wiped it across his face. Mask firmly in place he sighed heavily and returned to the door through which he had run.

John Keuma couldn't help but stand to attention as the Five-0 Chief came strolling towards him. McGarrett nodded in the HPD officer's direction, avoiding eye contact and gave no other outward sign that anything had been amiss.

"Has the nurse been by to check on our guest?" Steve asked, staring rigidly at the door.

"A few minutes ago, I think he's okay, she doesn't know he had a visitor."

"Mahalo."

Shaking his head at the brief exchange with an uncharacteristically flushed and emotional-looking McGarrett, Keuma sat back down as Steve crossed the threshold and walked back into the prisoner's hospital room.

The door closed softly behind him.

Baxter had his eyes closed. The boy looked white as the sheet he was lying on; the bruising around his head wound livid against the abused flesh. Steve stood looking down at the kid and gently nudged his arm, "Baxter? Sam are you awake?"

Brown eyes gradually opened and the young man blinked when he saw his visitor had returned. McGarrett's own eyes narrowed as he tried to work out whether the kid was sedated or just groggy.

"I'm sorry." Sammie offered.

Steve looked down at his hands and wondering if the young man truly meant what he said replied, "Yeah, so am I. I need you to carry on with your story though. You up to it?"

Baxter thought for a moment and nodded, "I'll tell you."

McGarrett helped the young man into a sitting position before returning to his chair. "Before I ah left here, you mentioned the name Koa. Is that Koa Lukina by any chance?"

Sam looked surprised but nodded, "Yes, Koa is Mano and Ratchet's cousin. He's looking for me too."

Steve's jaw clenched, his gut told him that Baxter had nothing to do with Lukina's death but he couldn't be sure if he was being played. He delivered the news in as business-like a way as he could, keen to see the boy's reaction, "He's dead."

Baxter looked stunned, questions bubbling out of him, "Dead? He can' be! When? Why? …I mean how?"

Unwilling to give out much information Steve replied, "He was murdered and his body dumped. Over a fortnight ago."

Sam lay back against the pillows and put the heal of his hand against his aching temple, Koa was gone – he could hardly believe it, "Oh no they must have done it!"

"They? Who's `they'; are you saying you had nothing to do with this?"

"I would never hurt anyone! Honest mister McGarrett, Koa may have been many things but I wouldn't kill him – I **couldn't** kill him, even after what he'd done. But me - take a life; _no way_! I've been with Ella, she'll tell you!" The kid was becoming a little more agitated than McGarrett thought was good for him in his condition but still he pressed on.

"Okay settle down, if you have an alibi we'll check it out and if you're innocent you have nothing to fear. So when you said `they must have done it' – who did you mean?"

"The others – Lupe, Mano and Ratchet. I guess…I guess it must have been them or one of them. I never saw Koa after he shot your man."

Steve's turn to sit up in his seat now. "Koa? Koa Lukina shot Williams?"

Sammie nodded, "I don't think he wanted to shoot him really. Maybe the guys threatened him too but he was scared enough to try it." Seeing the look of confusion on McGarrett's face he added, "I guess I better tell you the rest of the story."

"You damned well better!" McGarrett threw back.

Baxter looked nauseous and once again Steve felt a level of guilt at keeping the injured man from his rest but he was so anxious to know the full picture he was not inclined to generosity.

"If I tell you will you let me sleep. I'm…I'm so tired…" Sam closed his eyes again and Steve thought he might be fading on him. He reached across and shook the boy's arm, inadvertently rattling the handcuffs.

"Come on Baxter, not long now. Tell me what happened to my detective after Koa… after what you told me before."

"Do I need to be in cuffs? I can't sleep." Sammie asked tiredly.

Steve thought for a moment and decided he could trust the boy, up to a point, "Alright but you know there's a police officer outside so don't try to leave here. Understand?"

"I came to **you** mister McGarrett. No way I'm leaving, I feel safer here than on the streets."

Steve nodded and slipped the manacles off the young man's wrist, pocketing them before sitting back down. _Anything_ for the information.

"Mahalo." Sam sighed in relief, "After Koa did what I said he…he r..raped officer Williams whilst Rachet made me hold his head up so he could… could..you know."

Once more the ghastly film played across McGarrett's eyes and he felt bile rising in his gullet but fought it back, determined not to crack under the intensity of his emotions like last time. "I get it. And they threatened you if you wouldn't do this?"

"Yeah, they said they'd kill me..or that I'd be next. I couldn't let them…it was so awful! I wish I had the guts to stop them, I just didn't know how! Can you see that?"

McGarrett could, outnumbered four-to-one there was no way the kid could have saved himself from a similar assault, let alone Dan Williams, had they chosen to do so. Somehow Steve knew though that the physical aspect of the rape wasn't the primary objective, like Baxter had said – they were getting back at the Law and `pigs' in general – not just getting a high from sex. McGarrett thought about what Sam told him about Koa, the man who shot Danno – he had said he was mahu – homosexual; perhaps in his case the motivation had been different. Danny was a good looking man, it wasn't inconceivable that Lukina took advantage for his own sick reasons. It made him queasy to think of it – either way the end result was the same. His friend has suffered torture at the hands of four brutal monsters.

"I think you had no choice, but let's not forget your guilt in all this!"

Sam blanched. He knew if he wanted to that McGarrett could put him away for a very long time and if he couldn't prove where he was when Koa was murdered the finger might be pointed at him. "I thought they were going to dump him, just get rid of him somewhere and run. If they'd done that it would have been bad enough but Koa had to go and _shoot_ him! I am so stupid, I should have known."

"Slow down, back track for me. What happened after they'd…finished? What did they do with officer Williams?"

"I think they must have knocked him out or something. But it was like he'd gone anyway."

McGarrett wasn't sure what the kid meant but somehow he knew it was important, "What do you mean it was like he'd `gone'? _Tell me_!"

"Well…he'd been doing some crazy countdown, like he was fixated on something, each time they…they hurt him he just carried on counting. I guess it was to stop him feeling the pain, or thinking maybe about what was happening to him. He just sort of – I dunno - sort of shut down!"

Oh God! Steve thought, that had to be a very bad thing. He wished he knew what was in his friend's mind when this was all going on. Was he hoping that Steve would rescue him? Was he praying it would all be over? Did he think the was going to die? All of that and more he guessed. Perhaps he did close down – slip away from the situation in order to protect himself, Steve couldn't blame him for that but just what did it mean? McGarrett was getting an awful feeling about it and hoped he was wrong, his sixth sense was telling him something important but he couldn't quite work out what it was. He needed to talk to Danno, not this kid. He wanted to rush back to the ICU and reassure himself that Danny was there, in mind as well as body and that they would be able to work through this pain and suffering together.

Sammie noticed the cop had gone quiet, he figured he was absorbing the information as a detective _and_ a friend, and gave him a few seconds before asking, "You want me to tell you more or can I sleep now?"

"What?" McGarrett was pulled from his reverie, "Oh..more, I want to know how he was shot."

"Give me a second," With the handcuffs now off Sam went to pick up the jug to get himself a drink and as he moved the room began to spin wildly, he moaned and almost fell. McGarrett had seen color drain from the boy's face and caught him just as he was about to topple over the side.

"I'm sorry..I'm ill…I can't. Just need to…"

"..sleep," McGarrett finished for him and eased the young man down onto the bed. "You sleep Sam, I'll be back." He understood their interview was terminated for the moment but didn't mind. He was thinking about Danny and despite the entreaties of the doctors he _**knew**_ he had to see his friend.

Leaving Keuma to guard Baxter with a promise of relief shortly, Steve marched down the corridors in the direction of Dan Williams' bedside. All he could hear in his head, over and over again was the warning _`It was like he'd gone. Shut down'_

McGarrett began to run.

******


	17. Confusion and Decision

CHAPTER 17: Confusion and Decision

Half way down the corridor Steve slowed to a discreet pace, knowing he was attracting unwanted attention on his flight to Danny's side.

He reached the door and stopped, eyes drawing level with the `NO VISITORS' sign that glared at him like a threat. Behind the door lay his friend; a man he loved and valued more highly than anyone barring his own precious family, something as innocuous as paper and ink would do nothing to keep him from Williams' bedside.

Breathing deeply in an attempt to still the raging torment of worry, he ignored the protesting words and went inside, stopping two feet from the door - suddenly too sick and anxious to get any closer. His stomach rolled and pushed warm, acidic bile up into his throat.

The whole way from Baxter's ward he had been mulling over what he would say or do when he got here and now, stupidly, he didn't know how to proceed. Never normally a man of few words, Steve McGarrett found himself speechless in the face of so much torment.

Danny was on his own, the room was dim and quiet and he appeared to be sleeping, perhaps drugged, the muscles in his face relaxed, his chest rising and falling as he breathed gently in and out, unaware of McGarrett's presence. Steve rubbed a tired hand over his furrowed brow and gauged his next step. Not wanting to startle the young man he nevertheless walked carefully towards the bed, so sure that his racing heartbeat could be heard outside his body like the tiny clapper inside a fire alarm.

As he got closer, Danny moved. For over two weeks McGarrett had prayed just to see the slightest movement from his friend and now, miraculously, he had turned on his side! Danny moaned, the action obviously causing him discomfort and he rolled back again, trying to get comfortable but the look on his face proved he had failed.

Reaching the bedside it was all Steve could do to restrain himself from picking Danno up and hugging him close to his heart, begging his forgiveness at not finding him sooner and reassuring him that all would be well. How he longed to have Williams at his side again, discussing cases, solving crimes, sharing take-out food after a long hard day or simply watching him surf - fit and happy as he coasted the big rolling waves in his beloved ocean. Would he **ever** be the same?

_`It was like he'd gone.' _

"Danno?" Steve said gently and placed a careful hand on his bare arm. Most of the damage was healing now, his stomach wound repairing itself - gradually, broken wrist mending - slowly, bruises gone - eventually.

For a second McGarrett was transported to the land of his nightmares; the vivid scene that had haunted his nights for weeks, leaving him drained and hollow come morning. The darkness and driving rain, humped-back rodents, mud and howling dogs. Then, lying in a pool of his own blood – his first view of Danno – half-naked, shot and broken like a discarded toy gone out of favor. They had held his body aloft with all the reverence of a dying king and silence accompanied their passage.

This was the first time since that day he knew for sure his friend would recover.

"Danno, can you hear me?"

When Dan's eyelids fluttered open and blue eyes fixed on him, McGarrett thought his world complete – it was like a rainbow, bright and colorful between the sun and the rain, bursting through the clouds. Words couldn't describe the bubble of joy rushing through Steve's soul. Danny was awake, his kaikaina _hadn't_ gone away. He was looking at him!

McGarrett smiled down at the man in the bed, the biggest and most emotional grin he could manage, lighting up his face; eyes sparkling. He couldn't stop himself from reaching out to smooth a hand across Dan's hot forehead, words issuing forth from the very depth of his heart, "Welcome back my friend. I've missed you _so_ much!"

When Danny flinched as though he had been burned the smile faded fractionally but when the young detective opened his eyes wide and stared at McGarrett with something akin to terror - Steve's smile failed him completely.

"It's okay, you're safe." He reassured, the sickness returning to his mouth.

Dan croaked, his throat dry, "No. _Go away_! Where the _hell_ am I?"

It was Steve's turn to flinch, Danny didn't swear all that often and certainly not at **him**. "You're in the hospital. You were badly hurt."

"Go away from me, _don't touch me_!"

Believing the room was just too dark for him to be recognized, McGarrett replied gently, "Danno, it's me – Steve! I'm not going to hurt you, I would _never_ hurt you."

The heart monitor began sounding out, just a small increase at first but the more agitated Danny became, the more his heart rate amplified until McGarrett could no longer ignore the fact that his presence was causing Williams to become physically upset. That was hard to bear.

"The bird sees us!" Dan whispered conspiratorially.

"What?" Steve said confused and looked around the room. "What bird? Danno…"

"Where the hell am I?" Dan asked again. "I…I don't like it here! Will somebody get me out of here? _Please_..let me go. I can't stay…I _won't_ stay! I have to go somewhere…_where should I go_?"

Tears began to well up in McGarrett's eyes in sympathy with those he now saw pouring down his friend's and he wiped the back of his hand across his cheeks, pushing aside the unwelcome wetness and not caring how it looked.

"Oh Danno, you have to stay right here my friend; I just told you, you're in the hospital!"

"No..something's not right. _I'm_ not right! Why are you keeping me here? When can I go? Please, _please_ let me go. One..two…three..four…four..five..six…seven..sev..," Danny tried to get up, struggling against the sheets tucked tightly across his limbs, his voice agitated to the point of being breathless.

Distressed by what he saw and heard, McGarrett reached over and, despite being asked not to, he gripped Danny's shoulder lightly, desperately concerned that he was losing what he had just gained. "Danno! Stop that.._why_ are you counting?" But his detective's eyes closed and the rainbow disappeared behind clouds of shame as Williams dropped back onto the bed and folded his arms across his chest, rocking from side to side.

"_Steve_!" A voice said harshly behind him and McGarrett turned to find Harry Bergman and a bristling nurse accompanying him into the room. Doc rushed to Williams' side and began checking his vital signs, in between talking to the head of Five-0. "I told you Danny was off limits, you deliberately disobeyed me!"

"What's wrong with him?"

"Sshh – _OUT_! I'll deal with you in a minute." Doc said quietly but firmly.

"But.."

"Nurse, get him out of here!" Bergman said angrily and was gratified to see Steve leave of his own accord.

The corridor outside had one long window, letting light into an otherwise gloomy pathway. McGarrett headed straight for framed daylight and cursed when he found no way to open the window from inside. Fingers scrabbling for purchase on a sealed pane, he thumped the sill in disgust and put his head on the glass, willing air into his lungs as he longed to fly away or jump from the claustrophobic walls closing in on him. The view of the car park wasn't much but just looking _out_ instead of _in_ was better than nothing. His heart was constricting with fear, anger and loathing.

A voice snaked into his head, _'…he'd been doing some crazy countdown, like he was fixated on something, each time they hurt him he just carried on counting. I guess it was to stop him feeling the pain, or thinking maybe about what was happening to him. He just sort of – I dunno - shut down!'_ Shut down…shut down..the echo went on and on.

"McGarrett!"

Steve banged his head deliberately against the pane a couple of times, leaving an oily smear and turned around to meet the angry physician. "Don't give me any _bullshit_ Doc," he said, "I want to know the truth and I want to know **NOW**!"

"Come on, the nurse is with him, we had to sedate him. I'll walk you down for a coffee." Bergman put a hand on Steve's arm in a gesture of support.

"Don't touch me!" Steve echoed Danny's words to him earlier, the hand as patronizingly unwelcome to him now as his had been to Williams.

Harry released McGarrett's arm and put his palms up in surrender, "Very well."

They walked in silence until they reached a small waiting area with a coffee machine in it. Despite staring at the vending machine, neither man made a move to secure refreshment; now wasn't the time.

Bergman finally broke the silence, concentrating on the back lit graphic photos of coffee cups, dark liquid and swirling smoke as he relayed information, "It's called Post Traumatic Amnesia or PTA if you like. After regaining consciousness from a coma, patients aren't just instantly well again Steve – it takes time for the brain to get back onto the same track as before; if at all." He turned to face McGarrett this time and saw the drying tracks of tears on the normally stone-like countenance but Bergman wasn't shocked, he'd seen the man of steel reduced to this and more where his friend was concerned.

Bergman leaned against the vending machine, as though the metal at his back would give him support. Steve said nothing, preferring instead to let the coroner talk. "First of all you have to understand that this is considered normal; it could last days or weeks, it all depends on the individual. Some loss of recent memory is inevitable and the patient can be agitated and confused, perhaps childish or aggressive; again this depends upon the person suffering."

Steve closed his eyes, registering the low frequency hum from the machine as he absorbed the information, "And in Danno's case?"

Bergman dropped his head to gaze at the floor, "Frankly he's not been awake long enough for us to be able to test how coherent he is from moment to moment; he's confused and doesn't know where he is."

"Will he get better? I mean what are his chances that he won't pull out of this?"

Doc smiled, "I think they're excellent that he _will_ come through it, but you need to give him time Steve, Danny's body has been through an awful lot but he is a tough young man and that's what we're all counting on. We just have to watch him and keep him quiet. He won't recall much of this part of his recovery but it will all come back eventually." He added cheerily.

McGarrett's hand unexpectedly clamped down Bergman's arm, his grip like iron, "Harry, don't you see that's _precisely_ what's worrying me? When it comes back Danno will know he's been assaulted!"

Bergman looked horrified and laid a hand over Steve's, "I apologize, in my haste to reassure you about his coma I didn't think about that. That's unforgivable - no wonder I'm the coroner now; I'm not used to dealing with live patients and their loved ones! Of _course_ we will make sure he has all the support he needs. Sorry if I sounded glib Steve."

"I know you are Doc, but do me a favor – don't ever try to make the raw truth brighter than it is, I'm not some gullible mother asking about her son, I deal in facts to help me form opinions, in Danno's case I _need_ honesty." Bergman nodded, ashamed for slipping up. McGarrett didn't have a brilliant reputation for for nothing, as the M.E. felt himself blush Steve continued, "In the meantime where does this leave us?"

"Well I'm sorry to say that Forbes and I still feel that your presence at such a crucial stage might be uncomfortable for Danny." When he saw McGarrett was about to object he added, "Steve, I think that you know that yourself after that little incident just now. Don't make me tell you how bad that was for Danny. It's stability of care he needs right now, not emotional upheaval."

McGarrett looked sheepishly at his feet, unused to being told he was wrong but Danny's reaction to him had been strong enough that he was too scared of doing that again to his kaikaina. He would wait until his 2-I-C was feeling better before speaking to him again. If only the room had been brighter, he was **sure** Danno would have been pleased to see him. "Agreed." He said and hated every letter in the word.

*******

Cool blue water caressed the boat's hull as the calm waves gently rocked it back and forth like a cradle. Ratchet Kaika stretched out on the sun-beaten deck and crossed one leg over an upraised knee, arms behind his head. He was staring at a fat bird surfing the breeze above him and beyond that two nebulous white clouds that were being inexorably drawn together. As the duo of cotton puffs met and blended, he laughed. The day was perfect; crystal water, cobalt sky, baking heat, freshly caught `ahi and frosted beer. For once in his life he was relaxed and silently thanked his brother for suggesting they sell the chop shop `business' and buy a boat instead. He had no idea what they would do when the money ran out but trusted his Kaikua'ana – Mano would come up with something.

As the conglomerate of water vapor crossed the path of the sun it momentarily blocked out the light and for a brief moment Ratchet thought of Koa. He missed his cousin but knew that, in the long run, Lukina had to go. It was all too easy for someone of his persuasion and stability to become loose-lipped and then the game would be well and truly up. Of Lupe and the kid – Sammie - there was no news. It was like they'd both disappeared off the island.

The sun re-appeared and Ratchet shrugged off his musings, preferring instead to concentrate on a voluminous belch rising in his stomach. He sat up, forcing the air out loudly through his mouth and reached for the beer. As he glanced across the predominantly blue horizon he heard an outboard motor then saw the small dinghy approaching. Mano was returning with supplies, weaving his way through the crowded waters off Waikiki. Ratchet hailed him with a wave and walked to the starboard to take the painter as it was thrown.

As the small boat coasted alongside, the younger brother secured the rope to the rails and held out his hands to grab some brown paper parcels. Mano's face was a mask of anger and Ratchet look up to the cloud, wondering if it had shadowed the sun again or whether he really had seen fury on his brother's countenance.

"What's up bro?" He asked the thick-set man.

"Help me up and I'll tell you what's _up_!" Mano threw back at him. Once on board he dived into one of the bags and chucked a folded newspaper at Ratchet, who deftly caught it.

"There, _that's_ what's wrong!"

Ratchet opened the crinkled paper, his face blanching immediately. Staring back at him from the front page of the Honolulu Star-Bulletin was Lupe Tanilofa's ugly mug with the headlines _ARREST MADE IN CONNECTION WITH SHOOTING OF FIVE-0 OFFICER_.

"_Shit_! What da hell happened Mano!?"

"For Christ's sake Ratch, how should I know what happened? Lupe's been doin' his own thing man, he was after da kid that's all I know."

Rachet lashed out with his foot, kicking beer all over the deck and allowing the rolling bottle to drop into the ocean with a splash and gurgle. "You know what this means?" he said running a hand through is hair. "We are _so_ screwed – he'll talk!"

"Hey get a grip, Lupe won't spill to da pigs, he's not pupule. He'll keep his cool, you can bet on it."

"Well he fucking well better because we're in BIG pilikia! You really think he'll take da wrap for us on this, cos I'm not so certain? This thing's gone from bad to worse Mano, all because of that haole cop! We've got blood on our hands man – let's not forget we murdered our kaine opio, ain't nothing gonna save us from spending da rest of our lives in Halawa if we get caught!"

Mano looked at his brother, trying to consider their options as the younger man paced back and forth. "Then we better make damned sure no one can find us!"

"Oh great, just _fucking_ great! We get to run for da rest of our lives because of that hapa-haole ass wipe Sammie and his stupid stunt! That cop cost us a lot – he's not dead and da lousy pig's got a brain chock full of ways to describe us, right down to da size of our…!"

Mano interrupted his tirade, "So what are you telling me Ratch? You want us to do da cop whilst he's in hospital?!"

Ratchet stared at his brother and shrugged his shoulders, "Maybe."

"Get with it bruddah, you can be so thick sometimes. How far do you think we'd get? You wanna waltz in there and waste Williams with McGarrett breathing over him like some avenging angel? That baby-faced piglet is probably protected tighter than a nun's ass, you wouldn't get within fifty feet of him."

"It's gotta be worth a try!"

"_Uh-uh_. Ain't _no way_ I'm going near that place, be like walking into da lion's den. I say we split. Cops won't come looking for us forever. Go to da Big Island or Lanai – we can hole up pretty good there."

Ratchet stopped a few feet in front of his bigger brother. "And just what, exactly, do we do on Lanai?!"

"I dunno, fish maybe – catch ourselves a living until da storm blows over."

"Great, just great! We leave all this behind," he extended his hand to encompass the view of Waikiki beach, "and go live in a grass shack in da back of beyond! No girls, no beer, no cars – just fish guts and flies. No _freaking_ way Mano – I'd rather be dead!"

"Don't tempt me kaikaina!" Mano growled, "It's my decision too and I say run. Let da cop live with his shame. He'll probably be screwed up for years if he lives."

"If we _kill him_ we don't have to worry what he says! We're free, don't you see that?"

"No, too risky."

"**Moa**!" Ratchet spat.

"What did you say?" Mano asked angrily.

"You heard me `_chicken'_!"

The bigger man slapped his brother on his cheek, "You don't EVER fucking call me that! You got no right – not after what I've done for you!"

Ratchet staggered backwards, shocked more by the fact that his brother objected to his behavior than the stinging blow itself. "It wasn't so long ago you wanted to strangle Sammie with your bare hands! Now you're baulking at finished that worthless pig – Sammie was a friend, Koa was family and that cop's just garbage! I was right, you're nothing but a _coward_!" He hurried to the cabin and down the few steps to his bunk.

"Hey Ratchet – _Ray_! You come back here we haven't finished talking!"

A few minutes later Rachet's head appeared at the hatch, "Oh I think we have finished. You've made it clear you want to run. I've told you what I want." He stepped back onto the deck with a full duffel bag and threw it over the side into the small wooden boat.

"Where are you going?"

"Where do you think bruddah?" he climbed over the side and added, "I'll plan it properly and then if I do this right we both get to stay! Does that pay you back for everything you've _done_ for me?"

"They'll catch you, Ray – listen to you me you pupule fuck! He's probably talked already. You'll never make it! Ratchet!!…Ratchet!!"

Ratchet started the motor and sat down, talking over the sound of the engine, "Maybe he's talked but he _won't_ get to court to testify! This might take some time - I'll find you on Lanai. You'll see big brother – I want to feel that cop's ass one more time - right before I blow him away!."

With that he was gone.

*********


	18. One Small Step For Man

CHAPTER 18: One Small Step for Man

Steve stormed into his office without so much as a glance at anyone outside and slammed the door closed behind him, "I have details of the men who assaulted Danny; I want an APB out on Mano Kaika and Raymond Kaika, aka Ratchet Kaika, right this minute! They should be approached with caution and are considered extremely dangerous." Silence greeted him as he surveyed his officers, "Well, what are you all waiting for - a _gold-edged invitation_?!" He raged as the three men seated before him stared back, stunned. They had been awaiting McGarrett's return from the hospital for their scheduled catch up meeting but weren't prepared for their boss' impersonation of a tornado, and that without so much as a `hello' either.

Duke Lukela leaned forward, intent on deflating the legendary temper before it boiled over, "Steve – are you okay?"

McGarrett dropped himself heavily onto his chair and rubbed a hand over his face,"Yes, yes I'm fine.. Look, I know Duke, it's not your fault, any of you – I'm just worried about Danno and I want to catch these _animals_. I NEED to get them off my patch, then maybe, just maybe, we can all rest easier!"

"We know bruddah, we're worried about him too." Chin offered.

"No Chin, I'm not just worried, I'm _scared_ for him. I've been talking to Doc and he says after coming out of a coma patients sometimes don't behave like themselves – well he wasn't himself today, he was different somehow and that, gentlemen, is what scares me! They've refused visitors for a while, he's off limits until he's adjusted. I hate leaving him like that - he was so…so _lost_ looking," He trailed off; unable and unwilling to say more.

The out-of-character depth of emotion behind their boss' speech surprised them and none of the men knew quite what to say to help. Steve's relationship with Williams was well known and accepted within both the department and HPD; all understood that no one suffered more when one of them was hurt than the other. No man could intrude on their friendship, nor alleviate their pain. McGarrett in particular was like a raging tiger when Dan was in jeopardy. This quiet fear was something new, like he had lost something already. Perhaps he had.

"It'll take time Steve."

"Yeah Duke," McGarrett straighted himself up, "meanwhile I want the Kaika's taken care of! I've spoken to Baxter and he's given us a description, but even with his co-operation we have very little to go on. So far as we know Danno was assaulted by these four men, I'm pretty certain the kid wasn't involved as anything other than a witness. The deceased, Koa Lukina, shot Danno where he was dumped. As to his murder; Baxter feels sure the man was threatened by his cousins; apparently he could be something of a loose-cannon and was weaker than them so it stands to reason that either the creep we have behind bars – Tanilofa - or those brothers, got rid of him.

Choi Min-Jee, Tanilofa's former girlfriend, is now prepared to testify that he sexually assaulted her and we have the shooting charges. Unfortunately there's not much likelihood of forensic evidence from Lukina's body because of the state of decomp. What we need is Danno's testimony to put him away for good. It's messy and we're relying on Dan to be his own witness - but dammit I don't know that he _can_ and frankly I'm not sure I want him to either."

"Steve," Chin threw in, "you're not going to give up on Danno just yet are you? He has a whole lot of healing to do but if it takes us forever we'll nail those guys. One way or another; with or without him testifying."

A chorus of agreements followed and although not satisfied, Steve cooled off, the strained interviews at the hospital had taken their toll and worn him to a frazzle. He was so tired he wanted to sleep for a week. "I know we have to deal with other cases but I want you to get everyone on the street to keep an eye out for these men, no stone un-turned. I also want an officer placed outside Danno's room as well as Baxter's – who knows if they will try to finish off their witnesses. We'll reconvene in an hour, meanwhile get started."

"On it boss," Kono answered for all of them and they departed gratefully; McGarrett's present state of mind hard for them to deal with - particularly without Dan to run interference.

*******

Three days passed without incident. Receiving progress reports as to his second-in-command's condition but being unable to see Danny was slowly driving McGarrett insane, he was churning up the floor around his desk, wearing the carpet thin in a steady circumference of beaten fibers. Jenny Sherman caught him muttering to himself on one of his regular round-the-desk trips and told the others she was concerned about his health; both mental and physical. They sympathized with her but could give no reply other than `he'll be better when Danny's back.' _Everything_ it appeared, would be better when Williams was back including, it was hoped, Williams himself.

The doctors assured Steve that Dan was making progress, what he didn't know was that the progress was painfully slow and hardly worth mentioning. Much of the time Danny was asleep and when awake - confused, but physically he was coming along nicely – or so they said. McGarrett wanted so badly to see his kaikaina – to reassure himself - just SEE Danny's face again. He decided he had enough of circumnavigating furniture and speaking to reassuring voices who knew nothing of what he, McGarrett, _needed_ to know. He grabbed his jacket and set off for the hospital.

*******

Every time Danny came to was like a fresh day beginning, each with their own difficulties to get past, even if he had surmounted them only hours before. This time was little different except today, as he blinked himself awake and yawned, the confusion was instantly thicker, weighing him down with puzzlement that had his heart racing and BP rising within seconds.

He understood what was happening but not _why_ it was occurring and he was almost too scared to ask. The nursing staff and doctors were all very kind and reassuring but none of them answered the fundamental questions he had in his head and it was making him paranoid.

There was also someone posted outside his door; a uniformed HPD officer, that he had noted on guard each time someone came in. Just _why_ was another mystery to him. He felt like a prisoner.

He was sure this couldn't be everything in his world – reduced down to an uncomfortable bed, pain, four walls, tasteless meals, medication, crisp uniforms, the pungent smell of Lysol and cheery faces who treated him like a fragile vase. He didn't even have clothes to wear. It wasn't good enough. He would just have to go and find out for himself what was going on _– out there_ – beyond the door.

He was restless and the more he thought, the more agitated he became; fingers tensing and relaxing on the sheets as nothing seemed to make sense any more. The walls were leaning in on him, he could literally see them moving towards him like the sheer faces of pyramids and stopping him from breathing. He needed fresh air, not an antiseptic cocktail and nothing to do but lie there staring at a fading print of palm trees, waiting for the next round of tablets or bland food. Questions darted in and out of his brain and he couldn't block them or answer them. He screamed at them to stop but only had more questions thrown back in return.

The anxiety became all-encompassing and with it came the dread; real fear oozing like an black oil slick through his mind. He wanted to run as fast as he could away from the room and never look back but he wasn't sure where he was running _to_ and he couldn't escape himself. He felt alone and vulnerable; the pounding in his chest was making his head spin. He was uncaring one minute, then choking on apprehension the next.

Strange images that made no immediate sense were terrifying him with their graphic nature. He had been seeing them for a while now. They didn't just come at night – they came when he was wide awake, launching themselves at him from the shadows when he least expected it. Snippets of something that could have been a movie kept running and re-running in livid color, whatever it was he didn't know how it had passed the censors. It made no sense to him except to leave him with a gut-wrenching and inexplicable feeling of terror that wouldn't cease and a requirement to throw up that he fought to suppress. When he thought about what the movie showed him he wanted to curl up and die. He knew it couldn't be real. This wasn't his life – _it couldn't be_.

"Have to get out..have to," He announced with finality as the feeling of butterflies in his stomach became too intense and his raw nerves shouted at him to RUN! Danny pulled the IV line from the catheter in his arm, staring over the bed at the drips as they continued to fall to the white linoleum; a pool of clear liquid forming in a circle on the floor. `Giant tears.' He thought sadly.

Danny knew it hurt to move too fast but today he would cope with the pain. His side was the worst, the wound still throbbed and movement caused him to perspire with the effort. He was also hampered by the cast on his wrist that he had no idea how he had broken. Pulling the sheets and blanket aside, he eased himself into a sitting position and lowered his stiff legs to the floor, taking in a sharp breath as the cold shot through his bare feet. Danny rocked back and forth until he gained enough momentum to lift himself from the bed with a moan. Even then he had to reach out and steady himself on the wall behind the bed as the room toppled left, right, up and down with alarming speed and the pyramid closed down even more. He almost fell but centered himself, breathing deeply until the spinning stopped and he could move again.

One unsteady foot in front of the other, hand clasped to his midriff, he progressed to the teak door, the rubbery floor chilly underfoot. Now to leave, but how? It occurred to him that finding solutions for things came easily under normal circumstances but these were hardly what he would call `normal'. If he was to spring himself he would need to make sure the officer wasn't outside. Screwing his face up in concentration he turned the door handle as quietly as he could and peered out through the crack. The contrasting noise and light in the corridor outside made him shut the door quickly, it assaulted his senses and he staggered backwards as though someone had hit him. The light was too fierce and intense, the noise incredibly loud by contrast to his dim and quiet detention room. He wasn't ready for this!

Despite the set back he had seen what he needed to; for some reason, as yet unknown, his watcher had gone. There was no one outside except the world and freedom – it was now or never.

Danny was not concerned at present with the fact that the gown he was wearing was open at the back, or that he had no destination in mind, all he was focussed on doing was releasing himself from the white-washed prison. Getting **OUT** was paramount.

Steeling himself for another attack on his objective, he gripped the handle in his hand and before he knew it was outside the door, not exactly ready to face whatever dangers lay in wait but unable to stop himself nevertheless.

********

The journey reminded him of dropping through clouds except slowed down to a crawl, how he knew this he wasn't sure. There were sounds all around but inside his head it was as peaceful as a desert floor at noon, all was muffled like the incredible nothingness of parachute jumping; no sound of falling – just being carried along on the air – momentum and gravity exerting their influence without conscious thought or ability to stop. He was free falling in the waking world.

Every now and then the foggy shroud parted to see the hospital around him then another cloud enveloped him and it was hard to see clearly again. There was one simple command – **move**.

He almost laughed, it was like being a ghost – no one saw him, no one stopped him he was almost _free_! As he passed a rest room door, held open by a cleaning bucket with a mop rammed into the jamb, he caught sight of himself in a mirror making him jump as at first he didn't recognize the gaunt looking figure, but after a second the realization that he was semi-naked sparked another command in its place. He had to find something to cover his gown. Danny paused, pressed back against the powder blue corridor wall and watched the stretching hallway, like some mad perspective sketch by Escher, doors and corridors running this way and that. After a minute or two he noted an orderly with a pile of linen come out of what looked to be a closet. He headed carefully down the cloud-covered hall to the door.

The clean, crisp smell of laundry emanated from the room and he opened the door to find a whole store room full of the stuff, lined from floor to ceiling with other essentials for keeping the patients clean and dry. He stepped inside, shutting himself off from the bustle of the hospital and attempted to focus his mind.

It took but a moment to find what he was looking for. The white boiled coat was pressed and ready to wear but as he tried to slip it over his arms, the plaster cast hampered his ability to push his hand through one of the sleeves and for a brief moment he seriously contemplated giving up; he was getting angry and upset, pushing and pushing to no avail and trying to force the material to give.

For some reason that he couldn't fathom, just the tiniest failure sent a sense of insecurity rushing through him and he felt like wrecking the place in his defeat; the clinical order of the shelves mocking him with their neatness . Deep down he KNEW it wasn't like him, normally he would never give up and that knowledge depressed him even more as he understood once again that something was terribly wrong with him. If only he knew what! The doctors had explained his coma and told him not to worry but they didn't know that they were only making it worse for him - with only pieces of the puzzle his mind was in fragments with no glue to put it back together. He was proud and self-reliant and the physical weakness and black despair that were his companions of late made it hard to bear. He was missing something so incredibly critical about his condition that the misery threatened to swallow him whole.

There was also a hole in his heart where something essential used to be – some _one_ essential, he realized and without that person he was strangely bereft.

His stomach hurt, his brain hurt and the world was both terrifying and fascinating. He sank to the floor and huddled there against the wall, half in and half out of his bleached coat of authority, cradling his throbbing wrist and hating his inexplicable feebleness.

He couldn't stop the bubbling brook of torment from overwhelming him and, biting his lip, wept silently through downcast eyes until he could find no more tears to shed.

*********

Steve McGarrett had to physically control the urge to speed toward the hospital. Once he had made the decision to see Danny's doctors in person he wanted to snap his fingers and be there. The congested traffic in town did nothing for his ravaged nerves and his palm hovered almost continually over the horn, temptation great to honk the thing until a path was cleared for him like Moses parted the Red Sea. He would have used the siren but stopped short of that by sheer will power alone.

Didn't anyone understand he was in a hurry?

He wound the window down and leaned out, willing the cars in front to move forward further than an inch toward his destination. He cursed under his breath and contemplated calling traffic division to move things along but he understood that the time of day meant jams and it was not something even _his_ influence could change.

Pulling his head back inside with an accompanying expletive, he slapped the steering wheel and decided to head in another direction. With much horn-blowing from other road users, Steve turned his Mercury around and began a detour.

*********

Feeling ashamed, Danny Williams wiped a sleeve across his damp cheeks, drying them as he brought himself back under control. His head ached so badly he thought it might explode and for one mad second imagined his blood and bone marring the pristine white linen. The clouds were there too and the muffled cocoon still enveloped him but he was concentrating on making himself think straight, blaming some of his weakness on painkillers and the mystery of his illness. He was determined to try again, frustration having gotten the better of him after just one attempt.

Dan spotted something and struggled up from the floor, foot nearly slipping on the polished lino as he tried to stand up. He held onto the shelves unsteadily, pulling himself erect and picked up the pair of scissors he had spied sticking out of a box before swiftly snipping the coat sleeve far enough up to fit the cast through. After pulling the garment on, he stared at the shiny implement in his hand before dropping it to the floor then made a poor job of doing the buttons up one-handed. When he was done, he felt a sense of calm replace the anxiety as he gained a small and pathetic victory. 'One for the team' He thought and then just as quickly wondered whose team he was talking about.

As he left the sanctuary of his temporary starched hideaway, Dan was suddenly struck by the impression that what he was doing was _wrong_. On the one hand he knew he had to get away but at the back of his mind an authoritative voice was trying to get his attention by telling him to **stay**, that he was stupid to leave – he was sick and needed help and this was the only place he would find it. He shook his aching head and tuned the volume down, dismissing everything but his earlier command to move. One foot at a time.

And still no one stopped him.

*********


	19. Just Who Do You Think You Are?

CHAPTER 19: Just Who Do You Think You Are?

How he reached the ground floor he couldn't say, with his mind on automatic pilot Danny stood mere feet from warm, clean air. He had two choices, go or stay but to him, whilst the destination was unclear the goal wasn't – he wanted to be alone – to leave and find his way home, whatever the consequences.

The ache in his side was worse, painfully stabbing him each time he moved but sense was overthrown by instinct and as his cold feet moved him inexorably forward he gave up thinking and simply walked to the clear glass doors at the side of the building, away from the busily populated reception. As he pushed the doors wide, a woman came in from the car park with a small child in her arms. Not bothering to look further than the white coat, both mother and daughter smiled at him as the flushed-faced young curly haired man automatically stepped aside to let them through.

If it had been bright in the hospital, outside was ten times brighter; the sun sizzling on the ground and gleaming off car roof tops and bonnets. It was a beautiful day in paradise but he never noticed because of the ever-present cloud that surrounded him. Hot air hit him and he sucked in a deep breath, the action causing a spasm in his stomach that almost caused him to swoon like a silent movie actress. Danny staggered forward, holding onto the stair rail in a death grip as he eased himself down the steps, bare feet burning on the hot concrete. He gritted his teeth against the pain, blue eyes squinting at the excess light and concentrated on nothing but leaving the area. As he walked through the myriad of cars in the parking lot each one became a temporary hand hold, his good arm leaning on the tops or sides to support his weight as he limped along between them. _Move…move…move._

For a sick man he was making a fair speed in his haste to be gone. There were trees ahead and some kind of green area that defined the edge of the hospital grounds. He headed for their leafy cover and a bench beneath, perspiring badly. He wanted to rest for just a few seconds before carrying on – his body telling him to sit before he fell.

As Danny felt the soft turf beneath him, blades of cool grass slipping between his toes, a bird flew past his eye line and he suddenly felt sick, he couldn't control the urge and hurried as best he could to a tall palm tree where, clutching his stomach in gut churning pain, he brought up the small amount of food he had ingested that day. He was coughing, eyes watering uncontrollably as he spat out the last of the offensive liquid. Every breath he took made him feel more ill, head throbbing as well as his body and to his eyes the watery horizon swung back and forth, tilting like a ship in a storm. He should never have left his bed but he _wasn't_ going back. The urge to sit forgotten in his panic, he decided he would rest only when he dropped. Wiping a hand across his mouth he crossed the green and headed for the road again, away from the infirmary.

If the sight of a shuffling, barefooted and strangely clad man clutching his side bothered anyone in their cars as they passed him they never stopped or pressed their horns, people kept on going, eyes front, driving away from him as though he were a crazy vagrant out for a stroll – someone to be mocked, pitied and avoided.

Danny had to keep halting, the fatigue catching up to him – he was hot and breathless, perspiration pouring from his over-exerted body and soaking the gown underneath the coat. Once he tripped on something and fell hard to his knees, grazing them with bruising force and jarring his broken wrist as he couldn't stop himself from placing it on the ground before him. He cried out and a sob escaped his dry throat. _Keep going…keep going….keep going_. He didn't know anything any more – confusion crowded his mind and as he heaved himself up from the sidewalk he fought the urge to run until his heart burst or his side split open.

Danny brushed grit from his bloodied knees and picked up speed, determination providing him with the adrenalin he required. He was headed towards a confluence of roads where vehicles were traveling far faster than they had been close to the hospital. He weaved erratically over the pavement a couple of times; foot stepping mistakenly into the gutter, close to the traffic and this time a loud blast on someone's horn scared him into straightening up and he pulled himself back just in time to avoid getting side-swiped. He couldn't see properly, his vision was blurred and the sun hurt his eyes. He wasn't sure what he was doing, or why he was doing it.

Escape…move… _keep going…keep going…faster…must go faster. _

*******

Steve McGarrett was just turning his Mercury around a corner when he saw something that literally caused him to jump with fright; of all the things he could have anticipated seeing this wasn't one of them. On the opposite side of the street a ghost-like figure was half-running, half-stumbling towards the main road - lurching drunkenly back and forth across the sidewalk and every now and then stepping to the edge where the gutter was, perilously close to the cars driving up behind him. He barely recognized his friend, the young man was as deathly pale as the inadequate outfit he was wearing and it was clear he was very unwell. What Danno was doing in the middle of the street and why no one had stopped him was a complete mystery. All he knew was that Williams was in trouble.

Steve wound the window down as he picked up speed and approached Danny, "_Danno stop!! Just stay there, I'm coming to get you_!" But Dan either didn't hear him or didn't want to; he simply carried on jogging-stumbling, his face grimacing with effort.

It was like watching a rabbit on a highway, knowing any second the terrified creature would make the wrong decision and be flattened by oncoming traffic. Dan wasn't frightened but he was _just_ as vulnerable. McGarrett wasn't sure whether to stop the car, stop the traffic or do a u-turn and pull up beside his friend. He had just opted to pull over when Danny made the wrong move and calmly stepped out into the road. Steve cried out **"DANNO NO!!"**

This time Williams heard a shout and looked up just as his side was pummeled by a fender, bouncing him agonizingly up in the air and back onto the windscreen – cracking it immediately and tossing him onto the ground like a novice cowboy off a bull's back. He lay there stunned, unsure what had just happened but feeling that this time he couldn't go on, the world was fading around him and he fought to stay conscious, someone had called his name and he wanted to know who it was.

McGarrett heard the screech of brakes, the panicked noise of horns being pressed repeatedly then a scream accompanied by a thud. There was the sound of a windscreen breaking as two cars collided bumper to trunk, metal crunching as one skidded and almost hit Steve's LTD that had come to a stop a short distance away. Without switching off the engine, he hurriedly got out and ran to the scene, unable to compute what had just happened - all he recalled seeing was his friend tossed into the air in slow motion and what looked like weightless feathers of glass scattered all around him. The two drivers were stunned but aside from whiplash appeared unhurt, their cars on the other hand didn't come off so lightly.

The tall Irishman's mind was focused on Danny and desperately searching around he saw him but a short distance away, lying curled up on his side and writhing in obvious pain. The Five-0 chief rushed over to his second-in-command's side and knelt down beside him placing a concerned hand on his face, unsure where his already damaged body had been injured. He looked terrible. "Danno where are you hurt?"

Confused eyes looked up at him with a glazed and almost vacant expression, the man was barely conscious.

"Danny you're hurt, where did the car hit you? Talk to me!" Aside from bruised and grazed skin on his knees there was no blood that Steve could see as he gently turned his suffering officer over onto his back, forcing the air out of William's lungs with a gasp. He had been lying on his wrist cast and it obviously was hurting a great deal, as was the healing gunshot wound, but what other injuries he may have sustained Steve did not know.

A crowd started to form around the two men and the lead detective scanned the audience, "Someone get an ambulance from the hospital, _fast_!" He ordered and heard a male voice acknowledge his request without actually seeing the good Samaritan's face.

"I'm sorry, it wasn't my fault, he just stepped out from nowhere, I never saw him until it was too late!" A female separated from the crowd and pushed to the front, staring down at Williams. "I…I couldn't help it! I hit him, oh God I hit him! Will he be alright?" She asked, clearly scared, her hands shaking.

"I don't know!" Steve said honestly, unable to keep the anger and concern from his voice then swiftly ignored her to concentrate on his partner. "Danno can you hear me? Help is on its way. Everything will be fine." From the angle and the dirt covering the white coat Dan wore it looked like he had taken the force of the blow on his left hip, landing on the bonnet of the car and rolling off onto the ground. Steve was reluctant to move him in case of internal injuries. He couldn't bear much more of this – each time he turned around it seemed that Danny was hurting

He took off his jacket and folded it carefully under the detective's head and pulled the coat and gown down around his legs, trying to make him more comfortable but something he did caused Danny to cry out and the sound was more than the driver standing beside them could bear, "Oh dear, I'm so sorry!" the woman said loudly and burst into tears, partly from the shock of the accident and partly because of the pitiful sound Williams was making.

"Miss, please go and wait on the other side of the road – will someone please stay with her? I'm a police officer." He stated and was gratified to see that the mention of his office brought action and she was whisked away.

Steve stood up and scanned for the ambulance which he was relieved to see trying to cut through the traffic stuck behind the accident, he turned back to Dan wanting badly to know why Williams was on the loose when he was supposed to be lying in bed with a guard outside the door but now was not the time to question him. Dan's eyelids fluttered and he was flushed with heat, "Hey my friend, the ambulance is here, I know it hurts but we'll get you back in no time."

Danny had the vaguest impression that the face hovering in front of him was important but couldn't give it much thought as his body was screaming at him. He ached everywhere, his hip, shoulder and side were throbbing and there were needles jabbing into his wrist. He thought he could cope with more if his head was clearer but that was pounding so hard he just wanted to vomit again. The man standing over him looked at him with sympathy and recognition – he had called him friend, which was strange because he couldn't quite recall seeing him before except in the fleeting moments he had been awake in between nightmarish bouts of sleep.

"Who are you?" Danny Williams asked Steve and McGarrett's eyes grew wide with shock.

He swallowed back the lump in his throat and offered in reply, "Someone who cares about you very much and wants to see you get better."

For some reason Danny accepted the truth of that statement and eased back into the older man's touch, "Okay," he replied weakly and closed his eyes before his whole body tensed then relaxed as he lost consciousness in Steve's hands.

*******

PTA the doctor had said, an amnesia that affects coma patients but Danny had been out of his coma for days now and Steve was sure the doctor indicated that although Williams was confused he would be fine, but of course Danno _wasn't_ fine, he had shown no signs, as far as Steve was aware, of realizing what had happened to him. Not once had Danny said anything about his assault and it was slowly dawning on the older man that his detective had also been unaware of his identity the whole time. Amnesia – post-traumatic – or more than that? Sam Baxter said that Williams had gone away and Steve had been frightened of that all along but he was so stunned by actually hearing the question from Danno's lips that he wasn't sure just how to proceed.

Thankfully that decision was taken out of his hands as two things happened, firstly the ambulance arrived and the crowd drew back to allow the professionals through to see to the accident victim and secondly Danny's eyes closed, overcome now with the need to rest. `_Who are you?'_ He had said and Steve couldn't begin to tell him.

Luckily Doc Bergman was on duty in the morgue when they wheeled Williams in and after the doctor was called up they took him into a cubicle to check him over. McGarrett was kept outside as the examination took place and once again he felt excluded from the proceedings. He resisted the urge to pace this time; feet firmly planted to the floor outside the room he refused to budge until he knew what was happening. Even then he was going to have it out with Bergman about Danny's mental condition. No one was going to tell _him_ that his detective would be fine!

Steve took it as a good sign that they didn't bring Danny out on a gurney and rush him through to any kind of surgery, perhaps they had been lucky. This was confirmed when twenty minutes later Bergman opened the door and stepped out, not letting McGarrett see around him to the room beyond.

"No fooling around Doc, I want to know all of it – _now_!" Steve began angrily and was pushed away from the door so he wouldn't disturb the man inside.

Bergman's bushy eyebrows knotted, "I don't quite understand Steve?"

"Aw don't give me that! I want to know his physical AND mental condition!"

"Ah I see. Well that's complicated."

"I don't want any more medical bullshit – just the facts of Danno's case. One; how bad are his injuries? Two; how did he get out of the hospital in his condition? Three WHY did he leave and finally why didn't he recognize me!?"

"Steady on Steve, give me a chance here! I had no idea about any of that – all I know is that he was brought in here as a road accident victim. You'll have to back track and tell me what's going on if you want my professional – or personal – opinion so don't go biting my head off and, more to the point don't do it outside Danny's room where he can hear us!"

"He's _conscious_?" McGarrett said, wind taken out of his sails at the thought. Bergman nodded and Steve slumped against the corridor wall sighing heavily, "You're right Harry, I'm sorry – I shouldn't be angry with you but I'm so _frustrated_ with all this."

"And you have every right to be! Look – they're going to take Dan down to X-ray in a minute. His wrist needs resetting and he's got bad contusions all over him, his hip and shoulder seems to have taken the brunt of it. Not sure about his neck and head, he's had quite a jolt although nothing appears to be broken, thank the Lord. Frankly he's not in terribly good shape at the moment, that was about the last thing he needed right now. Steve, I'm going to have to ask you to let us work on him _without_ distraction. If you can do that for me I will join you shortly downstairs in the waiting room and we can talk about your other concerns."

"Has he said anything?"

"He may be awake but he's not very aware of what's happening to him."

"Why didn't he recognize me Doc?" McGarrett asked sadly, that one concern uppermost in his mind.

"Look, I promise you we'll talk about this soon – the boys are here to take him for X-rays. In the meantime may I suggest you go and find out why your officer wasn't on duty when Danny got out!" Bergman added seriously.

"Trust me Harry I have every intention of knowing what happened so it _won't_ happen again!"

"Good, excuse me." The orderlies went into the room and Steve steadfastly refused to leave as they brought Williams out, looking like a shade of his former self, head braced and eyes glassy from painkillers. Despite the doctor's angry glare McGarrett stopped the gurney, leaned down to look at his friend and said gently, "Hey Danno, it's Steve, I'm your boss but more importantly I'm your _friend_ and whatever you're going through we will get through together, I promise you aikane."

"_Steve_?" Danny managed to croak out.

"Yeah," McGarrett smiled at the younger man.

"I don't remember anything."

McGarrett caught the small shake of Bergman's head in warning, "You will…give it time."

"…scared…why can't I remember?"

"Don't be; you're not well but doc here is going to fix you up and I'll be waiting here to explain everything to you. Do you trust me?"

Dan closed his eyes tiredly, "Don't know you…" he reaffirmed and McGarrett took the pain of that as stoically as he was able to as he squeezed Danny's upper arm reassuringly. "Well, I trust and know YOU Dan Williams and that's what's most important right now. Sleep my friend – you'll get better soon."

Bergman took over and Dan's eyes never opened as he said, "Right young man, we're off to take some photographs of you and then we'll get you somewhere for a nice, uninterrupted nap."

McGarrett watched them transport Williams away and wished he could go with them. If Tanilofa or the Kaika's had been within reach he was sure he would have pulled his gun out and shot them somewhere _very_ painful. They had robbed him of his friend, he hoped temporarily, but for that and the harm they had done he wanted them to pay. He was now plagued with another ghastly vision to accompany his sleepless nights, that of Danno bouncing off the top of a car.

Steve stormed off to find the HPD officer and give him a piece of his mind. He found the man sitting dutifully on guard outside Dan's room, apparently oblivious to the fact that the room was empty. As he saw McGarrett he stood to attention.

"_Where have you been_?!" Steve said angrily without any other form of greeting.

The officer looked confused, "Sir?"

"Where have you _been_? You left your post mister!"

The man looked at the door behind him and back at McGarrett, unsure how the Five-0 chief would know. "Er…yes sir I had to go down the hall, sort of an emergency." He said and felt his cheeks flush.

"Well whilst you were answering the call of nature your charge got away! No, no point in looking - Dan Williams isn't there. Because of you he got knocked down on the road outside, he's hurt and they've taken him to X-ray. How does that make you feel?"

The Hawaiian officer was stunned speechless, unable to even apologize he just shook his head and sat back down on the beaten up chair under him, embarrassed and upset.

"I'm calling someone else in to cover for you, you're relieved of this duty, you can go back to Chief Dann and tell him I want _two_ people from now on, so that if one of you has to go AWOL there's someone else here to safeguard my detective!"

The man finally found his voice, "I'm sorry Mister McGarrett, I didn't think…"

"Exactly – you didn't _THINK_! This could have been a whole lot worse. There is a point to having someone on guard duty, this time Williams was injured by a car but it could have easily been the men who shot him. Remember that next time you have the urge to go running off leaving a fellow officer vulnerable!"

McGarrett knew he was coming down too hard but it was Danny Williams' life that was at stake and he would brook no errors or relaxation whilst his man was being watched – after all - who knew who might be out there, _waiting_.

*****


	20. A Lesson in Patience

CHAPTER 20: A Lesson in Patience

The room was comfortable but, like everything else, sterile. The walls were painted just a shade lighter than the prison-reminiscent powder blue coloring outside. Along one wall were gruesomely graphic black and white depictions of skulls and brains in varying degrees of dissection, their key written in small hand. They were old prints and McGarrett hoped they were more a form of decoration than research. Along the other, lightboxes were fitted for the viewing of X-rays; a couple of which were staring back at him accusingly. It was the latest ones of Danny's neck and skull and he found it uncomfortable staring at the inside of his officer's body without him being there.

Doctor David Forbes sat informally in front of his desk, hands steepled in contemplation; sitting beside him Doctor Bergman was the only other solemn occupant of the room and between the three was a table furnished at short notice with coffee and cheap biscuits which were being completely ignored.

Despite the attempt at levity, the atmosphere was serious. It had been two hours since Steve had found Danny on the road and he was itching to see his friend as well as extremely concerned as to what the meeting might reveal. There was little doubt in his mind that something was very wrong with Danno and putting his trust in the hands of men other than himself was hard to do.

What with the D.A. badgering for a testimony from Williams, two dangerous criminals on the loose, a young man in custody that Steve wasn't quite sure what to do with and his best detective just delivered a set back due to the incompetence of HPD, his patience was at an all time low. Steve's hands were clenching as hard as his dimpled jaw and Bergman recognized the symptoms of what could very likely be a geyser-sized eruption of temper if they didn't get to the point soon.

Doctor Forbes, being that the brain was his area of expertise, began, "Steve, because of your concerns we thought it best to have a chat with you about what I – _we_ – think might be the issue here. Now you have to understand that Dan has not long been out of a coma, his head trauma was a concern right from the start and with it it is perfectly natural to have some kind of amnesia. What now appears to be the case is that his behavior today is more related to the abuse than any brain injury. In other words his mind has retreated from the reality of the assaults."

"Is that supposed to explain why he left the hospital?" McGarrett asked.

"Absolutely! Neither Harry nor myself have had a proper chance to talk to your boy since the unfortunate accident, he will need to rest for some time before any therapy begins, however what I think happened was a type of fugue – more specifically what is termed a `dissociative fugue', related to `dissociative amnesia'. A patient can suddenly and without warning feel the urge to travel away from home or a place where they are safe; unaware of their destination. This is usually accompanied by a loss of memory often relating to the fugue itself and, more specifically, they are confused and unclear about their own identity or the events leading up to their flight. It's often a temporary condition but considering the horrific attacks he endured I would say almost certainly it's what Williams is suffering from."

McGarrett wasn't quite sure how to assimilate the information he had just been given, Danny Williams was one of the strongest men he knew, it was his belief that only a physical injury would make Dan forget who, or what, he was – but a _mental_ condition? That wasn't like Danno at all. He found himself shocked at the idea. "Doctor forgive me but are you telling me that part of Danno's brain is protecting him from recalling what happened - that he's _deliberately_ made himself forget?"

Bergman chipped in, "Yes Steve that's precisely what we believe is happening here. Something must have caused him to shut himself away during the assaults, like packing your bags and going on holiday, he may or may not know who he is; that's unclear at the moment as we have all been addressing him by name but if he didn't recognize you - his closest friend - then I would say he's closed off at the very least a part of his life that relates to the abuse in order to safeguard his sanity. It isn't a _conscious_ decision, Danny wouldn't have had any say in what his mind did but even if it was who could blame him!?"

`Who indeed', thought McGarrett as he considered what his reaction to being brutally attacked by four men would be but he honestly had no idea. The horrors just kept on coming.

"Well, I have seen this type of thing before and believe it's entirely possible that the shock was too much for him to bear; his mind simply ran away." Forbes added glibly.

Steve shook his head and stood up, angry that the doctor would question Danny's courage. Near boiling point already, it would take one further insult to his Second-in-Command and he would fly off the handle.

Forbes waved a hand seeing that he had used the wrong choice of words, "Please Mister McGarrett – sit down. I didn't mean to imply that he isn't a brave man - on the contrary, I believe he is one of the most courageous individuals I have ever met – but evidence suggests his **subconscious** mind is protecting him, as it could anyone in his situation."

Steve sat, knowing the doctor to be right but angered and alarmed that he couldn't stop others from thinking such things about his friend; Dan wasn't a coward by any means. He considered again what the press, or fellow officers in the force, would make of Williams if they had the slightest hint that it was more than just a shooting. In Danny's position the gossip alone could finish him personally and professionally. He had goosebumps running up and down his spine at _that_ thought.

Forbes continued, "As you can imagine we have very few psychiatrists who specialize in dealing with male rape victims, the number of men reporting such attacks are far fewer than women and no one authority wants to deal with such things, there is little sympathy out there for something people don't understand. Therefore we have to find someone who can approach his case from a different angle, not give the game away so to speak before Danny has a chance to remember what happened himself. He would need to be guided through the process of remembrance without any hint as to what led up to his amnesia – if in time he recalls what happened then the person working with him would deal with that eventuality."

"Will he try to run away again?"

"He could Steve, correct me if I'm wrong David but I believe you said that the fugue state can be triggered by something, or indeed - nothing at all? Which makes it hard to predict."

"You're right. It can last for hours or days or simply come and go. No way to tell what might set him off. My suggestion would be to keep an officer on the door as before but make him aware that Williams shouldn't be moving around the hospital without company. Use whatever excuse you need to."

Bergman sat forward in his chair, aware that Steve was overwhelmed with it all. The last thing McGarrett needed when trying to run Five-0 was one of his officers down with a mental condition or kept a virtual prisoner whilst he recovered. But this was **Danno** and where Williams was concerned Doc knew Steve put everything on hold for his friend; particularly after what the young man had been through. He would do what was best for his colleague. "Steve, Danny needs some form of security right now. IF, and I'm not saying it's definitely the case, he is suffering from this type of amnesia he's pretty lost in his own mind. Danny's no doubt feeling extremely vulnerable and anxious without some familiar support. We can administer to his physical well being and comfort but I would suggest perhaps you try and bring the security aspect into play? Just until he's ready for some counseling."

"Doc I **need** to be of some use to him but if he doesn't recognize and trust me how am I to break through that?"

"You will have to remind him how close you two are, who knows it might be just what he needs to trigger his memories and what YOU need to keep out of our hair. I think David here might disagree with me but you could be just what **this** particular doctor ordered!" he said in a stage whisper.

Beside him Forbes laughed, "Yes, I do disagree – I think the your man needs rest and support from the medical staff until he's ready for therapy but I have to admit that I've seen you two working together McGarrett and there's no doubt you have a special bond. Perhaps I can be proved wrong!"

Doc Bergman smiled and winked at Steve, "Well that settles it then, unless Danny's Aunt Clara is likely to fly from the mainland and take over I would suggest that visitors be temporarily restricted to just you Steve – but remember – say nothing that would trigger his memories of the events leading up to, or during the assault, you may be lighting a fuse that will go off in both your faces!"

"I'll remember. I don't know what to say, frankly I have no idea what I can do that will help him but I'll do my best. I have to for both our sakes! I need to ask you," McGarrett was loathe to ask the question but knew he had to, "will he _ever_ be well enough to take up his post at Five-0 again?"

Steve saw the look that passed between the two physicians and held his breath, Forbes answered for him, "Honestly I couldn't say, it depends on how well he reacts to counseling. There is no question he will be physically fit enough to go back to work within two or three weeks however if his amnesia continues, then you would have to make that decision yourself depending on his abilities. The only thing that would hamper him is how much he has forgotten and that we cannot say at present. Be prepared to see some changes in his behavior but understand that anything that appears out of character is just his mind adjusting to very serious traumatic events. We need to do more tests. Sometimes hypnosis and drugs can aid recovery, but, like I said, we won't be able to start anything until he is feeling well enough."

The Five-0 chief looked lost. Bergman took the extreme liberty of touching McGarrett's arm as he said with compassion, "Steve, we know this isn't just hard on Danny, it will take time but there's a good chance he hasn't lost all his memories, just selective ones – given time he may recall most of his background. Just offer him your support and love and we will help as best we can."

There was no way that Steve could show what he was thinking in that room, he needed time to think and space to do it on his own; hypnosis, therapy, counseling – these were all words that didn't figure in his world of black and white, naturally he had seen men traumatized during the war - had himself suffered, but the fundamental idea of someone he cared about losing a part of himself because of what others had done to him wasn't something he cared to contemplate nor, if he was honest with himself, could he understand in a male-orientated world. If it wasn't Danny Williams lying in the bed in this very hospital would he have been as sympathetic to the notion? He wasn't sure and that, on some deeper level, made him feel callous and superficial. Never one to show what he was feeling inside, the sheer enormity of what had taken place to his man was something he could never begin to understand; he wasn't naïve but he was sheltered from some of the deeper workings of the human psyche and now had to consider that perhaps he had never touched the surface of what men were capable of. He thought of Lupe Tanilofa standing over his friend and it made him shudder.

"Can I see him now?" He said as his mind ticked over in shock.

"Sure just for a few minutes."

******

It was the same room; same bland four walls with their pointless and kitsch collection of tree prints adorning them alongside stern hospital logo-stamped announcements and rules. Beneath the faux arboretum the sheets had been changed prior to the return of the bed's occupant and fresh air blew in through a partly opened window making the blinds rattle like wind chimes.

Williams wasn't asleep, rather he was staring at the ceiling, eyes peering up at off-white polystyrene tiles, his body stiff with pain. He was trying to assimilate the information he had been given by the man with the dark hair and earnest face. Now he knew his was the voice that called to him sometimes in his nightmares and he vaguely recalled being concerned that he would be `late for Steve' but for what and why he didn't know. There was something indefinably strong about the man who had introduced himself as Steve and now Danny knew from the staff was Steve McGarrett – Danny couldn't put his finger on it but he felt strangely comforted that they were supposedly friends. He was dizzy with confusion and ached more than he could ever remember - all he wanted to do was go home but home, he understood with trepidation, was not a place he could recall. For all he knew he didn't have one. He belonged nowhere – no name, past, life or purpose. Redundant – _broken_.

"Hello." A voice said. He turned his head stiffly – neck painful to move more than a few inches and saw a figure hovering in the entrance to the room. It was Steve McGarrett. '_Think of the Devil' _he thought then swiftly reassessed the comment to something more benign and positive, a guardian angel perhaps?

Steve was nervous, almost shy in Danny's presence, for the first time ever in their relationship he wasn't sure how to proceed. Normally the one with all the answers, the deductively brilliant detective had never faced something before that made him feel so consumingly inadequate. He wanted to treat Danno the same as before but knew he couldn't and that hurt him more than he was willing to admit.

Dan swallowed, a weak greeting escaping from his parched lips, "Hi."

"Okay if I come in?"

Danny couldn't shrug but wanted to, he didn't care – nothing that happened to him at present was under his control, if this man with the rich, deep voice wanted to talk to him how was he supposed to stop him?

The closing and opening of Danny's eyes was the only answer McGarrett was likely to get. The slender man walked right up to the bed rails and put his hands on them, aware from their past encounter that touching Dan was taboo.

"How are you feeling?" Loaded question.

Williams blinked and locked gazes with Steve, "Why do you want to know?" He asked simply.

Steve smiled, "Because I'm your friend, remember?"

"Oh."

"Are you hurting much? Can I get you anything?"

"Do you always ask questions?" Dan snorted, feeling defensive and vulnerable in his position.

"Sure, it's my job. It's your job too you know."

Head propped against unforgiving pillows, Danny's forehead creased in confusion. "My _job_?" McGarrett nodded, unsure how much further he should go with revealing the past just yet.

There was a moment or two's silence as though Williams were formulating a vitally important question of his own to ask, eventually he spoke with trepidation, a quaver in his voice, "Am I under arrest?

Steve's mouth dropped open in surprise, "Why on earth would you think that?"

Dan sighed heavily, "Two uniforms outside; I figured it had to be bad. I just can't recall what I've done. I've been trying to remember but nothing is coming back to me. I think I've been to jail before, there are these flashes of bars and prisoners. Am I some kind of criminal?"

McGarrett pulled a chair round and sat on it, he couldn't stand up, eyes glistening with pity, "Oh Danno, no one is arresting you for anything! You're not a bad person or a criminal, just the opposite. They're just there to protect you."

"Truthfully?" Danny turned back to stare at the ceiling again, silently relieved that his conclusions had been erroneous. "What from?"

Now Steve really was getting into water too deep and murky for their first conversation since Dan had come out of his coma; he wasn't sure how to side-step that one so chanced a diversion instead. "You never answered my question, how are you feeling?" He could sense he wasn't trusted yet and that hurt him more than he could say.

"I think I got hit by a truck."

"No, a car, you had an accident. You shouldn't have left here, you aren't well enough yet."

"I left?" he asked, confused. "I don't remember that."

Steve leaned forward, concerned that such new events weren't being recalled; perhaps his mind wasn't capable of making new memories or pulling forth old, "You left the hospital and I saw you walking down the road, that's when you got hit."

"**Oh**." Was all he replied again and winced as his back muscles spasmed.

Steve saw the look of pain on his friend's face and felt impotent, "Can I get you something? Do you need the doc?"

"No, I'm just tired and confused. I think I need to stop thinking now."

McGarrett got up, sensing that his brief moment with his friend was done, "Then go to sleep Danno."

"I…I _can't_." Danny actually looked scared as he concentrated hard on the tiles above him, he felt chilled inside and out - unsure how to reveal a private part of himself to the person he still considered a stranger; albeit a friendly one.

Steve noticed he was shivering and wanted to pull the sheets up over his friend's shoulders but wasn't sure how Williams would take that. "Why can't you sleep?" he asked gently instead.

He had to release some of the burden, and now was as good a time as any, "I ah..I see things." He was actually trembling now, the action of recall scaring him. "Not good things Steve and I don't know if they're memories or if I'm just having weird dreams! They're awful, _unnatural_ things but I just can't remember anything, no details and I don't know whether the visions are real, or if _I'M_ real or if I'm simply going mad!"

McGarrett wasn't sure whether to be happy that Danny had decided to mention something so personal to him or to be desperately worried. The use of his name didn't go un-missed either. This time he did pull the blankets up, reaching across the bed and tucking them over the patient's cold arms, taking care not to pull on his cast as he manoeuvered it carefully under the covers. Strangely, Williams didn't object to being touched, too far gone in his musings to care.

With these small acts Steve tried to give the younger man some reassurance that he was being taken care of and not alone. He couldn't imagine how his friend was feeling, like being on the brink of insanity and trying to claw your way back out of the darkness. He risked a rebuke but couldn't resist a light squeeze of Dan's shoulder. Danny rolled his head to look deep into his Steve's eyes, the intensity of the lost gaze drilling through to the back of McGarrett's skull with such a look of wretched desperation that he couldn't hold it long and glanced away before saying, "I am going to try and help you, if you'll let me. I told you you're not alone Danno and I mean it. Together we'll find a way to get your memories back and then you'll be back to work in no time and feeling fine!"

"You're my boss right?" Danny asked, still shaking but feeling warmer for the reassuring words and affectionate touch.

"Yes, and your friend and right now I am more the latter so how about I make you a promise? If you want to rest I'll stay right here when you go to sleep and if I see you having a nightmare, I will wake you up."

"First you have to tell me – _who_ am I and _what_ am I? The doctors told me some things but I want to hear it from you." He asked desperately, the void was too dense, too empty, he had to have something to hold on to whilst he drifted in the abyss and somehow he knew he could trust the dark man before him. There were no relatives at his bedside, no one's breast to cling to when the tears became too much to bear, just this statuesque and solitary individual who promised a more bearable life for the sharing of his soul.

Without hesitation McGarrett understood he had to do it, he knew that Forbes and Bergman would be upset but he sensed a need in his friend that could only be soothed with information, Steve sighed and said factually, "You are Detective Dan Williams, a police officer with Hawaii Five-0, you are a damned fine policeman and my Second-in-Command. You got injured in the line of duty but you are getting better. You're single but very popular with the ladies, also brave, honest, clever, hot-headed, stubborn, trustworthy, loyal - oh and you love to surf. Most importantly you are a very dear friend to me and I trust you with my life. Now sleep and when you trust _me_ enough we will talk more and I will tell you all your bad points!"

Danny's eyes filled to overflowing, going over the words in his mind then repeating them quietly over and over. 'Police officer' and 'line of duty' he felt comfortable with but `brave' he was not, not now – was he ever? He said no more, simply absorbed the information and tried to picture his life which up until a few moments ago he wasn't sure existed. The words McGarrett had spoken weren't foreign to him, deep down he knew all those things but there was a veil across his memories that he was finding it hard to penetrate, it hurt each time he came close to piercing the fog and he backed away. Perhaps in time he would be fine as this tall stranger had promised. No – not a stranger – Danny decided – a forgotten friend.

Finally succumbing to the comforting presence at his side, he licked his lips, then bit the top one reflectively in an oh-so-familiar Williams look before turning his head and, watching McGarrett for any sign of deception, asked, "Will you stay while I sleep?"

If necessary Steve would stay forever, how could he leave when his friend needed him so badly? Work would come later but for now he had a promise to keep, "I will stay for as long as you need me kaikaina."

******


	21. A Very Human Jigsaw

CHAPTER 21: A Very Human Jigsaw

The human brain weighs just three pounds; forty-eight ounces of delicate electrical and chemical brilliance. Unimaginably complex, man has yet to discover a fraction of its capabilities. This hideous gray and white mass of organic matter houses the most powerful computer in the world. Inside each and ever one of us is a powerhouse of emotion, knowledge, memory, sensation, skill and calculation – billions of cells working in tandem to orchestrate your way through the day. Neurons bursting into life with incredible speed as we `download', `upload', input and output.

For Danny Williams everything was working fine except for large blank areas pertaining to certain periods of his life; it seemed that anything surrounding his police work and identity as a detective was missing – blocked by the same incredible living machine that allowed him to walk, talk and sense things. He now accepted his name and recalled information from childhood, right through his teenage years into adulthood, but after that all memory ceased to exist – there was no Academy, HPD, Five-0 or Steve McGarrett. Neither was he comfortable touching on the subject; each time he did it made the hairs on the back of his neck stand up and he had no idea why. He felt fractured; like a jigsaw puzzle where you couldn't see the picture because crucial pieces were missing.

As Steve McGarrett and Five-0 continued to work on the missing suspects, Williams was having a hard time coming to grips with the information being presented to him. Every day more stories poured forth from his attentive visitor, McGarrett always carefully skirting around the shooting or anything that could upset the younger man. He told him how he was recruited from the police department, his incredible record within the force and since, who his friends were, the adventures that he and Steve had had together; surfing, hiking and fishing, coaching Little League, his sharp shooting record and sporting achievements, even women. Anything and everything McGarrett could talk to Danny about he did, often amazing the sick man by recounting his heroics, only to find Williams blush at the telling and vehemently deny he was capable of such things. It made Steve proud and humble to remember all he did and it was a poignant reminder of how much he would lose if his Second-in-Command was taken from him. If Williams didn't recall his past he would not only lose a brilliant police officer but his closest personal companion. Memories were best shared between friends.

At times, as he was listening, Danny sensed there was more beckoning to him, like an echo at the periphery of his mind, but each time he strove to focus it disappeared. It was a ghost viewed from the corner of the eye; a fleeting glimpse of the shadow was all he saw and if he looked closely there was no sign of it having ever been there. It was frightening and Danny thought he was going crazy. He also suffered from debilitating headaches and fogged vision but the doctors were convinced they were unrelated to his head injury; just another bi-product of amnesia and stress. He knew somehow it had to do with the dreams but no one told him anything remotely similar to his visions and he was frankly too scared to ask. What if they were real?!

He felt useless and cowardly, hiding in the hospital and behind McGarrett's skirts when he ought to be out searching for his own answers. He was tired, angry and emotionally stressed to the maximum, his temper stretched like a man on a rack – and he had no idea why.

Aside from the medical staff, only McGarrett came and went freely, others had to wait. The Five-0 Chief wanted to give Danny some reassurances that he could be trusted by him completely before exposing him to curious but well-meaning friends and colleagues or the probing necessity of a psychiatrist. If Williams needed a crutch to lean on then he would be the one. Solid and sure he would stand by his friend's side and guide him out from wherever he was lost.

Since the onset of his fugue Danny had twice tried to leave the hospital, but strangely had no recollection of doing so. Apparently stopped by the officers outside his door he had grown accustomed to the sight of police uniforms and those too were beginning to weave comfortably across his memory. Perhaps the man with the dark hair was right, he did belong on the force. It was now dawning on him that whoever had shot him had done so because of _what_ he was, not _who_ he was.

As the days passed, two officers became one. It happened just after he heard Steve McGarrett arguing in the corridor with someone called Chief Dann who apparently needed the extra man-power elsewhere. There would be one man shifts from now on, all they could spare for a recovering officer apparently not in peril for his life. McGarrett was mad as hell, believing Williams was still in danger but agreed knowing the HPD Chief was `administratively correct', but it didn't stop Steve from threatening that any officer who left their post unattended without cover would face his personal wrath.

This morning, after a particularly harrowing night terror, Danny awoke in a blind panic, only to find McGarrett propped up in a chair next to his bedside. The man looked haggard and worn, as though he had slept cramped up in the uncomfortable piece of furniture the whole night long. Steve's neck was crooked at an odd angle and Dan began studying him with renewed interest. There was something about the set of the man's jaw and comforting presence that the amnesiac was trying to wrestle with in his memory. He was sure that he had experienced this before; being ill and waking up to find his friend beside him. It disturbed him and he found himself unwilling to explore the depth of his feelings for someone he thought he hardly knew.

The shuffle of rubber on lino and the squeak of a wheel in bad need of oiling, disturbed the sleeping man and Steve came to with a start, sitting up fast, ready for action only to find a nurse coming in with the breakfast tray for Dan she had taken from the food aide outside. The smell of hospital fare was a strange combination of mouth-watering and disturbingly disinfectant and McGarrett's stomach growled.

Glad for the distraction, Williams automatically accepted the tray and a small pot of pills before thanking the nurse with a soulless smile. She hovered over him frowning until he apparently swallowed the tablets down with a gulp of lukewarm coffee, "Someone will be up shortly to take you for some exercise Mr Williams. Won't that be nice?" She said with a sugary and unwittingly patronizing voice then turned on her heal and left without waiting for an answer.

"Must they do that?" Dan mumbled as he watched her retreat, presumably to cajole her next patient. He was trying to recover his balance from the nightmare and as a consequence his emotions were raw.

"Do what?" Steve asked and yawned, covering his mouth with one hand.

"Treat me like I'm some kind of child! I'm temporarily incapacitated - not stupid; telling me I'm going to be taken out and exercised like a dog on a leash!" He ceased his ranting when he saw how tired his temporary room mate was. "Have you been here all night?"

"Must have been! I'm surprised they let me do that again."

Danny nodded distractedly then lifted the tin lid, exposing what passed for food to the light of day. After a couple of sniffs and a grimace, he replaced the cover and pushed the table back. He wasn't hungry. He never seemed to be hungry nowadays.

"You have to eat Danno." Came the mild rebuke.

Williams sat back further on the bed, shifting his weight more comfortably, very aware of his healing injuries and moistened his lips, "I'm fine. I don't need you, or anyone, to tell me what to do. Have it if you want, it's disgusting."

Although he clenched his jaw, McGarrett said nothing, biting back an acid retort like he had on so many other occasions recently. Over the past few days his detective had developed an attitude that Steve had found it hard to understand. In spite of the reassurances from Forbes that it was normal, Williams was acting out of character with mood swings that drifted from verbal sarcasm to sad and ashamed and a hundred variations in between. No doubt there was an intense internal conflict going on even if Dan said he didn't recall his assaults. The keen detective in McGarrett would catch a glimpse of his friend's empty eyes every now and then and wondered if that was completely true. He recognized that on some level Danny knew what had happened to him, and that the doctors were right - his mind was hiding it from him. If only he could break through the barrier perhaps all of his memories would return? But if they did how would Steve cope with the knowledge that Dan remembered being raped?

Somehow they would get through, he trusted in the depth of their friendship and Danno's strength, he had to – he had nothing else.

"Doctor Forbes was telling me last night how vital your physical well-being is to your mental health..,"

"Why do you do this?" Danny suddenly asked, fixing McGarrett with a vaguely irritated look that he couldn't control.

"Why do I do _what_?"

"Sit there, day after day talking to me, trying to cheer me up – reminding me about my past? The stories mean nothing to me!"

"Oh." Was about the best Steve could come up with; somewhat taken aback by the comment even though he knew it was patently untrue, Danny had been deeply affected by the stories – the mutual tears and laughter proved it.

"You obviously have a lot of work to do running Five-0 yet you tire yourself out by coming here - why? Because you're my friend? Thanks for the help Steve but I just need to get out of here. I'll find my memories in my own way. Why don't you go home and get some real rest?"

"Do you want me to leave?" His boss asked, eyebrow raised. Danny said nothing, an answer in itself, "Very well, I'll go for now but only because I need to. I'm going home to shower then to the office but I'll be back - you can bank on it!"

"Look Steve…I'm sorry..I just..,"

"Yeah Danno?"

He wanted to say he couldn't help himself, that his temper wasn't something he had control over, that he didn't know why he was pushing McGarrett away or beating himself up about things, that he never wanted to feel sorry for himself – that he needed help and was lost. That he was grateful… Instead all he said was, "Nothing. It's nothing." Then went quiet as a male orderly came in and asked Danny whether he fancied escaping for a walk after breakfast. Unsure what else to say and unhappy at the interruption as he felt sure Williams has more to say, McGarrett offered his goodbyes and left them to it. He didn't see the distressed look that crossed his friend's face as he went, it was the look of a tormented soul begging for release.

******

Ratchet Kaika was becoming adept at keeping out of the way of the police by hiding in the plain sight. It was a trick he had learned when hunting and it served him well; camouflage was the key when stalking prey, that and waiting for the right moment to pounce.

He Content to bide his time as he had told his brother he would, he watched the comings and goings at the hospital and even saw Sammie when they transferred him out. Baxter he could get to later, it was the cop he wanted. The man who could put them away for a very long stretch. He wanted Dan Williams.

Kaika pulled his red baseball cap down low over his nose, wiped his hands on his coveralls to rid his palms of moisture and went back to appearing to repair some phone lines across from the hospital. From under the shadowy brim he noticed the familiar long strides of McGarrett as he ran down the steps and leaped into his car. The Mercury was driven off with its customary screech of tires and Kaika smiled.

Usually at this time of day the chief Five-0 pig was with his boy and Ratchet just _knew_ him leaving was a sign that today was a good day to begin the end. It was a risk but life was full of those and he was tired of waiting. Earlier that morning he had spoken to Mano on board their boat, it was a brief conversation; after their argument he wanted to tell his brother he loved him in case anything went wrong. Mano tried talking him out of it but Ratchet insisted it was the only way to secure their freedom. Unable to sway his kaikaina, Mano offered to wait at Fisherman's Wharf until three pm for Ratchet to appear, one minute longer and he would set sail for the islands without him.

Determined to prove himself, Ratchet packed up his tools and ambled nonchalantly toward his van before driving the short distance to the building, right up to the underground garage entrance. Parking there was for hospital staff only and as such out of bounds to the general public, but over the last couple of days he had gotten to know the security guard on the barrier and pre-warned him that sometime soon the telephone company would start checking the basement lines for a wiring upgrade. He had such a friendly tone and innocent way about him that the dull haole man in the booth never suspected he was anything other than he said he was. He never questioned the fact that Ratchet had no branding on the van or that he had been a ridiculously long time on one job so today, when the youngest Kaika brother told him that he was there to look at the wiring, and began to fish `papers' out of the breast pocket of his coveralls the guard shook his head and waved him through with a smile, a quick riske joke and a comment about the playoffs. It was a breeze.

Once inside, Ratchet parked close to the elevator and went to ride it to the floor he knew Williams to be housed on. Tucked into the waistband of the jeans he wore underneath the open-fronted work clothes was a gun, the metal cold against his stomach. It was surprising what you could hustle from people who owed you favors.

*******

Danny walked slowly down the half-empty hallway, his pajama and dressing gown-clad body aching with every stride. The wound wasn't hurting him so much now, just the muscles from lack of use, but the aches and pains from the impact with the car had taken their toll on his strength. Painkillers made his head too fuzzy and he had become adept at hiding them so he could put his mind to better use. Sometimes his body cried out for a different type of analgesic – preferably a nice long glass of cold beer or a warm, peaty whiskey.

The police officer, who obviously knew him before the amnesia, still introduced himself as Kimo when he came on shift. He was following them as a discreet distance, far enough away that Williams felt like he had some privacy to talk (not that he wanted to) but close enough to see his charge. Occasionally they got separated around a corner or two but he always caught up.

The orderly with him was pleasantly attentive but it was clear the middle-aged man was bored with his task. Shorter than Williams, he filled out his uniform with a gut that would have done a department store Santa proud. Dan heard the pseudo-cheerful chatter as his companion spoke to him but the words never sank in. He had drifted back to his own personal world of confusion, reviewing his harsh comments to McGarrett with shame before sinking into the cesspool of visions. Many of the elements were familiar to him by now; a car, a table in a shed, small black eyes peering at him from above, the feeling of being vulnerable, agonizing pain and men whose faces were obscured; he couldn't see their features, just a moving flesh-colored haze where their heads should be. As the resurgence of memories escalated with heart-pounding force, images began to swirl around him and it felt as though he was actually there, in a solid room with four walls. It was like someone was painting a picture as he watched, the colors and textures bleeding into his sight with incredible speed as the brush stroked the canvas of his mind and formed an image that he gasped at.

In this picture he was surrounded by the faceless ones as before but one vision began to stand out more clearly amongst the rest, etching its way through the fog with crystal clarity then punching him with its intensity - he was lying on his back, naked, and a man had just made him climax. It was his strongest waking dream yet and the reaction from his body shocked him to the core, that and the humiliating gales of laughter echoing through his mind. Was this a memory of something he had **done**? Something he had participated in and _enjoyed_?

"_Oh dear God!"_ Williams exclaimed and he stumbled, almost collapsing; unable to cope with the force of the alien feelings rocketing through him. The quick reaction of the orderly saved him from falling and as the man helped him to stand, Danny's weak knees gave way again but deceptively capable arms held him aloft and he found himself truly grateful for the support as he leaned heavily on the stout man's shoulder. Tears welled up in his blue eyes and he couldn't see for the water – had it truly happened? Could a man make him feel that way? Make his body do _that_?

"You okay Mr Williams? You look like you had a shock."

For a second Dan couldn't speak, he was rigid with fear – fear that it might be real and not some fiction he had concocted. Trying to retain some control of his emotions he knew now was not the time or place to question what he had seen or felt. He was bitterly sorry that he had sent McGarrett home, for the first time he felt the urgent need to confide in someone, someone he could trust and the more he thought about, the more he needed to trust in Steve. He would tell him what he feared, what he had been harboring inside himself for days. He would do that – or he would go mad.

Danny was wrenched from his degrading daydream by the noise of people coming up behind them and he and his companion stepped automatically to one side, the orderly letting go of his patient as a large group of interns and nurses filtered down the corridor chatting about the nervous system and other such medical miracles, temporarily obscuring his HPD sentinel who was lagging behind. Still somewhat in shock, Williams heard the _ping_ of a elevator door opening just next to him and turned his head at the noise.

The next few moments went so fast he would never be sure exactly what happened.

The stunned look on Ratchet Kaika's face as the doors slid back to reveal Detective Williams standing in a crowded hallway was something to behold. He never suspected that the man would come to him! It was like a gift from the gods and he immediately dropped the tool box on the floor of the elevator with a clatter, stopping the door from closing and reached for his gun, raising it at the stunned young man in the brilliant blue pajamas.

The orderly next to him cried out in horror as he saw the black metal in the stranger's hand and he backed away fast, running in the direction of the HPD officer – pushing his way through the milling students and creating panic by shouting "Gun! There's a man with a gun!"

In the ensuing mayhem no one noticed exactly who the person with the gun was or how precisely it affected them - or anyone for that matter, there were too busy running back and forth like headless chickens.

"You're dead Williams!" Ratchet said nervously and a bead of sweat trickled off his nose. Now it came down to it he wasn't sure he could pull the trigger – this was a cop and other cops didn't take it lightly when you killed one of their own. Perhaps his brother was right. Besides which there were now what seemed like hordes of witnesses and the telltale sight of a cap bobbing above the rest as a cop headed toward them. If he wasn't careful it would all be over before it had begun.

"Who are you? How do you know me?" Danny asked in a haze – the fact that someone knew him was more of a surprise than having a gun trained on him. That part didn't faze him all at, but the use of his name did. It was like he was suddenly in control of everything but his memory, like he was on autopilot. His body tensed and he was weighing up the options of the situation and the risk to civilians around him. If he went for the gun who might get hurt? How could he disarm the man? Could he jump him and survive? Where was his backup?

For his part, Ratchet had to make a split-second decision, pull the trigger now whilst confusion reigned, or take the cop with him and do him later? When Williams asked him who he was he was thrown so completely that it was like the choice had been made for him. Sensing the curly-haired pig was about to make a move he cocked the hammer on the gun and waved it, "Uh-uh pig get in here, hands up. _DO IT NOW OR I START SHOOTING!!"_

Danny Williams had no choice.

Kimo wasn't far behind the action but because of the panic a fraction too late as Dan Williams stepped into the elevator, hands raised. Ratchet kicked back the tool box, hit a button and as the doors slid closed Kimo had the sad duty of witnessing his fellow officer cold-cocked. Danny yelped with pain and dropped like a stone. The Hawaiian cop couldn't stop it from happening, he tried pressing the buttons to recall the elevator but time was not on his side - today of all days! He slapped both hands on the doors in frustration and watched as the buttons lit up, his suspect going down to the basement with his victim. He rushed to find the stairwell and, gun ready, leaped down them two at a time hoping to catch the kidnapper before he got away.

As he reached the basement parking level he tried opening the door only to find it wedged somehow. It was a temporary delaying tactic and a few good shoves pushed a fire extinguisher out of the way but those seconds cost him dearly. As he managed to open the door he saw the tail end of a white van pulling out of the garage, heard the splintering sound of a barrier being torn apart and watched as the vehicle disappeared into the Honolulu sunshine and with it officer Danny Williams.

How was he supposed to tell _that_ to McGarrett?

******


	22. Force of Nature

Chapter 22: Force of Nature

Loss is a terrible thing, varying with each event; it could be modest or tragic, enormous or infinitesimal, but regardless of size or importance there is one thing that each and every incidence does and that is to cause disruption. Loss of power interrupts the baking of a cake or perhaps a television program half-watched, jewelry means a house turned upside-down, a beloved pet leads to tears for a child, hair - a sense of self-worth. Being deprived of one's memory cannot be measured in mere words; it being too intensely personal and life changing. These are all in their way poignant, but the greatest loss has to be that of someone you care about.

A colleague overdue turns up cold, ruined and near death in a field, his lost mind somewhere irretrievable as he fights for his life. Gone is the friendship forged over time, the moments shared, the laughter, love and support - all taken from you with the violation of his body and the stripping of his mind. It is one day in a lifetime of days but it shakes you so powerfully that it rips your heart to shreds.

To lose someone once is hard enough, but to have that person plucked from you a second time is wretched beyond belief.

Steve McGarrett felt wretched today, as he stood amid chaos in the hospital corridor he thought of Danny Williams and what he might be suffering. Fear gripped his chest.

Queens had its fair share of losses; that was what medical institutions catered for, but kidnapping was something they had never experienced prior to today and the disruption was on a grand scale that caused complaint after complaint from the staff. McGarrett couldn't help them, he listened, was polite, politic, angry or determined – whichever the moment called for but still he did what he wanted. It was imperative that they find clues to Williams whereabouts and he would brook no interruption from any other source of authority. Steve was pretty sure he knew who had taken him. Although there were any number of enemies his Second had gathered over the years, he firmly believe that the Kaika brothers were behind the latest atrocity committed on his partner and friend.

Danny was in no condition to be away from care, his physical health was improving gradually but his mind was so fragile – he was far from healed and Steve was tormented by a vast array of scenarios that could, even now, be playing out somewhere on the shores of Oahu. He couldn't – _wouldn't_ stop to breathe if it saved time in the search for his friend - for Danno.

The HPD officer protecting Williams was mortified that he hadn't been able to help his respected colleague. Kimo paced up and down the same stretch of flooring, cap in hand as he thought over what had happened barely half an hour before. It was clear that he should have been closer to the party he was shadowing and for that he would find it hard to forgive himself – if McGarrett ever did. The Chief of Five-0 was a hard man, even harder when his officers were involved but it didn't take a brilliant mind to see that he was hurting. Everyone knew that Dan Williams had been shot and as a consequence suffered amnesia – Kimo himself had been in the search party when they found the poor detective, bloody and dying on that wet night not long ago, and because of that he felt an obligation to protect his fellow cop.

"And you didn't see the man's face?" McGarrett asked again, anger finally abating after his initial explosion.

Kimo shook his head, "No, all I can say is I think he was Hawaiian - his cap was too low to see anything else but the color of his skin."

"How did Williams look to you? Did he go willingly?"

"I guess so,"

"What is _that_ supposed to mean, Officer?"

"Sorry sir, I mean I didn't get there in time to see or hear exactly what happened, I just heard him yell out and saw him hit the floor of the elevator as the doors shut. The guy had a gun, I doubt whether Danny had a choice."

"But no gunshot?"

"No, I can say that with certainty."

"That's a relief at least. Okay Kimo. I don't need to tell you how serious this is but from what I've heard there wasn't a great deal you could do about it. If you remember anything, anything at all, you contact me right away, understand?"

"I will sir." Kimo crept away, feeling like the weight of the world was on his shoulders.

It was now a question of mobilizing the same forces McGarrett had before; every available man on the hunt for his officer - again. This was different; this time they knew who they were searching for, or so he believed. But, Steve reminded himself, the Kaika brothers had carefully avoided their net since the APB had been posted, why would now be any different? He had to believe that there was some clue, either from the witnesses or SOC evidence that would give them their break.

McGarrett stepped into the elevator, held open on their floor so the lab crew could work their magic on it. It was the discarded tool box that interested him, he bent down and carefully examined it ensuring he didn't spoil any fingerprint evidence. Standard gray metal box - nothing special there – an assortment of tools which, if anyone bothered to check, had precious little to do with telephone repairs and everything to do with the trade the gang plied – car theft. He turned over some of the objects that had spilled onto the floor and, finding nothing of value, lifted the top tier up on its hinges. Underneath was another jumble of half-rusting greasy spanners and socket wrenches but hidden amongst them was a box of bullets and that McGarrett found extremely interesting . Using his handkerchief, he lifted the box out and inspected it; .9mm for use with an automatic. At least he now knew how the man was armed.

"Why didn't he just shoot you Danno?" Steve said to himself.

"Sorry boss what was that?" Chin Ho asked as he stepped into the chaotic scene and heard McGarrett's question.

Still crouching, Steve held the box up for Kelly to see, "Tell me Chin, if you have a witness you want to execute and the method and perfect opportunity to dispose of them, why do you hesitate and kidnap that person instead? It doesn't make sense."

Chin took the cotton-cradled bullets from McGarrett and shrugged, "I dunno, maybe he lost his nerve. Maybe he thought Danny was valuable in some way?"

"Or maybe they want to get rid of him somewhere quieter, perhaps the scene was too hot. He must have thought all his Christmas's had come at once when that elevator door opened and Danno was just standing there!"

"Kimo says you think it's the Kaika brothers, if that's the case he's got big trouble."

"Don't you think I _know_ that Chin? Every second we stand here he's in danger, if it's not already too late!" Steve said angrily and bit back what was he was really thinking.

"Hey cool it boss, we'll find him."

"Yeah? I seem to remember we thought that the _last_ time but it took a tip-off to lead us to him and Danno nearly died! What makes you think this time they won't make it a head shot, ensure that they finish him off properly and bury him where none of us can find him or, God forbid, they assault him again _before_ they murder him? How can I stop that!? And how, in Heaven's name, will I _ever_ forgive myself if they do? He ought to have had more protection, _dammit_!"

Chin couldn't answer him - any more than he knew how he would forgive _himself_ if their friend died. Turning the box nervously in his hands he noticed a number in small handwriting on the back. "Here's something," he said peering at it hopefully before passing it back to McGarrett, "a telephone number - looks familiar."

McGarrett stood up, running the string of digits through his head and coming up with their owner; he recognized them immediately from years of sailing, "It should, someone was careless, it's the marine operator for Honolulu! This could be our break!"

Without preamble, Steve ran down the corridor to the nurses station, shoes echoing hollowly in the empty space and asked to use the telephone. With a grateful nod to the nurse who handed it to him, he dialed the number he knew well.

A precision voice answered, "Marine operator, what vessel are you calling?"

"This is Steve McGarrett, Hawaii Five-0, I'd like you to tell me what calls you have connected in the last forty-eight hours."

"Sir, that could take some time, I don't have the records in front of me and I would need to get the supervisor to do it."

"But you _can_ get it can't you?"

"Well, yes but..,"

"No `buts', I want that information _now_, police business; it's a matter of the utmost urgency."

"Very well mister McGarrett, I will ask our supervisor, how may we reach you?"

"I'm at the fourth floor nurses station, Queens Hospital - and hurry!"

As the phone went dead, Steve stared briefly at the receiver before replacing it, "I'm expecting a call from the marine services operator, if it comes through and I'm not here can someone page me?"

"Will do Mr McGarrett." The nurse said obligingly.

"Steve!" A voice came from behind him.

"Yeah Chin?" he asked and went to see what he had in his hands.

"Found this in the bottom of the toolbox, looks liked dried blood."

McGarrett felt sick as he stared at a large monkey wrench - lodged in the grooves were a few strands of sandy hair, "I think we know who these belong to. Get Che to check it against Danno's blood type, just in case I'm wrong."

"Sure. Any luck with that number?"

"No, I'm waiting for a call but in the meantime I think we ought to prime the coastguard and HPD in case they are planning on taking him off shore. Maybe that's why we haven't figured out where they are yet, eh Chin? Maybe they've been on a boat!"

A short distance away a phone began to ring.

"Mister McGarrett!?" the nurse called out, "I have that call for you." As he raced back she offered him the phone and he took it gratefully.

"McGarrett here, have you got that list for me?" He put his hand over the receiver, "Nurse do you have a pen and paper? Thank you. Sorry, I'm here, yes go ahead."

It seemed that only eight numbers were called from shore to ship - he just prayed Danny would be on one of them.

******

Getting a body onto a boat wasn't an easy task in broad daylight, not with hordes of eager fishermen ready to stare at a stranger's every move. Getting a man dressed in pajamas, with a cast on his arm on board would be even harder.

As Ratchet sat in the van watching the busy Honolulu waterfront, he was getting the jitters. The stench of guts and rotting fish scales pervaded his nostrils and the noise from the nearby Tuna packing plant with its dive bombing and screeching sea bird accompaniment was grating on his nerves. It was too early for his brother's boat to appear and he risked his victim regaining consciousness or someone waving his vehicle on. He was parked too close to the inlet for it to be legal and didn't want a curious cop trying to move him out of the area. If he shifted farther away there would be no way he could get Williams where he wanted him without arousing a great deal of suspicion. He had arranged to meet Mano at the local restaurant on the boulevard but that was before his impulsive change of plans. Now he had to greet the boat as it docked and he didn't like his chances of not being spotted.

So far Williams was out like a light but he dare not risk the man shouting for help when he regained consciousness. He had painted himself into a corner and needed breathing space to think. He checked his watch, two twenty-three pm, time enough for something to go badly wrong. Ratchet lifted his cap and scraped a hand through thick black hair before replacing it, then hit the steering wheel with a thump, jolting his body in the process. Everything was such a god-damned mess – he couldn't think straight and it was all the cop's fault.

He resisted the urge to turn around and kick the inert body on the floor behind him. Seeing the object of his hatred lying there helpless was making him twitch. He needed a smoke to calm his nerves. Ratchet fumbled with finger and thumb in his shirt pocket and brought out a small packet of papers he used to roll his own. Taking a tin of tobacco off the dashboard, he set about making the nicotine-packed cigarette - wishing it was a joint instead. As he licked across the rollie to secure it, he glanced up at the water and saw a welcome sight. Their battered thirty-foot cruising sailboat was just coasting in to dock, Mano guiding the creaking boat gently to dry land. Ratchet could have cried with relief, his nerves were so frayed he was sweating and couldn't even hold the Bugler without making it stick to his fingertips.

He lit up, chucked the fizzling match out onto the pavement, inhaled deeply and waited until the vessel came to a stop.

As some salt-encrusted soul helped his brother tie up Ratchet knew now was the time to face his brother's fury. The older man would be very angry with him but he had to put up with that; just until they escaped with Williams. Once out at sea they would kill the cop, use his body as shark bait and leave for one of the other islands – free to return when the heat died down. Then he could come back to his beloved Honolulu. Maybe they'd even catch something big with the pig's corpse as a bonus.

Checking his prisoner again, Kaika wound up the window, awkwardly peeled off his coveralls and left the van. He strode across the wharf to meet his only living relative, aware that he was risking a Mauna Ulu sized event.

******

Mano Kaika didn't hold out much hope that his brother would be there. The call he'd received that morning suggested he was becoming dangerously unraveled in his quest to restore the balance of their world. It was far too late for that. Even WITH the death of McGarrett's sidekick there would be few places they could show their faces on the islands. They even had ohana koko – family blood – on their hands. The forces of nature would ensure that the bill was paid somehow and Mano was sure more would be spilled before the spirits would rest. As he threw the line to a fisherman looking to help, he shook his head, trying to push the depressing thoughts away – the day was picture perfect but he was sure a storm front lay beyond the horizon, he could feel his skin prickling.

He knew the gait of the man ambling towards him, head bent, smoking, with hands stuffed in his jean pockets. His brother was hunched over and by trying to make himself blend in was merely drawing attention to himself. Somewhere in the distance Mano was sure he heard the ominous roll of thunder.

As the two met at the dockside, Mano leaned over the railings and his brother turned his face up to the sun, hair sticking out at odd angles beneath the baseball cap. There it was, written over his kaina's features – something had gone wrong.

"Before you say anything, I need your help!" Ratchet said just as Mano was about to open his mouth to reprove him.

"I **knew** it!"

"Shut up. Hear me out before you get shirty bruddah. Either come down here or I'm coming up."

"You bring me more trouble Ray and I'll crack you over da head so fast…,"

"Hey, listen will ya. Get down here, I have something I need to show you." Ratchet noted his brother's use of his birth name. `_Definitely angry'_ he thought.

"Auwe! I knew it, _I knew it_!" Mano said again and swung himself down the rope ladder to the dockside.

Once down he stood feet apart, muscular arms folded his across his chest. Mano was not happy.

Ratchet inched up close to him and checked no one was around, "Okay first brah you have to promise me to listen and not erupt."

"Sure Ratchet - cos I know it's going to be something I _WANT_ to hear, right!?"

"For fuck's sake gimme a chance. I have da cop." He stated bluntly and nodded his head in the direction of the white van.

Mano shifted on his feet, contemplating what to do, then he simply turned and climbed back up, making preparations to set sail and leave his brother behind.

Ratchet ran to the ladder and followed him up. "Hey hey wait a minute!"

Mano carried on, ignoring him.

"Wait Mano! I need to explain!"

This time the big man turned, "I told you once, I'm telling you again, you bring trouble on me and I'll kill you. One more drop of blood ain't gonna make a whole heap of difference now."

"Listen, listen…I do have da cop but he didn't recognize me at da hospital!" Ray swiped a hand across his mouth, "I was gonna do it Mano, I was gonna top him there and then but he just stared at me and said he didn't know me! I panicked..I admit it…I didn't know what to do so da first thing that came to mind was grab him. He's in da van. I figure if we can get him on board we're outta here, take him out on da ocean and dump his body. It's **easy**!"

Mano gave two swift slaps to either cheek on his brother's face. Ratchet was completely shocked then hurt, the blows were intended to humiliate not damage and his cheeks reddened. "You pupule asshole." The older man began, "You didn't _think_! Once more your brain was on holiday eh brah? Well why should I pick up da pieces of your stink. Shit for brains. You think they're not gonna be looking for Williams? You think they'll let us get five miles into open water before they catch us?" Another slap, "Did you? Eh?"

"Stop it!"

"Yeah I'll stop it… now get off my boat!"

Ratchet saw that he was in danger of being cast adrift; he needed to make Mano see it was their only option. "You're implicated in this just as much as I am remember – _BRUDDAH_? If you don't help me with da pig they'll catch me for sure and what makes you think I wouldn't rat on you if you don't take me along? You have to! We're blood - ohana!" His big speech was spoiled by the high-pitched pleading tone. So far Mano wasn't impressed but he was only too aware that in their family dogs ate dogs and the one yapping at his heels right now could just as easily bite.

"So just how da hell are we supposed to get him on board without someone seeing us?"

Ray saw a chink in Mano's resolve; if he could just convince him to go along with his plan he just knew they would be fine.

"I'll back da van up here and maybe we can wrap him in some tarp! Yeah, that way they'll figure I'm delivering a sail or something."

"Just what are you going to do with da van?"

"Stolen – I'll leave it behind da restaurant, with any luck it will take da cops a while to figure it out.

"And in da meantime we sail away into da sunset with our tasty piglet trussed for a luau eh? Well mahalo nui loa – _for nothing_! I still think you're out of your mind and you're dragging me down with you…but…,"

"_But_?" Ratchet encouraged, hope rising in his voice.

"I'll do it, but we'd better act wiki-wiki I want to get out of here before the storm comes."

Ratchet looked over his brother's shoulder to the horizon beyond, it was clear, beautiful and just enough breeze to sail by, "Ain't no storm bruddah, the day is sweet!"

"Trust me Ratch, there are forces at work here and we gonna be right in da eye if we're not careful!"

******

Blank spaces where his mind should be, crystalline darkness instead of light. Danny awoke like many other mornings, thinking he was in hospital. The pain was there like a brother; something he recognized and grew accustomed to. There were times when the drugs kicked in, then the familiar heat of agony receded to be replaced by the sense of dislocation from everything, that haze was his sister – she walked by his side too – whispering in his ear that he wasn't alone but somehow – like a bed without sheets or a car without wheels – he needed more to complete him than oblivion.

For now both sibling feelings were present, taking tea in his head as he struggled to remove the leaden weights from his eyes. Such small pieces of flesh to cause so much difficulty, nevertheless the task wasn't easy and it took more than a few attempts before his eyes finally opened. It was too bright.

Screwing his forehead up in unconscious acknowledgment of the drumming beat inside his skull, he closed his eyes again briefly – just to ensure he had control of his functions. Flashing tributaries and the sun's aura flickered behind the lids with photographic clarity and he suddenly felt a stabbing pain in his temple as the brilliant sunshine touched his raw nerves. Only then did he recall being hit, and it slowly dawned on him that he wasn't in the ward at all but someplace different, and he was in danger.

Williams tried to sit up, bolt upright was his intention but he could get no further than raising his head six inches off the ground. There was a boot on his chest, pressing down onto his sternum with deliberate, bruising force. Crouching over him and silhouetted by the sun, was the shadow of a man. Dan thought it had to be the same one who had recognized him from the elevator and threatened him with a gun; the man who had given him the headache he now suffered from. If pain and dislocation were his siblings, then terror and trepidation had suddenly become his mother and father. For some reason, unbeknown to Danny, he was terrified. If all that McGarrett had said about him was true then the feeling was alien to him. Why then was he so heart-pumpingly, adrenaline-flowingly _scared_?

As the light gradually softened and his eyes became accustomed to the startling day, Dan studied the Hawaiian, trying to read the mixture of emotions battling in the young man's stubbled face from above. If he read it correctly it was somewhere between hatred, humor and…lust!

Another man moved from behind the shadow and a larger, more ominous shape separated itself to become a person. "Welcome back **pig**!"

Williams looked genuinely confused for a moment.

"Don't you recognize us? You should _pretty_ boy, we know you inside and out, _particularly_ inside." The other said, poking his tongue out and rolling it around his lips before gripping his crotch in a meaningful way. Then, horrifyingly he began saying things that proved it true.

As cruel, hard laughter and grotesquely graphic words echoed in Danny's ears one, by excruciating one, the tumblers of the self-imposed lock on his memory began to pull back; his mind like a rotating cylinder, levers turning as the pins pulled back and gave him access to the inexhaustible dam burst of poisonous information he had tried so hard to eradicate. It physically attacked him like piranhas stripping a leg of mutton, shaking him to the bone.

The resultant flood split the wall of protection he had unconsciously built and as the mortar crumbled, those words were all it took for the terror to manifest itself with volcanic force.

Rolling over in his rope bonds and crushing his plaster cast to his chest, Danny convulsed with shivers as he curled into a fetal position, straining the healing wound in his stomach. _**Now he knew, now he knew, oh GOD now HE KNEW!**_ He had heard the voices **before**….atop him as these men had abused him! They were the source of his humiliating remembrances and cold-sweat nightmares. These men had taken him against his will, forcing him to experience something that was so abhorrent and petrifying he had closed his mind to it. To save himself he had wiped away the memory of that day and now, like a projector film played too fast it started rewinding to the first moment his missing day began; breakfast on the sidewalk, the radio playing, the squeal of tires, running to his car, then the images started pouring themselves through his mind, faster and faster with no let up; young man – Mustang – garage – surrounded – concern turns to worry turns to terror, the feeling of utter helplessness, excruciating pain; defiled, filthy – _unclean_. The agony and despair leading to nothing until he awoke in the hospital, unaware of who he was or what had gone before.

These men had attacked him and tried to kill him and now Danny knew why McGarrett and the others had been tip-toeing around him, he knew why they hadn't touched on the subject of his shooting. The dislocation and fog was clearing like bleach on an oil patch; pushing the thick cloying nothing to one side to reveal translucent and barbaric memories.

The nightmares had all been _**real**_ and here in front of him, like monsters from the deepest recesses of a child's imagination, were two of his rapists and once again he was trapped.

This morning he had been safe with Steve; a man he now remembered with all the associated pain, respect, love and friendship, but now the Stygian pit had opened once more and he was about to become its victim for a second time and McGarrett would never know that his memories had returned or how sorry he was for all that had happened - because he would be dead.

"Ready to have da ride of your life Detective Williams!?"

*******


	23. Payback's A Bitch

AUTHOR'S NOTE:

First of all thank you again for reading and for your kind reviews, I appreciate you taking the time to do so and I'm glad you are enjoying the story I know it's a tough subject - mahalo!

Secondly this chapter comes with a WARNING – there are a couple of pages of sexual abuse – not overly descriptive but you might want to bear that in mind when reading. It was necessary to show Danny that he can survive without losing his mind. Don't worry, things will get better from here on in (well...sort of!) ;)

MM

CHAPTER 23: Payback's a Bitch

His face set in a stone-like mask, McGarrett finished checking his weapon and re-holstered it, wedging the gun firmly into the leather under his shoulder. He grabbed his jacket and stormed out of the office like a tidal wave, gathering detectives in his wake.

"Steve we've checked; three of those vessels are still moored in Honolulu, HPD says no one on board two of them and the other one was clear - no sign of the Kaika brothers or Danny. We're keeping a watch on them just in case. There's a cruise liner which left for the mainland about nine o'clock this morning, another is a private yacht registered to some big movie star so I reckon that one unlikely. We've still got three unaccounted for. They're out on the water somewhere." Kono finished his report with a heavy sigh and a curled lip. "Ain't gonna be easy boss – small needle in a pretty big haystack!"

"I know Kono and we don't even know if we have the right stack." McGarrett said morosely as he, Kono and Chin rushed down the old staircase of the Palace to their waiting cars.

*******

Chin and Duke Lukela went with Lieutenant Rice and Harbor Patrol, McGarrett and Kono boarded a Coastguard vessel. Each began searching a grid pattern, plotted to make allowances for the time since Williams' kidnapping and the top speed of each of the missing boats. Although it was possible the Kaika's had sailed around the coastline, Steve thought it more likely they had headed out to the open ocean and one of the islands - away from prying eyes – if indeed they were on a boat! With limited manpower they had to concentrate on the most likely scenario but he didn't find it easy, Danno's life was all riding on a hunch.

_Nani Wahine_, a clipper, was registered out of the Big Island, the other two; _Aloha Malu_ and the _Lazy Dolphin_ were sailboats from Honolulu. So far not one of the remaining three had answered hails. They checked the owner's names against the registry and came up blank, none were owned by Ray or Mano Kaika but that didn't mean anything, there could be any number of reasons for it, many of them illegal.

With time biting at their heels all McGarrett could do was pray his theory was correct. If not, he would lose one of the finest detectives on the force and an irreplaceable friend - if it wasn't already too late.

Steve stood on the fore deck, legs braced and strands of dark hair whipping against his face with stinging force as the cutter negotiated the choppy waters. The rising wind kicked the ocean into a frothing mass of miniature turquoise Hokusai-like waves and it made for a bumpy ride as they sped across the surface plowing plumes before the keel. On the horizon shades of gray, like narrows in a canyon, paralleled the light blue; it was the beginning of a storm somewhere in the far distance. As he saw a yellow flash of lightning temporarily illuminate the dark clouds, the Five-0 chief's thoughts turned to his friend, alone somewhere with two twisted individuals who would think nothing of using him for their own vile ends. His heart constricted as he thought of what Danno might be enduring and he made a silent promise to him – that no matter the consequences, the Kaika brothers would pay for what they had done, even if it meant risking his own liberty to keep that promise. If Williams was already dead, then McGarrett wasn't sure he could go on running the unit that Dan was so much a part of. There was only one way this could end.

"_Stay strong, I'm coming to find you Danno."_ He whispered to the wind.

********

Unaware that his friend was on the same stretch of water, Williams was reeling from an overload of ill-treatment. After gagging him, they dragged him painfully down the companionway by his arms and the roots of his hair and through the small galley to the largest cabin aft. He was too shocked from the realization of what had happened to him to put up much of a struggle but still he tried and was rewarded with a punch to his gut right over his healing wound that knocked the breath out of him and made him howl with pain behind the filthy gag. Mano flung him against the hull like a rag doll and he crumpled onto the thin mattress, dressing gown twisted around him, checkered sheets musty beneath his back and heart aching for all of it to end.

"Right, we'd better make headway, get him secured." Mano ordered, then to Danny he added, "You can yell all you like soon cop, no one will hear you on da water!"

Laughing, he left Williams to the tender mercies of his brother, aware that Ratchet would make full use of his power over the man - as he intended to.

Ratchet grabbed a piece of hemp rope from the top of a shelf and looped it through the one tying Danny's wrists together then inserted the end through a brass hammock ring in the low ceiling above the bunk. Like a sail he hoisted Dan up just enough that his arms were stretched and tied the knot tightly. "You hear that piggy? Won't be long and you can vent all that anger in safety, and trust me, one way or another you _will_ scream."

Victim secured, Kaika sat down on the wooden edge of the bunk, rocking precariously with the boat's yaw and pitch and studied his prisoner; wild eyed, vulnerable, pulse beating rapidly in the side of his neck - more like an angry fawn before a hunter than a man before a man. Here was their second chance to complete the work they started, in Ratchet's mind he would avenge their friend in prison and the enforced death of their cousin by getting back at the one person he considered responsible. At the same time he was screwing with Five-0 and the seemingly invulnerable McGarrett; their chance to write history on the islands by beating the high and mighty lap dogs of the law – or so he thought.

Getting excited at that image and the memory of what had taken place the last time he was face to face with Williams, his eyes turned black with lust and he ran a finger down the buttons on Danny's pajama top. When he reached the waistband of the hospital pants he slipped a hand inside the cotton and made sure his victim understood what was about to happen. Williams flinched and tried to pull away, legs kicking violently; revolted at the intimacy of the touch. "So here's how it's gonna be," He said leering and fondling at the same time, "I get to spend a little time with you before I go back up top and you – _you_ get a reminder of who owns you!"

The Hawaiian took his hand away, much to Dan's relief, and getting off the bed reached for a boat hook he had spied. Dan pulled in vain against his bonds and as he did so, the plaster cast moved fractionally over the recently re-set bones of his wrist making his eyes water and distorting his already foggy vision. He thought he would cry and never stop.

Hook in hand, Kaika leaned over the bunk and held the curved implement against Danny's throat and as the young man struggled even harder with fright, pressed a hand down firmly on his forehead and pulled the sharp end carefully across him in a cut-throat motion. As Dan yelled against the dirty gag, choking and spluttering, Ratchet scratched an uneven line on his skin, then watched in fascination as small bubbles of red burst forth, cresting over the ripped skin and giving him a ruby necklace without actually cutting his throat.

Smiling at his handiwork, he then snagged the bloodied hook in the top of the pajamas and ripped straight down, buttons popping as the material was shredded. This time he didn't take as much care and was gratified to see the detective's face screw up with renewed pain. "You made me kill Koa, and now I want something from you." He stated menacingly.

'_Oh please NO - not again, this can't be happening!_' Dan thought as an agonizing ridge was gouged jaggedly down his chest. He bounced against the bunk as the hook stung his tender flesh and shook his head repeatedly against the mattress, trying to control the desperate feelings welling up inside him. _Am I so bad I need to be punished? Did I really _**make**_ him kill that man? Why did I force Steve to walk out? Will I lose my mind again? Why didn't I just leave the Mustang? Why me? WHY ME? Why didn't they shoot me properly? Why can't I just die? Why can't THEY just die!? _Questions, questions, questions, but no answers. He couldn't think straight, all he knew was he was about to be forced into sex against his will again and there wasn't a goddamned thing he could do about it. He couldn't fight any more than he was doing; his body was so weak from everything he had suffered that his mind was yelling at him to give up permanently this time – but he would never do that, _could_ never do that - not now. He had to find a way out, even if ultimately it meant someone ended up dead. He just hoped it wouldn't be him.

Oblivious to the thoughts and feelings of his prey and the increasingly aroused feelings of his own body, Ratchet continued, "You got Lupe arrested." This time he placed the hook on the floor and undid the draw strings on Dan's blue pajama pants. With the swiftness of a conjuror, he slipped them down Danny's legs and pulled them off his bare feet, slippers lost somewhere between the hospital and the van. Now the detective was virtually nude, the dressings on his healing gunshot wound and torn clothing his only covering. His legs began trembling, as though he had lost control of his nerves and he tried to fold himself on his side but firm hands pushed him flat against the bed, making damned sure he was aware how vulnerable he was.

Ratchet hissed sardonically, "I guess I should thank you eh? If it wasn't for you _pig_ I'd be doing da same old thing, breaking down cars and selling them for a living. My friends would be around me, Koa would share his spliff, Lupe a beer and I'd be living da high life…if it wasn't for _you_ I'd be shagging a wahine about now and getting my rocks off!" He added angrily and pressed his heavy body down on top of Danny's then draped the discarded pants onto his prisoner's face. "You won't be needing these, cos I reckon it's payback time don't you _**pretty boy**_?" He said and ground himself lewdly against Williams' nakedness.

Dan could feel the man's arousal against his groin and knew it would be impossible to stop the assault, he _had_ to be strong, had to keep his mind from shattering, there was no one else to help him – he had to help himself. With all the accompanying terror the moment held, he nevertheless felt a change gradually come over him - a strength he wasn't aware he had rose from the pit of his stomach, pushing up through his chest and wrapped itself like an invisible plate of steel around his heart and steadied his nerves more effectively than a short of bourbon. He had shut himself away once before and it had cost him too much; memories and friends he held dear had been stripped away from him, but this time had to be different. This time if the man wanted to rape him he would do it without having the satisfaction of seeing him quake. He knew what to expect now, and he kidded himself it wasn't so bad, if he could just hold onto his sanity he could survive. The shock of what had transpired was wearing off; after all he had the protection of his memories back and McGarrett told him he was a good cop and that gave him all the strength he needed; his friend's belief in him. Steve knew he had been taken and the fires of hope began to rekindle inside him. Flame, steel and the belief of a trusted friend would keep him sane - staying alive was another matter.

The cotton was lifted from his eyes, literally and figuratively and he found himself face to face with an angry Hawaiian looking for revenge. There was frustration in the dark eyes and a burning desire that he hoped never to see again. A hand slipped down their bodies and fumbled between his legs; he kicked out and, despite his resolve to be strong, he hit the wooden foot board. "You want to know what we're gonna do with you cop?" Ratchet said and leaned in to whisper disgustingly in his ear whilst Dan struggled against the grip on his manhood and blocked out the words. "First we're gonna screw you like a woman, then we're gonna kill you and dump you for da fishies." He pulled the gag down and ran a fingertip across Danny's reddened lips, "I had your mouth now I want your ass; you owe me."

With all the venom he could muster, Danny spat in his face, imaging the spittle to be acid and growled, "I owe you nothing. Quit talking and get it over with you impotent _bastard_!"

"It speaks!" Kaika smirked and rolled off the bed, wiping the offensive muck from his cheek and ignoring the insult. "Well aren't you a surprise. I'm gonna enjoy this." He pulled down the zipper on his jeans and reached inside, rubbing himself then discarded the clothing on his lower half and concentrated on the body before him. Dan ignored him in favor of staring at the ceiling, shifting his arms in their sockets whilst checking out the ropes and the ring they were hanging from. He was trying to think of a way to get free and then…then he would do _whatever_ it took to get the animals out of his mind and away from his body.

"Let's see if you co-operate. You're so damned keen for me to service you - get your knees up piggy."

Danny did nothing but sneer and for his insolence found the tip of the boat hook an inch from his right eye. "You wanna rethink that Williams?" Ratchet said and moved closer to prove he meant business, "You don't need eyes for me to fuck you so what's it to be?"

Feeling humiliation beyond belief and a glimmer of his former terror knocking at mind, Dan raised his knees, pressing his feet flat against the bed and screwed his eyes tight shut. _'I can do this… I have to do this…It will be over soon…I can do this…I can do this...whatever it takes…'_ He was hoping once it was over he would be left alone for a while to figure out a way to escape.

Ray Kaika appraised the view before him, what he was about to do hardly made up for the stress Williams had put him through but at least he was getting something out of it, he stroked him almost tenderly, "Nice ass, if you were a pretty wahine instead of a cop I might keep you!"

The roll of the ship pitched Danny's body from side to side and raised goose flesh on him with every stroke of the rough, alien hands on him. It hurt like hell to move at all; the bruises from the car accident making it hard to keep his legs in one position. He dropped his knees back down and felt a stinging pain down his left leg as punishment. "Stay _still_ while I touch you – you ain't going nowhere until _I say so_!" The knees came up again, Dan felt sickened, the fingers were probing now and he struggled ineffectually against them. He prayed for it to end soon.

Blood was running down his calf, just a trickle but a clear warning nevertheless. If only he could reach the boat hook…

Then came the test of his new found resolve. Ratchet, looking for all the world like a crouching demon, climbed onto the bed arching under the low wooden ceiling. "Say hello to Ratch!" The creature laughed and, positioning himself between Williams' legs, pushed forward. Danny bit down on his tongue, the visions of his attack blasting back with full force as the man shoved into him hard, testing the newly healed flesh inside to near breaking point. He wanted to vomit and scream but most of all he wanted to break free. The pain was agonizing as Ratchet began to move inside him. _'It will be over soon…I can do this… I have to do this… …I can do this…I can do this...whatever it takes…_

Danny's right foot hit the wooden hull, banging it loudly and violently each time Ratchet pounded. The Hawaiian leaned earnestly over Williams chest, hands either side of his rib cage and face so close that Dan could feel the warmth of his breath and droplets of sweat as they touched his skin. "Oh yeah…that's good…Five…0..!" He was staring down into Dan's eyes and try as hard as he might the violated man could not avert the menacing gaze. Hate was a terrible thing in one as young as Ray Kaika but blind hatred had caused him to turn feral and soon he would add a second murder to his score sheet. If Danny didn't get him first.

Mano heard banging coming from below and, putting the auto pilot on, slipped down to see what was going on. As he got within sight of the cabin door he was amused, but not surprised, to see his brother's backside grinding up and down over the young cop with eager abandon. Thinking he might have a go himself later he returned topside with a grin on his face and a twinge in his pants.

Below deck, Williams' arms were being pulled mercilessly and his damaged wrist was barely able to cope with the strain. He didn't say a word, just lay there quietly trying to focus on a way to stay living - on McGarrett coming to find him, on the fact that this _**didn't**_ make him any less of a man. When Kaika lifted his bent legs in the air and strained his back he could cope, even if warring feelings suddenly shuddered through him as Ratchet touched something inside and an involuntary electric thrill raced up and down his body. This time he bit the inside of his cheek until it bled and warm liquid iron ran down the back of his throat. He thought if he could bring the man off quickly and be done with it, then maybe he would be left alone to plan his escape, he needed this to be over before he lost his mind again; even steel could melt if the heat was intense enough and Dan was about to reach 2777 degrees Fahrenheit if he didn't take action to save himself.

So he did the only thing he could think of and to not only Danny's but the rapist's immense surprise, Williams' strong legs suddenly gripped the man around the waist and, contracting his muscles tightly, he deliberately slid himself further onto the rampant flesh.

Rachet groaned with pleasure as he was pulled further into the perspiring body. "_Oh_ keep going…keep going…almost there, yes!!" Kaika tried to control the situation but Dan held onto him tightly, heels digging in, determined to finish the man off. One last violent stab and the Hawaiian was through the barrier, grabbing Danny's hips; nails gripping him painfully as he held the young man still whilst he concluded his hurried assault.

Finally Ray Kaika was finished; spent and sweaty from his exertions. With a grin, a lascivious wink and lick of his lips he complimented his unwilling partner, "Oh yeah…man you're hot!"

Beneath him, ashamed and disgusted with himself, Danny Williams turned his head to the wall and wept a single tear.

******

On board the Island class patrol boat a call came in to the radio operator from Chin Ho. Harbor patrol had spotted The Lazy Dolphin and they were about to board her. Tortuous minutes ticked by as McGarrett, white hands clasped on the silent radio receiver, waited for the news that they had found Danno. He allowed himself not one shred of emotion to leak through the impenetrable mask he called his face. Men turned to him as the mic crackled with static and finally the monotone voice of the Chinese detective came back, _"Negative Steve, Danny's not on board." _

You could hear a pin drop.

"Say that again." McGarrett ordered, knowing he had heard correctly the first time but somehow hoping his hearing was defective.

"_I'm sorry boss, that's a _no_. No sign of Danny or the Kaikas – just four young people out of their heads on grass and some very loud music."_

In front of him the Coast Guard officers averted their gaze, the raw emotion on the Five-0 chief's visage now that the search had proved fruitless was enough to tell them the depth of his disappointment. Kono put a hand on his boss' shoulder, "We'll keep looking bruddah. Two more to go."

There was a moment's silence, as if everyone on board were acknowledging the loss of a fellow crew member before Steve, with a voice that spoke nothing of his bitter anguish, replied, "Okay Chin, call us if you get any other visuals on those ships. Out." He replaced the receiver on its hook and walked straight out of the bridge into the freshening afternoon air, ignoring every other living being in the room with as much dignity as he could muster.

Climbing down the ladder, heels echoing on the metal as he trod, he managed to find a way to pace virtually the length of the hundred and ten foot long main deck without breaking stride. His only concession to safety as the boat sped at a rate of knots through the churning deep, was to grasp the hand holds as he negotiated his way fore to aft and back again, body lurching from side to side with the pitch of the vessel. There was no way to tell what he was thinking, the locked and rigid vertebrae of his spine giving nothing away.

Kono watched him from outside the bridge and wondered what the lonely man beneath him would be like if this time Williams didn't come home. They had survived many scrapes together and the Hawaiian had seen how every time the second-in-command was injured it chiselled away at his boss' resolve, the mantle of responsibility weighing heavier than a cloak of steel chains. As much as he loved his kaikaina, McGarrett did more and this whole thing was breaking Steve's heart without so much as a public twitch of his cheek. Kono wondered if this would be the way of things in the future – no Danno, no Steve – his friend dead and his boss dead inside.

With a heavy sigh, Kalakua scanned the horizon with his binoculars, much the way McGarrett was doing now on the windward side. A constant atomizer of ocean water sprayed his face and he tasted the brine as he licked his lips, hair sticky with the dried salt. He was sure his silk tie was ruined, but he would give a thousand such frivolous accessories for just a glimpse of one of the boats they were seeking. In his heart he prayed to the old gods to bring their aikane home.

******

Across the water a sated Ratchet climbed off the young detective, leaving him to recover from the latest assault but not without giving him a last mind bending piece of information. He gripped Danny by the chin and pressed hard, staring into his flushed and tormented face, "Might as well keep your legs up cop, I want one for da road later and Mano - he's gonna screw you too; reckon that's gonna hurt _bad _after what you made us to do Koa. But after that little surprise I can tell you don't mind it so much!" He ran a hand up and down Danny's body and Dan fought hard not to squirm but Ray could feel the jaw clenching between his fingertips in defiance. "What would your boss think of you now eh pig? How about your cop friends, would they spit on you if they knew what you'd done!? You not so high and mighty now Williams but don't worry – we have a solution for your haole shame – we just gonna kill you nice and slow."

He chuckled and stepped back into his underpants and jeans then blew Williams a kiss before heading back through the galley topside, he stopped at the doorway and turned back, "By the way, ever see what sharks do to a body? Not a pretty sight – maybe we go fishing and bait that hook with a juicy man-sized live worm, that way we get to hear you scream as you get eaten alive from da feet up eh bruddah. Alo-ha pig! Sw-eet dreams."

He bent his head as he went upstairs and emerged through the companionway, yawning and stretching in the sunshine before greeting his brother. "Hey brah, how's it going?" He asked and adjusted himself inside his underpants before doing up the zipper.

"You had fun little bro?"

"Payback's a bitch! Or more precisely – _McGarrett's_ bitch!" Ratch commented lewdly.

"Good times eh!"

"He did anything I asked, no trouble. That's one hot cop ready for da taking. You wanna piece?"

"Later, we need to get outta here. Storm's definitely coming, I can feel it."

********

The Navy was in McGarrett's blood, it boiled through his veins like rich orange lava from the island's dozen volcanoes, the only thing that had come close to matching his love of the service was his passion for law enforcement; for the unit he headed up and for the people who worked with him. Standing now on the water that had been his life for so many years, he looked back at the receding shores of Oahu and felt a pang of homesickness, not for his condo, the beach or parks, but for the Iolani Palace and the safety of his corner office – for the reassuringly high-pitched tones of his auburn-haired secretary and for the pot of coffee left heating on the stove. The homesickness extended to the next door office – to Danny Williams' cubicle, left empty for so long and crying out for its occupant to return. He had made a private pact with himself to fill that cold void with its rightful owner again or risk his career on revenge. He sincerely hoped that before long he and his Second would both be home, memories intact, drinking coffee from chipped mugs and swapping theories on crimes. He missed that. He missed Danno. _God dammit he missed him_!

Dropping the binoculars from his eyes he swiped angrily at the unwanted moisture accumulating there and clenched his jaw. The time to crumble was after the outcome was known, not before, not when….

In the distance was a ship, small but very real. "_**BOSS**_!" Kono shouted from above him. "There's something!"

Turning the wheel to focus the lenses on the image he was viewing he could barely make out a shape, but not the name, of a small sail boat. Heart hammering ridiculously with anticipation he raced back to the ladder and joined Kalakua up top. _Please Lord let it be him…._

"Still pretty far away," Kono said unnecessarily.

"Then let's close the gap Kono!"

*******


	24. Enough is Enough

CHAPTER 24: Enough is Enough

If a flame had sparked inside him before, now it was a raging inferno. The fury of being treated like a piece of meat fanned those flames and brought forth in Dan Williams his rare, but volatile, temper. He had just been doing his job the day his world came to a standstill simply by following the kid they called Sammie to the mechanic's garage. He never asked for it to escalate into something so mind-alteringly terrifying that lives were lost and memories drowned, but the gauntlet was down, he had been violated once more and Ratchet was right, it **was** payback time. This time he was in full possession of his mental faculties and, he was proud enough to admit, that he could be a force to be reckoned with when tested; if he wasn't he wouldn't be Second-in-Command of one of the most important task forces in the country. Steve would never have hired him. Physically however he was a wreck and not too proud to admit that!

Allowing himself the luxury of breathing, now that the younger brother had had his fill, he went back to planning a way to escape. Whilst the ropes around his wrists were tight, the one tethering him to the ring wasn't, it was also a great deal thinner, the twisted hemp strands old and musty like the weevil-riddled bed he was lying on, they were already fraying badly and Williams doubted it would take much to test their strength. There was also another stroke of good fortune, the ring wasn't soldered properly; where the metal joined in a circle there was a minute gap – it was this tiny flaw that Williams was relying on – his `_Plan A'_ - that and the age of the craft were his allies. _`Plan B'_ didn't exist, he had no time to give his waning strength to pessimism. Much as he prayed McGarrett would find him, he was also realistic enough to know that his friend would have no idea he was even on a boat, let alone which one. He _had_ to fend for himself.

Danny was hot-headed and sick, the continual rocking motion wasn't helping his nerves, nor were the shakes that had started after Ratchet assaulted him. Every now and then his body trembled, the shudder originating in his cheeks, flooding through chest and neck then out to his extremities. With only small windows and recessed shadows in the cabin he was cold, then hot, then miserable in the extreme. He was also in a great deal of pain but tried not to think about it. Pain was like family – he could cope.

He needed to know how much the brothers could hear from up top and decided to test the theory at the risk of bringing more violence upon himself. Closing his eyes he summoned up his courage and began, "Hey!" he said in a normal speaking voice, "Anyone up there?"

He waited - no response, nor sign that anyone had heard him. This time he increased the pitch so it was louder but less than a shout and was fairly confident that the sound of the ship's engines would drown him out, "_Hey bastards_! _Can you hear me, I need water_?"

Still no one. They were either toying with him or they hadn't heard. The latter would be good, he could work with that. One last try - this time a full-belted shout, "HEY YOU I'M THIRSTY!" he paused then, "HOW ABOUT SOME WATER!?" He kicked the wall a couple of times for good measure.

Topside Mano heard him shouting and leaned through the hatchway, sneering, "_SHUT UP COP!"_ He banged the sail storage cupboard in anger, "Thought you said he was no trouble?" He admonished his brother as he poked his head back out.

"Well he isn't if you _screw_ him! The poor little cop wants a drink - what'll you do, take him some?" Ray asked as he took over the helm and kept them on a straight course.

Mano smiled and indicated the bucket tied to a rope, then chuckled, "Yeah, I think I will."

"Good idea, serve da pretty boy right!"

Throwing the galvanized container into the brine with a splash he hauled up a bucket full of ocean and laughed, "He wants water – he'll _have_ water!"

Down in the cabin Danny heard the noise but didn't have time to stop and think what it might mean, now he knew he could make some noise without being heard. Grabbing the rope above his injured wrist so as not to put pressure on the break, he pulled down with his left hand as hard as possible, taking all the weight on one arm and straining the muscles. The ring never moved. Panting he tried again with the same disheartening result but stopped abruptly when he heard footsteps. Williams lay back as best he could and closed his eyes, feigning illness that in truth he felt. He could smell the man before he saw him and knew it was the big one, Mano the shark. His stomach somersaulted, now his memories had returned he knew this one was even more dangerous.

"What have we here?" Mano said, putting a mug and bucket down then eyeing the semi-naked, glistening prize on the bunk and scratching the stubble on his chin. "You unhappy with da accommodations uh?" He ran a hand down Dan's bloody chest, dirty fingernail scraping the gouged flesh. "Looks like my bruddah had a good time with you!" Checking out the peeling bandage over Dan's gunshot wound, he gripped the edge and swiftly ripped it off, Danny winced as tender skin was pulled with it. The trembling was back and the detective wanted to kick himself for it, it had nothing to do with his mind, and everything to do with his failing strength - not that Mano would know that; he would think it a sign of weakness and that irked him.

"So this is what Koa did eh?" Kaika asked, looking at the encrusted wound that had barely skinned over. "I'm impressed, I always thought our mahu cousin was a pussy ya know? Bet it hurt some." He fingered the pink, tender area and Williams shifted to one side to avoid the probing touch. He still said nothing, tongue worrying at the damage he did inside his cheek to stop himself from voicing his opinion and getting into more trouble.

As it happened, whatever he had said would have made no difference to the man, Mano had every intention of causing him more pain anyway. "So tell me cop," he began as he rubbed a thumb lovingly over the wound, "Does it hurt NOW!?" He unexpectedly pushed his thumb right into the center of the healing wound, pressing down until Williams couldn't help but yell, _**"Oh God!!"**_

Danny arched his back as molten agony stabbed him in the stomach, cords popped on his neck and he threshed on the bed, arms pulling in their sockets above him. As the Hawaiian maintained the downward pressure on him, beads of perspiration broke out all over his body, he thought his hand would go right through the scarred skin. He gasped and moaned, bashing head repeatedly against the mattress as though it would help to ease his suffering but nothing helped.

"You're nothing but a piece of useless flotsam, haole. Good for nothing except to be used; you and your McGarrett - and he's even too _pupule_ to find you. You gonna be deep-sixed before he even knows where to start looking! How's da pain now **eh**?"

"_Please_…"

"You want me to stop? _Beg_ me pig." More pressure.

"Please…don't..!" He couldn't quite get the words out and took one more deep breath.

"That's more like it."

"P..please…**DON'T STOP**!" Dan said defiantly through a closed throat and Mano was so shocked by the brave response he took his thumb off the wound.

The injury was red and throbbing from the brutal treatment and the elder Kaika brother took satisfaction in his cruel work. Sliding his hand down to stop at the `v' between the detective's legs. "You got some balls, I'll give you that." He chuckled in admiration as he tugged viciously what wasn't his to touch. Danny grit his teeth and fought to control the room that was spinning in his head and the fury in heart. Mano continued, "My father used to do this to me all da time, it scared me at first but," he shrugged, "I got used to it. Looks like you got used to it too eh Five-0? Maybe now you spread those soft haole thighs for me like you did my kaikaina! Told you before you belong to us – you da spoils of war!"

Williams panted out angrily, "War? What war? It's all in your HEAD! You're all MAD - nothing but two-bit sex-starved criminal _perverts_. You thought your cousin was a sick mahu, well I've got news for you – at least he was being honest with himself! You want to screw a man, be my guest, but don't think I don't know it's because you can't satisfy a woman!!"

Mano gripped him hard, making Dan moan, "You trying to get yourself killed early boy? It won't work. We're gonna take our sweet time about slicing you – shark bait. Before that you wanna see how I satisfy a wahine? Didn't get enough of me last time eh curly?"

`_Oh shit._' Dan thought, scared he was going to have to submit himself once more, he was so tired of all this, "Like I care! I'm sick and if you don't believe me feel my head, I reckon I caught something from the hospital – maybe if you touch me you'll catch it too, like your animal of a brother surely has!" Danny knew that these men weren't stupid but it didn't hurt to try, besides which he wanted to taunt them the way they had taunted him.

"Second-hand goods eh? You got some disease not from da hospital but from your boss mebbe? I see how close you two are - calling out his name." Mano taunted. "Yeah you haoles are all da same – _fucking_ cops!" Seeing no response to his goading the Hawaiian reached out and touched Dan's forehead, drawing his fingers back as he felt the obvious heat coming off the flushed young man. "Poor piggy, you need water now? I want you well so I can gut you and make you bleed while you watch."

Mano scooped up a cup of water from the bucket and in mock-tenderness held a hand under Williams' head to lift him so he could drink. Danny smelled the brine a second too late and as the mug was mashed violently against his lips and front teeth, Mano grasped his hair tightly and pulled him back then quickly put his forearm over Danny's face and pinched his nostrils with one hand whilst forcing him to drink with the other.

Dan couldn't breathe, he was choking on the stuff. As he coughed and spluttered much of the water was lost on his chest and neck, making his wounds sting, but still he had no choice but to swallow some of the muck and it had an instant effect on him. His legs kicked out, one hitting the hull hard and the other stabbing the empty air as the disgusting liquid tobogganed down his esophagus.

"Drink up, make you feel all better!" The Hawaiian laughed.

Dan gagged, his stomach turning over but Mano wasn't finished with him and as he fought to stop himself from being sick, another cup full of salt water was thrust at him. _**"You… sadistic… moron!"**_ He managed to gasp as more of the stuff was poured down his throat. This time he didn't stop himself from giving in to the urge to vomit and Mano moved just far enough away as brine gushed out of Dan's mouth like water from a damaged hydrant onto the floor. His stomach emptied over and over; the only consolation being that he had sneered at breakfast that morning. As he retched, his stomach muscles contracted savagely, the resulting spasm in his damaged organs was agonizing in the extreme.

Mano looked at the mess and back to the abused man whose chest was heaving up and down, "Now that wasn't very hospitable Williams. See now I'm gonna have to punish you!"

Danny was shivering so much his teeth began chattering, the cold water and aftermath of vomiting causing everything to cramp. As a surfer he was used to swallowing a certain amount when he went about his hobby but having mugfuls of the stuff forced on you was tantamount to being given poison. He spat, unable to get the taste out of his mouth. He would have given anything for a sip of clear, clean tap water.

Williams turned his head to the smiling man, anger boiling up inside him along with the salty water. "You done yet, you **bastard**!?"

"Hell no, just getting started here man. I still owe you for mucking up da floor! You also kicked da wall and I reckon you should stop that."

He licked his lips, "How are you going to stop me?" As soon as he said it he regretted opening his big, brine-encrusted mouth.

"Oh simple, I'm gonna break your fucking toe – see if you wanna kick then!"

Danny shook his head side to side in a silent `NO', and pulled even more at the tethers, he didn't care if the man saw what he was doing. He had to try and break free and soon. But soon wasn't soon enough and even though he struck out with both feet, catching his assailant in the ribs and knocking the wind out of him he wasn't strong enough in his current state to avert the penalty for being sick. Mano leaned bodily on top of his legs and, like riding a bucking bronco, wrestled his right one up. Holding his foot in one hand he grabbed tightly hold of Danny's big toe and with an audible crack forced it straight back to a vertical position, snapping it. The scream that emanated from Williams' throat ought to have been enough to shatter glass, but it was cut short as a black canopy settled over him and he came very close to passing out. All he could do was whimper.

"Now you try kicking da hull!" Kaika said and dropped his foot against the base board with an excruciating thump. Danny was unable to speak, concentrating instead on fighting his nerve endings, every fiber of his being concerned with staying conscious so he could free himself from his torturers. He wanted to sob. He wanted to kill. He wanted to go back to the hospital, curl up into a ball and hear McGarrett tell him everything would be fine. _He wanted to die. _

"Hey! Mano, what are you doing down there?" Ratchet called out from above as he leaped down the short flight of stairs two at a time holding onto the sides. "You reaming him good eh?"

"Nah bruddah, he's a flake, can't even put up with a little teasing." Mano watched his brother's face turn from interest to concern, "What you look so worried for Ratch? We're making good time eh?"

"Yeah but you'd better come up top brah. Could be nothing or could be something. There's a big boat – heading our way!"

"_Shit_!"

********

Alone again, practically paralyzed with pain, sadness and exhaustion, Dan Williams was in ten times worse shape than before; if indeed that were possible. The injured officer reassessed his chances and found them not just wanting but practically non-existent, _`Some force to be reckoned with now! Couldn't even fight a drugged mouse.'_ He mused, sparing himself the luxury of that glib thought before turning his molecular effort back to his present predicament. At least with whatever distraction had caused his abuser to go topside there was a small chance that Mano wouldn't make good on his more immediate threats. Long term Williams assessed the end was close but in the meantime Danny doubted his ability to stop his fractured mind from being sucked back into the darkness from whence he had so recently returned should he have to endure more torture at the hands of the evil brothers.

His back ached from the rape and newly broken toe throbbed badly only adding to the demands of his mind to leave consciousness and cushion himself in oblivion. Even the slow trickle between his legs was something he forced himself not to consider in the waking world. Dan had the fleeting impression that his bleached visage now resembled that of the poor man trapped in the famous Munch painting, `The Scream'. Like the silently screaming man his mouth was a fish-like `0' as he tried to get his breathing back under control and push back the fear threatening to overwhelm him. Madness beckoning in its purest wax-crayoned form.

Attempting to focus his mind through a haze of red-hot chattering nerve endings was like trying to silence Grand Central Station with a laryngitic command. His pain receptors weren't listening, just belting out agonizing soprano messages in a body that was slowing shutting down.

He _had_ to remember what he needed to do next. He had to get free whilst he had the chance, before his own physique turned traitor. If he concentrated hard surely he would know what he had to do… yes…the restraints - he had to sever his restraints! He needed the steel and flames of anger back to fuel his flight and in order to do that he would force himself to relive all that had happened, it was a brave thing to do in his tenuous mental condition but one Danny didn't even understand, all he knew was that he had to stop two criminals from fleeing and without McGarrett to help him out he needed the cop part of him to reawaken and take care of the scared little boy inside.

With a deep breath he sought the memories again and with the shattering review of his harsh treatment and the knowledge of what these men had forced upon him and were capable of doing to others, Danny became - like the undercurrent in the land of his birth - a molten river of fire and adrenalin, just enough to carry out what he had to do. Temporarily brushing aside his aches and sorrows, he pulled at the ropes like his life depended on it, as in truth it did. Time was not on the side of the angels.

Gritting his teeth against the agony, he held onto the rope again with his one good hand and stretched his arm muscles until they shrieked for mercy, pulling back and forth like a solo tug of war against his opponent, the boat. After what seemed like an eternity and to Danny's immense surprise, it wasn't the rope that gave way but the timber board holding the ring in place. With a crack that sounded explosive in the enclosed space, the weathered wood lost its fight with the perspiring man beneath and Williams' arms dropped heavily to his chest, accompanied by hemp, brass and splinters. He cried out involuntarily and then just as unexpectedly wept with joy. The relief was overwhelming and insane laughter played around his lips, even as tears poured down his face from red-rimmed eyes.

No time for luxuriating in his victory, he fought the bubbling hysteria to remember that he was still encumbered by ropes but at least he was free to move. Free was perhaps an overstatement of his situation since every twitch of muscle movement caused him to almost black out. Not a fraction of his body was left uninjured – or so it seemed. His first thought, after finding yet more courage to swing his naked legs off the bunk, was to locate the boat hook; the sharp pointed implement would be his only weapon against god-knew-what.

The sound of an overtaxed engine warned Williams to hold on but he was too late as the boat instantly lurched and plunged into the heady ocean. They were running, but from what Dan wasn't sure. The young man slid sideways, his shoulder connecting heavily with a solid beam as the vessel shot across the waves making his stomach see-saw with the remnants of sea-water whirling around his guts. He felt nauseated and the pain in his shoulder heralded yet another purple bruise to add to his growing collection. A metal scraping sound accompanied the movement of the boat hook as it free fell, passing tantalizingly close to where Dan stood wavering by the bunk, before tipping out of sight under a cabinet.

Scared that the Kaika's would be down any minute to check on their prisoner, he fell to his knees, suppressing a groan and clutching his abused healing wound with his plastered wrist. Carefully avoiding the sloshing brine he had regurgitated, Williams fished under the furniture with tied hands for the would-be weapon and cursed when the brief search brought out nothing. Panting for breath he tried again, and this time, to his relief his fingertips touched something sharp. He painstakingly began pulling it in. The boat moved again, rocking him off balance and this time he shrieked in agony as his foot automatically came down to stop him falling and his broken toe connected with the flooring sending fireworks throughout his nervous system. He lost the hook again, frustration and pain bringing water to his eyes, this time not for joy.

**Was no one on his side?**

But someone was and, once his vision had cleared somewhat, Danny noticed the movement had brought the hook the other side of the chasm and mercifully within easy reach. Stifling a sob, he grasped the thing for dear life and took a few precious seconds to stop his heart from jumping out of his ribcage before using what little energy he had to raise himself, with difficulty, to a standing position.

Nervously checking the galley for signs of movement, Williams hobbled across the gulf towards daylight. In the distance he heard booming thunder and shuddered, the sound was like a death knell; but for him or his captors he wasn't sure. Temporarily hooking the weapon over the robe pocket he tried to pull the inadequate garment about himself for a modicum of decency. Fumbling with the belt he was aware that the small action was for his own benefit but much-needed after his most recent violation. He hadn't time to retrieve the pants. He resolved, should he get out alive, never to sleep in anything but a full set of clothes ever again.

Hiding in the shadow at the base of the steps he understood that now came the difficult part; negotiating the steep stairs one-handed, swiftly and silently with multiple injuries. Danny was sure he would be spotted and, if luck was on the side of the Kaika's, shot on sight. Perhaps, he mused, being shot was better than the alternative.

He would go on ten.

*******

There comes a point when someone is sick or injured that they pass beyond the here and now into the realm of waking sleep where reality is a gossamer door away and unconnected with the shrouded stillness of their existence. In this state almost anything can happen to them without them appearing to care, but disconnected though they are they are still vulnerable in the extreme; more so for they do not care what happens to them – they are goal orientated or floating unawares and sometimes in danger.

In this case, Danny Williams had begun to slip into that state without conscious thought, the foggy bubble now surrounding him with a gray light preceded unconsciousness; it was just a question of when. His goal now was simply to stop the men on board the boat – he had almost forgotten why in his hazy clouded world, all he knew was that he wanted to sleep for a million years and to do so he had to stop these savages. Conversely if someone had given him permission to lay down right there on the deck he would have kissed their feet and gladly fallen to his death, too tired to care. For now however he had a job to do and after it was over the fever would shrink wrap him in darkness.

The Kaika brothers knew nothing of the Five-0 officer's freedom or vulnerability, they didn't sense canny death creeping upon them, they only heard the tormented wind howling about their ears as a parchment and blue shape lurched from the hold and staggered toward them, hell bent on destruction. No time to read rights, no hesitation or mercy, it was do or be done unto, animal self-preservation or vengeful death.

S-shaped weapon in hand, like some crazed ghostly pirate, a shivering and hurting Danny Williams launched himself at the nearest man. The tip of the hook rose and fell and across the boiling water the sound of a gunshot was heard on the nearby Cutter as counterpoint to the coming storm.

********


	25. Things Come To Those Who Wait

Chapter 25: Things Come to Those Who Wait

Distant figures, unfocused images against a backdrop of rapidly darkening skies, squall whipping foam into a bubble-bath nightmare, flashes of sickly yellow light shooting across the horizon and all, it seemed, in slow motion. Like a scene from Shakespeare's `Tempest', the ocean before them was becoming increasingly disturbed making it hard to see just _what_ was taking place on the smaller boat currently trying to out-run the patrol vessel.

McGarrett stood his ground, a lonely figure balanced against the elements and felt he was witnessing his prey. When the sound of gun fire reached his ears there was no doubt left in his overcrowded mind – the scene playing out before him was just as tragic as the Bard had penned for his own play; death and mayhem were on the menu today. Had he just witnessed the sound of his friend's demise?

"Boss! I'm pretty sure it's Danny!" Kono's said excitedly from his own precarious perch above. Like McGarrett, his eyes had never left the growing pinpoint speckle as they gained on it, heart pounding he was sure he recognized the second-in-command on deck.

"I know!" Steve shouted half-buoyed, half-terrified. He knew Danno's outline as

intimately as the lines on his own palm. He just needed to be closer to him, faster. "Tell the Captain we need top speed! He's in danger! Also radio Chin to abandon his search and make sure an ambulance is standing by at the dock. Thank God we've found him!"

"Will do!" Kalakua took no time in obeying but navigated his way to the bridge with some difficulty, the increased movement under him making his stomach flip-flop unhappily as he took to the slippery, spray-coated rungs.

"Come on, come on!" Left alone McGarrett slapped the damp metal behind him and urged the cutter on, "Stay with us Danno, we're coming for you."

********

Mano Kaika was not prepared for the force of the blow that connected agonizingly with his sternum, nor the fury of the flesh and blood whirlwind that delivered it. In his mind they had done their job, stripping the cop - the enemy - down to the basics of humanity and robbing him of his will and manhood before snatching away his very existence. The fact that the man was now standing before him, seemingly unbowed, wielding an everyday object with such accuracy and determination gave the elder brother pause to reflect on everything that had happened since the day Dan Williams strolled into their lives.

In that brief moment he questioned their fleeting victory over one of Hawaii's most respected cops. Deep down he had known they were treading close to the edge; that the cost might prove too high; Koa, Lupe, Sammie – all had paid in some form. He had felt the hairs rise on the back of his neck well before Ratchet ever brought their human albatross aboard. Now it was too late to run, for here in a bloody typeface, delivered by a half-naked madman, was the bill. And the price? Quite possibly his life or liberty.

To his surprise, Mano noted no pleasure in Williams' face as he let go of the makeshift weapon lodged deep into tender skin, just a resigned disgust at what he had to do. Mano recognized his haole enemy's humanity and loathed him for his weakness. He looked to where his brother stood, stunned into inaction as the scene played out before him and at that moment hated him too.

After his initial burst of energy, Danny swayed inelegantly and sighed with a mixture of relief and regret when the boat hook struck its target. He never got used to hurting people; part of his job that didn't sit well with his morals – cops saved lives they didn't take them. As much as he hated these men, revenge was never further from his mind – he simply needed to continue living and to do so meant incapacitating by any means necessary in order to preserve his own life. He would survive – **he had to**; Steve would expect no less of him. The fact that he was still in grave danger barely registered in his befogged mind, he was so tired that only the adrenalin cocktail kept him from falling flat on his face.

Struggling against the pain and madder than a volcano, Mano grabbed a revolver from its resting place by the helm and, hand shaking, loosed a shot at his nemesis, aim wavering badly as water vapor draped across his eyes and the shock of his wound began to register.

Williams ducked automatically as a bullet whizzed past his right shoulder narrowly missing him but his gaze never left the man he had so grievously wounded.

Gritting his teeth Mano sneered, "You're pathetic Williams, can't even finish da job properly! You're a weak whore, only good for screwing. Ratch… **kill him**!" he urged his lamentable brother and, clutching his bleeding chest with one hand, aimed again with the other, intent on drilling a hole into McGarrett's boy. _"Slaughter the pig or I will!!"_

Danny tried to make some sense of the spinning heat of his mind, his sole purpose now was to remain upright and stop this seemingly endless nightmare. Thinking the next ballistic would find its mark he shook his head and pleaded, "NO! No more…_**no more**_!" before doing the only thing he felt he could; conjuring up a Herculean reserve of strength, he ran straight towards the gunman and shoved him with all his might toward the edge of the _Aloha Malu_, heedless of the agony he inflicted upon himself as a result.

Arms wheeling in surprise, Mano Kaika dropped the gun and yelled out as the small cannon ball detective hefted his solid figure across the wooden planks like a line backer. The momentum carried both men hurling across space but only one went overboard. Gripping onto the side of the boat to prevent himself from following, Dan had the dubious satisfaction of seeing the man's face one last time as the rapist hurtled into the water many feet below and disappeared from sight with a geyser-like splash. As he fell, Mano cursed his assailant to his last breath, swearing revenge from the afterlife.

"JESUS MANO! _MANO_!?" Ray screamed and, despite the threat of the steadily closing Coast Guard, turned off the engine before frantically checking for any sign his brother had survived the plunge into the rolling depths. "What have you done _you bastard_?" He panted out, "You killed him! MANO!? _**MANO**_!?"

As Ratchet ran up and down studying the water and calling out to his brother in ever more anxious tones, Dan, grateful for the small respite, sank shivering to his knees. He blinked exhaustedly, unable to stop himself from reliving the look on the big Hawaiian's face as the shock of his impending death became clear to him. He knew that look, had worn it when the other man, the one they called Koa, had shot him in the cane field – the look of despair and disbelief; that your life had come to such an untimely end, cut short by another's hand. He fell forward onto his hands, crying and retching from the emotional and physical anguish he felt. Behind him Ray Kaika, convinced his brother had gone, spat like a rabid dog at the ocean and began searching for the gun.

He would finish this once and for all.

********

Never in his life had Steve McGarrett urged something to go as fast as he did today, despite reaching their top speed of twenty-nine point seven knots he spurred the CG vessel to even greater speed as they plowed through the waves like a breaching whale to reach their target. It was all the Five-0 Chief could do to stop himself from piloting in her Captain's stead.

Aware of the urgency, preparations were made to board as they approached. At McGarrett's request Kono and another officer had rifles trained on their target. Kalakua grew visibly pale as he looked through the sight line at an increasingly rocking horizon; he wasn't sure he could shoot the side of the hull let alone anything as small as a man without throwing up.

Whilst Danny was fending off his kidnappers, through a temporary eery wind-scourged silence McGarrett watched in horror as a man fell overboard. He literally stopped breathing until, managing to focus the lenses of his fogged binoculars he saw, to his intense relief, that Williams was not the victim. His heart stopped pounding as he concluded one of the brothers had gone over the side.

They were gaining swiftly, aided by the fact that the _Aloha Malu_ had stopped dead in the water but from the look on Danno's face it wasn't fast enough. It didn't appear that his aikane was even aware they were on their way to help as he rocked on his knees. McGarrett's heart went out to him, so close but still so far. Williams may have disposed of one of the criminals but there was still one more to reckon with and by the looks of it they would be too late.

Shouting out an ineffectual warning to his young officer, McGarrett's stomach knotted as he saw the remaining kidnapper creep up on his friend unawares.

"Sir, they're preparing a boat." One of the regular volunteers advised and Steve rushed to the port side whilst donning a life jacket. He just hoped they would be in time.

***********

One by one, like cars zipping past on a freeway, reasons vied back and forth in Ratchet's mind for, and against, slaughtering the cop at his feet. He understood that no matter his decision, today was the last day of his freedom. He had lost his only brother and that was reason enough to commit Williams' body to the deep but still he hesitated. There were witnesses approaching and he knew all eyes were turned his way, he could see light reflected off twin glass circles as they swung to face him.

The last surviving Kaika's palms were sweating, making it hard to grip the gun and, as a consequence, the barrel danced tiny circles in the air barely five feet from the detective's damp curls. It would be so easy, his victim looked half-dead already in the fading light; all he had to do was squeeze and the man was gone. Clouds were crowding around them, like balls of malignant fungus they pressed in from all sides, dark gray layered on dove - merging into one another with thunderous results. These colliding giants on the horizon made Ratchet's head ache with their constrained electricity as they smothered what little remained of the sun. It was hard to think.

It was just like the last time Ratchet held a gun in his hand – common sense made him question the shooting of a lawman in front of people, this time fellow officers, but he was in for a very long stretch as it was after having killed Koa and assaulting a cop. Perhaps he could win points in prison with a big blue notch on his belt, he figured there would be plenty inside willing to cut him some slack and give him a pat on the back for wasting Five-0's second most important pig.

Ultimately what had he to lose? He could avenge his brother's death and rid himself of the person who had ruined his life. How sweet was that!?

If he was going to do it, he would have to do it now, so little time was left before they over-ran his position. He felt strangely comfortable with his decision. "We had fun while it lasted cop." he laughed.

Dan Williams turned around, half-expecting to see the grim reaper hovering over him, instead it was Ratchet Kaika, pointing a gun at him and his skin crawled within the inadequate robe he wore. This time he couldn't see a way out.

"**THIS IS FIVE-0, DROP YOUR WEAPON**!" The order boomed across the void like the voice of a vengeful god to spoil Ratchet's composure and give Danny a few precious seconds.

"_MCGARRETT I PRESUME_? _WE_ **ARE** _HONORED_!" The Hawaiian shouted back gleefully, he was skirting close to euphoria with such an important audience to witness Williams' extermination.

With the brief distraction, Danny clambered with difficulty to his feet, ropes hampering him and managed to limp to some inadequate cover, but on a boat so small the reality was that he could never evade his murderer for long. After pushing Mano over the side he had considered following him, at least that way he would be free of it all – the pain, humiliation and memories. Incredibly though he had heard Steve's voice. Steve had found him and that warmed his soul more than anything he had experienced in the past weeks, he had been lost for so long that simply having his friend close made him feel like he had come home; gave him hope that the nightmares would end.

"LET DAN WILLIAMS GO, DROP YOUR GUN NOW!"

A small craft had been launched from the cutter and it was from there that McGarrett now directed the conversation on a bull horn. It was clear that Ratchet wasn't happy to comply with any request that didn't involve drilling a hole in Williams' hide and Steve tensed, knowing instinctively what the outcome of this showdown would be.

"_YOU HAVE TO BE KIDDING ME MCGARRETT – YOU AND I BOTH KNOW THERE'S NO GOING BACK. HE KILLED MY BRUDDAH, I HAVE NO REASON TO LET DA MURDERER GO!" _

Raymond Kaika always believed in his ability to treat the world and everything in it according to _his_ law, his and his ohana's. They used and abused, giving nothing in return. One of life's takers, he had no idea that for once the world would take back _with interest_. He laughed as he made a move towards Danny's hiding place; laughed and at the same time steadied the gun on the sick man hunched down against the locker with nowhere to run. Like a pinned butterfly, the sandy haired cop was his for the taking – **again**. He was sure that Williams' death would benefit him during his incarceration, a long stretch could be made bearable with a reputation to precede him. He never figured on the man behind the rifle just across from where he now stood, the officer whose eagle-eyed gaze had kept Ratchet planted within the cross hairs this whole time. As a consequence, when the Hawaiian announced cheerfully that there would be one less pig to squeal come sunset and unwisely began to squeeze the trigger, he was more than surprised to see a red hole bloom in the center of _his_ chest, bubbling forth rich fluid like the overspill from a corked Champagne bottle. He felt nothing, shock separating him from his nerve endings until, with one last lopsided leer at a stunned Danny Williams, he crumpled onto the newly scrubbed deck with a resounding thud and a bloody gurgle - and died.

"What a waste." Steve commented without true emotion, he was too busy feeling relief that it wasn't Danno he would be mourning as night fell.

Anxious to see how Danno was, McGarrett was the first to secure the line and climb aboard the ill-fated vessel when they pulled alongside.

As men came to rescue him, Danny simply stared at the sightless body before him. He wasn't sure if he dreamed the whole thing or if he was truly safe. He was almost too scared to believe it was real, that two of the men who had dealt with him so brutally were no longer alive to concern him. He had slipped out of there `here and now' some time ago, but one thought did cross his mind as he barely registered movement beside him – just how much of what had happened would he tell Steve?

********

"Kono get these ropes off him!" Crouching down beside his fallen friend, Steve gently touched Danny's forearm as Kono, unfolding a knife, sliced through his bonds with an "_Awhue_!" comment. Williams appeared to be burning up – white pallor, flushed cheeks and washed out blue eyes with dark circles under them but that wasn't all, he had a line of dried blood that appeared to run down his breast bone beneath the flimsy gown he wore and a number of nasty looking bruises visible. "Danno?" No response. Steve feared the worst, despite the fact that Williams was conscious, he had only just begun reconstructing his aikane's memories and cursed this set back in his recovery. Doc had said Danny's mind was delicately poised on the edge of remembering and any trauma could send him spiraling back into even worse memory loss. Bergman had spoken briefly to him after Williams' recent kidnapping and reminded him how sick the young man was and now, with Dan unresponsive, McGarrett thought he may have truly lost him. "Danno, can you hear me?"

"_No more..please_." Came the softest of pleas. Steve almost cried.

"It's okay my friend, you're safe now."

Gradually the glassy eyes turned to face McGarrett and with a heavy sigh Danny slipped down onto one elbow, his friend automatically reaching out to prop him up, "Steve?" It was as though he had only just realized someone was with him.

"Yes I'm here." McGarrett offered gently,

"Did…did you…get them all?" Dan asked, barely coherent. McGarrett wondered vaguely what was meant by the question since to his knowledge there had only been two kidnappers on board. Did Danno recall his other assaults? Reassured that Kono was now checking out the quarters he offered his best guess and decided to worry about his friend's memory after he got him back to hospital, "I think we got them all." Dan sighed with relief.

"Hey boss!" Kono said peering out of the hatch at McGarrett with a funereal glance, "You need to see this!"

Nodding, Steve turned back to his first priority, "I'll be gone for just a minute or two, hang in there kiddo." To the medic attending his friend he ordered, "Stay with him." And squeezing Williams' shoulder reassuringly went below deck.

It was difficult to maneuver around his Hawaiian' officer's bulk in such an enclosed space but Kono stepped aside to indicate the crew quarters beyond the small galley kitchen. McGarrett ducked his head as he stepped through the darkened doorway and Kalakua heard a sharp intake of breath as he surveyed the scene. The remnants inside told a tale that Steve did not want to read; checkered sheets badly ruffled and wet with tell-tale blood drops, a broken ceiling plank with a brass ring and frayed strands of rope attached, what looked and smelled like bile on the floor next to pajama bottoms Steve recognized as Danny's, and a bucket and mug. "Salt water," Kono commented sadly after examining the contents, "Looks like they forced him to drink it before or after they..," He couldn't finish the shocking sentence he had in his head.

Steve gave an anguished roar that could be heard by all above and kicked the bucket hard, spilling the contents across the floor. He swore colorfully as he sank his hands into the sheets, flinging the bed clothing off the bunk. Kalakua understood – he wanted to do that _and more_. If one of the men who had hurt their kaikaina was still alive his knuckles would be bruised and bloody right now from beating them to a pulp. Stepping out of the torture chamber, McGarrett held onto Kono's arm briefly and gasped back the sob searing his throat, "Say nothing of this until I tell you." He ordered. Kono agreed, aware they were on delicate ground. From what he knew Danny was still suffering from amnesia and if they were correct in their assumptions, this latest abuse could have pushed him further into his shell or brought back hideous memories of what he had already been through. Either way it was a tragic outcome.

The Five-0 Chief gripped the rungs, sighed heavily and hefted himself back up to the fresh air and Danny's side. From a short distance away he studied the injured man. To his credit Dan seemed to be more aware of his surroundings than before but McGarrett could see he had come to the end of his strength, he was shifting his leg as though he were uncomfortable and Steve thought it must be to do with the lengthy gash along one side but as his eyes traced the dribbling scarlet he noticed William's big toe was bruised and at an odd angle, "_My God_!" he breathed, surprised that none of them had noticed the break before.

The medic was delicately unwinding hemp from Dan's torn wrist and the other broken one and Steve heard his friend quietly thank the man. "Danno, what happened to your toe?" McGarrett asked, more harshly than he meant, as he came closer.

Williams looked up wearily at the question, "I shouldn't have been sick." He said matter-of-factly and shrugged his shoulders. Steve felt ill; that they should have done this on top of everything else made him glad they were both dead but sorry he and Danno wouldn't have the satisfaction of seeing them brought to justice. They only had the sentencing of Lupe Tanilofa to bring some sense of peace back to Danny's life. Still the vengeful part of the Irish cop's mind couldn't help a small frisson of pleasure at seeing his best friend's rapist lying dead at his feet.

Finally the threatened rain began to fall and McGarrett was transported back to that day in the cane field when they found Williams near death. The similarity wasn't lost on him and he wanted to get his friend out of the cold before he caught his death, Danny was already shaking like a leaf. "Let's get you out of here aikane," He and Kono helped to lift the sadly quiet Williams to his feet, taking care not to jostle him as they wrapped a blanket around him and McGarrett hugged him close, wanting to protect him from even a breeze.

Dan turned his head to look at McGarrett, eyes watering with relief at the face he now recognized, "It's good to see you Steve, _I missed you_. Mahalo for finding me."

Just as McGarrett was digesting that heart-wrenching comment, a roaring sound from beside them diverted their attention to a dripping red blur as it rose from the side of the _Aloha Malu_ with a wounded cry. Something swooped down on top of them and Danny yelled out as he felt a sharp pain between his shoulder blades and found himself yanked backwards by his skin - ripped away from Steve's protective embrace.

Fingertips desperately touching but unable to pull him back in time, McGarrett lost his friend a **third** time. Williams reached out to him but instead of salvation saw the sky fall and rain clouds tip towards him as, with an agonized gasp, he fell overboard into the churning water, gripped from behind by he knew-not-what.

"What the **Hell** just happened!!?" Steve said, shocked as his friend was torn from him and pulled over the side by an apparition. Not waiting for an answer he stripped himself of his life jacket, jacket, holstered weapon and shoes, dropping them where he stood and without further hesitation clambered carefully onto the side of the boat and dove straight into the water after Danny.

Disbelief surrounded the men left behind, it was unclear if they had witnessed a denizen of the deep like some monstrous squid steal someone from under their noses, or the ghost of a man back from the dead. Only one person guessed what had really happened. "_**STEVE! DANNY**_!" Kono shouted in blind panic as he peered over the edge, but all he could see beyond the shifting waves was his boss' pale socks as he kicked into the depths.

*********


	26. Water Everywhere

CHAPTER 26: Water Everywhere

He dived through water that was mercifully clear. As yet unaffected by the storm brewing on the surface, the vast rippling blue appeared deceptively smooth like richly layered moire taffeta. Hampered by the extra weight of soaked clothing Steve found it hard progressing through the cloying cloak surrounding him, even though he pulled his arms back and forth in tandem with his long legs, stroking aside as much of the syrup as he could to coast through the water with the unconscious resolve of an arrow. An Olympian couldn't have struggled harder to increase the speed at which he swam, and in this case McGarrett's incentive to succeed was far greater than winning any sportsman's lump of metal – his prize was the saving of a life; a life too precious to leave to the decaying depths. He would have given a great deal for a simple pair of flippers to aid his progress. Giving no thought to the danger he might be in or the confusion he had left topside, he simply acted as he knew Williams would in his place; impulsively.

Steve's ears popped painfully as he fought the urge to resurface to replenish air fast corrupting in his lungs. Every now and then he let a precious bead escape,

having used what he could of the life-giving oxygen contained within. He didn't stop to watch it float inexorably upwards but a twinge of envy accompanied its path to daylight. It was hard for him, he wasn't an underwater swimmer by nature but years of running had at least given him a modicum of control over his breathing. He certainly needed that now when seconds seemed like minutes and many minutes would be too long.

As his dark hair drifted like lazy seaweed about his face, Steve ignored the natural beauty of the life cascading about him, sombre turtles and shoals of exotic fish swam past, tails flapping in an effort to flee from the strangely clad creature invading their underwater domain, he was too busy praying that Danny had managed to fill his surfer's bellows with a good amount of air before being pulled under. His own lack of it was becoming all too apparent, burning his lungs as he struggled to get a visual on the target. If Williams, who had been down seconds longer, were feeling the same effects, injured as he was, then Steve was facing the possibility that his young colleague could drown before help arrived. If that were the case would a watery grave with his closest companion seem preferable to the pain of continuing without him?

Shaking off the melancholy and concentrating on the here and now, McGarrett watched as large shadows were cast on the deep. Fluorescent fish were suddenly repainted in washed-out tones as clouds absorbed the heavenly rays of light that pierced the emerald water and replaced them with gloom. One by one the perfectly angled stripes were snuffed out by an unseen force until finally visibility itself was reduced making it significantly harder for him to locate his officer.

Steve spotted a churning maelstrom below and began treading water, hands waving in circles and legs gently kicking, trying to get a fix on what was causing movement in the distance. His heartbeat echoed painfully in blocked ears when he noticed the trail of dissipating red ribbons marking the spot where Williams and his assailant were locked in a death grip and in his panic at what he saw McGarrett almost lost vital oxygen. Blood was intertwining as it spun away from the men in twirling lines like vapor from high altitude airplanes in a clear summer sky. But planes didn't attract predators like blood could and Steve, suspended in their world, was all too aware of the risk of sharks. Checking around he saw none but the thought spurred him to even greater efforts.

Williams, held tight by a dying Mano, was anchored near gigantic black lava boulders that were home to a vibrant mosaic of multi-colored sea anemones and corals, all feeding together in tiny colonies that swayed back and forth with the tides. At the base of the geological marvel and far from the sand-covered sea bed below, the two men were struggling for supremacy, precious air bubbles rising like crystal clear pearls to the surface all around them. Technically they weren't that far down but to McGarrett it seemed like fathoms before he reached them.

Shorter of breath by the second but determined to reach his friend, Steve continued on to Danny's aid. As he got closer, a huge shadow floated overhead like a _Hahalua_ - a manta ray - and he instinctively hugged close to cover letting the sinister object pass. As it sailed overhead he saw to his relief it was merely the blanket that had come loose from Williams' shoulders. He swam on.

Dan Williams was losing the fight. The madman was determined they should die together and all he could do was struggle to the best of his waning strength. The shock of his abrupt abduction meant he had gasped and exhaled so fast he didn't have time to take a proper breath and although normally strong he was weak from pain and fever and his lungs were on fire. In addition to the lack of oxygen, his back was in agony where the razor hook pierced him as efficiently as being hung for meat in a butcher's market. He never doubted this was the end - part of his mind was at peace with that – his physical injures were minor compared to the emotional mountains he would have to climb should he live, and whilst he maintained the façade of adrenalin-filled battle he was truly resigned to the inevitable outcome. He would not die alone, he had bested at least one of his abusers and that gave him comfort. What didn't sit well in his mind was what McGarrett would go through after his death. He had fought this far for Steve as much as anything and regretted the chance not to say mahalo and more for a lifetime's worth of friendship and guidance crammed into a few short years. Without Steve there would be no Second-in-Command of Five-0, the tough no-nonsense boss shaped him into being the best detective he could be and along with that came an unexpected bonus in the form of a bond that could not be broken, even in death. He just hoped McGarrett knew how much it meant to him.

As Danny felt the excruciating pull of the curved metal sear his flesh once more he decided enough was enough, he had had a fair crack at life and hoped he would be remembered for more than his last mistake, to die in service to the people he loved was all he could achieve with his last breath _'Don't mourn me Steve – it's been a good life.'_ He thought with uncanny clarity and, unaware how close he was to being saved, gave himself up to Heaven.

When he got closer to the pair, Steve saw Mano wrench Dan painfully back and witnessed an agonized look followed, strangely, by a slight smile cross his friend's face and he knew with growing despair he was almost too late. When he saw the escaping bubbles rise like floating Christmas ornaments from Danno's mouth, McGarrett understood the detective was dying and something inside him tore to shreds - he couldn't get this far only to lose him, he _had_ to save Williams or risk going mad with grief and guilt. Kicking his feet wildly, he launched himself with unbridled fury at Mano Kaika and tried to wrestle the limp young officer from the madman's grip. The injury to the Hawaiian's chest was severe making him an easy target and as Steve attacked him without thought or mercy, his hands clenched around the big man's throat, thumbs pressing into the Adam's apple and making his eyes bulge in their sockets. McGarrett kneed his enemy in the chest and a cloud of blood puffed squid-like into the water, blinding him temporarily but the blow did its job and as Mano lost much of his remaining breath, Dan was mercifully released from his would-be killer.

The Hawaiian, unsure where this new enemy had come from, reached out and tore the hook from Dan's back without ceremony and with vengeful anger slashed down the side of McGarrett's arm, adding the Five-0 Chief's own rich red to the tidal soup. As his attacker grabbed his wound and fought not to lose any of his precious air, Mano Kaika grinned, gurgled out a final perfect bubble and fell lazily back toward the ocean floor - satisfied – no life sentence for him just the knowledge he had brought these haole cops to their knees before giving himself up to lie safe in the arms of his beloved islands for all eternity - _may Koa and Ratchet forgive him. _He drowned seconds later, water rushing into his open mouth and expunging what was left of his pathetic life. His lifeless corpse fell through blue, bounced in slow motion against the rock and began to sink to the ocean floor accompanied by a shoal of tiny silver fish; no priest or prayer just the curious eyes of aquatic citizens to pilot his watery burial.

Severed from all ties, Danny too began to float away, arms and legs spread; a life-sized doll drifting to the depths, robe flowing about his bare loins and cushioned on his own blood. Desperately fighting the pain in his arm, Steve ignored the dead body and barely managed to grab Williams' cold fingers in a repeat of what happened on the boat. This time his grasp was true and he pulled his virtually lifeless friend back towards him. Glass-bead eyes faced him without acknowledgment and McGarrett felt like he had been stabbed in the soul.

How long they had been down there Steve neither knew, nor guessed, heavy hearted he held onto his precious cargo, pushed his feet off a boulder and launched them both toward the dark surface. Perhaps he was too late but he would never leave his friend to be torn apart by scavenging denizens of the deep. Mano they were welcome to, if he didn't poison any predator unlucky enough to feed on his murderous flesh. All that mattered right now was Danny.

'_Please be alive, please be alive – Danno stay with me…can't breathe…can't breathe…need air' _Steve's punctuated thoughts as he felt the world shift out of focus the closer he got to breath-hold breakpoint. There was too much water to overcome, he wasn't sure which way was up and which down, there was simply the overwhelming need for oxygen and pressure. Head pounding, arm throbbing, it was hopeless, his world was shattered and his overtaxed lungs about to explode. Almost losing grip of Williams brought McGarrett up short; realizing he was on the verge of blackout he deliberately calmed himself down, letting buoyancy do its job allowing him to follow the path of the small expendable bubbles. Like a trail of breadcrumbs he calmly made them his guide and gradually they reached the surface.

In the world above, scant minutes had gone past before one plucky young Coast Guard, breathing apparatus attached, was preparing to jump into the water to follow the path taken by the unfortunate Five-0 officers. He carried a spare tank and mask but a shout from Kono forestalled his leap after the concerned detective spotted McGarrett, burden in tow, breach the surface amidst a bubbling cauldron of frothing water.

It was a miracle the men hadn't drowned alongside whoever, or whatever, had dragged Williams overboard. Dumping his tanks, the brave volunteer took a dangerous leap off the side of the cutter and went to aid the struggling men in the water.

Gasping like a landed fish, Steve drew in bold lungfuls of fresh cool air, coughing and spluttering as water cascaded into his mouth from sopping hair. Shaking the wet bangs out of his eyes he was grateful beyond belief for the sky above, storm or no storm. He turned Danny's equally wet head toward him with shaking hands, no sign that Williams was alive except for a faint butterfly beat beneath the jawline that could very well have been Steve's own nerves. Trying not to think about how chillingly blue Dan's face was he held him tightly under the chin and floated him on his back, relief turning to despair once more when he met no resistance. McGarrett began to weep from exertion, adding yet more saline to his surrounds. His tears literal drops in the ocean should all his efforts now prove futile. They still had a way to go before reaching safety so, saying yet another prayer for the life of his partner, he began to swim one-armed toward the boats.

An accomplished sailor, Steve was all too aware of the dangers that lurked beneath his kicking feet; the shagreen leather monsters that glide past to take a weak or injured fish in the snap of a toothy maw. Sharks that can sense the death throes of a prospective meal; the brush of a wing on the surface or the smell of the tiniest molecule of blood in the water - just because he couldn't see them before didn't mean they weren't down there _now_, scything their hungry way toward them. He could almost feel the touch of a fin score across his socks - paranoid or not he had a sudden sense they needed to be out of the water – **fast**.

Something was coming towards them, dark against the shimmering surface and McGarrett dared to hope it was aid and not the broad and misshapen rudder of a primeval killing machine. If it was a sandbar shark or something equally lethal there was nothing he could do to protect himself or Danny, they were both as good as dead.

"_Stay away!"_ McGarrett said weakly and brushed the water, splashing the shape next to him that he couldn't quite focus on.

"Sir, it's okay, mister McGarrett I'm here to help you! Don't struggle. _Please_."

Someone had answered his prayers, "_Help_? Help Williams…take..take Danno."

He was so utterly depleted that he hardly felt his burden lifted from him, nor understood they were almost saved as a fresh-faced youngster took over and helped them both the remains of the way to the vessel.

His legs kicked erratically as he fought to keep going and thought he had never seen a more welcome sight than the reassuring bulk of the hull as they finally swam alongside the imposing Cutter. He grasped onto a rope ladder with one hand then for some reason stole a look behind him and was shocked to see not one but **three** fins slicing their way towards Williams who was still partially in the water with the Coast Guard officer. Shouts were heard from above, they had too had seen the predators and all haste was made to ensure that no limb was left dangling as fish hors d'oeuvres. "Boss, _quick_!" Urging hands reached towards him, including Kono's and from there Steve hardly knew how he got back on board, relief pushing reality from his mind as he fell into a shocked limbo.

*******

In the aftermath of the rescue every hand was on deck, watching the proceedings as the same man who had dived to reach them began working on Danny's cold body. The threatened rain would soon begin and the gloom added to the funereal atmosphere as they laid Williams on deck and tried to resuscitate him. Steve wanted to do it himself but was restrained by a pale-looking Kono who insisted on wrapping him in blankets and trying to stem the flow of blood from his wounded arm, he hadn't realized up to that point how exhausted he truly was and it was all he could do to stop himself from sinking sideways onto the wet floor and closing his eyes. He was so _tired_.

No one spoke or let their gaze fall from the unmoving body, they simply stood around the scene with crossed arms and worried frowns. McGarrett knew the chances of survival for a drowning victim were slim, he harbored no belief that artificial respiration would work, he simply held on to faint hope as his lifeline as they cleared his friend's airway. All he kept thinking of was Danno's empty eyes which thankfully were now closed…the cold, fish-like stare…

McGarrett must have drifted briefly for the next thing he heard was the tell-tale sound of a man being sick. He never meant to break his vigil but as he blinked his eyes open he was in time to witness his friend; back bleeding, broken toed, half-naked, wracked with coughs leaning over sideways as a good part of the ocean poured up from his abused stomach onto the deck. He was alive!

To Steve it was the most beautiful sound in the world – the sound of a life saved - the relief was so great he began laughing, the noise so ridiculously loud that the Captain of the ship contemplated slapping him out of his hysteria.

All eyes turned to him as though he had gone stark raving mad.

They didn't understand - none of them did; Danny was back from the dead and he was finally _safe_.

********


	27. Home From Home

A/N: Thanks again to all of you readers and reviewers, especially those I can't reply to in person- another `mahalo' for keeping faith with such a long and often disturbing story! Hope you are enjoying it. MM

CHAPTER 27 – Home From Home

"There's only so much we can do - we need to get him to hospital _urgently_!"

Anxious words from an unknown source that Danny barely heard beneath the sound of an agonized groan he claimed as his own. The taste of salt and sick in his mouth was unbearable. He tried to sit up but felt pressure on his shoulder anchoring him to what he assumed was the deck of a boat, he _needed _to move, even lying on the side, his back was exceedingly painful. Unsure what had transpired but knowing he had almost died, his only thought was to rid himself of pain before he passed out. He pressed a trembling hand to the damp deck and pushed feebly against it to no avail.

"_Up_..," he coughed, "_Up_..!"

Roused from his lassitude by Danny's voice, McGarrett immediately knew why his friend was pleading, "Get him up, his back is injured, he's in pain!" Groaning himself, he made it to unsteady feet and, holding his throbbing arm, stumbled to his friend's side, almost slipping on the wet surface as he knelt next to Williams and moved the man's savior out of the way with a firm but heartfelt "Thank you".

"It's okay Danno," he offered reassuringly before throwing dagger-like looks at the assembled, "Can't you stand back and let him breathe? For God's sake give the man some room! And get something to stop this bleeding!" He growled, unhappy that his officer was being treated with all the curiosity of a landed merman. Thankfully Kono appeared, seemingly out of nowhere, having retrieved an oilskin and blanket. He gently covered Danny's torso and legs before he and Steve tried lifting the injured man to a semi-sitting position to take a look at the damage. As McGarrett's hand reached underneath his friend he felt sticky wetness and brought it out to look, no stranger to blood it nevertheless made his stomach churn to see the sheer amount of it covering him like a red glove. As fat droplets of rain plummeted down the scarlet began washing away; clear water parting the red sea.

"It hurts." Danny offered simply, gritting his teeth against the pain; throat raw from misuse.

McGarrett carefully peeled off the remains of the ruined robe and pajama top, easing them over the sodden plaster cast then tucked the partially dry blanket further around Williams' naked and shivering body. "Dammit Danno how did it get to this?!" Steve said quietly; angry not with his colleague but with the events leading up to this moment. He never expected an answer, nor received one.

Having revealed the damage from the hook someone behind him gasped. Until now no one but Steve knew about the jagged hole in the man's back. When they lifted Williams on board the crew barely saw the blood mingling with brine on deck - they were too busy trying to bring him back from near drowning. No one had given a thought to any other injuries he may have sustained and as a consequence he was still bleeding profusely.

"You're one big mess bruddah! Why you go swim with da fishies anyway eh Danny?" Kono asked as he accepted a boiled towel from someone and pushed it firmly onto the wound. He tried to brighten his friend's mood but a gasp from Williams as he touched the damaged skin made him drop the attempted levity and a frown replaced it.

Steve cradled Williams' head against his chest as he slipped behind him, legs protectively unfolding either side of his body, and took over pressure on the makeshift bandage with one hand before feeling Danny's cheeks and forehead with the other. He was too hot considering he'd just taken a dip in the ocean and McGarrett was worried about him being exposed too long to the elements. "Kono, make sure Doc Bergman is waiting at the hospital, let him know what he could be dealing with would you?" His voice was lowered just enough for Kalakua to hear.

The broad-chested Hawaiian nodded, understanding the hidden comment. Steve wanted Doc to know that Danny may have been assaulted again but no one else. "Sure thing boss. We need a bird _wiki-wiki_?"

McGarrett looked upside-down at his friend's half-closed eyes framed by the wet ringlets plastered against his head and in a caring tone reserved only for Williams he asked, "Hey kiddo, are you with me? You think you'll be okay for a while?"

A tired nod was Dan's reply and Steve squeezed his shoulder, leaving a pink-tinged impression on the parchment skin, "Good man, you just take it easy and we'll get you comfortable in no time." To Kalakua he added, "I think we'll be just as fast if the Captain keeps up this pace, it'll take time to get a chopper in the air. Just make sure Chin has that ambulance standing by. We need to leave someone with the other boat too."

As Kono went to make the radio calls, cold fingers gripped McGarrett's shirt as Dan weakly checked out the torn and bloody garment. "You're hurt." He said anxiously, hardly aware of his surroundings, just the comforting touch of his boss' body pressed against his.

Corresponding fingers closed over his, as Steve reassured him, "Nothing that Doc can't fix, don't you worry about me it's just a scrape."

"_Good_." He pushed his head further back onto Steve's chest attempting, but failing, to find some comfort there.

McGarrett smiled and raised an eyebrow, touched by the concern. "Close call, close call."

"Did we get them? Listen Steve I..._oh_!!" Whatever he was about to say was swallowed by the pulsing pain that hit Danny like a mail train and he curled his legs up automatically, tortured toe catching the side of the blanket. He couldn't help but release an anguished moan from blue-tinged lips. Heavier spots of rain water dribbled into his mouth and McGarrett held onto him as best he could whilst he choked and spluttered and rode out his suffering.

Face screwed in sympathy, jaw clenching and un-clenching with a thousand different emotions, Steve looked over to where the retrieved and wrapped body of Ray Kaika lay. He replied in a clenched whisper, "Yeah Danno, we got them. They can't hurt you now." The sky chose that precise moment to wash away his sorrow with a renewed deluge, beating on the deck with the sound of two thousand sticks on a thousand tin drums. "Let's get inside!" Steve urged as they were soaked once more.

As McGarrett and a tall yellow-haired officer helped Williams to his feet, they performed a conjuring trick by managing to secure the blanket around him, cover his head and shoulders with the oilskin and maintain pressure on the gaping wound at the same time. Danny's legs were like Jello and he sagged against an equally shaky McGarrett, causing Steve to wince as the shorter man brushed against his own injury. "Can you make it Danno?" the Five-0 Chief said in his ear as they made inch-by-inch progress toward cover.

"Think so." Came the non-reassuring response.

To his boss, Williams felt as fragile as etched porcelain, skin like wet paper in his grasp and the concern to get a medical opinion was almost overwhelming. Brave as he was, it was obvious that he was weak from abuse, trauma and now blood loss; whilst the Coast Guard were equipped with the basics McGarrett would only be satisfied once his charge was back in a hospital bed – preferably stitched, medicated and asleep. He swore to himself not to leave the frail man until he was well again but then rescinded the promise, knowing that realistically his responsibilities at Five-0 came first. The weeks since Danny's abduction had worn him down, his duties to both Williams and the office taking a heavy toll on his energy levels. All he wanted was his world to be set right; for Dan to be well again with memory restored and the daily mundane routine at the Palace back in place.

He wanted this _over_.

With some difficulty, they managed to ease the wounded officer over a door ledge and practically swept him off his feet the last few yards to a convenient resting place inside. First aid was applied, bandages wrapped as best they could over and around Danny's back, leg and chest wounds, the latter two hardly bleeding now. They didn't dare try to set his fractured toe, leaving that instead to the experts.

Williams was desperate to rest but it was hard - unable to lie down without extreme discomfort, he ended up wrapped like a Mummy and propped between his fellow officers, warm head resting on Kono's meaty shoulder and looking sicker by the minute.

"You make those calls?" Steve asked softly as Williams drifted feverishly between sleep and wakefulness.

Kalakua looked down at his friend's damp curls and back up at McGarrett, "Doc knows." He said sadly.

Dan was like a ravaged pea in a very strange pod, sandwiched between two staunch and very concerned cops. These steely individuals were family and they cared about him a great deal. If he had been cognizant he would have been touched and more than a little embarrassed by their concern. As it was he had gradually passed from the realm of semi-consciousness into an unhappy fevered unconsciousness, his whole body going limp.

Steve caught him as he fell.

********

Landfall was swift, swifter still was the transfer from boat to ambulance, Steve the only other patient in the low-ceilinged vehicle as they bumped over the roads and practically flew to Queen's Hospital with a police escort.

Danny never woke up which had McGarrett stoically terrified, he tried not to let it show on the outside, just like he had tried and failed before when they found Williams after he had been shot. In order to preserve every one else's balance he fought to remember the teachings of the ancient philosopher Zeno but it was one thing to steel your sensibilities so that life could hurt you as little as possible but quite another to master control of your emotions and gain peace by remaining indifferent to suffering; in that he felt the Greek was wrong. He couldn't just ignore the pain, nor the pleasure of having his friend healthy and at his side. He _was_ deeply moved by grief and joy but neither could he break down completely – when the world was a seemingly chaotic and fragile space to live in, McGarrett tried to preserve order and to do that he held much of what he was feeling inside. In that he was different to his friend, lying gravely ill on the gurney before him; Dan's emotions were a thing to behold and for that Steve was grateful, just as he was grateful for the steady breathing that he couldn't break away from watching as they raced through the streets of Honolulu. The younger officer had helped him understand what it was to be a fragile human being and he valued the lesson.

True to his word Doctor Bergman was waiting for them when they arrived at Queens, his face creased into a remarkable copy of Samuel Beckett's famously crinkled visage. Warring eyebrows knotting in concern and chewing on a thin bottom lip he opened the door, rushing forth to greet them. Together he and poker-faced hospital staff dealt with the incoming wounded - both stretchered and walking.

Doc said nothing to McGarrett, just issuing the basic commands of his job as they rolled down the scuffed and polished linoleum toward the emergency room. In truth the Five-0 boss wasn't sure he himself could utter one single word, so shattered was he from the events leading up to their arrival. He was light-headed from loss of blood and an impromptu dive and when he slouched against a nearby wall Bergman ushered him to a vacant gurney just outside the ER doors.

"I'll get someone to look at that arm Steve, you stay here and don't pass out on me or you'll cause an obstruction."

"Just look after Danno will you?" McGarrett said exhaustedly as he slouched on the makeshift seat.

"Trust me I will. I have a good team, don't you worry, we will have him back to his former state in no time!"

"That's what I'm worried about." McGarrett said lightly, the stress of the day bringing on a shadow of his former pseudo-hysteria.

"We'll cross that particular bridge when we get to it, for now just relax and let us take care of things."

_`Easier said than done.'_ McGarrett thought as the M.E. patted him on the shoulder without condescension and walked away.

********

Over the past weeks it was the same scenario repeated a dozen times over; like being in a movie theater watching the main feature play and re-play with just the occasional interval. With the exception of the sutures to his own arm, McGarrett had lived through the waiting, sights, smells – even the reassurances – over and over. The hospital had become an unwanted home-from-home and he loathed it.

For a man used to action, the mere fact that he was stuck pacing, sitting or brooding did his temper no good at all and when the expected news of Williams' condition arrived he was already in short humor.

"Don't get up Steve." Bergman said as he finally tracked down the elusive detective sitting on his own in a corridor adjacent to the one in which he was left. McGarrett was clutching his arm, whether in pain or frustration Doc couldn't tell.

Steve rose regardless, dwarfing the smaller man with both his height and persona. He frowned, "I feel like I've asked this question a thousand times before Doc - how is he?"

"Danny has a lot to be grateful for but he's not out of the woods. The back injury missed his spine by about an inch but it was close, there's some muscle damage and he lost a lot of blood but nothing that won't heal in time. Then there are the existing injuries which have of course been strained, including his fractured wrist which has been re-plastered - _again_! His toe is splinted to stabilize it but thankfully no more breaks. He's running a temperature, we've checked his lungs and whilst there is no sign of water in them there is still a slight risk of secondary drowning and infection of course."

`Secondary drowning' - McGarrett had heard of the term only recently; a young child rescued off Waikiki had drowned in his own bed just hours later from water inhaled during the struggle. A very unpleasant way to die. He shuddered as the doctor continued, "You ought to take better care of your staff, I don't know and don't care to know what happened out there but he's been through the mill again - in more ways than one!"

Steve's heart began hammering in his chest. "Meaning?"

Bergman took a deep breath, "Meaning that, as Kono requested, I examined him after he was sedated, and you were right – Danny has been sexually assaulted again. No major tearing, just spotting this time from the healing scars and although there wasn't much evidence left I've done a rape kit which I can get over to the lab for you shortly."

The detective sat down with a sigh, "No need Doc – no one is going to court this time - they're both dead."

"_Oh_…oh I see." Bergman's turn to lean on the wall this time. Only able to imagine what might have taken place he went quiet.

Moments passed as the two were locked in their own thoughts before Steve broke the silence with passion, "I'm not sorry; after what they did to Danno the scum deserved it!"

Bergman looked thoughtful, "Well I can't say I disagree with you, they put a good man through Hell."

"Has he said anything? Did he say if he recalled anything from before?"

Bergman shook his head, "No, he's far too out of it at the moment, he came round just as we wheeled him in but was completely silent, I'm not sure if that's because of the shock or something else but we're keeping an eye on him. If he is still suffering from amnesia we'll know soon."

"When can I see him?" McGarrett asked with just a hint of desperation in the tone. Stoicism be damned, he was weakening.

"Not just yet, he needs a lot of rest, as do you! Come back later Steve, you've been through so much that a few more hours isn't going to make any difference – he's not critical but we will watch him for any complications."

"Five minutes? I promise I won't disturb him, it's just…" he trailed off, not sure if he could put into words what he felt.

"If I didn't know you better McGarrett I'd say you were begging."

Steve bristled at that and his spine straightened, "I don't beg _Doctor_ but I am asking – as a friend. Will you let me see him, then I promise to go home and change before I come back."

"…and eat, and sleep…"

"If that's what it takes then, yes."

"Okay, just a few minutes then I don't want to hear your voice or see that square jaw of yours until at least tomorrow morning, fair enough?"

"Understood."

*******

Steve leaned on the door frame to the room, always surprised at how little he got used to waiting at Williams' bedside considering the amount he did of it. He was loathed to disturb the atmosphere of peace hanging over the tranquil form in the bed. It was so quiet he could swear he heard the steady drip of fluids into the IV line.

Danny lay on his side, propped up by pillows to support him. His face was as pale as his plaster cast but his breathing was regular and that in itself was a blessing to McGarrett. The fact that he was under the watchful eye of an Officer who had been posted to his door was another. It reassured Steve that his friend wasn't going anywhere without his knowledge – no more fugues or foes on his watch.

For a few moments he simply listened to the steady breathing, unconsciously timing his own breaths to Dan's. _In…out…in…out…in…out…_it was mesmerizing and he would happily have stayed there for hours just sharing the same air and waiting for him to wake up but he couldn't. Still in the clothing he had gone into the ocean wearing, McGarrett felt uncomfortable and dirty by comparison to the clinical surroundings so reluctantly left Williams to his healing sleep and planned to return when he had a chance to feel more like the working man he used to be and less like the grieving relative he had become.

"I will come back soon Danno." He offered as a parting gift and having ascertained his friend was well away from the threshold of death's portal, turned on his heel, closing the door behind him and thereby reneging on his recently-made pledge to stay by his brother officer's side.

Behind him Danny never stirred.

*********

Dreams are rarely recalled for long; nightmares a fleeting film in the night, the camera rolling at impossible angles with improbable scenarios all cut together by a mad director with bizarre tastes. The actors in these plays swap heads, clothing, rooms, morals and identities with a speed that would shame the snap of a Genie's fingers.

The necessary downloading of the day's activities takes place in the twilight, forming and re-forming into colored or colorless scenes that either delight of frighten.

Recalled or not, at the time of their inception there are very real indeed to the dreamer of dreams.

Heart pumping, sweat oozing from pores to dampen the cotton sheets beneath him, Steve McGarrett tossed and turned, twisting the bedding around his long legs so tightly he could hardly move at all. Still he kicked out, jabbing an imaginary knee into a conjured adversary or a foot into a fantasy enemy.

In his mind he was fighting for his life; one minute he was Dan Williams, the next he was himself. He was surrounded and terrified – faces leered at him from dark corners, magnifying until they filled his vision with olive skin, black hair and teeth so predatory they terrified him. Someone spat on his police badge – there was the sound of laughter and an intense pain in his back. He couldn't move, suffocating with the press of flesh on flesh as hands roved up and down his body. When they bound his hands he became Danny, seen now from a distance tied to a scuffed table in the center of a shadowy room that swayed like a boat on water. The young detective was bathed in a shifting pool of light and for some strange reason he was struggling to recall the colors of the rainbow using the word `blood' instead of `red'. Each time he stalled on a color he went back to the start in a monotone voice.

He was losing his mind.

An older version of a skinny Sam Baxter pleaded with him to stop but Williams continued - defiant and distant. Fists appeared out of nowhere crashing down on the vulnerable man until even his cries of agony stopped. McGarrett's mind turned away from the vision before him, he wanted to retreat from seeing the beating Williams received as a consequence of his non-cooperation but was too scared to look away for fear it might turn back to being him. He became transfixed as the table transformed into a wooden bunk and bodies swarmed over the bruised man, eagerly tearing at Danny's clothing and pawing his nakedness. Baxter ran away, morphing back into a boy from the adult he had become and sobbing as he went.

The sleeping detective heard the anguished cries of a man in torment as they took from Williams what they wanted. The echoing grunts stayed long after they were done and his friend lay abused and dying. In his nightmare, Steve tried to move - to _help_ - but was held to the spot by an anchor tied to his feet, weighing him down in unfeasible sand. He tried shouting but bubbles rose from his mouth and he inhaled liquid, the air around him now bottomless blue ocean. Sharks circled now, six soulless orbs reflecting nothing as their owners swam in death's dance.

In one almighty surge the water drained upwards, rushing past his face into an invisible faucet until he was left free on dry land, with the violated corpse of his Second-in-Command next to him, glassy eyes staring accusingly at the sky and a large rat sitting on his stomach.

'_Why didn't you find me?'_ Danno's ghostly voice died on the breeze as his disembodied face floated in front of McGarrett's before drifting up toward bulging purple thunderclouds pregnant with rain. As Steve reached out he was too late and Dan Williams was gone, swallowed in seconds and lost forever. The rain began falling.

'_Danno come back!'_

_A gigantic curved boat hook swung towards his face…._

McGarrett awoke with a start, sitting bolt upright, hands grasping at nothing but molecules of oxygen, panting out, "_Oh Jesus Christ! Danno…"_ Instantly the visions faded, all that remained was the thumping pressure of blood soaring through his veins and the vague impression that he needed to be somewhere else. He also knew the nightmare had been based on reality and who it had been about. Perspiration froze on his skin and he clutched the bed clothing before tucking it up around his shoulders trying to push away the cold with little success as he rocked back and forth, "Just a dream…just a dream…oh God…I'm so sorry.."

Too many nightmares, he was starting to wonder if he needed to talk to someone about it but dismissed that thought as easily as it had come, he would survive – he always did.

As reason and reality overcame his night terrors Steve concluded it was early morning, light was just creeping between the curtains in a thin gray line. He had slept far later than he had intended and instantly felt irritated with himself. He had some serious catching up to do in the office before visiting Danny. As he shoved aside the bedding, his arm began throbbing mercilessly and he groaned, resolving to resort to the painkillers that had been pushed into his palm before he left the hospital.

Just then the telephone rang and, gritting his teeth against the pain, he picked it up with a shaky hand and answered, his voice less certain than he would have liked, "McGarrett."

It was a woman's voice at the end of the line, a stranger, "Mister McGarrett, I am sorry to disturb you so early in the morning. I'm calling from Queen's Hospital, Doctor Bergman left instructions that you should be informed when Mister Williams' was awake."

Work considerations and guilt-laden dreams moved to the furthest corner of his mind, "I'll be there as soon as I can!" he replied with undisguised excitement – and he meant it.

********


	28. Ignorance Was Bliss

MV Chapter 28 – Ignorance _Was_ Bliss

The undulating surface of boiled linen beneath his whiskered cheek was a minor work of art; bleached white and bland in itself, tiny twisted strands criss-crossed the material in such numbers that even a close inspection such as his couldn't produce anything but a rough guess as to their amount. Perhaps a hundred in one square inch lay before his gaze, not bad for hospital quality bedding – unlike the food on offer which would have benefited from more substance.

With nothing better to do than to lie there staring at walls or his pillow, Danny had no other option but to study the minutiae of his surroundings – it was that or delve into the murky waters of his memory and that was not something he was prepared to explore. If he looked really hard he could just make out tiny raised bumps that were imperfections in the weave. It became important to him; a challenge to concentrate hard on nothing rather than allow the throbbing pain throughout his body to take hold. The medication he was on helped there, ensuring that a soft cloud enveloped him, but it wasn't enough to obliterate the agony cruising silently beneath the analgesic. Every now and then it knocked on the door of his mind and asked to be let in – and along with it came the things he dreaded most; the recollections of how it all came to be.

Danny understood that his refusal to witness his own suffering was a form of protection; he knew now that it had caused him to stay lost in a coma for some time too – it wasn't like he could _help_ the amnesia – it was a shield to keep the boy inside him safe. As an adult he knew the value of protection but since no gun could save him from his own mind the only other choice was refusal to acknowledge the images that came unbidden to him. He could see them like a child in a darkened room with one window to the moonlit world. There were things in the night, shadows outside the window, that scratched at the glass and begged to be let in. They hissed at the scared part of him and gibbered in the wind. He wanted them to stop so he _made_ them. By not going over the events from the fateful morning, or the kidnapping on the boat, he could quite simply stop thinking about it. If he did he would break and he didn't think he would stop until the tears drowned him as effectively as the ocean almost had.

So here he was, morning had broken like the song says and he hadn't a clue what was going on in the real world; all he knew was pain, starch, pungent Lysol, needles, bruises and a mouth so sore and scratchy that he could have sanded down wood with it. He was boiling, then freezing cold and meds or no meds he had a great _big_ headache.

The room wasn't the same one he had left the day before; that one was lined with greetings and flowers, which previously meant nothing to him, just strange names on pieces of colored paper decorating the blandness. He recalled it was the room in which he said something hurtful to his friend - Steve McGarrett - the man he had forgotten, just like the people whose signatures graced the well-meaning cards. Even knowing that made him feel ashamed, like he ought not to hide but face it all; the good times and the bad, for Steve's sake.

Instead he went back to studying the creases on the pillow and tried to stop shivering.

As he drifted on boredom, the door opened softly and Danny heard footfalls on the flooring. Back turned to the intruder, he lay trapped on his side and became increasingly panicked, the shivering turning unconsciously to shaking. Just the feeling of being vulnerable, unable to see who was coming up behind him made his heart thump faster and faster. "Who's there?" he demanded with a croak, "_Who is it_?!"

He tried to turn but the abrupt shift on a hard mattress caused the damaged muscles in his back to spasm and he moaned loudly as the stitching between his shoulder blades moved. When he felt a man's hand on his shoulder he almost leaped from the bed but was gripped firmly before he could roll off.

"Hush Danny it's okay, it's just myself and Nurse Kakahi."

"_Doc_?"

"Yes, there's no one else, you're perfectly safe."

"Oh." Williams wasn't quite sure what to make of that reply, it was as though Bergman could read his mind and that made him feel more uncomfortable than the hook in his back had. His eyelids were suddenly very heavy and there was an invisible weight pressing down on his soul to match them.

"Welcome back young man. How about we turn you over so I can get a good look at my handiwork eh?"

Dan wasn't given the chance to either agree or disagree before the bed covers were pulled down and strong hands carefully shifted him onto his stomach, taking into account his aches and breaks. He felt like a piece of meat being turned on a skewer. When Bergman opened up the gown and exposed his weeping back he openly flinched and heard a sympathetic sigh from the Medical Examiner.

Cold fingers probed at the damaged flesh and Williams screwed his eyes tightly shut and concentrated on imagining miles and miles of plain bleached pillow cases laid end to end with threads running this way and that across the landscape, it was much easier than being in the same room with a man who was touching him – trusted doctor or not! His own fingers gripped the bed clothes, knuckles blanching white as the blood drained from them leaving gristle hills in his fists. The irony of being touched by a coroner, more used to dealing with corpses didn't escape him either, he felt like he had died and had come back on borrowed time.

"There is some infection I'm afraid, understandable under the circumstances, but the antibiotics should help. I'll take your temperature in just a moment. That wound was a mess but you shouldn't have too much scarring, I think we did a pretty good job of stitching you up after `Captain Hook' had a go at you!"

Bergman heard a sharp intake of breath followed by an inhaled sob. His attempted, but insensitive, humor struck precisely the wrong nerve and he suddenly felt mortified he hadn't been more careful in his choice of words.

Cleaning the wound and fixing a new dressing swiftly in place, his only concern now was for his young friend and colleague who, overwhelmed with the open portal to his emotions, was weeping silently, mouth wetting the pillow with strings of saliva. "Thank you nurse, we'll do the rest later. I'll stay with him for a while."

The pretty young Hawaiian woman smiled sympathetically and took away the discarded bandages. Bergman waited until she had closed the door behind her before putting one hand on the bed head and taking a deep breath, "Danny listen to me." He began carefully, "I know what happened to you - in part anyway. I am your doctor and it's my job to solve mysteries of the body the same way you and Steve solve crimes, I followed the evidence so I understand what happened to you was a dreadful act, but we know _none_ of it was your fault.

I'm not a psychiatrist, I'm just a coroner with some very stubborn living clients and although it's my job to see to my patient's physical wellbeing, I like to think part of that duty is to your mental health too. Would it help to talk about what you remember, in confidence of course?"

When no response was forthcoming he pulled a chair up level with Williams' head and leaned forward. "I can tell you only a few people know about the assault on the boat, only those who needed to in order to aid you. There is no shame in it, we only want to help you recover. Trust us to help you…"

"What…what about before?" Danny managed between sobs.

Bergman was taken aback, "Before? You mean..?"

Before he could continue, Danny turned his tear-stained and red eyed face to him and answered the half-posed question with one of his own, an unnecessary question by all accounts and one that deep down Dan knew was self-pitying but he couldn't help asking, "Why _me_?"

Doc shook his head sadly, "Oh my friend, that I can't answer! I don't know enough about what happened to be a judge. I know that your Officer Kimo was mortified when that man took you from right under his nose, I don't think he will forgive himself for a very long time but despite the personal aspect to it McGarrett says it's the badge, not you. I don't have to tell you that bad men hate police do I? But tell me truthfully Danny – how far back do you recall now?"

The face turned back to the pillow, shattered emotionally and physically Dan blurted out, "All of it. I remember _all of it_, every _single_ second and I wish to God I could rip the memories out and burn them," before the tears began again.

A reassuring hand gripped his unbroken one and squeezed it tightly, "It's okay son, you let it out. We'll be here for you, I promise."

Doctor Bergman sat with his patient, holding his hand until the crying turned to muffled gasps and eventually died out as exhaustion stole the detective away to sleep, then he tied the robe back up, tucked the spare pillows comfortably around Danny and pulled the blankets up over his fatigued and chilled body. Even though he knew there was no way he could be heard he looked at the curly haired younger man and with heartfelt sympathy said, "I am so sorry."

******

Whilst Dan lay in his confused and drugged slumber, across Honolulu others were most assuredly awake. Plans were being made, promises kept and former secrets about to become public.

Lupe Tanilofa cruised the open exercise area of Halawa Prison like he owned it, his thoughts as cold and slow moving as a glacier, and just as destructive underneath.

Strutting purposefully, he lit a cigarette and went over to the fence line to stare at freedom just out of reach. Tossing the match over his shoulder, he spat out a stray strand of tobacco and idly began digging the heel of his shoe into the compacted earth. Meaty fingers laced through the wire as he puffed lazily on the nicotine stick; a sardonic smile painting his lips. He was thinking of things to come.

He had just finished a very interesting conversation with a fellow prisoner who hung on his every word as he described the way he and the others had brought McGarrett's haole pup to heel causing mayhem within the Five-0 unit as a consequence. It appeared as though more people hated McGarrett and Williams than he could ever have suspected. All he, the Kaikas, Lukina and Baxter knew when the man had stumbled into their den was that he was a cop, now it seemed as though he was not just any fuzz but one whose name polarized opinion inside the prison. They either hated him, or they loathed him. Of course there were always one or two idiots who believed that Dan Williams was fair in his dealings with them, but not many of them spoke up in front of Lupe. They didn't dare.

Warned by the prison officers that his big mouth might get him into trouble, he still shot it off to anyone who would hear the story of how he almost topped a cop, which wasn't strictly true considering he had no actual hand in the shooting of Officer Williams, but that didn't matter to Tanilofa, he still reveled in the praise and now he was about to reap the rewards. As payback for his hatred of police and Williams in particular, the contact offered him freedom - the kind he was now staring at in the far distance. Freedom and the chance to get off the Island and back to his native Samoa, which wasn't such a good thing but it would help keep the heat off his back until they stopped looking for him. Then he could return and when he did there was a growing list of people to `visit' – Sammie Baxter's name graced the top of it closely followed by Williams, both of whom deserved _special_ treatment.

The broad shouldered and bull-headed criminal was biding his time until his lawyer could get him to court, they were waiting on Williams to be well enough to testify but both of them knew what the outcome would be with such damning testimonies from him and the boy. The charges had been laid and unless a miracle happened there was no denying them. He had done some very bad things in the eyes of the law and there would be no way out except by escaping. The news that someone on the inside would grease the way was music to his tone-deaf ears. He was happy.

Taking one last puff, he dropped the butt end and pressed down with his toes, obliterating the embers in the dust. He hawked back some phlegm, thrust his hands in his pockets and strolled back past the hoops where a few similar detainees were enjoying the morning sunshine. As he got close to the benches, intent on watching the basketball for a few minutes, the gates opened and inexplicably a couple of inmates from general population began strolling into the yard. Aware that his purgatory status meant he was normally segregated from the rest of the prison fraternity he wondered why they were there. There had been no PA announcement signaling the end of their break but others with him had also noticed, becoming openly uncomfortable, dropping the ball and edging back toward the building and away from a possible surge of convicted felons.

Lupe decided to go with them and as he reached the door even more began pouring noisily into the open, like salt through a funnel. He found himself pressed and jostled like a salmon swimming against the stream and several unknown faces formed a barrier of muscle around him, from that moment he could move neither forward nor back without the ring of bodies moving with him. In the confusion he was unable to see any guards and that began to alarm him even more. There was definitely something wrong. He had enough experience of life inside to know when there was a set up, and this time he was in _real_ trouble. Why didn't the prison officers come to help him?

Scared, he began to fight with fists and feet. No one said anything; they simply dodged and countered all blows, mocking him as they allowed him to wear himself out. Taunting him, two of the men finally grabbed him and held him wriggling in their grasp. He tried to shout for help and got punched in the mouth for his pains, blood trickled from the split. Now he was terrified. Why didn't someone stop it?

A tall, bookish looking individual with dark-rimmed glasses and long hair pushed through to stand in front of him, something glinted in his hand and Lupe knew it was a weapon.

"Please don't! _**Don't**_! Why me? What have I done?" he pleaded.

The man with the glasses sneered at him and shrugged his shoulders, "You were warned not to shoot your mouth off. Hold him still."

"NO!" Hard fingers gripped his head and he was pushed to his knees as firmly as the discarded cigarette was beneath his heel. His eyes were transfixed as the chilling man leaned toward him and whispered "Hush now, or we'll take this someplace else and do to you what you did to the cop!"

Lupe couldn't believe it was happening to him, all he did was violate a pig. "NO PLEASE!"

"Too late." The swoop of the hand as it lunged toward him was silent, the threshing took seconds and death was almost instantaneous.

The whole incident took place in the space of a few brief moments, the crowd dispersed to the wire and order replaced chaos as though nothing had happened, all was quiet except for the shouts of the guards ordering lock down as they rushed toward the limp form crumpled on the ground. Sticking out of Tanilofa's left ear was a shining pair of scissors glinting in the Hawaiian sunlight.

*****

"Steve! _Steve_!"

Cradling his sore arm, McGarrett turned around at the sound of his name and saw Chin Ho's bulk moving hastily down the corridor to meet him. Eager to see Danny, he had hardly got twenty feet into the hospital reception before being accosted by his subordinate.

"Sorry boss, couldn't get hold of you on the radio or at home so I figured you'd be on your way here."

"What's so urgent Chin?"

"Lupe Tanilofa Steve – he's been murdered. Thought you'd want to know right away."

At the sound of the Samoan's name McGarrett's guts churned. "How did it happen?"

"This morning, prison exercise yard, someone shoved a pair of scissors into his ear; nasty, but effective."

Steve was fairly sure he knew the answer to his next question, "Do they know who did it?"

Chin shook his head, "No. A dozen witnesses - apparently all minding their own business!"

"Well, well, no surprise there then. At least we have a finite list of suspects. What about a motive?"

"According to HPD some of the guards said he was mouthing off…"

"..about Danno." Steve continued flatly and Chin nodded. "_Damn_! As if we don't have enough problems to worry about!"

"You think someone did this because of Danny?"

Steve ran a hand over his face, unconsciously noting a poor job of one-handed shaving as he did so, "I hope not but we won't know until we investigate further. Something smells very wrong with this. I want to know everything, who he was talking to, his movements, anything the guards overheard – the works."

"You want me to get over there right away?"

"Yeah Chin, see what you can come up with but tread softly will you? I don't want to cause any more ripples in this particular pond. I wanted him to get his just desserts so badly I could taste it but _this_ - this is not how it should have happened!"

Kelly hovered for a moment, "How's Danny? I tried to see him last night but they wouldn't let me."

"No one could, he was pretty bad. I'm just on my way to see him, apparently he's conscious but I won't know any more until I've spoken to Doc."

"I'll come by later. You doing okay?" Chin added noting how pale his boss looked.

"I'm fine, just some stitches."

Kelly shook his head, "Nasty business. Kono told me what happened. Can't say I'm sorry they're dead, we nearly lost you both by all accounts."

"An exaggeration but put it this way; it will be a long time before I go swimming again."

"I can believe it bruddah. Well I best be getting off, tell Danny _aloha_ from me."

Steve nodded, Chin turned tail and left.

The tired senior detective stood in the middle of the hallway, temporarily halted in his journey by ugly thoughts. Lupe Tanilofa was no more. McGarrett recalled the look of pleasure on the man's face when he was being interrogated and the disgustingly lewd comments about Danno; `_I screwed your sidekick_.' He also remembered telling Tanilofa he would like to see him hang, and he meant it – then and now. Despite what he said to Kelly, part of him felt cheated by the Samoan's death, as though he would never be able to lay this particular ghost to rest because justice hadn't been served. Or perhaps it had – justice of a higher kind; since all of Williams' assailants were gone, all barring the kid, Baxter, and he was pretty sure the young man had no part in the rapes or attempted murder, just auto theft.

He was deeply unsatisfied with the outcome but had to admit to himself this way was cleaner for his friend. Too much had happened to his 2-I-C, he needed some luck to change all that, perhaps this was the turning point.

*****

Doctor David Forbes had just finished his examination of Dan's new set of X-rays and was relieved to see no further damage to his skull from the rough treatment he had received in the last day. After Williams' collision with a car and the continual headaches there was some concern there would be more trauma to his existing condition.

Flipping the switch on the light box to _off_ he turned to his colleague, "Well Harry, looks like this is where I said _adios_! I don't think this young man is in further need of my specialist care, what I believe he requires now is a great deal of rest whilst his wounds heal and, if it's true that the amnesia has gone, someone to guide him back to his former life. There are some very good counselors I can recommend privately if his department can afford them. Unfortunately no one deals specifically in this kind of abuse but they still may be able to help him."

"Thanks David, I'll mention that to McGarrett but I doubt he will take kindly to any suggestions that his friend needs outside help."

"Well then he's a silly fellow, there is a lot to unravel in the boy's mind and he needs as much care taken of **that** as he does his body. But then it's not up to me and I know how stubborn McGarrett can be. I just hope he does the right thing for Williams' sake."

"Would you care to tell him that yourself? I'm sure he will be here any minute." Bergman asked with a cock of his head and a smile.

"_Oh no_, you're the diplomat Harry, not me! I'm no good at that."

"Coward." The M.E. mumbled under his breath.

Forbes laughed, "Well you maybe right, and now I am off to see some of my more serious cases. I will look in on Dan sometime in the next couple of days to make sure all is well. Enjoy your meeting with McGarrett. I shall think of you."

"I appreciate that!"

*****

The reassuring centurion outside Danny's hospital room had changed but the remit was the same; guard the room from any and all strangers until the Chief of Five-0 orders otherwise. A chair had been strategically placed to allow a modicum of comfort for the officer on duty but otherwise it was a boring and thankless task.

As McGarrett himself approached, the uniformed man stood, not quite to attention but nevertheless acknowledging the man's seniority.

"Mike."

"Good morning sir."

"All quiet?"

"As a cemetery, just the medical staff in and out."

"How's the patient?"

Officer Michael Booth paused, unwilling to mention the sound of weeping that he had heard with some frequency that morning. He was aware of the somewhat unusual circumstances surrounding Detective Williams' kidnapping and near drowning and knowing how courageous Dan was from his days at HPD he felt a certain amount of depression on the part of the patient in this instance was justified. He decided to keep the information to himself. "Not sure sir." Came the neutral reply.

If McGarrett sensed there was more he didn't say so. "Well we're not expecting any trouble, just precautionary under the circumstances. Carry on."

Booth nodded, "Sir."

Steve's hand paused on the handle for a second prior to opening the door, dreading seeing the tormented eyes and hearing the confusion in his friend's voice. If Dan had slipped further into amnesia he wasn't sure how he would deal with it. His loss was already too great.

"Steve!"

A flash of irritation shot across his brow as his path to Danno was thwarted for a second time by the insistent tone in Bergman's voice behind him. Clenching his jaw he released the door handle and turned.

The coroner/physician looked his usual solemn self and for a moment Steve wondered whether there was a change to Dan's condition.

"Good, I'm glad I caught you." Bergman had his arms wrapped around a clip board, lending an additional air of seriousness to the conversation. He indicated the officer at the door and tried to politely steer McGarrett in the opposite direction. "Can we have a word?"

The tall Irish man held his ground, "I was just about to see Danno, can this wait?"

"Not really, let's take a walk outside."

"Why can't you talk to me here?"

"Because," Bergman said, hinting heavily with his tone of voice, "I think you would prefer to hear what I have to say in private Steve."

McGarrett sighed but followed the smaller man back the way he had come and into the lift. The journey was brief and before long he found himself in the cool morning air. The freshness ought to have been delightful after the unexpected storm of the previous day; instead he felt chilled and empty inside. As they strolled Bergman spoke, "I was hoping to catch you before you saw Danny this morning."

"I got the call that he's awake, he's okay isn't he?"

"Well, yes, physically of course he's in shock, he has a mild fever and is still getting over the surgery but we're confident that despite everything that has been thrown at him he will make a good recovery. Forbes is no longer worried about after-effects from the skull fracture which is excellent news."

"So what did you want to talk to me in private about Doc?"

Harry stuck the clip board under his arm and thrust his hands into the pants pockets beneath his white coat. He pursed his lips, "I spoke to Danny this morning and there is something you ought to be aware of before you see him." Doc paused, recalling Williams' grave distress.

"What Doctor? Get to the point please!" McGarrett said irritably.

Bergman looked him straight in the eye, a sorrowful gleam softening the stare, "His memory is back Steve."

McGarrett felt like he had been stabbed, "Oh dear God. Does he…?"

The older man nodded, anticipating the question, "Remember? Yes. It wasn't appropriate to question him in his condition but it seems he recalls everything. Which of course is both good news and bad." When McGarrett found himself unable to answer, Doc continued, "He's very low at present and much of which has to do with his physical state but he needs support now more than ever, he's probably eaten up inside with things we cannot begin to understand. Danny recalls those awful attacks and now he has to come to terms with that and move forward."

"How? How can I help him?"

Bergman shook his head, "I'm no expert but Forbes said he knows some very good psychologists who could help, or of course there are the ones here at Queens.

"Danny doesn't need a _shrink_, he needs our support!"

"Well aside from agreeing he needs our support, I have to disagree with you about counseling, I think that David is right and that Dan needs to have someone other than his close friends and colleagues to listen to him. You knew this was a possibility after he came out of coma, so consider it a necessity now. Naturally not right at the moment, he needs time to recover his strength, but soon. I can't imagine what he went through in order to break through the block but I am surprised the boy hasn't had some kind of breakdown."

"Danno's strong. He will be fine." McGarrett said stubbornly and somewhat naively.

"I am glad you think so but if you had seen him this morning, he was a wreck. He's lost; scared, vulnerable and alone, I strongly recommend he gets help as soon as he's feeling up to it. Even with the best intentions you can only do so much, the mind is a delicate instrument and professional help is what's required now."

With a `_huff'_ Steve began to walk back to the hospital entrance. "McGarrett where are you going?"

"To see Danno!" the detective threw back over his shoulder, determined that this time no one was going to stop him from being at his aikane's bedside.

"Don't talk to him about this now Steve, he's too sick! _Steve_? Do you hear me? _**McGarrett**_!"

But McGarrett didn't answer.

*******


	29. Demolition Comes Before Reconstruction

Chapter 29 – Demolition Comes Before Reconstruction

Sixty seconds to every minute, three thousand six-hundred to the hour. A few thousand seconds is a long time to be left alone with your thoughts, when the gatekeeper in your mind is sleeping on the job and the gates of the stronghold are flung wide to admit varmints, lepers, thieves and murderers – not people but thoughts; pests that steal your rationality, disease the mind, rob you of self-respect and slay the love you had inside you.

Danny Williams slept for a while, never noticing the good Doctor had taken his leave but when he awoke, all alone and groggy, to a room that hadn't changed he recognized that he _had_, if nothing else since the discussion with Bergman his watchfulness had gone, the passage to his emotions red raw with only willpower guarding his sanity. He expected it, could not have hoped for any more since now the action had stopped his mind was lulled into that limbo-like place between the past, present and future – now was the time he would feel it most - now he had time to THINK.

Close my eyes, breathe deeply, watch the pain drift away. Don't think of anything, rest to heal, I can do this… breathe in, let it out…think of nothing, empty space, empty mind…empty….breathe in…out..no pain…no thoughts..

He shifted face down on the bed, trying not to put pressure on his wounds; relaxing his stomach, back, legs and arms as he concentrated on nothing but his breathing, but he had barely begun before a twinge in his muscles brought his thoughts sharply back into focus and he swore - annoyed with the universe for not letting him have any peace. He gripped the pillow case and tugged angrily at it, hoping to rip the cotton – one act of vandalism to make him feel in control.

"It's no good - this is all bull!"_ I can't run away from myself for more than a moment at a time._

Now the wheels were turning, the thoughts came tumbling along like leaves on speeding rapids in the rainy season, headed for the confluence of his frontal lobe; the place which allowed him to understand future consequences from his actions.

_Heaven forgive me but just HOW do I get past this? Doc knows, Steve knows – they all knew before I did! Who else will pity me; so I can see the sorrow in their eyes as they picture my imagined humiliation – believing they can understand what no one has a right to!? I don't want that, not their pity, anger or empty promises that all will be fine. It WON'T be fine, it's all changed. I've changed._

_Is it too self-pitying to believe that?_

"Yes, stop wallowing," he whispered to the room. _Now I'm answering myself – I really AM going mad._

_Two men died yesterday and I don't care, I _should_ care but all I feel is hollow, there's a hole where my conscience ought to be. Maybe something has died inside me too. God please don't let me become something I abhor. _

Danny rolled over slightly, trying to see what the weather was like outside, any and all distractions welcome, but even that was denied him as the slats of the dust-laden shutters were slanted the wrong way. So much for distractions.

"Dammit!" He turned back, facing the linen as though it were a jury. At present it _was_ his only audience and that was how he liked it.

_Not personal Doc says, but it feels so goddamned personal to ME!_

_Right now I just hate them. My body no longer belongs to me; I lost it in that garage along with part of my mind and life. I feel disgusting. No amount of washing can eradicate their dirt, even if it wasn't me they were screwing but the badge; a way for the bastards to get back at conformity and cops. How could they do that? I don't understand how a person _does_ that to someone else!? I ought to by now, it's my job to deal with scum. Was my job, before this..._

_My body will heal. Probably. But my mind? Nothing like this has ever happened to me. _

"It'll all be alright…I..will be fine..,"

Moments ticked past. He was `fine' for a brief passing of time then Dan was back to his roller coaster ride of emotions.

_Maybe I ought to end this, leave it all behind. So easy…no..so _hard_._

_How can I ever have make love to a woman knowing what they did – after the degrading acts forced upon me? I don't think I can go through that ever again…has all that changed too? Would I ever feel comfortable taking someone to bed without thinking of what happened? I'm only human. Did they strip that from me too? Would a woman know I'm tainted? Could I ever satisfy her again or enjoy the act itself? Just getting undressed in front of someone would be shameful right now. I couldn't, not in daylight, or darkness. Can they see what I went through? Am I wearing on the outside the grief I feel in my heart? _

The more he tensed, the more he hurt and the more he hurt, the more he thought.

"Why me? Why me?! I don't want this, my life was good…I want my life back…**please**," he mumbled into the slowly dampening pillow.

_It was my fault, if I hadn't gone barging in there without backup, if I'd waited or just not followed the kid for a traffic violation like some damned rookie uniform on his first day out. Why couldn't I have just left him be, had another coffee or gone to work? So stupid, stupid, STUPID!_

_I should have waited, I'm the one to blame for all of it, their deaths too. If I hadn't goaded them, did I goad them? Maybe I did, it's all just a blur now. Perhaps I led them to believe I deserved it somehow….DON'T go there! Don't – mustn't think like that, I am a victim, aren't I? All I want is my life back, and some peace of mind; my brain is tearing itself to shreds inside my skull! _

_GET ME THE HELL OUT OF HERE please…please just let me PUNCH SOMETHING!_

"I'm so STUPID!"

Danny clenched his fist carefully beneath the plaster and beat the side of his pillow, hardly denting the thing in his weakness. His teeth ground together and he wished he could levitate from the bed and float away, somewhere high up where he could look down on his life and the people he had left there and envy them their normality - but never be caught watching for fear they would know why he couldn't face up to his demons – then they would laugh at him.

_Okay, calm down, think, breathe.. you've seen plenty of poor women in this situation before, how did they cope? They survive - at least as far as I know, so I have to! How did they react? What really happened to them after the investigation? How many don't even tell us they've been assaulted because they're too scared? I understand that now, the shame – the shame is so bad! Do they get back to normal, go back to their lives and forget it ever happened? Do women _expect_ it to happen somehow – are we men that awful that we make them feel like they deserve to be victims? Surely not. We've seen this before, Steve and I; the denial and embarrassment. How is a man supposed to cope with the same thing? Why haven't I had experience of that – why haven't I seen a male victim of rape? I can't be the only one…how can I admit to this? How can I face people knowing that I have…have…oh Christ!_

He shoved the heel of his un-fractured palm into his mouth and bit down hard until the impression of his teeth marred the livid skin with a ring of dental-branded guilt.

_What did I think of those women? I wish I had asked; taken more interest. Maybe I can look them up and say sorry when I get out of here. That's ridiculous; taking on the victim's sorrows just to ease MY pain, not theirs – so selfish – it's too late to help them now._

_What did Steve think of them? Pity? Sorrow? Anger? I know he was angry, I was angry too; angry at any man who could use someone against their will but just maybe a small part of me judged them too; their clothes; makeup; hair…did I think them guilty of enticement? Why can't I remember what I felt? I was just doing my job. Perhaps I felt too little, didn't give them enough sympathy…now look at me, I am where they were and Heaven help me I can't cope as well as they seemed to, why can't I just forget it and go back to being me! _

Dan put his head down for a moment, too exhausted to carry on with his internal and external dialog, he was so tired but the words still flitted across his mind like dust motes in the sun's rays, this way and that – lazily and with no ultimate destination except down, gravity pushing them to the floor, along with his mood – he couldn't get rid of the thoughts, they were weaving themselves around his cortex and strangling him.

_Did I encourage these men? I couldn't have! But they did it, they forced me against my will and…oh dear God I came; my body betrayed me. They touched me and I came…how will I ever live with that?! Will Steve know? Will it show on my face every time anyone looks at me? Does that secretly mean I enjoyed it? What about the second and third times? On the boat – I never struggled...I let the man rape me, I deliberately helped to get him off. NO! I had no choice, they tied me up and that was just to get it over with quickly so I could work on escaping, it wasn't pleasure, I just wanted him off me. Didn't I? _

"Yes of course! It wasn't my fault, I did what I had to!"

_Why don't I trust myself now?! This is crazy. _

_And what happens when I give testimony? I can see it now; everyone from the D.A's office staring at me, half-sympathetically, half-judgmentally, and John Manicote's probing questions. When he asks me if I fought them what do I say? It's a standard question in a sexual assault. The first time sure I fought back but yesterday… on the boat, yesterday was different. Do I tell them the bold truth and hope it doesn't cause them to judge me the wrong way? Would they turn their heads, not willing to look me in the eye, or would they understand? Or do I lie; both Kaika's are dead, who would know? I could tell them I fought them…but then I would be lying and I know inside here, I know what happened. No better than those bastards. Long and the short of it is I let Kaika screw me. What would Steve think of me if he knew? Christ this is hard!_

'**Get your knees up piggy'….knees up piggy…knees up…knees…**

"STOP IT…STOP…stop!"

_Must stop thinking, can't change anything by it. Move along, move along – nothing to see here – I'll be fine. But there's nothing else to do BUT think. Can't conjure up images of a homecoming, beach parties, a open-armed welcome back at Five-0, pretty girls on my arm, surfing. It's all tainted black. I have tried so hard but each positive picture bleeds and it hurts so much. I SEE their faces, feel their breath on me, smell their animal odor and worst of all I understand what it's like to have a man touching me. I can't eradicate that with puppies, kittens, flowers and sunshine. I just _can't_! _

"Steve, help me.."

_Oh Steve…when he comes back how can I look at him? What do I say to him? I know now; I remember practically every detail and he _knew what had happened_ because I've seen that look in his eyes…I can't stand it. Will he think I'm a coward for forgetting? Hiding away like a yellow belly._

_I'm so damned ashamed. I loathe myself for this, for not moving past it like a man. Who else knows what they did to me; hospital staff, Che, Doc, Forbes, maybe Kono, Chin and Duke? Who else? If I get out of here and go back to Five-0 I'll be a laughing stock, what with the trial and the press, everyone will look at me and know what happened and they'll mock me or feel pity. I don't want any of it. _

_Pathetic – Officer Dan Williams – the cop who was gang raped, shot and dumped. Will they ask if I fought too? I'd rather die than bring that kind of shame on my family name. _

_Perhaps that's the answer, do it before anything goes to trial! Oh but what then? Will a suicide be worse than facing it? What about Aunt Clara – either way how will she live with the stigma? Dear lady, It would kill her. Perhaps Steve will explain, he's good like that. He's a good friend; he will tell her whatever she needs to hear. How could I have ever forgotten Steve?_

A surge of renewed pain blasted through is body as the dosage of painkillers began wearing off and he turned onto his side again as a sweat broke out on his forehead, breathing deeply until he was able to convince his body to calm down.

_It hurts and I'm so sick of being sick. I wish I could go back in time, stop this before it ever happened; I wouldn't be so stupid. I acted like some green rookie eager for a collar. Would I ever do it again if a member of the public was in danger? _

_Well that's the sixty-four thousand dollar question isn't it Danny Williams? _

_Should I just leave? Leave the islands? And then what? Get a job on the mainland? Hawaii is my home, being a cop is my life. I belong _here_ not in some other out of the way State, but at least there maybe I can get lost and people will forget and forgive me. I wish I could forget and forgive _myself_. Amnesia isn't as bad as they make out, at least I didn't know then. I wish I didn't now, _

"I can't run away."

_How can I leave Five-0 without disgrace? Maybe just move to the Big Island, a surf shop – that's crazy, it'll follow me there, the coconut wireless is too good; none of my buddies will want to surf with me. _

Besides which, I can never escape ME.

Blue eyes stared at the window, imaging the side of the hospital breaking away and fresh air and freedom replacing it with sunlight pouring into the dissected concrete hole. He longed to be himself, from the time before and wished the ocean would sweep him away on his surfboard. But the walls never moved and he couldn't. All he could do was analyze with a flawed and damaged mind and spew forth unspoken thoughts into the ether.

What if it happens again? It could happen again! I have to face these kinds of people every day of my life, will the fear show in my eyes? Will they know that I'm ripe for picking? Will the others have to protect me or feel they have to? I'm not big in stature, all I have is respect, the badge and my position to hide behind. Is that enough? It wasn't the last time, it used to be but now... Will I break into a sweat and run? ? I'd rather be shot than assaulted and that's the honest truth. I wasn't a coward but that was before. How can I count on my nerves not to give me away, make me run for the hills or show these men how much I am scared of them? Will Steve be able to trust me ever again? What about partners? Back up; can I be trusted to protect and serve the way I did? Maybe my career is over anyway. I am so scared!

_Must stop feeling sorry for myself! Pull myself together, it's just the drugs, when I get out of here I'll decide then. It'll all be clearer….of course I could just take a boat off shore and slip over the side. That wouldn't be so bad, I nearly drowned before, it was bad but tranquil at the end. I could have gone – but for Steve rescuing me. He should have let me go; less embarrassment for him and the force that way. I'll bring them all down. I should have gone…_

He rocked back and forth on his shoulder, feeling the modicum of power left in his body and reveling in the adrenalin rush that accompanied a sudden flight or fight panic. It was the similar feeling he had when he suffered from the fugues, only now he didn't understand it or do anything about it. Instead he was stuck – simply rocking and he pulled the rough blanket further up the bed and wrapped it about his cold shoulders, hugging the wool to his chest as he trembled.

_I need to get out of here, this is driving me insane. If only I could move, run. I have to face it, face the questions and the pity. It's hard to breathe. I need air. I want oblivion._

Oh why didn't you leave me down there Steve? If you had the decision would be taken from me. I don't know what to do! I've failed as your friend, a cop and a man and now I'm second-hand goods. They were right – the monsters were right - I'm no use to anyone any more. If only I could sleep without the nightmares, sleep forever and never wake up. It all hurts too much to relive it over and over again. This time not even for McGarrett. I just want to go…end it now, let me go..

"Please let me go!" Danny Williams said aloud and fell back onto his stomach. Biting his cheek until bloody, he pushed himself into the pillow with a sleepy exhalation of breath and wanted to die. Mentally boxed in with nowhere to turn.

Smothering himself was not an option, but right now he seriously considered it.

*******

Trying hard not to think of anything but vapor, Danny was in a light doze when Steve slipped inside the door and approached the bed a short time later. A sixth sense alerted the injured man immediately and Williams turned his head, a mouth full of damp inhaled linen pulling away from his lips leaving a few drops of blood to mar the bleached whiteness. Straining his neck to see who was creeping up on him, he thought he would never sleep with his back to an unlocked door again, if he lived that long. At least the self-destructive thoughts he harbored temporarily disappeared in the wake of this new, and perhaps not-so -welcome, intrusion.

"Hi Danno. Good to see you awake. Am I disturbing you?" McGarrett asked tentatively, aware from the deep creases and tear tracks on Danny's face he was contemplating bad things.

"Disturbing?" Williams replied quietly, sarcasm a spit away from hysteria. "If you mean were you stopping me from constructing an orchestral masterpiece in my head or deciding where to go for my next holiday, no Steve, you're not disturbing me. Not like I'm going anywhere any time soon."

"Like a second home eh my friend?"

"Something like that."

McGarrett pulled a seat alongside the bed, the metal legs scraping against the floor as he did so. He sat down within touch of his partner who was lying in what looked like a very uncomfortable position on his stomach. Steve drank in the view; happy to see his friend alive and not lying on the deck of a boat, soaked, bleeding and pale as the ghost he could very well have become. Instead Williams looked devoid of color, red rimmed eyes, deep sockets beneath his paler-than-normal orbs and boyish curls tucked tightly against his skull from perspiration or fever. He was thinner than McGarrett could ever recall him being and the open-backed gown exposed bruised and bandaged flesh that had lost its healthy tan. Doc was right, he did look lost. The older man opened his mouth to speak but was interrupted.

Dan shied away from his inspection and said, "You're not going to ask me how I feel are you?"

"No," Steve replied, taken aback; it was precisely his next question, "not if you don't want me to Danno." There was so much he wanted to ask; to _say_.

"Good." Williams went back to studying a blood spot beneath his chin, very much afraid that McGarrett had spoken to Bergman and that he now knew the amnesia had gone. He felt utterly exposed.

"Can I ask _why_ you don't want me to know how you are? Seems to me that's what friends do when one of them gets hurt."

"How's your arm?"

McGarrett smiled and unconsciously touched his forearm, "Touche. Well enough; a few stitches, it's sore but I'll mend."

"That's good Steve." He ought to have said thank you for saving his life but just then wasn't able to bring himself to thank Steve for something he didn't feel grateful for.

"You'll mend too Danno, I _promise_ you."

"Bodies heal." He replied with a verbal shrug.

"And minds don't?"

Danny said nothing, speaking volumes.

"I spoke to Doc," Still no reaction, "he said a lot of things."

"He talks too much and you're in no position to promise.."

"I'm just glad to have you back aikane."

"I'm very tired, can we do this some other time?" _Coward Danny, you're a coward; pushing Steve away is _not_ going to help you._

"No, I want you to listen to me for a minute."

The head turned again, "Captive audience, it's not like I have a choice is it?"

"Danno, **stop** doing this to yourself, it doesn't suit you my friend. That's not the Danny Williams I know."

"Yeah well just maybe I'm not the same any more."

"You've been through so much, I want you to know that you won't be alone from here on in. I thought I'd lost the best 2-I-C I had ever had, twice, and now he's back I _don't_ intend losing him again. Look, I know you remember what happened and I can't eradicate that, God knows if there was any way to I would, but the fact of the matter is that you have to move past it as best you can. The memories may be horrific but I'm going to help you if you'll let me. I need to Danno, it's hard not having you around, not just as a colleague, but as my dearest friend."

A huge sigh and trembling fingers clutched the corner of the pillowcase as Dan tensed inside, scared of what the response might be to his next statement, "But you must be so ashamed of me?"

"Ashamed? Why on earth would I be ashamed of you?!"

"For what I let them do to me!"

"Oh Danno, the nightmare is over, don't you understand? They are dead; don't let their ghosts haunt you! You're the injured party here, no blame is laid at your door for any of it. You know, you've seen yourself how some victims believe if they'd done something differently none of it would have happened but that's not true, you can't change the past, what's done is done. Think my friend; all you are feeling now is the same guilt they do. You're a **cop**, you have experience, bring it to bear on your own case. If you remember it all, remember that too!"

"Those animals from the boat are dead Steve but there were two more! I don't feel safe here, I'm not sure I will ever feel safe again."

"It's okay, we know about them and you are _perfectly_ safe, I have an officer outside and no one will come in that we don't authorize. Besides which, your assailants are gone. For a start we think the Kaika brothers murdered one of them, Koa Lukina. Ring a bell?"

Hearing that, Danny pushed himself up on an elbow and grimaced with pain as the wound on his back pulsed yet again and the mental wounds inside his head ripped open in tandem. "_Koa_?"

"Yes, he was found beaten to death."

_Koa's long hair draped across him, ripping his shirt, pulling his broken wrist, wet mouth on him, goading him, _"_Come on pretty boy! You be nice to us and we'll be nice to you." Running a hand along the inside of Danny's thighs…. _

He wanted to throw up.

"Danno you okay?" McGarrett lent down and gently touched the bed covers, wishing he dared do more, wanting to hold Williams and tell him that all would be well; to protect him and bring him home.

_No I'll _never_ be okay. _Dan thought to himself as he tried to swallow back the bile, "He was so cruel. He shot me Steve, it was his idea for them to do..what they did… What about the other one, the Samoan, please tell me you arrested that bastard?"

"We did but someone got to him in prison. Lupe Tanilofa is dead too, seems they didn't like his big mouth. Maybe a friend of yours?"

"No friend of mine. Then again, I almost wish…"

"…you could have done it yourself?" McGarrett shook his head, "No you don't aikane, you're not the kind of man to take revenge."

Oh but I am Steve - how good it felt forcing the hook into Mano's chest, seeing the surprise on his face, knowing he was bested by someone he had abused and written off as shark bait! The pain in his eyes as I felt pain; am still feeling it. The splash as he fell into the water, the relief that one of them had gone. The warm rush through my blood as I thought about killing the other man; the one who had so recently humiliated and degraded me. Maybe I am capable of revenge….

Right now Williams wasn't sure that stabbing Lupe wouldn't have been the best remedy in the world. Steve didn't know him as well as he thought.

"You can't know what I would do. I don't even know myself!"

"Trust me, I'm a good judge of character. You could no more kill in cold blood than I could."

_Perhaps…._ "If only I could believe that, I don't know what to believe right now, I'm so confused….I..I..can't think straight,"

"You've got plenty of time to find out Danno, we'll do it together but if you need more…professional help, then I guess we can do that too."

"A psychiatrist?"

"If you need it, yes. But my guess is you'll be okay without, you just need some time to adjust and get better."

"Better?" Danny's tone was vacant.

"Yes, all the time you need. Don't worry about work, I don't want to see you back until you're ready."

His heart was beating rapidly, so disappointed in himself and mortified that the one person in the world he revered most thought it was all so easy and that he was so broken, "Steve…I don't know…a _shrink_? You think it's that bad? Adjust? It's not that simple… I can't just….I guess you are ashamed of me.., I understand,"

"No..no your wrong aikane, no one is ashamed, there's nothing to be ashamed _**of**_.., I just meant if you needed someone to talk to then maybe someone else…someone who has some expertise, who can help you…"

Just then the door swung open and a very irate Bergman strode into the room, needle in hand, his voice barely controlled, "McGarrett! Get out! Now! As Danny's doctor I'm ordering you to leave."

"I just wanted to talk to Danno."

"Well you've done enough talking and by the looks of him, enough damage for one day. Out!"

"He's fine."

"Is he?" Doc said, drawing McGarrett's attention to the bed where Dan's eyes were screwed up against the world, the torment on his face evident as his breathing became erratic and he fought demons inside his soul.

Genuinely not knowing how he had so badly judged the conversation, McGarrett cursed his innate inability to empathize when he needed to most, he would have to learn the rules faster, "I'm sorry kaikaina. I didn't mean to upset you." Two fingers brushed Williams' shoulder in sympathy but Danny was gone from the room; too much information, too little healing. He was back in the field of linen; closing his ears to all but the self-inflicted roar of air through their chambers and the feel of vaporized darkness closing down on his consciousness. He was _TRYING TO NOT THINK_ and doing it very loudly indeed.

"OUT!"

"I'll be back Danno, I promise. Try to sleep."

McGarrett glowered at Bergman, rose and left the room followed swiftly by the practitioner.

Once outside and within full earshot of Officer Booth, Doc growled, "Before you bite my head off Steve I'm going back in there to sedate Danny. He needs rest not the third degree! Don't you ever listen? He's not ready to listen to anything yet, not your ideas on how he will recover or anything else..You can't go laying this on him when he's only just come through such a horrendous ordeal! You have to be _the_ most stubborn…_the_ most difficult…oh what's the use!" With that he backed into the room ready to administer a sedative to his recovering patient.

McGarrett, unwilling to listen to a dressing down from someone of the medical profession even if the truth of the words stung him, turned tail himself and walked away before the doctor could return and his temper got the better of him. "Well,' he thought, "some friend I am - I made a right mess of that! Dammit Danno I'm sorry…'

This was all going to be so much harder than the Five-0 Chief realized; the end to their mutual pain was nowhere in sight.

********


	30. Intrusion

CHAPTER 30: Intrusion

Two central motivators move us through life; love and fear. Fear is compelling, insidious, ruthless and destructive, it makes us run, protect, fight or fall. Pure love on the other hand courts and nurtures, is tender, caring and constructive. Both powerful emotions, both guiding lights.

To be fearful is second nature; we experience it every moment of the day, it wraps itself around us in much the same way roots of trees push albino tendrils through the sod, strangling tiny particles in their wake. We often let it rule us, as love can, because it is unconscious and most often illogical.

Next time you make a decision ask yourself why you do what you do; perhaps it is out of fear. Small every day choices; waking up, brushing your teeth, going to work can be made because of it. When someone has a genuine cause to fear they become saturated with emotion, harboring thoughts one hundred times more overwhelming and destructive than normal. It can easily break them. Or others.

Dan Williams was afraid - not for his life, since he cared little for existence per se, but of other things – pain, humiliation and the future; of what his colleagues thought of him, his career, family and friends, and most of all he was scared he would go mad from the memories. He covered it up as best he could, drifting on drugs and acting as he believed was expected of him. But it was hard, and getting more difficult all the time. There was no proverbial light at the end of the tunnel, not that he could see; just foggy possibilities of more depression covered by a thick layer of lies.

McGarrett had said he may need help and he understood that to be true but, frightened or not, he still had some pride and the thought of exposing his mind to a stranger turned his stomach. It would go on his police record, as all this would, and his future was tainted. It was also hard not to concern himself with what people thought of him, harder still when he couldn't hear the whispers behind his back and although he told himself it didn't matter, subconsciously it _did_.

True to his word Steve came back to visit, sitting like a solemn, dark-eyed guardian at his bedside for hours on end, but Danny was hardly aware of it. Time seemed to drift, as he did; swaying between darkness and light when not only his injuries but the emotional pain took their toll on his ability to remain conscious or coherent. He was vaguely aware of the older man talking to him, of supportive words and soothing hands, but all in all the only thing he craved was the medicine to make him sleep, _nightmare-free_. The needle was his temporary friend.

It was hard to let McGarrett down, he knew he should be stronger, but this time – of all times – he gave in and let the self-pity swallow him. One incidence would have been enough – but even though his back was strong, it wasn't strong enough to bear the load that fate had weighed him down with. He felt cowardly and when he did the guilt smothered him again and he found it hard to breathe. He couldn't win, trapped inside a mind and body that were aching for release and burdened by his own feelings of inadequacy.

Three days went by in a lengthened blink but gradually he felt better, the constant throbbing throughout his body died down to a dull ache and he could bear to sit lightly against the pillows. Even his toe stopped being so sore. But fear lurked behind his eyes. Some time soon the clinical support had to end; the austere routine of being tucked in and administered to, and then what? What had his life become? He wasn't even sure he remembered what the inside of his apartment looked like, let alone his desk at Five-0. What cases had he been working on? He couldn't recall. In some respects it was like the amnesia, only this time there was no medical excuse, just the crumbling of his mind.

How he longed for his own bed.

Tick-tock, tick-tock life goes on.

"Hey man, all you've done since we've been here is push that defenseless potato around your plate like it was a suspect. You wanna talk or something instead?"

Kono Kalakua sat perched precariously on the end of the vacant bed next to Williams' own, his large thighs hung over the edge and Danny had the notion that a gust of wind would make him fall flat on his face with a Elmer Fudd-like thump.

The other visitor in the room looked equally awkward, Chin Ho Kelly's hands clung to the foot of Williams' bed, one foot raised on a metal wheel as he stared uncomfortably at his colleague. Dan could feel the shoe slip off every so often jolting the bed slightly. For some reason he felt his friends were nervous in his company but dismissed that as paranoia. He experienced so much of it lately.

"What?" He replied distractedly, shifting the boiled tuber past the remains of gray beef covered in some kind of gelatinous gravy. He grimaced.

"Talk Danny, you wanna talk to us?"

Dan looked up, his face sombre and morose, "About what? The weather? Baseball scores? Women? Work? Or maybe how boring this food is. What's to talk about?"

Kono chuckled, "Talk about anything you like but keep punishing that vegetable and I'm gonna have to arrest you for abuse!"

"You want my dessert Kono?" Danny asked to keep the mood light.

"Hey do mahi-mahi live in the sea? Of course brah give it here!" With his fork Williams edged the small plate of sponge and custard toward his friend who slipped off the bed, grabbed it and gleefully began tucking in.

Unable to keep up the pretense any longer, Williams dropped the fork on his plate with an audible clatter, instantly grabbing their attention. "Just tell me one thing," He began.

"Sure," Chin replied, noting the sudden seriousness.

"How many people know?"

The Chinese detective shifted uncomfortably, foot dropping back to the floor, "Know what?"

Williams frowned and tried to sit up straighter but hampered by the pain between his shoulder blades, gave up. His voice rose, "Don't treat me like a child, Chin, you know what I mean. How many people know I was sexually assaulted?"

Chin and Kono exchanged looks. When Kalakua shrugged, Kelly answered the difficult question instead, "Aside from those who treated you when you came in, just us, Che, George and Duke. Oh and Steve of course. Jenny knows nothing, neither does anyone else in the department. I'm not sure if the boss has told Manicote or the Governor, he may have. Most everyone knows you were shot and kidnapped but we avoided sharing details with anyone but those who needed to help you. Steve felt, quite rightly, that it's no one else's business."

'Oh." Dan wasn't sure he expected that answer, fearing _everyone_ knew, he was humbled by the support and somewhat mollified.

"So when did they say you could get out of here?" Kono asked, cannily changing the subject as he licked some stray custard from his lip.

"I don't know. Not for a while I guess. Maybe they want to make sure I'm not going to do anything stupid first."

"Hey don't think like that, you're strong bruddah, the strongest. Besides we're gonna be taking good care of you when you get home!"

"Sure Danny, anything you need, you get!" Chin added.

"Thanks guys, but that won't be necessary I'm fine." _Fine, fine, I'm fine…all lies; just lies. _

"Well there's someone else waiting to fuss over you when you get back; Jenny will be here as soon as the boss unlocks the handcuffs to her typewriter but you can get bet she's baking already! She sends her love." Chin offered.

"Tell her the same from me, everyone, truly you've been so kind, I don't deserve it after what I …," he trailed off and stared at the messy plate rather than complete his confession.

Chin was saddened, he'd rarely seen his young colleague in such a low state but with Williams' emotional make-up doubted it would be the last time, "Don't deserve?! Hey kid, what kind of nonsense talk is that? Have you forgotten how much you've done for people over the years, maybe you need a reminder of what you mean to your friends and colleagues! You think these cards and flowers are for nothing? Want me to read the sentiments to you again? You've got a lot of support whether you like it or not bruddah!"

Kono got up and dropped the empty bowl onto the bed before swiping the napkin from Dan's table then gently squeezing the other man's shoulder, he was sorry when Williams winced, obviously unhappy with the physical contact, "He's right Danny, you have plenty of friends. You've always been there for us, now let us take some of the burden off these skinny haole shoulders. Things will get back to normal, you'll see, we're ohana - we'll help you!"

"Steve's been beside himself with worry about you, all that time you were in a coma. Even now it's eating away his insides. It's not just you that's suffered, he has too. He needs you. He won't tell you but those attacks hurt him in a very personal way, struck at his heart like I've never seen before. Maybe if you get better he can heal too. He's making our lives a misery so the sooner you get back to the office the sooner we get him off our case!"

Danny smiled, it was hard not to feel comforted by these men who had backed him up every day of his life since joining Five-0. He knew that Steve was hurting and desperately wished he could make it all go away, for everyone. He suddenly felt selfish for considering only himself in all this. "Mahalo, both of you. I mean that."

"Don't you ever doubt we care. McGarrett may not say it but he loves you like a brother man, and that goes for us too!"

Chin suddenly heard raised voices outside the room and tensed. "Hey what's that commotion?"

"Dunno, let's take a look." Kono said, wiping Williams' napkin across his mouth and patting his holster to reassure himself his gun was there in case of trouble. Dan pushed the bed tray aside and went to move the covers back. "No Danno, you stay here, let us deal with this."

Before Williams could say or do more, Kelly opened the door. As he did so there was a dazzle of flashcubes caught in the light and a cacophony of voices as half a dozen or so reporters breached the single-officer cordon and forced their way into the small private room, camera shutters clicking and notepads fluttering as they man-handled Chin Ho aside. Kono stepped protectively in front of Danny's bed, aware that the young man behind him was as shocked at the intrusion as he was; maybe more so. "Hey what is this?! Get out of here! Everyone out NOW!" the Hawaiian shouted at the suit-clad rabble. Chin was trying to force the group back out but it was like herding excited elephants through a cat-flap.

"Mister Williams is it true that you were kidnapped by the same gang who shot you?"

"Tell us more about what happened before the Coast Guard found you?"

"Danny, how did it feel to be taken from a supposedly safe institution like Queens?"

"Do you have a comment about Five-0's involvement in the case?"

"Can you tell us about your injuries Mister Williams?"

"Get out of the way so we can photograph him will you!"

_Flash Click. Flash Click. Flash Click. Click. _

Behind Kalakua, Dan was like a rabbit caught in the headlights, he couldn't turn, run or hide, he was trapped on the bed and fearful of both the questions and the men surrounding him, all he could do was trust in his friends to help him. His face broke out into a cold sweat as he pushed back against the metal headboard to make space between himself and the reporters. With every muscle movement his face contorted in agony. Desperate to cover himself up, he frantically clutched at the bed clothes pulling them up over his semi-naked chest and wincing as he used his knitting wrist to bad effect. He struggled to control his panicked breathing and get his head around what was happening; somehow word had reached the papers that he was back in hospital and the feeding frenzy had begun. Just how they knew where to find him wasn't hard to fathom either; not everyone had an HPD officer outside their door.

"Please get out of here! I have nothing to say! Leave me alone, no….no comment." He pleaded, aware that his voice sounded ridiculously weak.

_Flashclick. Flashclick. Flash._

"Detective Williams are you aware that someone murdered Lupe Tanilofa, one of the men who allegedly attacked you? How does that make you feel?"

"Can you comment on the rumor that this is connected to a car theft ring?"

"Dan can you face this way so we can get a good shot for tomorrow's paper?"

"COME ON GUYS, _NO CAMERAS, NO COMMENTS_! GIVE HIM A BREAK, CAN'T YOU SEE HE ISN'T UP TO THIS?" Chin shouted, pulling two reporters back as he, the guard and Kono tried frantically to clear the room.

"Why do you need a guard on the door?"

"Is that standard procedure for an officer of the law or is it just wasting tax-payers dollars?"

"Detective Williams, you've been shot before, did it feel any different this time? Can you tell us anything about your attackers?"

"Mister Williams will you be leaving Five-0 after this latest incident? Does McGarrett think you've lost your nerve?"

Danny was shaking his head repeatedly, bulbs went off in his face as cameras were parried left and right, up and down, like cheerleader pompoms to get around his protector. In front of him Kono clenched his fists and gritted his teeth, he was prepared to punch every one of them if necessary to get them out of Williams' way. Instead he resorted to his training, "Last chance. Either you get out _now_ or we can arrest you for interfering with an officer of the law and trespassing. Your choice; you can leave or we can take you in on a code violation - then _you'll_ be the ones in tomorrow's headlines!"

That finally gave them pause to think, eventually the flashlights stopped, the _click-click_ died down and the voices became more subdued until all but one went quiet. "Aw come on fellas, just a few more questions! Seems like Mister Williams has been through a lot lately and we just want to get his side of things straight, eh Danny boy?" Jimmy Shultz said, stepping out from the center of the group and leaning around Kono's bulk to stare at Williams. Dan stared back and blinked. As always, the `Bloodhound' was right in the thick of things, this time following someone else's hunch and eager to get the best story possible; even if he had to goad a detective, or _three_.

Knowing exactly who he was, Kono deliberately moved menacingly toward the man, "NO, no more questions, no more photographs, no more access to this floor. If a statement is in order we will issue one in good time. Now you have ten seconds to clear this room before we arrest you!"

"Oh and before you print any of this, I'd think **very** carefully about Steve McGarrett's response!" Chin added as he all but kicked the behind of one of the Star Bulletin's reporters out of the door.

Predictably Shultz was the last to leave, he smirked as he turned to face them, "It's a free country _Detectives_. Afternoon Mister Williams, hope you're feeling better soon!"

When the final sound of voices and footsteps disappeared down the corridor, Kono addressed the HPD officer, "Make sure no one gets within fifty feet of this room without good reason, understood?"

The man nodded and returned to his post.

Concerned, Chin moved to the bed, Dan was in a barely controlled state of shock. "I better tell Steve about this, he's gonna be _real_ mad. Danno are you okay?" Williams had a hand over his mouth biting into the flesh, he was white as a specter and trembling but he nodded anyway, not really listening. "I won't be long bruddah. On my way I'll page Bergman." He left shaking his head, disgusted at the behavior of the reporters.

After the door closed, Kono fussed over the glazed young man, straightening the blankets and gently repositioning his pillows behind him. Williams looked deathly pale as he submitted to the ministrations. "Hey it's okay, they've gone, Chin's going to get Doc to check you over."

Dan wanted no more fuss today, just to lie down and go to sleep, to forget about it all; the lights, cameras and most of all the questions, one of which struck a particularly nasty chord, _` Does McGarrett think you've lost your nerve?'_ He was angry that something a two-bit reporter said could hurt him so much but it DID hurt, it was the most painful thing in the world to think Steve might believe that of him! He clenched his fist. "No..no I'm okay, just surprised, please don't get Doc."

"I think we ought to, you look like you're in pain and you're bleeding a bit. At least let me get a nurse?"

Surprised, Dan stared at his arm and saw a trickle of blood snaking down from where the IV line entered his skin, he hadn't felt anything until Kono mentioned it. "I told you, it's nothing. Stop fussing over me like I'm a weakling will you!? That's what you all think isn't it? That I can't stand up for myself? Well I can. _**I can..**_!"

"We know you can bruddah, this has nothing to do with what's inside your head Danny; whatever you say you still have a hole in your back, let the man look you over, or one of those pretty nurses - just in case."

"Why does everyone think I need help?"

Kono's dark eyes peered seriously into the distant blue ones before him and with a tenderness that belied his looks, said affectionately, "Because you do little brother - because you do."

*********


	31. Introducing in the Blue Corner: McGarret

CHAPTER 31 – `Introducing in the Blue Corner: McGarrett'

His nerve endings were frayed. With a pile of cases littering his desk, an imminent meeting, court appearances booked, Tanilofa's murder to solve, two meetings scheduled with Governor Jameson requiring preparation, more with the D.A's office, a brewing headache, lack of sleep, a sore arm and worst of all a poignantly empty office next door to his, there was no doubt that Steve McGarrett was a man balanced on the edge of collapse. Small wonder then that the messenger bearing bad tidings was about to be shot.

"_THEY WHAT_?!" he shouted down the receiver.

"It's under control Steve, Danny is fine, Kono's still with him and I'm going to get Doc to look him over, he just got a bit of a scare that's all, no one's fault."

McGarrett stood up and pressed a knuckle into the manila folders on his desk top, grinding invisible foes into the pulp, "No one's fault?! _Rain_ is no one's fault, _Kilauea_ erupting was no one's fault, _darkness falling_ is no one's fault but this - THIS is very definitely _someone's_ fault!"

On the other end of the telephone Chin Ho Kelly moved the receiver away from his ear and winced. McGarrett was often brusque but rarely was he rude to his colleagues. He decided to give the man some leeway after all that had happened and very calmly responded, "I'm getting HPD to post another Officer on Danny's door, hospital reception are alerted that his corridor is off limits to all but patients and staff and I've started an internal inquiry. I'm honestly not sure what else I can do Steve!?"

Back in his office, McGarrett listened with barely controlled annoyance, he knew it wasn't Kelly's fault, he also felt uncomfortable with his outburst, but the fact remained that someone had loused up, not giving a damn about Dan Williams' feelings or health and his guess was that the hospital staff were to blame, just like the last time. He made a decision to throw his weight around, on Williams' behalf.

"I have a meeting to attend then I'm coming over. In the meantime wait there, try and piece together who I need to shout at and make sure the hospital administrator is warned that I want to meet him when I arrive. "

"Right."

"And Chin?"

"Yeah boss."

"_Mahalo nui loa_."

As the call disconnected with a sincere `thank you very much,' Kelly smiled, McGarrett was many things but he never stayed mad at people for long, particularly when it wasn't justified.

********

It was possibly the single most ridiculous thing the Chief of Hawaii Five-0 had ever done in his life. It was certainly one of the most impulsive.

After a brief, but tense, meeting with board members of Honolulu's Citizen's Safety Committee, throughout which he was only half-concentrating, Steve got to thinking about the recent conversation with Chin Ho and in particular about Danny. As before, he reflected on the balance in the unit and how the younger Williams had pulled the team through some considerably tough times. He understood in particular that his own gruff approach, as exhibited barely half an hour before, was often tempered by Dan's ability to translate this bluntness into something more workable for them all; sometimes by acting as an intermediary, sometimes a peacemaker and often simply by diffusing a difficult situation with humor. It now occurred to him that he had rarely thanked his friend for that, or felt he had consciously given back any of what he was given. Mostly he saw it as part of the job description of his Second-in-Command but with Williams' absence like a wound in his heart, he understood it was so much more than that.

As he made his way back through the grounds of Queen's Hospital, the thought of what Dan had been going through and the uncharacteristic reflection upon his own unbridled temper, made him pause at a stand just outside the hospital entrance and consider his 2-I-C as a brother in need of cheering, and not an employee.

As was the case with many of these institutions, a small shop had been set aside under a garish sun awning that sold flowers, magazines, candy, children's toys and the like; simple presents and cards for those who had no time to purchase elsewhere. A ridiculous item caught his eye and for the first time in two days he smiled. Without pause for further thought, he decanted his wallet from its nesting place and handed the middle-aged volunteer a bill, rejecting the change in favor of the charity tin. Gift tucked under his good arm, he continued his broken stride into the entrance without stopping to consider whether or not he had made a spectacle of himself. He made straight for Williams' room.

The single officer on the door had been cloned and both crisply uniformed men stood up straighter when the lead detective approached. One smirked and covered his laugh with a cough as he noted the box McGarrett carried.

"What?" the tall Irishman inquired as he went past, "You think I'm more a _flower_ kind of guy?"

"No sir!"

"Not at all sir!"

"Good, because I'm not!" McGarrett shook his head, just a hint of a playful smile flickering on his lips, and opened the door. Inside however was a sobering scene. "Danno, Kono. How's it going?" He put the gift on a chair, frivolity temporarily forgotten in the wake of what he saw.

The curtains had been half-pulled, shading the rapidly heating room from the majority of the sun's glare yet he could still see well enough to know that all was not quite right. Williams was sitting up straight, sheets pulled tight against his body, arms hanging limply in his lap; his face was a wan mixture of perspiration and intense concentration, Kono had obviously been trying to deal with the result of a difficult situation. The big man was talking gently to Dan but at Steve's entrance stopped mid-sentence and patted Williams' leg reassuringly before turning to McGarrett.

"Boss, Chin told you what happened." It was a statement, not a question.

"Danny, you okay?" Steve asked, ignoring Kalakua for a moment, his total attention on Williams. Dan was shaking, whether from pain, exhaustion or anger Steve couldn't tell.

"I'm fine." _Fine fine fine fine fine fine FINE! _

McGarrett's eyes narrowed, as though he had heard what was inside Danny's head but couldn't understand the reason for the sarcasm. "Well there's little point in asking what they wanted." his eyes glanced around the room, taking in anything that might seem out of place, "Did they get any comments out of any of you?" He asked - business before personnel; the McGarrett way.

The man in the bed shook his head and closed his eyes, tired of everything, including the light. He winced as his back pulsed, "Nothing. Just photos."

"Okay Danno, we'll see if we can stop them from going to print but I doubt it." He came closer to the bed, concern for his friend all-encompassing, "You look terrible, have you seen a doctor yet?"

One red-rimmed blue eye cracked open and there was no doubt as to the emotion radiating from it; irritation and a negative response.

Beside him Kono shook his head and shrugged, "You try telling him boss. He made me stop Chin from getting Doc. He's one _stubborn_ haole, all he says is he wants to be left alone!"

Danny sighed, "I've told you, they'll be here on their rounds soon, trust me, I am an expert, I know when, I know what and I now know how - _intimately_!"

'_Definitely needs cheering up_.' Steve thought to himself. "Well I think someone needs to keep you company in this room from now on until you're back at the Palace. I'm afraid it means you won't be left on your own again and trust me - this guy is tough!"

Both of Williams' eyes opened this time, perplexed and not a little hurt that McGarrett felt he couldn't take care of himself. "Since when did wanting to be **alone** qualify for extra company?" he asked quietly.

Steve's look was deadpan as he picked up the discarded present and handed it to Danny with both hands, like a peace offering.

Kono was the first to react, he saw the stunned look on Danny's face as their boss handed Williams the toy and he couldn't help the unfettered laughter that rumbled up from his belly.

"Well go on - open it." Kalakua encouraged.

Danny looked from the box - to McGarrett - to Kalakua - back to the box and finally settled on Steve again, "You can't be serious? _G.I. Joe_?!"

"Not just _any_ G.I. Joe Danno - this is the new `_Man of Action' – a real American hero_." Steve said, quoting the advertising slogan on the box but meaning it to apply to his young friend. The whole time not a glimmer of a smile crossed his features until finally he saw Williams' expression brighten, then he allowed his own mouth to crack into a broad beam that brought his handsome countenance alive, banishing the tiredness instantly. It had been worth it for the look on Dan's face alone.

As Danny turned the unexpected item over, temporarily gone was the lost look; the concern about what his friends thought of him. Briefly flown along with it were the images that wrapped themselves suffocatingly around him; of the intrusion from the reporters and the aftermath of his attacks. Here was an adult cop sitting injured in a hospital bed, fumbling with a cardboard box containing a twelve-inch doll fashioned in pure plastic muscle! Life didn't get any stranger than that.

When he pulled the khaki-covered model out of the box, the over-sized dog tag plopped against Joe's uniform, "Complete with `_lifelike hair'_ I see!" Danny laughed and coughed so hard his back spasmed.

"Yeah well, only the best for my friend." Steve replied almost sheepishly.

"Couldn't you find _Batman and Robin_, boss?" Kono asked lightly.

McGarrett chuckled, "It was all they had! Besides which, you wouldn't want Honolulu talking now would you?"

"Steve!?" Danny dropped the toy and his hands clenched the bed sheets as agony shot through him, only now did he feel the sinister wetness trickling down his skin.

"But it suits you two; the _Caped Crusader and his Boy Wonder_!" Kalakua guffawed.

Steve laughed, caught up in the humor, "Which makes you _what_ Kono, the _Joker_?"

"**Steve**!!!"

McGarrett finally heard the desperate plea from Williams and both men turned toward him, all trace of humor swiftly dissolving, "Sorry, yeah Danno?"

"I ah…I think you better get a Doctor now."

"Why? Is something wrong aikane?"

Danny leaned carefully forward, and McGarrett took in an audible breath - on the surface of the pillow was a large red patch. Despite Williams' assurances he was fine; he had torn some of the stitches in his back and had been bleeding for some time.

McGarrett's thumb pressed the call button faster than he could speak. "I wish you weren't so darned stubborn my friend!"

"Sometimes I wish I wasn't too."

*********

The room was barely large enough to permit a desk, black leather chair, metal filing cabinet with obligatory potted plant and two rather worn visitor's seats. In addition to these meager trappings, teak shelves were spread wall-to-wall behind the cheap matching desk and the sheer volume of books and files on them gave the impression that the Library of Alexandria had been crammed into a cupboard. It felt intensely claustrophobic with a depressing shade of muddy paintwork and no natural light to offset the gloom.

Attempting to make more of the space than was ordinarily possible, an impressively tall man strode back and forth across the thin blue carpet tiles with the tempo of a metronome. McGarrett looked like a giant trapped in a matchbox.

In front of him and protected by a layer of paper-strewn furniture, a drawn-looking senior member of the hospital's medical staff, slender hands speckled and worn from decades of signing paperwork and thick-lensed glasses sitting atop a patchwork of thinning silver hair, addressed the pacing colossus with undisguised irritation, "Mister McGarrett, we can't possibly let Williams be discharged into your hands! I've read his file and with the catalog of injuries this patient has suffered, not least of all his recent brush with death, I and my staff are adamant he needs to stay in our care until any infection has been tackled and his wounds are healed. Allowing you to take him away from the finest medical supervision he can get would be tantamount to professional negligence and I will _not_ be a party to it - he simply isn't well enough!"

Steve's hand traced unconsciously aggressive hieroglyphs in the air, "After the behavior of your staff Doctor Allen, I am not about to be told what I can or cannot do when it concerns an essential member of my team!"

Harry Bergman interrupted, eager to bring peace to what had fast escalated into a war of personalities, "Steady on Steve, that's enough! I know you're upset, Lord knows half this building knows it too, but you aren't thinking straight. You know as well as we do that neither the hospital nor its staff, are entirely responsible. We couldn't possibly have foreseen that someone would abduct Danny, nor anticipated the intrusion of those reporters. In fact, if anything, blame should be laid at the police department's door; from what I can tell they were the ones who let this happen. So will you PLEASE do us the courtesy of calming down and continuing this discussion on a more professional and less personal level?"

Steve stabbed a finger in Bergman's direction, "This _is_ personal Doc! Too many things have happened to Danno here and I'm taking him away. If I can't get him into another hospital I'll find a private nursing home, I'm not letting him stay here any longer!"

Allen slipped the glasses back down onto the thick bridge of his nose and waved his hand ferociously, "McGarrett will you _please_ sit down, all that pacing is making me sea-sick." Reluctantly Steve complied with the request, cramming his length into the inadequate chair frame. "Thank you. Now let's start at the beginning again BEFORE you make any rash decisions that could affect Williams' health!"

"We have been through all this!"

"Indeed we have, with you patrolling my office and dictating terms now, as Harry here pointed out, the police have exhibited rather relaxed security around your detective, however I am willing to concede there is someone on this workforce leaking information of a sensitive nature which I believe you have already insisted we look into. But before you say anything else I ought to point out that at no time was any order given by Five-0 stating that we should keep Mister Williams' stay here a secret which technically means none of my staff have breached any directive!" Steve started to say something but Allen held up a hand and stopped him, "That aside, the real issue we need to consider is if the medical care of the patient has been adequate or whether you have other grounds for concern. Have you had any cause to doubt he has been properly looked after during his lengthy stay with this institution?"

McGarrett begrudgingly admitted he hadn't.

"And I believe in addition to tearing Doctor Bergman away from his duties as Coroner to act yet again as Williams' primary care doctor, you also requested the services of one of our top neurosurgeons. Knowing the history between your department and Doctor Forbes were only too pleased to alter his busy schedule in order for him to be assigned to your officer's case, proving that we are in fact considering what is best for the patient and **not** negligent at all!"

"This is not the point!" Steve's jaw clenched and he jabbed his index finger into his thigh to punctuate the comment.

The frustrated administrator continued unhindered, "I feel this is **very much** the point. Would you not agree that every step has been taken by the staff at Queens to ensure your man has the best care and, if you do agree then can you not see this is the best place for him to remain until he is well enough to return to his life and duties? The alternative, should you so insist, is to place him in a medical institution with inferior facilities and no special favors! Indeed, I'll take it a step further and ask you how you are to ensure your man's safety and comfort somewhere else when every effort has been taken here and, according to you - failed?!"

Bergman raised his eyebrows to the roof, mentally whistled and crossed his arms, waiting for McGarrett's potentially pithy response to such stark comments.

When nothing was forthcoming but a considered release of breath from the Chief of Five-0, Bergman took the initiative and stepped into the gap left by the Irish man's silence, "Steve, if you won't listen to him, hear me out. I've barely taken gloves off covered, yet again, in Danny's blood! You know what he's suffered. That boy has been stitched, re-stitched, sedated and put back together more times in the last few weeks than I care to count. He's not a car that you can change the oil and spark plugs in, vacuum the upholstery, wax and put back on the road; he's a human being with very delicate feelings and we both know what else he is going through right now; if nothing else he needs some stability in his treatment. I know him, he trusts me and when I'm not there he is in the more than capable hands of the nursing staff - all of whom understand the situation he is in and have been with him since he first arrived. That has to count for something in his mind! All problems with security aside, don't you think Danny ought to at least be given some say in this?"

"I can't trust Danno's judgment right now, I'm well aware he's not a broken vehicle but he _is_ a broken man and until he gets his feet back on terra firma someone has to make decisions on his behalf. With no family here on Oahu, **I'm it**!"

Allen peered down his lenses and cocked his head on one side, "Well, that's quite a responsibility McGarrett, and I understand, I really do, but believe me Harry Bergman knows a thing or two about people and if he thinks you're making a mistake, I would listen to him. I don't know you or your man except by reputation but it seems to me your hard-headedness can color your view of things at times. Broken or not, Williams is perfectly able to make up his own mind and I can't see you bullying the people who are looking out for his well-being as particularly helpful to him, can you?"

Steve glanced down, considering the words and wondering whether Allen was right, perhaps he was too quick to dismiss Danny as incapable of thinking clearly because of all he had been through; the assaults, shooting, coma, amnesia - all of them chipping away at Williams' bravery and common sense. But it was Bergman who delivered the final speech that brought him to his senses. "We're talking about _informed_ decisions Steve, not ones made in a passionate display of how you feel about your friend; you have to recognize that whilst Danny is fighting with his inner demons there are some pretty hefty gremlins sitting on your shoulder too! I wouldn't dare quote you the law, I don't have enough information to do so, so trust me when I say that we are taking the very best care of that young man and want him back in one piece just as much as you do and give us the consideration of believing we know our jobs too! You lie in Dan's place and think about that for a moment. Consider if carting him off to another environment with another set of faces and more questions will help, or hinder, his recovery!"

McGarrett's body language altered, the tense war-like pose left him as he calmed down, "Alright, alright gentlemen you have both said your piece. I admit I don't anticipate any more trouble and you have convinced me there are benefits to keeping him here. But the _merest hint_ of trouble with your staff, or if Danno wants out, you try stopping me from carrying him out of here in my arms if necessary!"

"Wouldn't dream of it McGarrett, as long as he's well enough to leave!" Allen said, relieved that the grilling was finally coming to a close and fully believing the man before him would do just that if it came down to it.

"Oh and before I go, I want a list of employees, just in case we decide to do a little digging of our own into who blabbed! Now if you'll excuse me I have crimes to solve." Steve just _had_ to have the last word.

With the briefest of handshakes, McGarrett stood up to take his leave but stopped and addressed the M.E. next to him instead, his tone notably softer, "Doc how is Danno doing?"

Bergman smiled, "Mended and sedated, you can see him later. Physically he'll be fine in a couple of weeks. You know even though he isn't a motor vehicle Steve, I do rather feel like your department's mechanic sometimes!"

Not in the mood for levity under the circumstances, all McGarrett could muster in reply was an unadorned, "Thank you." He then nodded to both men and left. With his exit, the bijou office with its suffocating closet-like appearance began to breathe again, as did its remaining occupants. They could almost hear the bell announcing `**end of round one'**.

***********


	32. Crutches

CHAPTER 32 – Crutches

"Good morning Mister Williams, isn't it another beautiful tropical morning?" Nurse Kakahi said cheerfully as she whisked back the curtains with a flourish. The newborn sunlight streamed into the hospital room illuminating dust particles and banishing the night-time.

A groggy Danny, dragged verbally from a nightmarish sleep of harrowing images awoke gradually to the sound of someone talking and a dark, stubbled visage staring at him. Attempting to focus, he knew something wasn't quite right with the picture forming in front of his face. According to his brain, G.I Joe was addressing him with a woman's voice, in point of fact a very _sexy_ voice but the molded lips weren't moving. He blinked and tried again.

"We'll just have a look at those dressings and then you can start thinking about a nice breakfast."

Recognizing the voice of his regular nurse, he felt the warmth of the sun on his shoulders and soft fingertips as they untied the gown he now wore. When practical-length fingernails barely scraped his uncovered skin, he shivered; not with pleasure but with the remnants of revulsion he felt when anyone, man or woman, touched him now. He tried turning over but couldn't, having once again been cemented into an uncomfortable position to stop him from putting pressure on his back. His nurse moved the feather-stuffed ramparts and asked, "Now, can you move onto your stomach for me I just need to see how this is doing?"

"I ah…," Danny hesitated, firstly because his arm had become numb from being too long in one set position and secondly because the back of the gown would be open and he wanted nothing less in the world than to be exposed.

The young Hawaiian immediately discerned his problem, she was one of the few people who had nursed Williams throughout his ordeal and knew he had been sexually assaulted. She felt sorry for the handsome man in her care and wanted to make it as easy for him as possible. Even though she had seen his naked body many times before, that had been during his coma and afterwards when suffering from amnesia, from what Doctor Bergman told her she understood things were a little different now that he recalled the attacks. In order to help him relax she addressed him casually, "I will move the sheet with you, don't worry, it's just your back I'm interested in, not your back_side_!"

Danny felt more grateful to her in that one moment than he could bring himself to admit; he hadn't said a word but someone understood, he also recalled how pretty she was and surprised himself with the normal thought in all the right places. "Thanks," he said and began, with difficulty, to shift himself into position.

"We certainly want you to get on your feet again, I'm beginning to wonder if you even _have_ a home to go to!" She said, laughing as she attempted to distract him from the proceedings. He eventually managed to get himself onto his stomach without embarrassment and she began to gently replace the soiled wound dressings.

"I have a home, I just can't quite recall what it looks like." He murmured in between manfully wincing as the cotton, saturated with congealed blood, was parted from his abused skin.

"You have plenty of friends to welcome you back from the looks of it," she said, referring to the cards surrounding him, "and your girlfriend must have a good sense of humor."

"My _what_?"

"Your girlfriend, er, the one who gave you the doll?"

"Doll?" Danny peered around at the nurse, his blue eyes sparkling with long-denied amusement as he stared sideways at the luscious black hair, brown eyes and full lips; all accentuated by a crisp white uniform. "Um…my boss gave me that."

"Oh, oh sorry, I just thought something like a toy, it had to be a girl, you know?!"

"If you knew McGarrett you would understand just how funny that comment was!"

"Mister McGarrett gave it to you? He sure doesn't look the type." She paused in her cleansing then added, "Actually, come to think of it perhaps it does seem right. He really cares about you. Spent many nights by your bedside when you were in a coma. He got upset too; plenty for a big man like him. Of course he can be quite difficult when he's shouting but all in all I'd say he was just scared of losing you, I could see it in his eyes - the way he watched over you."

This, coming from a complete stranger, was something of a revelation to Danny, but before he had time to digest the information or respond, she took out a thermometer, shook it and popped it under his tongue. "There now, let's see how that temperature is doing!" She winked at him.

So Steve was afraid of losing him. On many levels he knew that was true, it just took an outsider to make it sink in. Perhaps it was about time he gave his friend back some hope that he would come through this, God knew he would dearly love to return to work and get on with his life, maybe if he couldn't do it for himself he could for McGarrett.

After he had suffered all the indignities of the morning rounds, Danny was once again modestly propped up in bed and one further duty remained. Nurse Kakahi handed him a thin package wrapped in brown paper with a small envelope that had been slipped under a knotted cross-piece of string.

"What's this?" Danny asked, taking the parcel from the young woman.

"No idea, one of the nurses downstairs gave it to me, a friend of yours apparently handed it to her this morning to pass to you."

Williams just stared at the parcel. For some reason that he couldn't deduce, he was extremely reluctant to open it.

"A _friend_?"

Kakahi shrugged. She knew nothing more, she said.

After Dan thanked her, she hovered momentarily as though waiting for him to open it but when he made no move to do so she smiled at him, told him breakfast wasn't far away and left.

After she had gone Dan slowly opened the envelope, gloom replacing the sunlight in the room as swiftly as a camera shutter. Inside was a cheap Get Well card depicting a cross-eyed cartoon patient with his leg in cartoon plaster, lying in a cartoon bed which read:

_Consider this a small `Get Well Soon' gift for the office wall (assuming you still have one!)._

_Your friend,_

J `B' Shultz

_P.S. Personally I think it's one of your better looks_

He stared at the words for a few moments, knowing _precisely_ what would be in the package but, hesitant as he was, he knew he had to look. He hooked his finger into the string and pulled, it snapped easily with his angry strength and draped itself around the pulp. As he touched the wrinkled paper he took in a deep breath and tried to center his thoughts; knowing himself to be foolish to take the bait but unable, nevertheless, to pull himself back from the brink of curiosity.

He slipped his hands into the opening…

Shultz had made quite an effort; the time between developing the photograph, framing and delivering it was so short that Williams knew it had been calculated from the start to cause mischief. Even though he was alerted to the fact, he still turned the black frame over in his hands and viewed the printed paper under spanking new glass.

Kono was standing to one side of the hospital bed, hands raised, palms front as though warding off evil and he sported a grimace on his face that could have scared the Hawaiian gods. It wasn't a flattering look but when Danny saw himself he was even more stunned. Of late he had avoided looking into mirrors but now he saw an artificial one he was shocked at how he appeared to the world outside his head. Rather than face the press like a man, it gave the appearance that he was on the verge of some kind of psychotic breakdown. He was pressed so far back into the bed-head that he looked as though he was trying to disappear down a rabbit hole and if that wasn't bad enough, the sheets were pulled up as far as they could go without covering his shoulders which made it appear he was attempting to hide under them! In all honesty he was captured in a moment of fright; scared out of his medicated mind from the flashbulbs and questions being hurled at him like thunder bolts, but the press wouldn't do him the courtesy of letting him recover in peace, he was a public figure and they needed to spin their stories to make everyone believe that day _was_ night. Even in black and white he could still discern the dark rings under his own eyes like a Holocaust survivor and the photographer, whom he assumed to be Shultz, had done a wonderful job of capturing McGarrett's Second-in-Command as a terrified half-wit.

He tried not to let it hurt him, he _tried_ to let it go and understand that he was recovering from being stabbed in the back, and more. He attempted to block the picture from his mind along with so much more memorial garbage that needed trashing, he even tried to forgive the heartless son-of-a-bitch for hitting him when he was down, but in the end he **couldn't**. This was what the media thought of him and this was what the public would be laughing at over their morning coffee.

With a howl of despair he launched the photograph across the room as though it burned his hands instead of his soul. The loud crash and sound of glass breaking brought not one, but two HPD officers into his room, guns raised, but there was nothing the men could do to protect Danny Williams from himself. His hand was over his face as he nodded tightly to their inquiry about his health and when one started to collect the sharp pieces from the floor he urged them to go away with as much control in his voice as he could muster. But when they closed the door promising to get someone to clear up the mess he could contain his sorrow no longer.

*********

Steve came to pick up the pieces; for the glass he came too late, for Danny it seemed too early. After the incident with the reporters the day before and despite the temporary relief of his gift, Williams had locked himself back inside, too unsure of his future and those around him to step outside a wall of bland equanimity. There was little point in McGarrett attempting to prise open the door to what was troubling his detective, he knew the look from before, and Dan Williams was as stubborn as they came when he wanted to be. The younger man returned to his ritual of sleeping, hardly eating and speaking softly when spoken to. Of these the last was the most troubling, it was so `un-Danno' like.

The photograph was never printed, an angry Head of Hawaii Five-0 called in favors and virtually threatened every reporter known to have been in that room, or their Editors. It worked. Even Shultz was made to back down, warned, in no uncertain terms, of charges if he harassed Williams again. The story of the detective's abduction still ran but sans graphics or speculative comments and no more was said. None of it appeared to comfort Danny, nor indeed seemed to bother him either - and that too was cause for concern.

Days passed and after one particularly odd afternoon encounter with Williams when his responses were monosyllabic in the extreme, Steve decided he _had_ to do something. With his injuries healing, Dan's physical care had become secondary to his mental recovery for which there seemed to be no progress, or if anything, the reverse. McGarrett went back to the Palace and made a covert call to a psychiatrist suggested by Forbes. The conversation revealed a troubling possibility; that at some point Danny might reach a crisis point, with pressure being exerted from all angles there was a fair chance that his friend may hit a large and impenetrable wall of emotion and then even Williams' stubbornness could crumble with the force of impact. What type of crisis the man could not say, he simply warned McGarrett that the fallout could be tragic if Dan didn't get help before then. It was bad, he said, that Dan had gone into a shell, it could only spell trouble.

_Days? Weeks? Months? _ When was it all likely to happen? Steve asked but an unseen shoulder shrug together with a `could be any time' comment was all he received by way of reply. That left the lead detective with the task of convincing Williams to seek help, something he did not relish, but whatever was festering inside his best friend he couldn't bring himself to leave to chance, if Dan wouldn't talk to him about it perhaps therapy was now the answer.

McGarrett grabbed his jacket and left his quiet office intent on convincing him to accept professional help.

As it turned out his timing was perfect.

*********

Since his admittance much of Danny's time had been spent asleep, too weak from infection and fever to do much more than lie there whilst the mystery of creation combined with the talents of the medical profession, did the hard work of curing him.

Slowly, but surely, he began mending.

Externally all appeared peachy but no one knew what was going on inside the violated man. His perpetual traffic of well wishers, colleagues and friends had petered out yet again, much to his relief, and Dan was moved into a more comfortable private room where he could hobble around and sit at a window if he wished. He spent hours propped up in a plastic chair; dozing or contemplating the sky beyond his institutional `prison'. He felt drained and begged his body to heal faster so he could finally step outside and pick up the pieces of his life, such as they were.

It was getting dark outside, the evenings were drawing in and the room was fading into twilight. Staring in envy at the ordinary world, Williams moved, easing his sore body from the mustard colored seat and navigating his way around the functional furniture to the small shower room adjacent to his. Despite having been washed countless times, he could bear the stains no longer and needed to be able to clean himself of what he imagined was accumulated filth. Maybe then he could start to heal.

He closed the door behind him, clenching his jaw in frustration at the lack of a key then stripped and climbed into the cubicle, turning the taps on as he did so. Danny gasped in shock as the cold water gushed onto him. He swiftly pulled the curtain across, shielding his view of the door and hoped no one would come in.

As he stood there shivering, the artificial rain began to fall with monotonous regularity, drops directed to freedom through dozens of tiny holes in worn-out metal and gradually it began to warm up. The water's decent was halted in an ever-changing pattern as it met his warmly rounded flesh before gravity forced it to ground level and beyond, spiraling away into pipes below - never to be seen again. It felt _good_.

He turned his face towards the faucet, not caring if the downward pressure was inadequate and opened his mouth, filling it slowly with bubbling liquid. Spitting out the clean water, he leaned his head on the ceramic tiles and let the shower softly caress his neck and naked back.

The first real chance he had to get clean in weeks and he knew when the time came he would be loathed to leave the comfort of the small cubicle. Not that he felt safe there, with no lock on the door and a simple blue plastic divider between his modesty and whatever lay beyond, he kept his ears attuned for any sound of an intruder.

As he moved his slender body back and forth in the steam, newly formed scars shifted across a rippling epidermis, each muscle singing for joy or groaning with agony depending on which he used. Dan picked up a soapy shower cloth and began very carefully to lather himself. In much the same way as his stomach wound had, nature's scaffold had been growing between his shoulder blades and cells had begun crawling across it; joining and blending until the stitches would eventually no longer be required to keep his insides intact. In the layer below, microscopic wars were still being waged trying to rebuild healthy, nourished tissue from destruction and as he touched that part of himself he bit his lip in pain. He ached from head to foot from each piece of damage done to him. No part remained untouched; literally.

He wanted to stay there forever, continually washed with water, weightless and cleansed, without thought or burden but he knew that soon someone would seek him out and then he would be forced back to reality. Deep down he also knew that he was simply performing Lady Macbeth's sinful ritual; washing invisible spots that would never go away and like the doomed Shakespearian creature he would never be free of the guilt.

Even if his skin was clean his soul felt soiled; no amount of soap could change that – he was still tortured inside. As he stood there in the flowing water, memories began leaking into his subconscious and he knew from the hurricane force at which they started to hit him he was in for a rough ride. Then, from out of nowhere he suddenly began to panic. It was like the onset of latent claustrophobia; the walls began closing in on him for no reason, pressing down from all sides, the curtain even appeared to move, swishing back and forth and threatening to suffocate him with its plastic cheerfulness. When his heart began pounding it knocked on his ribs like someone beating on the gates of Hell, demanding entry. He was choking.

The longer he stayed there, the more worked up he became, he could feel a knot forming deep in his gut, calcifying his insides and pushing up to his throat where a similar lump began to evolve. Like a trapped bear he launched himself from wall to wall, shaking his wet locks and trying to evade what he felt was the imminent eruption of his sanity. He was tempted to bash his head against the tiles to try and stop his brain from playing the X-rated feature over and over again but instead he clung to the shifting shower curtain as the despair, depression, embarrassment and anguish came crashing down upon him. He couldn't help it, there was nothing _consciously_ driving the feelings that attacked him from out of nowhere, it was just demon memories brewing in his subconscious and he was powerless to evade them; the dam was cracking open.

Leaving the water to run, hands sliding down the sodden plastic to stop himself from falling, he hastily got out and reached desperately for a towel to wrap around his hips. He was soaking wet and still covered in lathered bubbles but didn't care.

With morbid curiosity he moved toward the mirror, face magnifying like a gray ghost in the water vapor the closer he came to it. Colorless and vacant orbs stared back at him, echoing how he felt inside. He wondered if he had morphed into something as grotesque and pathetic as he felt but all he saw was himself. Dan Williams – _failure_.

No matter how hard he tried, every thought he had began to corrode into something hideous and destructive. The knot in his stomach tightened into a solid band.

He had tried forgetting but it was eating him alive, churning away at his very marrow and sucking the life out of him like a vampire; memories of pain and humiliation and guilt – he was wandering in the wilderness and had nowhere to turn.

Unable to bear the charnel-like quality of his introspection, he placed a hand over his eyes, shading them from the merest reflection of himself whilst he reached out and turned off the light, craving obliteration and hoping in the darkness he might find peace. He sank to his knees on the hard floor, holding onto the basin for support and pressed his face against the cool sink, seeking solace in its solidity. Finally he slid down and curled into a ball on his side. He felt like he was losing his mind. He was shaking with emotion and mumbling incoherent words that made no sense to him, just sentences strung together as he talked to himself; part verbal flagellation, part comfort.

Danny recognized the self-destructive behavior and begged himself to consider what a saner man would do but he also understood he was vulnerable and human, and hoped the cathartic display of emotion would burn itself out leaving him free of pain. For now he wrapped his arms about himself and gave vent to the self-pity that had built inside. No one to listen, no one to watch; or judge.

He wanted to believe that no one would find him there, that in this hideaway there were no monsters to hold him down and no heaving, sweating, grunting animals to reduce him to nothing. He was scared that his mind had wandered too far but was loathe to move from his secure place to seek help. He slid his body tight against the door, back hurting as he pressed against the flimsy wood. Now no one could break in without him knowing it.

He had collapsed as thoroughly as a demolished city – flattened to nothing but terrifying thoughts and images that invaded his mind. Such despair was exhausting and it shook him to the very core of his being - he was petrified to move.

Outside darkness fell swiftly.

Ten, twenty, maybe thirty minutes passed before a puff of air blasted Danny's cheek and a hint of yellow light shot under the door frame as someone entered the room outside and turned on the switch, illuminating the eerie gloom.

"Danno?"

Steve's voice, thick with concern.

"_**Danno?!" **_

Dan couldn't answer, wasn't sure he knew how to anymore without the cracks appearing. Steve cared and was hurting too but Williams hadn't the strength to help himself, let alone reassure his friend, he had just been hauled bloody and screaming across the coals of his own psyche.

A further gust of air as feet threw shadows under the doorway. "Are you in there?" The handle turned and pushed.

McGarrett met resistance as he tried to open the door and immediately believed the worst; he could hear water running and thought that Danny had collapsed and was unable to get help, or that the crisis had happened and that he hadn't been there for his friend as he suffered. He pushed again and this time whatever had been blocking the entrance began sliding away. The room was in darkness and he immediately felt for the light, hands shaking as he dreaded what he might find.

Understanding it would be impossible to keep his boss out, Williams was now sitting huddled between the shower cubicle and the hand basin, arms still wrapped protectively around his naked chest and Steve's heart nearly broke when he saw the pale, distressed face of his closest companion. Too much suffering for someone who never asked for anything but to help others. He didn't deserve a fraction of what he was going through and that made McGarrett want to lash out at anyone who hurt him but seeing Danno alone and so distraught he had no one at hand _**to**_ be angry at; just the unhappy man sitting on the cold floor before him. He crouched down, aware that he was dealing with a mind that was close to snapping, or perhaps had already snapped. He shuddered at the thought, "Danno, tell me what's wrong?"

Danny looked away, unable to meet Steve's eyes and McGarrett got the sudden impression that he was hiding something. Of all the things he had deliberated about throughout the whole ordeal he had never considered that Danny would still be burdened by guilt of some kind but he realized that never once had they had a proper conversation about how Williams _felt_. Not least of all because Dan had avoided it.

"I want to help you, can't you see that? This has to stop, you need to talk to someone, whatever it is you **have** to let it go. I'll be honest with you Danno, there's no way I can let you come back to Five-0 with this hanging over you. Please, please for both our sakes – just tell me what's eating you! Aside from the obvious there is something else you're not telling me. Trust me, I care about you a great deal my friend."

Williams had pushed his friend away for fear he would succumb to Steve's constant questions about his health, if he hadn't those thoughts he had wrestled behind a solid, but imaginary, door would open Pandora's box and who knew what horrors would be released! To everyone else he had returned from the dead and that was enough, but he knew McGarrett sensed something more going on, that's what made Steve the best cop in the State.

Now it seemed the box was open again and he was so very tired, too tired to force the images back inside, it was now or never, in private, here in the tiny space where people washed themselves of dirt; he needed to wash himself of this thing that was destroying his life, the guilt that was tearing him to shreds.

The older man hovered over him and Dan could see from the corner of his eye the pity barely concealed behind the steel gaze and it made him even sicker of himself. The nurse had told him how much his friend cared and now McGarrett himself was repeating it, here before him, but he felt so foolish in the presence of such strength that his stomach churned over with sickness.

"Steve…" he began, willing the pent up flood to stay within the confines of his skull. "I…_**I can't**_.."

Steve moved closer, his long legs folding until he sat by Danny's side, close enough to smell the soap still clinging to his skin. He daringly reached out and touched a cold shoulder, long fingers curling around the chilled muscle and was gratified to note that Williams didn't flinch at his proximity. "Hush, just listen to me. You have to understand something Danno, I'm a detective, I work things out for a living. You think you're doing a smart job of trying to convince us all that you're okay but I can see you're not repairing inside as well as you make out. Why the lights out? The water running and you here on the floor? What's with that eh my friend? Some time soon you will be forced on oath to remember and describe what went on in that garage, you have to recall what happened on the boat because questions will be asked for the record and when that happens you _have_ to stand prepared to state what you want us to know, without fear. The only way through that is with help. I know you're strong, you have shown that time and time again, you have _**nothing**_ to prove to me, but now you have to let go of your pride and grasp hold of the help we're offering you."

Danny looked up at him, engaging him with his eyes for the first time in days. It was a sad, forlorn look and Steve's heart went out to him, he continued, determined to get the result he desired from the conversation, it was hard for him to wear his heart on his sleeve but now was not the time to hold back. "You're more than just a friend to me, I'm not much given to sentimental words but you have to know that I love you as dearly as if you were my own flesh and blood! I'm not sure that life would be the same if you weren't working by my side or sharing part of that life. I am not about to let _anyone_ make a laughing stock out of you or take your career away if policing is still what you want to do. If you don't want that then believe me when I say I will support you wherever fate takes you. I will protect you, as a brother would, for as long as I have a breath in my body. Do you understand that I care deeply about what happens to you? If you say yes then for both our sakes just tell me what I can do to help you! I'm lost here unless you guide me…please Danno, just let me in. It's not your fault, none of this is."

_So hard, so very hard._ "But it _is_ my fault."

"Oh aikane why would you believe that? Trust me and tell me what's wrong. Just you and me kiddo; brothers. It won't leave this room, I promise." As clear pearls of sorrow began to fill Williams' eyes Steve reached an arm around the trembling man's shoulders and pulled him into a uncharacteristic embrace. The damp head pressed onto McGarrett's chest, wetting his shirt.

Finally the flood waters broke through, and Danny Williams let go of all the pent up guilt in the pressure cooker of his mind by admitting the one shameful secret he still harbored, "I let him rape me Steve! I..I never struggled, I should have struggled…_why_? Why didn't I?" He fell bonelessly into McGarrett's lap, and the big man of Five-0 hugged his now-sobbing partner, holding him tight against the nightmares and soothing him with reassurances. "I've got you Danno, I've got you. Just let it go…let it go.. Now we can begin to bring you home."

Steve held onto the shattered body until exhaustion claimed the injured man then carefully easing himself out from underneath his light weight, McGarrett got up and lifted Danny into his arms. He carried him back into the room and laid him on the bed, smoothing the covers over him until he was satisfied he wouldn't catch cold then he went back to grab a fresh towel and carefully dried as much as he could of William's wet skin, dabbing his hair so the water wouldn't seep too far into the pillow and wiping the cotton over the exposed flesh on his arms and chest, soaking up every droplet and soap bubble he could find. Dan's breathing was shallow and he never moved an inch but his face was more relaxed which was a relief in itself.

Running a tired hand over his face Steve sat on the edge of the bed and set to watching Danny sleep, his hand just touching Williams' arm. The admission had been a huge one but not insurmountable. McGarrett knew there had to be circumstances surrounding the revelation that he had not yet been told about. He was convinced that all he needed to know was the truth from Danny's mouth and he would be able to lay that particular ghost to rest. No way was Dan _anything_ but a victim but in the impressionable and wounded mind of his Second-in-Command how like him to blame himself!

Even the strongest beach pebble, when buffeted enough by rough waters, will eventually break down and Steve wanted to make damned sure this young stone was smoother for the ride and not crushed into sand that blew away with the wind.

Time to call in the big guns.

********


	33. Fling Wide the Doors

A/N: Another heartfelt thank you to those of you reviewing and reading. Those I cannot thank personally I want you to know that I do appreciate you taking the time to tell me what you think of the story, it is a pleasure to know you like it. We are on the final legs of the story now but do stick with it because I hope you will find some more excitement along the way. MM

CHAPTER 33 – Fling Wide the Doors

"Give it time Mister Williams - this _will_ get easier. Now let's start at the beginning shall we? Tell me how you felt when you first entered the garage."

******

No bars on the windows, no lock on the door, nothing to handcuff Danny to each clinical disassembling session but an emotional promise to a friend to open his mind and let a complete stranger take up residence inside. It was like unlatching your front door, stepping to one side and allowing humanity to tramp through your house, rummaging around with dirty little fingers; picking up your trophies, brushing over your clothes, even studying your record collection and asking questions about why you furnished your life the way you did and if you harbored illicit feelings for your mother. If no answers were forthcoming you were bombarded with more questions that delved deeper into your personal life until bit-by-bit you cracked and spewed forth all manner of your innermost secrets. Voluntary desecration - of the legal kind.

No moral stone unturned, no safe hiding place, no bead-eyed bird in the rafters, just billboards announcing your inadequacies, unfettered fears and fantasies. Worst of all when you finally worked up the courage to open wide and pour out the conflicting distortions of your mind, they were often reflected back at you with no comment or contribution, just a blank nod or, more irritatingly, a gesticulating hand waving at you to carry on.

Dan Williams had a new `best friend'; a psychiatrist with the unlikely name of Chadwick Jones, whose list of accreditations was hard to recall it was so long, not that Danny cared to remember anyway. Therapy, professional help, counseling, psychoanalysis, psychiatry; labels all of them and for this three-piece suited, cross-legged, manicured expertise, the department were paying a fortune. Not exactly mild in manner, Chad encouraged the detective to face his demons with a laid back finesse that would have done well in a professional interrogator. He had a `grasp and pull' technique that made short work of Dan's problems; as soon as a rupture appeared Jones delved deep and dragged out the truth, kicking, screaming and frequently sobbing. "How did you feel?" became monotonously repetitious and Danny was sick of the sing-song voice as it controlled his very existence. He sometimes found himself curling his hands into fists, nails digging into the palms to stop him from throttling the man before him.

But, loathe the method as he might, he was gradually coming to grips with what had happened to him and that, as Steve McGarrett pointed out, was the most important thing.

So, a private room with plenty of paper tissues and a glass-topped table that he nervously tapped his foot against, and the reconstruction had begun. Danny felt so drained when he returned to his ward that no amount of effort could get him to talk for hours afterwards. He would often heave violently over a sink, hands gripping onto the sides as he shook with emotion. It was like having the marrow sucked out of you every single day and he was worn out.

In the aftermath, as he lay in bed, he mulled over each moment of the session, trying to extract the good and let go of the bad. It took time and was a huge adjustment on his part but there was no doubt he was healing. Physically he was still weak but even that was changing as therapy replaced sitting and staring out of the window. His back throbbed unmercifully at times but like the rest of the pain - he got used to it. His uniformed shadows were still there, reduced to one man per shift now as the threats to the press sank in and no one bothered him any more. He was old news and old news doesn't sell. Danny got used to their presence and began talking to the Officers informally about work when they dogged his footsteps. It felt good to hear what was going on in the street, as though he were coming alive from a long hibernation. At times he even laughed.

He was unfurling; stretching out and feeling his way in the world again thanks to his friends. Their determination and support meant everything to him. In his blackest moments he still contemplated ending it all but the guilt of letting them down outweighed the siren-like promise of peace. Steve was a regular visitor, as were Chin Ho, Jenny, Kono and Duke Lukela who had been seconded from HPD to Five-0 in Danny's absence. Of them all McGarrett made him feel the safest. Since the day he broke down, Steve never spoke to him about his confession, he simply listened and treated Williams with as much respect and dignity as he possibly could, reassuring the man that life would be good again. Danny took him on trust and if anything the experience forged a closer bond between the two men.

Now that he was up and around he neither sought company, nor denied it. Never one for games or magazines and too unsure of himself to read newspapers, he spent time in the hospital lounge immersing himself in fiction, lost in imaginary worlds that he knew nothing about, but he was bored. What he secretly wanted were reports; thick, boring paperwork such as charge sheets, mug books and testimonies. He badly needed back into his life as a cop and most especially Five-0.

Despite his progress, lurking in the wings was the melancholia and from that he would not escape for a very long time. Some days were good, some very bad but soon he would leave the safety of the hospital and return to the outside world. He wasn't sure he was ready for it. For one thing there was still the doubt hanging over his head, as sharp as the sword that lay suspended over Damocles'. Even if he was considered fit for duty again, could he _really_ go out onto the streets and face another situation like the one that put him there in the first place? **That** was the real question.

********

Closing the hard-backed novel with a thump, Danny stretched his legs out under the table and looked around the room. Nothing seemed to hold his attention any more and he longed to be outside, preferably on the ocean; surfing in the breeze. As the days went by, his need for freedom became greater and greater. He was suffocating.

Like every other non-medical person in the rec. room he was dressed in pajamas and a robe; a uniform for the sick, singling him out as being broken which, he thought sadly, he was. The elements of Dan Williams as was had been de-constructed and put back together piece by piece, like cleaning a car engine with a toothbrush. The mechanics, as Doc Bergman now referred to himself and the rest of the hospital staff, were doing a fair job and whilst he would never be a racing model perhaps he would at least be roadworthy.

He stared at his surroundings; cheap sofas and chairs - none of which matched - were intermingled with tables covered in an assortment of items provided for the relaxation and therapy of the patients; books, puzzles, magazines and even the odd paper cup lay discarded amongst the trivia. The only nod to modern living was a vending machine looking lost in one corner, bright light beckoning with no takers. Blending it all together was a heavily worn gray carpet of industrial quality that Danny had noted some time ago was covered in an assortment of faded stains, the origin of which he didn't like to guess. Bland; just like everything else there and echoing his life `inside'.

He ran a hand through thick wiry curls and felt the damaged tendons straining. Holding his palm out he rolled the knitting wrist; clenching and un-clenching his fingers and testing its strength. He would need to do some more work if he was to hold a gun again without pain. The idea of arming himself gave him pause for thought - there was still a whisper of doubt trickling through his mind. Could he ever be considered capable of handling one in a dangerous situation? He hoped so. Reality would come soon enough - as he was about to find out. Looking up he noted two people moving across the room to greet him.

"Afternoon handsome, how are we feeling today?" Nurse Kakahi smiled warmly at him and he returned the smile with a twinkle. He was pleased to see her again, if only to break up the monotony of the day and something in the way she addressed him promised more interesting things for the future but he wasn't sure he was ready for romance of any kind just yet. In tow was Doctor Harry Bergman, not looking nearly as attractive as the former, but wearing the twin of her grin. He was instantly suspicious. "Well, you both look like you know something I don't." Danny remarked with raised eyebrows.

"How would you like to go home?" Doc's smile widened as he posed the serious question.

Dan's heart lurched and he blinked fast, not sure he had heard what he _thought_ he had. For one mad moment he believed that he was dreaming, that God was having a momentous joke at his expense and that he would wake up soon to find himself lying in a ward - drugged, depressed or in pain. "Truly?" he asked, with trepidation.

Kakahi beamed at him and Bergman replied, "Absolutely! You've been a guest here long enough, I think you're ready to do the rest of your recuperating at home so we can free up a bed for some other poor soul in need!"

Danny frowned, which was not quite the reaction Bergman had expected for one so long in enforced care, "That's great" he said half-heartedly, "but what about the brain vacuuming? Do I get to leave that behind too?"

Bergman pulled out a chair and sat down in front of him with a heavy sigh. Sensing they needed some privacy, the nurse patted Danny's shoulder, "I'll leave the two of you to talk. I'll see you later Dan, guess I'll have some packing to do. I am going to miss you!" She winked at Williams and left.

Harry watched her go before leaning toward him conspiratorially, "You'd better watch yourself with that one, she's a handful!" he laughed, "So, what are you reading?" He casually fingered the red dust jacket in front of Williams.

Danny pushed the book across the other side of the table out of reach, annoyed at the change in subject. "Don't get sidetracked Doctor - spill."

Bergman sat back, "You're right, I'm sorry. Look, the good news is that you are well enough to get back to that neglected apartment of yours, so long as you keep doing the exercises for your muscles and take it easy. I'll give you some painkillers in case you need them but be careful about driving after taking them, they can make you drowsy. I'll also prescribe something to help you sleep."

Dan's frown deepened, "That was the 'good' news, so what's the bad? Ah, I get it - you're talking about _physically_ well enough, not mentally, aren't you? Why else would you prescribe sedatives? No one trusts me to go back to work yet do they? They believe I'm not capable of returning to Five-0!"

Doc noted the self-pitying tone but decided to ignore it, "Well that's the crux of the matter Danny. The fact is that you'll have to keep going to the counseling sessions until your psychiatrist gives you all the clear and the department agrees with him that you're fit for duty."

"So how long will that be!? Am I supposed to keep going back to that head shrinker until someone sees fit to release me!? Seriously Doc, I'm not exactly comfortable with all this!"

Bergman shrugged, unhappy with the tone of desperation in Williams' voice. "I understand, believe me, but I have no idea how long it will take, you'll have to ask Jones, he's the one who knows how your appointments have been going and McGarrett will have to take everything into consideration before you're back behind a desk. I don't think you have an option there. And before I sign you out you _still_ have to assure me you'll take it easy!"

Dan's fingers brushed over the table top, finding no solace in the scratches and ring marks on its muted surface. So he could walk out of Queen's but not back into his life, he guessed as much - but at least leaving the confines of the hospital would be a start. He suddenly had an awful thought; once he left he would have to face the questions alone and greet people in the street like nothing had happened. He was **sure** they would suspect what had been done to him, they would see it written on his face or in the way he stood! He mentally shook himself and pushed back the paranoia, using the techniques Jones had taught him. First things first, he HAD to get out. He breathed deeply and nodded, taking the deal on the table. "Okay Doc, I promise. So when can we do this?

"Is tomorrow too soon?"

Only hours to go and he could be free. He tried not to show the mixed excitement-come-terror in his voice, "That's fine."

"Good. There's just one thing.

"And that is?" He asked suspiciously.

"Nothing bad Danny, I assure you! I just want to know if there is anyone who can check up on you now and then, besides me? It'll be rough on you for a while, you should have someone who can look in on you. What about neighbors or friends? Perhaps Steve?"

Dan thought for a moment, there was no one he was closer to than his boss, but in so many ways he just wanted to be left alone, he didn't want to be beholden to anyone; least of all McGarrett, regardless of how close they were. He had to stand on his own two feet if he was ever going to convince Steve he could return to Five-0. He decided to lie, "Don't worry, I'll be fine; plenty of people around I can ask."

Bergman seemed pleased by the reply, "Well it's been a long, hard journey for you young man but no one is more delighted than I am that you have come out the other side. I will be around to see you in the morning, assuming we can get everything organized by then. Just promise me one thing?"

"Sure."

"Promise you will call if things get bad. I know I'm your physician but I also count you amongst my friends. I want you to get back to work so I can get back to my bodies but you should know you can call me, day or night, if you need someone. You are always welcome in our house if you need a change of environment, we would be honored to have you as a house guest for as long as you need."

Tears prickled in Danny's eyes, he was overwhelmed by the kindness shown to him and over-emotional with the aftermath of all that had happened, "I owe you so much Doc…"

"You owe me nothing but your continued good health." Bergman cheerfully slapped his thighs and got up to leave, wagging a finger at the sandy-haired man, "Well I've run out of bandages because of you so I don't want to see you back here any time soon!" His tone softened as he added, "Just take care of yourself Detective Williams - if nothing else McGarrett needs you."

"Trust me, I intend to be careful. I don't think I want to see another white sheet again for as long as I live."

* _And the rest_! *

********

Danny stood at the threshold of his hospital room, staring at the oh-so-familiar functional four walls. He wondered if prisoners felt the way he did, given parole and told to be a good boy - but with one fundamental difference; he was innocent. He certainly felt like he was going to see the outside world through fresh eyes in the morning.

He was going home at last, back to his apartment – the one he barely recalled. So much had happened, too much to easily absorb without jumping into the pit again. He was going to be able to do things for himself; sleep when he wanted, bathe as much as he liked and do whatever he felt like. New found freedom - but with a terrible price tag to get it. He would be alone; no HPD Officer on the door, no round of nurses, doctors, thermometers, pills, regular meals or tests.

It was hard to imagine no distractions – just being alone with his mind. Thanks to his psychiatrist he had managed to build some armor around the memories of his attacks but there were still chinks in it. Twenty-four hours a day was a long time for inward reflection. In part he dreaded it but if he was to shuffle off the images of the past weeks he had to start someplace and this was the first step to liberty - whether he liked it or not.

He ambled slowly to the window and lifted the blinds. Leaning his head wearily on the side curtains he stared at the traffic outside and bit his lip. The day was burning hot and the sunlight reflected off the car windows like a parade of torches going past, one flickering after another as they raced along like ants. Just people going about their business, soon he would be amongst each and every one of them; the good, the bad, the victims and the _criminals_.

He shivered and began a countdown to the new dawn.

********

"Boss, is it true Danny's getting out tomorrow?"

Jenny Sherman, petite powerhouse and self-appointed mother-figure to the men of Five-0, had a smile on her face that could only be described as 'sunny'. She was standing in the doorway to McGarrett's office, auburn hair bobbed to perfection and slender figure poised expectantly on the entrance as though waiting for permission to enter. Her heart was thumping as she waited for, what she hoped, was an affirmative to her question. She couldn't help overhearing part of her boss' recent conversation with Doctor Bergman and put two and two together in the hope it made four.

The grin on Steve's face told her everything she wanted to know, she clapped her hands in delight and rushed out to tell the others. Before she got four feet from his door she had already decided what she would bake Danny as a homecoming treat.

Behind her Steve's smile remained briefly, dropping swiftly as harsh memories surfaced. It had been tough but they had come through. _So far_. He thought back to when he first heard his Second-in-Command was missing, of the panicked searching and his eventually being found, of the horrifying revelation of his assaults and the resultant amnesia. The times sitting and sleeping by his friend's bedside, wracking his brain to see if he could do more to help, feeling impotent at his memory loss and facing the possibility that Danny Williams had gone forever. Thoughts of cases he and the rest of the team had faced in Williams' absence and how much he missed the young man's valuable contribution; of the hours he sat up in the office, alone, with no tousled-headed interruption at midnight for coffee or cold Chinese takeout. He closed his eyes as the vision of Danny stepping out in front of the car came blasting back into his mind, his shock at the fugues and yet again belief that his friend was damaged beyond repair.

Worst of all was the abduction; right from under their noses Danno had been snatched – in front of so many witnesses, taken by the very sadists he should have protected him from. The relief of finding him alive then torn to shreds as the hook dragged him so alarmingly over board into the depths of the ocean. He still felt the brush of his fingers in the empty air where Danno should have been. He thought both of them would die in the vast blue nothing and was stunned at how the possibility of losing his friend gave him the strength to pull them out of such a dire situation. It was touch and go, but once again the incredible young man had come through. The last thoughts McGarrett had were of Sam Baxter telling him about the sexual violations and then Dan himself collapsing in a heap and suggesting he was to blame for his being raped again. His insides churned at that; the victim made to feel all the more victimized by his false guilt. How could he _ever_ tell Danny it was okay to feel what he felt; _do_ what he had done when he had no concept of how he would feel if the situation was reversed?

He knew Williams wanted to return to work and over the past week Steve tried to let him down gently, talking in terms the younger detective ought to understand, but the further removed they got from events and the more Danny forced the issue, the more McGarrett had to lock down his emotions and he felt himself pushing his friend away inadvertently. He had admitted between them that he cared a great deal for Williams but that didn't affect his public persona, or the fact that he had a department to run. He would still have to make sure Dan was well enough before he came back to Five-0, no matter how desperate Williams was; it was his duty. The desk would remain empty until the right time.

But for tomorrow he would be there to greet him, 10am Doc suggested, along with Kono and Chin no doubt, and before that he would make sure that his apartment felt warm and inviting instead of cold and un-lived in. If necessary he would work late to make up time. This too he would keep private; it would be a small token of friendship between them, no one else need know.

He pressed the intercom.

"Jenny, can you rearrange my meeting with the warden this afternoon?"

"Sure boss, what shall I tell him?" The perky, disembodied voice replied; the happiest her recalled her sounding in weeks.

The warden of Halawa Prison had been investigating the murder of Lupe Tanilofa alongside Five-0; they had suspects but so far none of them had broken ranks, something which McGarrett found strangely touching considering that it appeared the motive was revenge for shooting a cop. Nevertheless, justice had to be served and murder was a heinous crime. The late meeting was to brainstorm the pieces they had already put together. It could wait for another day. Whoever was responsible was going nowhere.

"Tell him I have some urgent business to attend to and send my apologies. Make it the day after tomorrow if you can. Mahalo love, I'm going out for a while. You can reach me at.., never mind, I'll check in with you later."

"Right, Steve."

McGarrett opened the top drawer of his desk and felt inside for a small envelope. It contained the key to Danny's apartment that he normally kept on his key ring but when Dan went missing he had given it to Kono to check over the place - he wondered why he had never replaced it. Steve stared at the small object before dropping it into his palm then popping it safely inside his pocket and getting up to leave. Before he had a chance to exit there was a knock at his door and Chin, Kono and Duke came in.

"Gentlemen, I was just on my way out, can this wait?"

"We ah, we just heard Danny's coming out and wondered if you wanted any help with anything boss?" Chin spoke for them all.

Steve gave a wry smile, "What makes you think anything needs doing?"

"Well, someone ought to get some food and milk for da kaikaina." Kono replied seriously.

"And he's got to have clean sheets, can't expect him to make his own bed when he gets back." Duke added.

"I think his neighbors should be alerted so they don't think it's a burglar, Steve." Chin furnished.

"And one of us ought to pack some clothes for him tomorrow, boss. He'll need something to wear!" Kono finished.

McGarrett laughed, how could he not have known that these kind souls - friends of Danny's - would want to take part in his homecoming. He held his hands up in defeat - so much for doing it himself. "Okay, okay men, you got me there. I agree all of those things need doing I ah, I was just on my way to Danno's apartment myself but look, if a couple of us split the chores maybe we could all get back here faster, agreed?"

They nodded.

"Okay Kono, can you organize some provisions? I'll give you some cash before you go but nothing too rich, Doc says his stomach won't take it and make sure you get some things that _he_ will like - not you! We'll meet you back at Danno's. Duke, you and I will go round there and start sorting through some stuff, get the place aired, tell the neighbors et cetera."

"What about me Steve?" Chin asked, somewhat dismayed at being left out.

"Chin, I've been clothes shopping with you, I don't think picking something from Danny's closet is your strong point! Besides which I need someone back here at the office to stop these women from arranging a bake-off!"

The Chinese man laughed, "I hear Jenny's already planning a cake."

"Yeah well stop her if you can. Seriously gentlemen, whilst we want Danno to feel at home, we can't make too much of his coming out. He's been through such a rough time that I'd like us all to act normally around him, not single him out for special treatment. He won't be back at work for some time so we want him to relax and just recuperate in peace. No big band parades or banners, just a warm welcome and no mention of the case to him. Nothing that will make his memories re-surface. Got it?"

"Got it, Steve."

"Good, and the first person who mentions my picking up a duster to _anyone_ outside this office WILL be fired!"

*******


	34. Liberty with Strings

CHAPTER 34: Liberty with Strings

Danny hardly slept that night. He lay in bed, staring at the ceiling as patchy shadows moved from wall to wall. He clutched the pillows, turned on his stomach, turned on his sore back, moved the sheets off his too-hot body and pulled them back again as the chilly night sent shivers through him. Unable to rest, he got up and paced. All he could hear were machines through the walls, the low-level rumble of electricity as it kept people alive, voices whispering in the corridors, the sound of someone weeping in the distance and squeaking footsteps outside his door.

Eventually he took to sitting in his `staring chair', the one he had become accustomed to looking out of the window from. He wrapped a knitted blanket around his shoulders, clasped his arms about his chest and rested his tortured foot on the painted sill before contemplating the sprinkle of stars outside; those pin pricks of illumination whose brilliance hadn't been smothered by the raw lights of Honolulu. Time passed but not fast enough. Torn between anticipatory excitement and trepidation he recalled a similar feeling as a child sitting sentinel on the top of the stairs, waiting for a sign that Santa Claus was bringing him gifts but alternately terrified he would witness something he wasn't supposed to. He never did get to see the red suit or the flowing white beard but regular as clockwork little Danny fell asleep, usually propped up on the landing, only to find himself surrounded by parcels and a quilt come morning.

Come tomorrow morning there would be no parcels to unwrap but there would be anxiety. He could barely control his nerves.

Just past three A.M., sick of staring at the heavens, he opened the door to the brightly lit hallway hoping for some company to while away the hours but noticed, with a small amount of amusement, that his guard dog was snoring in his chair, cap pulled down over his eyes so no one would notice. If Steve had caught him he would have been in a great deal of trouble. Feeling more alone than ever, he closed the door quietly, letting the man rest. It was very good of HPD's Chief to agree to McGarrett's demands to keep a uniform on watch anyway without the extra hassle of reprimanding the poor officer.

He contemplated going back to the TV lounge and carrying on with his half-finished book but the characters were two dimensional and the story didn't hold him, this was where the action was; in real life, not in some fantasy invented by a depressed writer out to make a buck. If someone gave him pen and paper _he_ could write a few stories down that would make a reader's hair rise - and it would all be true.

Feeling irritated with himself, Danny finally flopped on the bed on his knotted stomach and pressed his face to the sheets, willing sleep to come, when it didn't he turned towards the side table where GI Joe sat in all his plastic glory, just as bored from lack of a child to play with, "What are you looking at Mister?" he whispered to the barely discernible figure. "Some hero you are, you can't even rescue me from myself! That makes two of us - useless pair that we are. But look on the bright side; at least you still have your job, who knows where I'll end up when we get out of this, assuming they don't lock me up for talking to you first!" He sighed and rolled over onto his back then groaned as he twisted the healing muscles, "Damn that hurts!"

In the darkest part of night the mind reverts to a deeper level of consciousness usually reserved for dreaming, with nothing to do but lie there thinking of what was to come it was small wonder that Danny was having a hard time keeping his mind from wandering to the places it least wanted to visit. His semi-consciousness was a playground for harrowing images and self-doubt. He lurched from one extreme to the other, playing out scenario after scenario in his head regarding Five-0 and returning to his former life. He felt as juvenile as someone playing `she loves me, she loves me not' whilst peeling petals from a daisy, only these quick-fire images were as far removed from field flowers as one could venture without stepping into the world of apocalyptic visions.

It was only after he started seeing menacing shapes in the shadowy corners of his room that he understood he was half-asleep, his body and mind craving rest.

Slipping his legs carefully under the bed covers he closed his eyes and avoided looking around the room. Everything spun briefly then disappeared behind black eyelids except for the imprinted flash of light from under the doorway which appeared as a streaking line across his pupils. He blinked the intruder away and concentrated on the well of nothing at the center of his soul.

He was so very tired that within no time at all he was dead to the world.

*********

In his condo across town, McGarrett too was finding it hard to sleep. He lay on the couch, sock-covered feet propped up on the armrest and case papers peeling off his chest like thin slices of cheese onto bread. One by one they fell to the floor and lay discarded amongst the rest of the paperwork. He didn't care; he had given up concentrating on the case hours ago, content instead to let his thoughts drift to his current predicament - his Second-in-Command.

Dan Williams was uppermost in his mind continually nowadays and he sometimes found it hard to concentrate on anything, or anyone, else.

Williams was finally coming home. He and the others had made Danny's apartment a more bearable place to return to but there was an air of sadness about the whole homecoming affair that he couldn't dissolve, regardless of how cheerful the other members of his team were. There was nothing he could particularly put his finger on but even being in the man's property without him there felt disloyal somehow, like he was intruding or, even worse, unwelcome. He shook off the feelings as best he could but wasn't sure how Danny would react knowing even that last refuge of privacy had been taken away from him.

Steve decided, since he had no idea what he was facing when he met his friend from the hospital, that one person to greet him was far better than an entourage of smiling faces. There would be no surprise party, no barrage of questions or well-meaning gestures, just a simple transfer of Williams from Queen's to his apartment building. He was concerned that any discrimination would make Danny uncomfortable. He just hoped he gauged it correctly so that his partner didn't feel like no one cared. In the end he felt confident he knew Danno well enough to decide what his reaction would be and that settled the matter. He would meet him on his own.

Steve stared at the small holdall packed and ready by the door containing some basic clothing and shoes they had picked out for him and it suddenly occurred to him that he hadn't seen Dan in a suit for many weeks, not since the day they found him half-dressed in the cane field. He was glad they had brought something casual and comfy for him to wear and not clothes that would remind him of work. It was so hard to know what to do for the best, but he was learning, feeling his way with Danny's sensitivity as he went. He hoped it would get easier since he was a man who thought more with his intellect than with his emotions but the intensity of the assault and its aftermath had broken down some of the barriers McGarrett had built around his sentiments and he found himself hopelessly overcome at times with compassion. This wasn't some faceless, nameless case - it was a personal attack on someone he considered family and that pierced him squarely in the heart.

McGarrett eased himself up and wearily placed what was left of the paper onto the coffee table next to him. Time to head for bed, if only to relax the tension in his spine. No need to set the alarm for his internal confusion was likely to keep him awake past sunup.

For now though there was nothing he could do to predict future events or right the wrongs of the past but one thing he knew for certain; tomorrow would soon be here and his friend was coming home.

*********

No cockerel to crow at break of dawn, just bands of soft yellow rising on the horizon and hot shafts rippling over the landscape, snaking between concrete obstructions until the beams hit the sheer face of Queen's and punctured the glass window, fracturing into splendid rays announcing the new dawn. But if the sun was hoping to wake the occupant of this particular room it was disappointed for the young man sitting on the side of the bed was already watching its ascension with half-closed eyes. He marveled at the color that bled back into everything as it was touched by radiance, even his skin turned from pale gray to warm brown as light crept across the floor to caress his body. He turned his hands over to meet the day and shivered involuntarily as the warmth penetrated his skin and forced the chilly night to recede.

Danny prayed he had seen his last sunrise from this particular vantage point but in his line of work, if that was truly still his vocation, he doubted that he would never see a hospital bed again. He just hoped it wouldn't be because he was at the bedside of someone he cared about; colleague or friend. McGarrett in particular. He shuddered to think of that.

He avoided reflecting about the time, knowing precisely how long it would be before someone came to pick him up, his internal clock had been ticking away the seconds ever since he awoke. For now he was in limbo, neither one thing nor another – patient or outpatient, he was just sitting – in-between the past and the future, and he ached.

Soon they would come, to dictate, medicate or placate – he wasn't sure which but the only person he was interested in seeing that morning was the man with the keys to his freedom; he wanted to see Steve and know that he was finally shuffling off the shroud of hospital and could begin again. Right here, right now – today.

Time marched inescapably on.

*********

"All set?"

"Guess so."

Steve had arrived early, much to Williams' relief and the two had set about getting Dan ready to leave.

"Get any sleep last night?" Steve asked of the younger man as he watched him carefully for signs of anything he should be concerned over – sadly there were plenty.

"Some, how about you?"

"Some." He lied, unwilling to let his discomfort show to someone already stressed. But McGarrett's face said it all and so did Danny's.

The Chief was business-like but smiling, Dan, on the other hand showed an anxiousness bordering on terror. For someone so desperate to escape the confines of the hospital he was doing a fine job of hiding it. He was dressed in slacks and a T-shirt, one casual shoe on and one off, making allowances for his knitting bone. The garments hung from his body, highlighting the fact that he had lost weight during his spell there. McGarrett's smile sagged somewhat when he saw how pale his friend was but he tried not to let it show. "Let's get you home."

********

The trip to the ground floor was the most uneventful yet and Steve's hand gripped Dan's shoulder in support as the wheelchair passed by door after door, person after person, until the exit loomed large. As the orderly stopped to let them go Doctor Forbes unexpectedly strode across to greet them.

"Doctor," McGarrett nodded.

"Mister McGarrett, good to see you again. Dan, I heard you were being discharged today. I'm glad you are finally able to leave our care and sincerely hope that everything looks a little brighter from now on. Hopefully those headaches won't continue to bother you once you're back at home."

"Headaches?" Steve asked, his eyes narrowing suspiciously.

"Didn't he tell you?" Forbes' eyebrows rose in his head.

McGarrett frowned in response.

"Well nothing to worry about, most likely tension since everything seems fine now in that hard head of his but just to be on the safe side we will do a check up every now and then."

"Thank you Doctor." Danny said quickly, aware that Steve's eyes were drilling into the top of his head and desperate to make a getaway.

"You're most welcome. After what you both did for my daughter and my family it was the least I could do to repay you. Well Dan, goodbye for now." He patted his former patient on the shoulder.

"My thanks too. I appreciate it." Steve shook his hand warmly and watched the surgeon as he marched back down the hallway before turning on his 2-I-C, "_Headaches_?" he inquired as he helped the young man up out of the metal seat.

"I'm fine, stop fussing." Williams replied irritably as he took the wooden cane offered to him and hobbled to the doors. He paused at the entrance, sighed heavily and turned to face McGarrett, his voice softening, knowing that all his friend was doing was looking out for him, "I'm okay Steve. _Really_." Their eyes met and for a second something inexplicable passed between them.

Looking deep into Dan's eyes McGarrett wasn't so sure how `okay' he was but decided, on this occasion, to let further examination slide. He hovered protectively behind his detective as Danny slowly made his way to the familiar Mercury parked closed by. A trim white-uniformed figure suddenly appeared at the hospital entrance and Nurse Kakahi looked around anxiously before spotting the two men. She rushed over as Steve opened the passenger door and threw Williams' packed holdall in the back seat.

"Whoah hold on there tiger, you're not leaving without this!" Nurse Kakahi said, addressing Williams as she placed GI Joe into his free hand and gave a small smile in McGarrett's direction. Her deep brown eyes twinkled with mischief and Steve couldn't help but smile back, he moved around the other side of the car, just far enough away to give the young woman the chance to say goodbye properly. He might be straight-laced sometimes but he recognized attraction when he saw it, and the pretty Hawaiian was definitely sending out all the signals that she cared for Danny.

Blissfully unaware of anything but the need to get home, Danny took the object that he had forgotten in his agitation and propped it under his armpit. "Thanks."

"You're welcome, now go and get on with the rest of your life. Leave this behind Dan, don't let it haunt you, you're too good a man for that and think what it will do to your friends and family if you waste everything because of something that wasn't your fault! I think they need you." She said intimating McGarrett who was deliberately staring far across the car park, then she took a chance and leaned in to give him a chaste kiss on his cheek. A blush rose in Danny's face and a tear rolled down to christen the ghost of their contact. Highly embarrassed, he hastily ducked inside the car, his face contorting as the unused muscles rotated into the seat. Recognizing her last opportunity to make an impression, the nurse fished something out of her pocket, bent down to the window and tapped on it until Danny rolled it down. Sad blue eyes fixed her with honest appraisal. "I'm Taisha, here's my number; if you need to talk or want some company give me a call – no strings."

Williams was lost for words, he didn't want this but neither did he reject it, he merely took the proffered paper, thanked her again and turned his head to the windscreen, nonplussed at the friendship offered even after what he had become.

Without a word, McGarrett joined him, started the car and drove out of the parking lot. A quick glance in his rear mirror showed Taisha hadn't moved an inch.

*********

Dan kept the window open the whole way, feeling the wind fighting its way through his thick hair and pressing against his face. He didn't feel like talking; just absorbing it all. After a few attempts at engaging him in conversation, Steve gave up and concentrated instead on getting them to their destination. Just having Williams next to him felt so good, like a missing piece of his body had just been found. It felt right to have him back after so long and for that he was more grateful than he would ever say, right now though he wondered how long it would be before Danny wanted more, his old job awaited him but so far Jones wasn't convinced that the detective could go back to work, he was still suffering from the after effects of his assaults. McGarrett wouldn't push the issue until Danny did but it was hanging in the air and both men sensed it.

When they got to Williams' apartment building and parked up, Steve was watching his friend carefully and noticed him shudder, he wasn't sure why but it disturbed him. "Welcome home my friend." He said quietly and slipped around to open the door for Dan to get out. It was a full thirty seconds before he did so and McGarrett understood that this wasn't easy for him to take the next step on his journey. He didn't rush him, merely stood aside and waited.

The next hurdle came when he reached the door to his apartment, Danny automatically checked his pants pocket for a key and nearly choked when he realized he didn't have it. McGarrett handed it to him without ceremony, and the shorter man's face flooded with relief. Again the delay in opening the door but once inside a heavy mantle seemed to lift from Dan's shoulders as he went around touching things, moving carefully around the place; opening doors and brushing his hand over pieces of furniture, books and ornaments as though they were precious, forgotten friends. If he was surprised at how clean it was he never mentioned it, he simply worked his away from room to room doing the same thing; using his fingertips to re-connect with his life. He never asked about his badge and gun.

Steve was about to make his way to the kitchenette to make them both a drink when he stopped himself, this was Danny's place and it was up to his friend to offer refreshment or not. It wasn't long before Williams did just that, wearily heading for his refrigerator and smiling when he saw it had been stocked with goods, grateful to the invisible friends who had thought of him. So far he was holding up well but Steve and Kono had made one mistake when they cleared up the place; they had neglected to make sure they had got rid of all the old papers the neighbors had collected. As Danny turned to put the mugs down, a discarded pile of them lay strewn across the counter top and one in particular caught his eye. Out of curiosity he pushed back the edge of the paper. It dated back to the day he had been taken into hospital and the headline suddenly glared at him; 'FIVE-0'S WILLIAMS CRITICAL AFTER SHOOTING'.

The cups came down with a clatter on the wood, making Steve jump and he saw Danny crumple with a cry onto the breakfast bar.

"Danno what is it?!" He ran swiftly to his friend's side, concerned at the cause of his friend's sudden collapse only to have the reason stare at him accusingly in black and white.

"I can't do this!" Danny lifted his head and turned away from McGarrett, the heels of his hands pressing into his eyes, head pounding.

Steve put a hand on his lower back and rubbed him soothingly,"Yes you can. You _have_ to Danno. It's all part of healing."

Williams shook his head repeatedly. "I…I just can't Steve, I pretend it's okay but it's _not_. I don't know who is the bigger fool believing I will ever be normal again; me or you!"

"Neither one of us is foolish, you just need to take more time to adjust to everything. You and I deal in facts and hiding the truth from yourself or from anyone else isn't going to change the fact that you were assaulted and shot. I am sorry that I didn't see those papers Danno but throwing them away wouldn't have erased their having been printed. Some day you may have seen them and then it would have thrown all the bad memories back in your face when you least expected it, perhaps it is better this happened now, then you can move on with all the specifics at your disposal."

Danny wiped a hand across his eyes but still didn't turn around; afraid that the older man would see just how close he was to disintegrating. He admired McGarrett so much that his display of emotion in front of him made his head swim with disgust. His temples were throbbing like crazy and he felt nauseous, the efforts of the morning taking a toll on his energy, "I am trying Steve. I want to come back to Five-0 so badly it hurts!"

McGarrett's hand moved away - time to get serious,"I know you are but you're trying to run before you can walk. Don't hide from the truth but you don't have to embrace it either, just take it a step at a time and know that I'm here, whenever you need me.

You must know how badly we all miss you. It's not the same without your solid police work and terrible jokes, but I am determined to wait until the time is right. If you come back too soon there's every chance you will come across a situation that will throw you Danno and I can't have an officer on the streets with a hair-trigger; it's far too risky."

Danny turned at that, "So it's true, you don't trust me," he stated, hurt but knowing in his heart there was no other option for McGarrett, in Steve's place he would have done the same. He was on probation now and felt like a criminal.

"With my life aikane - but not with someone else's. Not yet anyway. Give it time, this is day one and we have a while to go yet my friend. Now come and sit down before you fall down. I'll get that coffee if you like?" He went to help Williams but found his hand rejected.

"I can manage. I don't need a babysitter to make a drink."

Steve bit back the acid comment that would normally have issued from his mouth and let Danny carry on. He watched him perform the ritual proficiently, not even spilling a drop, which considering how hard his hands were shaking was a minor miracle.

After half an hour more of casual talk, mostly done by Steve, Danny announced he was tired and begged for the chance to be by himself. McGarrett could see the young man was fast reaching the end of his strength and wasn't sure he liked the idea of leaving his friend on his own but saw no choice but to comply with Williams' request. There was no further excuse to put a man on the door, or medical reason to watch over him, neither was there supposedly any danger that Dan would do something radical to ease his mental suffering. All in all there were no grounds for Steve to be concerned; why then did the hairs begin rising on the back of his neck when he thought of Danny all alone?

*****


	35. The Beginning of The Beginning

MV CHAPTER 35 – The Beginning of the Beginning

Steve promised to be back after work with dinner and let himself out of Danny's apartment with a smile and a nod. Dan _knew_ he wanted to talk more, he could tell from the way McGarrett's jaw clenched and unclenched, but whatever the tall man had to say remained unsaid.

As the door shut behind him Danny stood staring at the space he had vacated. The sound of the latch reverberated with a finality of a coffin lid closing and he stayed rooted to the spot, just blinking in the daylight, feeling both hopelessly alone and unable to make any decisions for himself. For some reason he felt Steve would come back, turn the corner maybe and understand that he needed him, but McGarrett didn't return and Danny wasn't sure whether he really wanted him to or not. There were words left unspoken that morning and so much to be discussed and he had hoped perhaps Steve would use that as an excuse -maybe insist on keeping him company. That thought made him twitch, he _didn't_ need company, he needed to be alone. Didn't he?

Minutes may have passed, or possibly seconds, he had no way of telling. His brain was switching gears, moving from hospital life to home life; no routines, nurses, injections or questions. It was hard to do when all he could see were the four walls of his ward room phasing in and out with the room he was currently in.

First his confused eyes began roaming around his surroundings, taking in the idea of `_aloneness_' - of the lack of people in his space. Next his head followed as he looked over his shoulder and from side to side trying to understand this was where he lived. He had touched his belongings when he first arrived, but none of it had stayed with him for long and he found himself disbelieving reality. Familiar things swam into view but they were strange somehow, like he was viewing them for the first time, fresh colors, ornaments, textures and smells; he soaked it all up and felt faintly queasy. At Queen's the blandness had been all-encompassing and now that he had variety to feast his eyes upon he found it garish and smothering, despite the fact that it was his taste. He had the sudden urge to remove everything in a fit; rip it all up and start at the beginning, just get rid of the past and with it maybe his memories. All he needed was a bed, a surfboard and his books – no more, no less.

With a sigh Danny looked down at himself - being dressed in outdoor clothing instead of hospital garments also felt strange, like he was being allowed to grow up again, take charge of himself; be a man. He wondered in passing what other clothes he owned, he could not remember one item – not even a tie. He had sworn never to sleep in pajamas again, perhaps he would do just that and wear something each night from his closet. McGarrett would think he had gone insane if he found out and his laundry bills would be staggering.

Unsure what to do or think next he waited for something else to occur to him. There was no sound, which was alien to him after weeks of no real peace or quiet, not even a clock ticking to disturb him; their springs worn down weeks ago. What was he expected to do all alone here with nothing but the sound of his breathing? He had told Steve he was tired, and he was but did that mean he was supposed to rest? Did he have things to do? Chores maybe? He doubted it, aside from opening mail everything seemed in order thanks, he assumed, to his friends.

What to do, what to do…

McGarrett was gone, he was on his own; no one close by…no one to hear…no one to come to his aid should anything happen. His foot began tapping on the carpet. Staring at the apartment key where it sat on the table he felt the sudden urge to lock himself in - to make sure that whatever happened he wouldn't be taken by surprise. Where was his gun? He knew his neighbors and the people in the apartment building but he still had only a flimsy door between himself and the outside world and that bothered him.

Picking the key up he reluctantly gave in to his paranoia, slipping on the door chain for good measure. He turned around and rubbed his temples, then leaned against the wall and groaned, his headache wasn't the kind to go away easily. It was the pressure, stress and guilt but he was also pretty sure that somewhere between breakfast on the sidewalk the fateful morning he was held captive and now he had gone stark raving mad, that someone was playing a momentous joke on him and that he would wake up and find it had all been a horrific nightmare.

Was it really a dream? He peered at his surroundings; it was like nothing had happened in this cocoon of his. There wasn't anything in his static home to mark the passage of time, only the stopping of it. No dust or decay, and in some ways it felt wrong that what had happened to him meant so little in the scheme of things. He wasn't sure what he expected on his return but it certainly wasn't `_nothing'_, it was like the universe was waving off the seriousness of the traumatic events. Perhaps there was a message there somewhere but he couldn't figure it out.

Dream or reality one thing was certain – he was sick of it.

Danny was suddenly overwhelmed with everything, he didn't _**want**_ to feel sorry for himself - not any more. He hoped that the weeks of torment followed by the weeks of talking had brought forth and exorcised all those feelings within him but they hadn't, this was it – the rest of his life began from this moment on and it was un-momentous and in some ways that was just as crushing as if someone had announced his return with trumpets blaring and press photographers. Steve had been good, letting him do this by himself, he knew that but he so badly wanted his friend to be there right now, so much so that he even imagined McGarrett's lean body sitting where he had been earlier, hands on his knees, brow creased into a frown as he tried to cheer him up. He had to let Steve go, he _had_ to carry on alone, he just wasn't sure he could. If his friend was there he would be alright, he knew that. In that he was lying to himself but wouldn't admit it. No matter who was with him he would not feel safe for a very long time.

He heard McGarrett's voice saying `Give it time…' He was so desperately tired and his head hurt. Perhaps he would do just that, time to switch off the mind and let it all drift away..just some time…time was all it would take…time… The room shifted off kilter, there was the ward again…and back to his living room…the ward…his head spun.

Staggering slightly as he was struck by a weakness of both body and mind, he reached out to the seat that Steve had vacated and sat down in it, propping his leg up on the coffee table and shifting aside a used mug with his ankle to make himself more comfortable. He leaned back and relaxed into the cushions, too sleepy and overwhelmed by everything to do much more than stare at the ceiling above him. It was white he noticed, like the ceiling in the hospital and as he drifted he imagined the sound of the heart machine and the buzz of the strip light above him, the smell of Nurse Kakahi's delicate perfume, muffled announcements in the hallways and the squeak of wheels on polished floors. The further he sank into his visions the less able he was to maintain focus on the world around him, his eyeballs rolled back into his head. He was exhausted and worn out from everything.

"Must…stop…_thinking_…"

Today was the beginning of the beginning, and Danny just wanted it to end.

********

It was dark when he came to, startled awake by a noise in the corridor outside and the sound of a distant siren in the street. As he sat up straight he tipped the mug over, spilling a small amount of bitter coffee onto the rug and making himself jump even more with the intrusive jangle. He ached everywhere from sitting too long in one position and his mouth was drier than a desert floor.

For some reason he panicked, it was the remnants of his nightmare and this was the closet they had locked him in between assaults, he cried out `Oh God help me!' and even felt a sharp pain in his calf where something had torn into it that day, the scar was there to prove it was true and he felt down his leg, terrified that he would find blood wetting his fingers. When he found none he understood that he was safe at home, that time had passed between then and now and that all those who could harm him were in the afterlife, if there was one. He hoped Hell was a place for those animals to suffer and felt sick; for himself, that thought - and them. For a second he couldn't recall which side of the chair his lamp was and leaned across to the left instead of the right, waving around in the darkness until his brain furnished him with the answer. When the light came on he sighed with relief and squinted. The room took on a different form now, with shadows thrown back at him from the corners. He didn't like that either, it was too sinister for his state of mind.

Danny got up, pulling his tired and aching body from the chair and putting pressure onto his healing foot. He limped around the whole apartment, closing curtains and blinds tight against the night and switching on every light in the place. The wattage burned bright and he felt ridiculously safer.

With no clocks to tell the time he checked his watch, it was nearly eight pm and no sign of McGarrett. Dan contemplated calling his boss but, anxious though he was for company, he didn't want Steve to pity him if he sounded too desperate. There was little he could do except watch television, listen to music or the radio but nothing appealed to him. He wasn't able to concentrate for more than a brief moment at a time, his focus wandering back to his recent scare and the lingering thoughts he had before waking up. He couldn't recall it all, the images just out of reach, but whatever it was had left him with a haunted impression of danger and that heightened his senses to full alert.

What to do? Sit, stand, check his watch, stare at the walls, maybe take some medication, wait for Steve? Nothing else to do. It was worse than being stuck in hospital; at least there something was always going on around him, whether he was involved or not. He felt less than useless, tense and irritated.

He went to the window, pushed the curtain aside, and looked down into the street far below, searching the pinpoint headlights for the familiar Mercury. He knew he wouldn't be able to spot McGarrett's car from so far away and in darkness but it made him _feel_ like he was actually doing something instead of passively waiting for someone to throw a bone to him in the form of entertainment and security. Each car that was driven past was a possible friend calling.

"Please Steve, be quick!" he urged as the tenth possible vehicle went past the driveway and sped off into the Oahu night. He found he didn't like his own company much today, it was bad enough before but _this_, this was interminable. Even having his mind strip-searched by Jones was better than being left to his own devices.

A light twisted toward him. Danny's heart beat faster, **yes**, there was definitely a car circling in the direction of the apartment buildings and it was a dark colored one. He watched its progress, sure in his own mind that he could see Steve's face and left his vigil to take the latch off the door. He didn't make himself ready to receive a guest, there was frankly nothing for him to do, nor would he want to, he was just there, and McGarrett would soon be visiting.

After a good five minutes, when nothing happened, he opened the door fractionally and listened for the sound of the elevator - still nothing.

"Come on Steve, where are you?" he urged into the empty space. His voice echoed back briefly. Emboldened by the fact no one was there he walked out into the carpeted hallway and checked the elevator itself - no numbers lit, no one coming up. Thinking he could be taking the stairs he leaned into the deep stairwell; no footsteps either. Danny swallowed back a sob and returned to his waiting, closing the door behind him and deliberately hitting the back of his head on it as he did so. For the start of the rest of his life it was turning out to be a shitty reunion. His stomach growled at him, he was hungry. He began to get curious about the food in his fridge and then unfairly angry at Steve for leaving him so long without thinking of that. He had eaten regularly every day of his recovery, barring when he was getting over the stomach wound, and this delay was causing his insides to twist and cramp. Just as he was determined to eat something the phone rang and he jumped. Who would be ringing him? The noise was deafening and the only way to shut it up was to answer.

"Er..hello?"

At the end of the phone McGarrett noted the lack of a normal response from his friend, it was like Dan had forgotten how to answer, "Danno? Steve."

"Where are you? Is everything alright?" Williams asked, his voice showing more emotion than he intended.

"Look I'm sorry, I should have called you earlier but I've had a hell of a meeting with Jameson today, we've only just finished. I couldn't get out sooner. Do you still want me to come round or have you eaten?"

Dan didn't even let Steve finish before his query crossed with McGarrett's, "When can you get here?"

"Shortly. I just need to pack my papers up, close the office and I'll be right over. You want me to bring something?"

"Anything and Steve…?"

"Yeah."

"Please hurry."

"Are you okay?"

A slight pause then, "Just hungry."

Steve knew a lie when he heard one, "Sure Danno…I promise I'll be over soon."

********

True to his word, McGarrett arrived bearing hot soup, noodles, stir fried vegetables and meat balls, aware that he ought to be giving the detective a more healthy meal because of his stomach but keen to cheer him up with his favorite foods. When he got to the door, Danny was already there, looking like he would leap into his arms if he could, he was _that_ agitated. Steve wondered what had happened during the day but decided the doorstep wasn't the best place to inquire about his Second's health.

Once inside he noted the use of all the lights and it didn't take his profession to figure out that Danny was on edge. "Shall I get the plates out? I'm very domesticated you know." Steve offered, trying to make light of the visit.

Williams was standing up, alternately rubbing his arms and pressing finger tips to his temples. Steve wasn't sure he liked this at all. "Um..yes...if you wouldn't mind."

As he busied himself in the kitchenette, McGarrett was keeping a close eye on his friend who hadn't moved. "You know this _IS_ your home, you can sit down!" No movement. "Danno relax.."

Something clicked inside Danny's head and he pulled out of his reverie, "Oh sure…thanks." He sat at the small two seater dining table close to the lanai doors and began smoothing out the (already smooth) wood with his fingers.

"I'm not sure you need to thank me but you're welcome!"

As Steve brought the plates back with modest portions of steaming hot food on followed by bowls of left overs, he inquired with a smile, "Is it bright in here or is it just me?"

Yet again he got the impression that the young man's mind was elsewhere, when Danny replied, "What? You think it's too bright?"

Steve sat down, "Yes I do, you'll burn out the circuit boards. May I turn some off? I find ambient lighting is preferable for my digestion."

Danny was staring at the food now, and didn't reply. McGarrett got up and began turning off lights regardless of the lack of permission. He didn't look at Williams when he said intuitively, "You _are_ safe you know Danno."

"Safe?"

"Yes aikane – _safe_."

The sigh he heard as a result was the biggest intake of breath anyone could make without weeping. It was then that the Five-0 chief made the decision to try and stay there the night. He wouldn't be able to rest so far away from Danny, not when he was obviously having such a difficult time adjusting. But first things first, he was starving.

"Come on, let's eat." He urged and literally pushed some chopsticks into Dan's hand.

Shortly after that Williams began to relax. Minute-by-minute he came alive in Steve's company. It was like watching someone thaw out from being frozen and he even laughed at some of the things that Kono and Chin had told Steve to pass on to him. As the invisible ice melted between them and they had their most natural conversation in weeks, McGarrett chose his moment to ask about staying over. He sipped some water from his glass, wiped his mouth with a napkin and patted his flat stomach. "The food was great, I love that new restaurant, it seems fresher take-out than our old place. I'm stuffed though. I honestly don't know if I'm going to be able to move tonight, I ah..don't suppose there's any chance I could stay here could I? I'd consider it a favor, I don't fancy driving with a stitch in my side."

Danny's eyes lifted suspiciously from his plate and he smiled, "You are such a bad liar Steve, don't gimme that line, if you want to keep an eye on me just say so. I'd be happy to have you around – _more_ than happy. This is harder for me than I thought. I feel like I'm going nuts and have spent the entire day either insensible or incapable, I don't know what's wrong with me but I can't seem to cope and having you here well…it kinda helps." He finished, embarrassed at the admission.

Steve's face was sympathetic as he reached across the table and gripped Danny's forearm, " I know it hurts Danno, things will change in time. If you want me here, I will be here – I just didn't like to push, and I don't want to make you think I'm mothering you if you need your space. In all honesty though I'd feel better knowing that you have some company for a while."

"A while? You mean you'd stay for more than one night?" Dan asked hopefully then wondered if Bergman had been bending Steve's ear. Truthfully though and regardless of what the doctor had said he had tried the `on my own now' bit and found himself wanting company, not just anyone's – his closest friend's. It was too hard and McGarrett was the only person he truly trusted.

"Well, a few days if you'll have me. Just until you get on your feet again. If I can bunk down here at least you'll have a meal every night, even if I have to cook it myself!"

"Hey that's not such a bad thing, you're a great cook! But it's a deal, I'd be honored if you'd stay, like you said – just for a few days. I ah..I don't know how to thank you."

"It is I who ought to thank _you_, at least now I know I'll get some rest and not stay up wondering how you're doing."

"Well I'm grateful. I'll take the couch, you can have my bed."

Steve shook his head and smiled, "Uh-uh, no way. You're still in recovery remember, you need a proper night's sleep in your own bed and I won't take `no' for an answer. Your couch is plenty comfortable enough for me, I've slept on a whole lot worse over the years. No, I'll sleep right here thanks." He paused and asked, "How's your headache tonight?"

Dan was taken aback, "My headache? How did you know I have a bad head?"

McGarrett shrugged, "You're deathly pale, you hardly ate a thing _and_ you keep rubbing the back of your neck and temples, I AM a detective remember?!"

"How could I forget? Oh…I did forget didn't I?" Dan said sadly, referring to his recent amnesia. "I'm okay, nothing a night's rest won't cure."

"Not according to Doctor Forbes."

"What does he know?" Williams said angrily and without thinking.

"Oh, probably a good deal more than a cop with no medical training!"

Danny laughed, the quip breaking down his temper.

"So how about an early night eh? It's been a huge day one way and another, you're obviously not well and I'm really beat. If you're game I'm happy to clear up this mess while you get yourself off to bed."

"Actually I'd like that."

"Good, we have a deal. I'll try not to disturb you in the morning but if I can borrow some things like a towel, blanket and maybe a spare set of pajamas I'll sort myself out."

"I'll get them for you."

"Don't bother I know where they….." Steve stopped talking, Williams was staring at him, he'd stupidly alluded to the fact he knew his way around Danny's home without him, well **tough**, the young man had to know they had searched the place when he was kidnapped and get it ready for his return.

"Of course you do." Dan said mildly, there was no sarcasm, just reluctant understanding. "Sure, go ahead, be my guest." He then upped and left the table, making his way slowly into the bathroom and minutes later Steve heard the rush of water as the shower was run.

By the time Danny returned he was re-dressed, having mistakenly left his pj's in the bedroom and his hair was dripping wet. He asked if McGarrett had all he needed then said goodnight, thanked him yet again for staying and for dinner, and turned in.

After the door closed behind him, Steve watched shadows under the gap in the door crossing the strip of light until they stopped and he figured Williams must be in bed. The illumination never went out and he presumed that either Danny was reading - or he was nervous of being in the dark.

Still too early to sleep by his standards, the Irishman perused the bookshelves for something to read, he picked up an old Annual Review of Psychology and took it back to the couch where he had made his temporary nest. He had a shower, dressed in the too-short pajama bottoms he had borrowed, tucked himself under the blanket, pushed the pillow behind his head and began to read. After a while he found himself nodding off, much as he had the night before and he decided that it was time to call it a night. He inserted a spare chopstick into the page he had got to, turned out the lights and curled up on his side to sleep. Before he knew it he was in dreamland.

"_**NO DON'T!"**_

The shout awoke him abruptly. Steve automatically rolled off the couch into a crouch, determined to spot the enemy he assumed was there. He was disorientated, the blanket tucked around his ankles encumbering him and hadn't a clue where he was. Running a hand over his eyes he checked the luminous dial on his waterproof watch, two thirty-four am.

"_STOP_!"

It was coming from Danny's room and without thinking about lights, Steve headed there, kicking aside the bed cover, gashing his shin against the coffee table in his haste and swearing as he almost tripped. He burst into the brightly lit room as though there was someone attacking his friend only to find Danny twisting in his bedsheets and punching out at nothing. The young man had tied himself into knots and was lashing out, thinking, presumably, that someone held him down.

Unsure whether to wake him up or not, Steve tried calling out to him, "Danno, you're dreaming, it's all okay."

"NO! GET OFF ME!"

Wincing at the pain in his bruised shin, Steve walked over to the bed and knelt down beside it, his hand reaching out to Danny's shoulder. Feeling someone touch him Dan's arm launched backwards and knocked Steve painfully away, "_DON'T TOUCH ME..LEAVE ME ALONE_!"

Undeterred, McGarrett continued, "It's okay. No one is going to hurt you."

Amazingly his voice quietened him somewhat so he tried again, "Dan it's Steve, you're dreaming, wake up."

"_Steve_?" Danny began to pull out of whatever nightmare he was having at the sound of his friend's voice, he was shaking like a leaf and his upper body was freezing cold. "Steve?" he asked again, focusing better than he had before.

"Yes Danno, I'm here." McGarrett found brilliant blue eyes staring up at him and the sheer depth of their pigmentation made him uneasy - like looking into a bottomless whirlpool. He was transfixed by the pain in them.

Williams sat up, breaking the locking gaze with his boss almost shyly. "Christ that was bad!" He exclaimed as he wiped his sweat-covered face and chest. He never explained any more and Steve never asked. He just untwisted himself from the sheets, with his boss' help and lay back down, one arm tucked under his neck. "Look I'm sorry I woke you up."

McGarrett patted his leg under the covers, "Not a problem kiddo, it's why I'm here. You want to talk about it?"

Danny licked his lips, stared at the ceiling and thought for a moment, "No, no I don't think so. I barely remember it now, just the feeling of being trapped. I guess Mister Jones will have something else to extract from me on Wednesday."

"Your next appointment?" Steve asked and without seeking permission got off his knees and sat on the edge of the bed. Williams didn't object, glad of the company.

"Yeah, it's like having brain surgery without anesthesia."

McGarrett leaned back against the headboard and stared at what Danny was staring at on the ceiling - nothing. "That's an interesting way of describing it."

Dan shrugged, "Well it's true, he slips the scalpel in and digs around there quite happily with no concern for the pain it causes."

Steve's brow creased, he wasn't sure he would like to be going through what his friend was but all in all the detective was holding up well – considering he could so easily have been a basket case, "You think you can try again?"

Dan turned to him, confused at the change in subject, "Try what again?"

"Sleeping, and this time how about with the light out?"

"Oh, you noticed." Dan's face flushed red.

"I couldn't fail to, it's like a floodlit stadium in here, all that's missing are the concession stands!"

"Yeah, I guess you're right, it's just the first night back here - I'm kinda edgy. Did you lock the door?"

"Sure I locked it, and I have my gun here but no one is going to come in, I promise you."

Williams looked away and wiped his tired eyes, "I know that." He said morosely.

"Good. Look get some sleep, you're bushed and I have work in the morning. And Dan?"

The use of his non-familiar name brought Danny's head around again. "Yes."

"_Nothing_ will happen to you while I'm here, no one will come through that door, you're safe, they're all gone now, someplace they can never hurt you or anyone ever again and when tomorrow or the next day comes and I'm not around, you will _still_ be fine and you _will_ get through this. I have faith in you, don't you ever doubt that my friend."

Danny's hand reached out as though to take McGarrett's as it lay pressed on the bed next to him but he never connected. Knowing how much it meant to Williams to have someone support him with no other family around, Steve couldn't help responding and linked his hand in his, grasping it tightly to give him courage.

"What did I do to deserve such a good friend?"

Steve voice almost broke on the words, "That's easy Danno, you simply became part of my family and I will never let you give in to your violation if it's the last thing I do. Now sleep - heaven knows you need it. I'll be right outside."

Choked with emotion, Danny allowed their hands to part slowly as McGarrett got up. When Steve reached the door his finger hovered over the light switch questioningly and he raised one eyebrow. Williams nodded and the older man added, "It's a new day already and you've begun to shed the skin of the past. It's almost over." He smiled and flipped the switch.

********


	36. No Badge, No Gun No Authority

MV CHAPTER 36: No Gun, No Badge, No Authority

_Creeping daylight meant it would soon be time for breakfast, then a walk down the halls, some physical therapy and medication… _

Danny yawned and stretched out, reaching for the metal bars behind his head to pull himself up. The tips of his fingers thumped the wall, but no metal. His eyes cracked open and his heart leaped into his mouth. This wasn't right, they'd moved him. Somehow, overnight, probably when medicated, he'd been moved to another ward!

Ward? No that wasn't right, where there should have been whitewash there was an enormous painting floating in front of him and even in the semi-darkness with the curtains pulled he recognized the blend of brilliant oranges, burnt umber and scarlet that gradually congealed into the form of a half-naked Polynesian girl, dressed only in a colorful loin cloth, semi-prostrate on what appeared to be golden sand. He couldn't see her face, just the long black hair draped across her profile, the shapely brown arms and soft, full breast that dipped into the sand. He knew her immediately as a friend, she was a print of Gaugin's `Otahi', also known by the title `Alone', Danny had nicknamed her `_Okahi'_ from the Hawaiian word _Ho'okahi_ which meant the same thing and it couldn't have been more appropriate to wake up to in his state of mind. Okahi had been left by the previous owner of the apartment when he moved there and, though not exactly to his taste, he didn't have the heart to leave her on her own again.

He was home. He knew it now and with that thought came a certain amount of trepidation. With no idea what the time was he reached over to the nightstand and squinted at his watch - six thirty-two am, he had slept through the night with no artificial help and no nightmares he could recall since Steve had woken him up. He felt refreshed and, although anxious, there was a serenity in the painting that relaxed him. He always thought if he had been the artist he would have depicted her with a frangipane flower in her flowing hair, like many of the Hawaiian women he knew. For some reason an image of Nurse Kakahi came to mind - Taisha – and he smiled to himself, wondering if he should re-name his nubile beauty in her honor.

These were all _good_ thoughts he reflected and was delighted to note they stayed firmly planted in his head instead of drifting away as all previous ones had, only to be replaced by horrors.

Six thirty-five now - perhaps McGarrett was still there. He was sure he would have woken him up if he was about to leave but then, if the positions were reversed he would have let his friend sleep. _If the positions were reversed_; now **there** was a thought! What would he be able to do for Steve if it had been him that had walked in on those men that day? Would McGarrett have done so in the first place without back-up, perhaps deflated the situation before it got out of hand? He was a tall man – would his stature have given them pause for thought rather than attack him? _Probably_, the answer came back and all good thoughts flew from Danny's mind, to be replaced by his former feelings of inadequacy, guilt and, he hated to admit - a certain amount of envy.

Growling angrily he threw off the disheveled bed covers and eased himself off the bed with less speed than he had hoped. He was still suffering from the physical after-effects of his injuries and whilst his mind provided him with the mental energy to launch an assault on the morning, his body responded with opposing lethargy. He felt like an old man.

He had no incentive to look outside, cared less what the day was like and simply wanted to get the next part of his ordeal over with. Shedding the skin of the past would be harder than Steve thought. He was drawn to the wall instead and touched the painting with his fingertips, tracing an outline around the bold figure, finger lingering over her hidden profile. There was no doubt she was an exotic young creature but it bothered him that he couldn't see her face. Was she hiding, scared, upset or simply bored? He didn't know but he wished he understood her story.

He wondered what had become of the artist's model; was she a brief moment in time caught in Post-impressionistic oil or something more permanent in Gaugin's life? Otaki stared into the distance, unaware she was the subject of such scrutiny.

Danny sighed and dropped his hand. Clouds had gathered dispersing all signs of Spring in his demeanor and he wanted to blow them all away. He hoped McGarrett was still there; he needed the company.

Without bothering to find a robe, he fumbled with the buttons on his pajama top, automatically closing them to the very top. Peeking first through the crack in the door to see he wasn't disturbing his house guest he padded out to the living area barefooted.

The smile that met him was genuine and Williams felt some of the melancholy lift with the glass of fresh orange that was pressed into his hands and the obvious affection flowing from his friend. "Morning Danno, how did you sleep?" McGarrett was dressed and making himself busy in the kitchen buttering some toast.

"Oh thanks." Dan replied as he grabbed the chilled drink. "I guess I slept okay, so far as I remember…" He sipped the juice, the cold trickling down the back of his throat and lubricating his body as it went, sharp citrus acting like an alarm clock on his system.

"You want toast and coffee or something else? I can make you bacon, eggs and waffles if you like, I think Kono stocked you out."

Toast, coffee, bacon, eggs, waffles…r_eal_ food! His stomach growled with the smells the words conjured up and his mouth began salivating. Could he decide? Was he allowed such rich fare with his stomach the way it was? He barely remembered what decision making was like; bacon…eggs…

"Hey bruddah, you fallen asleep on me?" Steve peered at him through a stray dark brown bang that flopped over his blue eyes.

"What? Sorry, no…I mean yes I'd love something like that but only if it's not too much trouble." He thought for a moment and added, "But don't you want to go jogging instead Steve? It's pretty late in the morning for you."

"That's okay, I ought to have plenty of exercise leaping around the office today. Jenny seems determined to make me run from appointment to appointment nowadays. With no one else to do it I need two of me just to cope!"

Dan's face fell. _HE_ was the one who would normally back up McGarrett, that's why he was employed; take the burden off the boss, field calls, be his eyes and ears at meetings to free him up, run around for him, do the leg work and be the confidante he needed. He was useless like this and Steve was paying the penalty.

McGarrett saw the crestfallen look appear and knew he'd stepped on a miniature land mine again, he ought to take more care around Williams until things were back to normal, "God Danno I didn't mean it to come out like that. It's not that bad, honestly. I can cope until you return to work. It's just..you're invaluable."

Danny moved to the table and sat down, ignoring the praise. "That's okay. I should be the one to apologize, I know it's tough on you and not being able to come back sooner is frustrating for us both. I want to, truly I do but you said yourself you need me cleared before I can return to duty - which hopefully will be soon."

McGarrett decided to let it go, he couldn't give reassurances where there were none. "Let's forget I ever mentioned it. Come on, I'll make you something to eat. Want to wash up while I do? It won't be long."

"Sure." Recognizing the end of the discussion Dan nodded, drank down the remnants of the orange and retreated to the bathroom to refresh himself.

******

Breakfast was delicious and despite his earlier faux pas Steve responded easily and concisely to Williams' questions about current cases, trying not to give the impression he was brushing Danny off with no details but at the same time careful not to upset the sidelined detective with too much information about things he would never be involved in. He felt the interest pouring off him when discussing their work and yet again missed his second-in-command's input. Williams had a keen intellect and his involvement was sorely missed.

After a companionable repast they cleared away and reluctantly McGarrett announced he had to go. If he wasn't careful it would be a late start for him and he had much too much to do without compounding the problem by easing his worry staying with Danny.

"What will you do today Danno?" Steve asked as he paused on the threshold of the apartment and examined his friend's face for signs of anxiety.

"I don't know, not much _to_ do around here."

Steve patted his shoulder, "Look, it's not easy for you but try to get some rest. I know you think it's enforced and in some ways it is but it's also in your best interests if you want to come back to work sooner rather than later." He turned to leave, hating the fact that he had to go but not letting it show.

"Sure. See you later." A few seconds later however Dan called McGarrett back, stealing a few more moments in the older man's company, "Steve?!"

"Yeah Danno?" McGarrett twisted around on his heels, not keen to witness the lost look on Williams' face or let his own concern slip beneath the mask.

When it came down to it Danny couldn't say what was really inside him – didn't dare let his friend see the wounds in his soul, he licked his lips and his gaze briefly dropped toward the carpet, hoping that Steve wouldn't know how tempted he was to ask him to stay. He could do this…he would survive this ordeal and with it regain his self-respect. "Thanks for breakfast."

"You're welcome but for that I'll expect dinner to be on the table when I get back!" He grinned and was rewarded by a truly warm smile from Williams that delighted him.

*******

Dan couldn't help watching for Steve's car as it exited the grounds. He felt a tightness in his chest he couldn't easily explain when the Mercury disappeared from view but had to get on with it.

Most of the next half hour he spent puttering about; moving things that he felt ought to be placed elsewhere, throwing out the old newspapers he couldn't bear to view and just staring into space or his ice box.

The day was stunning outside and he suddenly longed to be in the fresh air. He contemplated taking the company car that Steve told him was parked downstairs in case he needed it but felt more like ambling than driving. Looking at the cane tucked in a corner by the door he decided to soak up some sunshine and go for a walk. His legs were stiff, as was his back, but that was lack of exercise for two days - he needed to move his muscles.

He changed into a pair of jeans and a long-sleeved shirt, slipped his keys into his back pocket, took a couple of painkillers to deaden what he knew would be due to him after exertion and stepped outside the door.

He could walk much better now that his big toe was almost knitted but he still avoided putting pressure on it and couldn't help limping after standing around for too long. The fracture had been a bad one and it was still causing him pain from time to time, he mostly walked on the side of his foot, straining back and spine in the process. Danny leaned on the cane and pressed the button to go down. His jaw clenched as he watched the numbers rise and his foot tapped on the floor, irritated for no reason he could fathom.

When it reached his level the door pinged open and he jumped - inside was a man dressed in black leathers with a motorcycle helmet on, the visor down over his face. Danny swallowed a lump in his throat and it was only when the man flipped up the reflective plastic that he recognized his neighbor's grandson, Shelby, who usually called to get his elderly relative's shopping list for the week. "Hey Mister Williams long time no see, how's it hanging?" The young man asked as he stepped out of Danny's way.

"Er..hi Shelby," Was all Dan could manage before the kid was gone, completely disinterested in how the detective _actually_ was. "I'm…fine." He finished quietly to the retreating man's back and shook his head. There was the feeling of being `old' again; when younger men couldn't care less about anything but the current thing and men Williams' age - could.

He stepped inside the metal box and rode to the ground floor feeling faintly claustrophobic. The trip lasted less than a minute but felt longer as he stared at the four walls.

At last the door opened and he moved through the hallway to the glass exit wondering which way to go. If he took a trip to the right of the block he would pass gardens and houses, to the left - shops and businesses. He opted for the gardens and began to stroll using the cane to relieve the pressure on his toe. Chad Jones had a theory for why it was taking such a long time for the bone to heal, he told Danny he believed that a part of him didn't want it to get better, that he was hugging the damage close to him like a war wound and considered it part of his `punishment' for allowing Ray Kaika to rape him. Danny said it was rubbish, until Jones reminded him that his brain had already tricked him once by causing him to lose his memory. After that the officer didn't contradict him again, he merely accepted that part of his unconscious was going to put up a fight rather than give himself permission to release the pain.

As he walked along, self-consciously hunching in on himself rather than his normal head-held-high posture, he knew Jones was right in so many ways and hated both of them for it but himself most of all. He didn't look at people as he passed them but noted they way they stared at him from the corner of his eye, he knew it was the cane they were looked at but somehow his mind convinced him they were judging him – top to bottom - head to toe, assessing what they saw and concluding who-knew-what about him. He found the paranoia ridiculous and tried hard to utilize the tricks his psychiatrist taught him to change his mood around. It took a while but eventually began to work.

There was a dislocated beauty in the world around him and the further he walked the less populated it got and the more relaxed he became, shedding the self-flagellating and paranoid thoughts like leaves in the Fall. Unwilling at first, he soon began to breathe deeply and enjoy the smells and sounds of his paradise home - he could even detect the faint traces of salt in the air and longed for the feel of a surf board under him, the smell of wax and the power of the waves curling around his body. He couldn't wait to get back to his beloved ocean, perhaps even more than Five-0, and wanted to pit his abilities against the Banzai Pipeline once more; muscles pushing against powerful fleeting grottoes of turquoise and white, twisting with them to their destination and covering himself with tingling spray before diving through the waves to shore.

Danny sighed - just thinking about it made him determined to do his best at the counseling session the next day. He wanted his life back so badly it was like a gnawing ache in his gut.

Breathing deeply, he stopped for a moment and looked to the fair-weather sky where a swathe of azure blue festooned with cirrus clouds lazily drifted high above where he stood. Life was a miracle of contradictions, counterpoints and balances – here he was, at ground level, baking in the warm sunshine where a chilled beer would soon turn warm and yet thousands of feet above him ice crystals were packed into wisps of white and yet they were closer to the sun than he was! It was truly a strange and enchanting world.

Dan moved on, still marveling at the sights and sounds but beginning to enjoy himself more than he could have hoped. It was good to feel free again and let new thoughts populate his mind after stagnating for so long.

As he turned a corner he found himself on one of the better streets in the neighborhood, large modern detached properties with manicured front lawns lined both sides of the wide road leading up to a dead end which backed onto a stand of native trees and pedestrian access to a public park. He decided to stroll in that direction and find himself somewhere to perch and rest. All was quiet; everyone, it appeared, having either gone to work or out enjoying the Tropical day.

Stepping from sunshine to shade made him shiver, the buildings dissecting the rays of the giant gold orb and casting shadows on the sidewalk. As he made the decision to cross the road back into the warming light a movement caught his eye and he paused. At the far end of the street where the last property backed onto the park, someone was walking up and down along the side passage, half-hidden by bushes. Danny was instantly suspicious of what looked at first glance to be a youth casing the place. The cop in him was singing and he decided to take a closer look, instinct clouding all sense.

Staying on the shadier side, he stuck close to the fence line trying to make himself as unobtrusive as possible. There was definitely something going on. The lack of observers and proximity to the park would give someone the perfect opportunity to break and enter.

From his steadily closing distance he could see the person was just a kid, no more than sixteen or seventeen. It was hard to see what he looked like because of a red baseball cap pulled down low over his eyes but a shock of dark hair draped his neck. Not seeing anyone else, Danny decided to give a warning before he witnessed anything more serious than trespassing. Afterwards he would find a pay phone and call it in, just in case.

"Hey kid!" he shouted, and surprised himself with the strength of his own voice.

The boy leaped about a foot in the air and turned on him, face a picture of shock. He was Chinese and, Dan noted to his satisfaction, he was correct about his age; late teens, no older. He walked up to the pristine wooden fence and peered over the side. "This your house?" he asked casually, feeling confident his first assessment was correct but wanting the youth to speak for himself.

The kid's eyes narrowed and Williams felt him sizing him up. Danny was a good eight inches taller than the wiry boy and weighed a lot heavier, nevertheless his head was spinning with possible scenarios but he kept his voice calm, controlled and authoritative. _He could do this_. This was what he became a policeman for; to stop things from happening, not mop up the pieces after the crime had been committed. In some ways he missed the beat for that very reason.

"So mista, what's it to you?" The kid's eyes darted to the right, Danny noticed it and wasn't sure why but he felt less confident all of a sudden.

"Oh, just wondering why you're not in class." Dan said, his eyes automatically checking the opposite side of the house for any sign of accomplices.

The youngster struck a nonchalant pose and scoffed,"Yeah well it's my day off see. Anyways I don't need to ansa to no busy body I gotta right to be here!"

Danny wasn't fazed by the casual demeanor, he could sense something was wrong and it was making him fractious."Maybe you have, and maybe you _haven't_. I'd like to see you open the door if you do live here. Got a key?"

The boy shrugged and pushed the cap back off his face, affording Williams a fine view of his features which he noted carefully. The oriental shrugged. "My friend lives here, he should be home anytime, I'm waiting for him."

Danny carefully sidled up to the gate, his cane clicking against the fence. "Oh I see, then you won't mind if I just wait out here and see you're okay. I wouldn't want anything to happen to you so close to the park, this place isn't the safest you know."

The boy looked genuinely perplexed, trying to assimilate what Williams had just said. When he did reply he spoke louder than before, like he was warning someone, "Wha'? How would you know? Are you a _COP_ mista?!"

When the boy raised his voice on the word `cop' all the hackles rose on the back of Danny's neck and he felt his pulse begin racing. He also saw something slip down the kid's sleeve and drop into his hand, it was a tire iron. Now he could smell trouble and his heart was pounding hard in his chest. From out of the shadows two large figures appeared and walked towards him. Together the three formed an unlikely alliance.

"Trouble?" One of the men said; they were still young, maybe early twenties but husky, tall surfer types with broad chests and a heavy musculature. One was haole with a shock of strawberry blond hair over his ears that looked unwashed and a smattering of freckles across his broad nose; the other was Hawaiian with thick wiry black hair who looked like an aspiring body builder. Both rough men had large lead pipes in their hands and whilst they weren't hefting them, it was clear they would use them if threatened. One had a holdall over his shoulder that presumably carried any gear they needed to effect entry into the building.

The boy he could cope with, but three of them was another story. They stared at him menacingly, like a bug about to be squashed and as they moved towards him as one man he felt himself transported to another time and another place and he thought he would be sick with the memories cruelly thrust into his mind.

Danny couldn't help himself, he took several steps backwards, feeling like he had already been hit. He loathed himself for what he was starting to feel; his body was going into panic mode, all his muscles tensing and cramping in preparation for action. Fight or flight, he wanted to _**RUN**_! It was almost the exact replica of how he felt in the Kaika's garage but he forced himself to stay put, his head shouting it was okay, his heart telling him to get the hell out of there.

The blond suddenly laughed, "Can't be a cop, he's _scared_. Look at him!"

The Hawaiian agreed and slapped the younger kid on the back, "Yeah, if he was a pig he'd have a gun and a badge! He ain't a problem, just a squeaky mouse. Let's get on with it and get outta here. I'm getting hungry."

"He could still go to the cops, shouldn't we stop him? I'd _like_ that." The Chinese kid said, swinging the tire iron with unerring accuracy from left to right and revealing a set of large pearly white teeth that would shame a shark. He moved to the gate, passing the tool from hand to hand and back again; back and forth back and forth, each time with more passion than before.

Dan was mesmerized by the movement of the would-be weapon in the boy's hand and his wrist started to throb with remembered pain.  
_Speak Danny…say something_. He was urging himself to make some kind of move, talk to them, warn them, do _**SOMETHING**_. He was frozen immobile by the sheer terror of what had happened to him the last time he was surrounded by strangers, the last time he tried to be a good cop and blundered into the middle of something he couldn't control. It was happening again, or had the potential to. He felt nauseous, the headache that had become so much a part of his existence blasted back with full force and he screwed up his eyes against the painful glare of the day.

He looked around to see if anyone was around to help, or witness, what was going on. No one - the street was clear. _What would McGarrett do? THINK Williams! No gun, no badge, no authority._ They outnumbered him three against one. Just youths he tried to tell himself, just opportunistic kids! No real threat, but he knew differently, they were armed and he wasn't and they had been caught about to commit a crime, they hadn't much to lose from attacking him, or worse if they wanted. His throat closed up, drying out completely and he prayed his body wouldn't betray him in any other way or risk more ridicule.

"Look whoever you are _old man_ either get out of our way and leave our business to US or we deal with you right here and now. So beat it and save yourself some pain!"

Why didn't he tell them he was a police officer? Why didn't the words `Five-0' spew forth from his lips? Reality or nightmare - which was this? Why did he just stare at them?! Questions but no answers - except one..he couldn't speak because of what had happened to him before:

"_Back off! I'm a police officer!" _

"_We know piggy!" _

"_Will he squeal I wonder?" _

"_Cops like him put me away, I ain't letting this one go without payback!"_

"_I'm gonna enjoy this cop._

He wasn't a coward. McGarrett had told him that time and time again when he was recovering and couldn't remember who he was. He wasn't…or was he? Had the assaults made him cowardly? How could he not have the words to speak to a group of kids who were potential criminals? Wasn't that his job?

Danny's only response was to limp back further from the fence biting his lip, his palms sweating.

The Chinese boy howled with laughter.

"YELLOW FREAK!" the strawberry blond shouted and Danny flinched.

"Go on, clear off!" The tall islander added and threw the lead pipe at Williams. The hard metal spun through the air and caught him right in the center of his chest knocking the breath out of him, making him stagger backward and bringing tears to his eyes. It bruised his flesh and his ego but at least the pain shocked him back into action. He needed to find a phone. If he said anything more they might come for him or leg it; if he said nothing but phoned it in maybe HPD could catch them. He couldn't have any more to do it with it - he had done his best and was petrified of what could happen if he caused more trouble.

_Hands grasping, pushing him down, spreading his legs…"I'm gonna enjoy this cop!" _

He turned away, hand rubbing his sternum, grateful he hadn't fallen on his ass as well. He wanted his gun, he wanted to shoot something, some _one_ – maybe even himself. Ordinarily he would have been all over them like a rash, reading them their rights and buttoning down the area as fast as anything. Normally he would have been in control. _Normally…._but he was anything BUT normal.

He was shaking like a leaf and on the verge of collapse; memories his own worst enemy.

"That's right, run curly! Run like the chick….chick…**chicken** you are _pwok pwok pwok_!"

All three burst into gales of laughter as Danny picked up speed, moving as fast as he could without _actually_ running. He felt something connect agonizingly with the back of his head and his toe jarred awkwardly against the sidewalk. One of them had launched the other pipe and end over end it had connected with his skull. He cried out but couldn't stop his forward momentum. Almost in slow motion he went down, hands out to protect himself. The concrete opened up grazes on his palms immediately, dirt and grit sticking to the broken skin and his knees took the full force of his weight as he thumped down hard on his stick. His newly mended wrist screamed out with agony at the abuse and the cane broke on impact, snapping in two; as useless as he was.

"_Pwok pwok pwok! PWOK PWOK PWOK_!" Gales of laughter now - so loud that Danny was sure someone must have heard.

He slowly and painfully got himself up to his feet and when he turned around the laughter and clucking had receded behind the back of the house where, he presumed, the youngsters were trying their hand at breaking and entering, bored now that their entertainment was leaving.

He felt worthless, like so much dirt. No dignity left to him. Unable to stop them committing a crime he concentrated on remembering where he had seen a pay phone. The back of his head hurt and he felt the tender spot only to find it came away bloody. He stared at his fingers, the red shining in the sunlight and oozing across the tips of his grazed and throbbing hand like an accusation. His cane was gone and although he wanted to collapse right there and then, he also knew he had to get home in case they changed their mind and followed him. His overwhelming thoughts were two-fold; call in the cops and get home _fast_. Whatever pain he felt was secondary to the sorrow in his heart; he thought he deserved it.

Danny lurched along, feeling every muscle in his body was yelling at him like a Sergeant Major with a bull horn. As he staggered back down the road with the beautiful blue sky ahead and the tantalizing Hawaiian sunshine baking behind him, he began to cry - the shock of what he had done and been unable to do picking that very moment to punch him in the gut and make him ill. Bacon, eggs, waffles, orange, coffee; all of it rose to his mouth and gushed forth onto the gray stones. He bent double and gave in to the knotting of his stomach as he retched. It wasn't long before he was back up and staggering forward again, tears streaming down his face and eyes so blurry he could hardly see a thing. Turning the corner he saw a phone booth about a hundred yards along and aimed headlong for it.

As he wrapped his arms about himself like a drunk, his concentration was so focused on the telephone that he didn't see the car until it was almost too late. He heard the honking of a horn and a screech of brakes and another blast of déjà vu hit him from one of his fugues from the hospital. This time, luckily, he stepped back onto the sidewalk just as the car halted a few feet from where he would have been crushed to death. The man inside the vehicle cursed him liberally and unfairly calling him all the names he could think of. He was so busy berating Williams he didn't see that the young man had moved round the back of the car and was negotiating his way almost blindly toward the booth. As Danny reached it so the driver decided to call it quits. He blasted the horn again and squealed away, still cussing.

Danny picked up the telephone receiver but let it slip, his hands were so moist and unsteady. Trying again he finally managed to get his fingers to work and dialed HPD. He gave his name, a full description of the youths, the house number, road, what they were wearing – everything he could – expert witness. He neglected to mention they had assaulted him with pipes, although he did say they had potential weapons. He didn't want to tell them how he practically ran. His reputation was on shaky ground as it was nowadays without more gossip flying around the department. He said he would be available at home if they needed him and cut off.

He pressed the receiver against the side of his face, the warm, greasy plastic sticking to his skin and closed his eyes then began hitting himself with it, harder and harder until the pain shocked him back into the real world. "Useless…useless coward…just _USELESS_!"

There was a noise behind him and he turned swiftly, dropping the phone in fright. He was frankly terrified when he saw what he thought was one of them looking back at him; not the kids – his nightmares were far worse than that and as he stared through the booth the face split into four. In his mind's eye Mano, Ratchet, Lupe and Koa were there, leering faces pressing against the side of the scratched and dirty glass, ogling him as their noses squashed and rolled on the clear structure. They were smiling at him; teeth grinding, tongues waggling as they reached in and pawed at his arm. "_Go away_!" he moaned, alarmed when the booth swayed and the faces began a kaliedoscopic dance before congealing into one again.

"Hey you okay?" A voice said as someone tried to grab his arm before he sank half-way to the ground, bruised hands pressing against two walls like Samson pushing against a temple.

It took him a few seconds for reality to kick back in and when it did he felt completely foolish. There were no faces peering at him from the grave, just one face; that of a harmless looking older man who looked highly concerned at what he had found.

Danny composed himself, registering the lethargy that had suddenly over taken the adrenalin surge.

The man seemed kindly enough and helped pull him back up straight. "You take a turn there?" he asked.

"Sorry, yes, bad head…too much sun I guess." Danny quickly wiped the damp from his cheeks. His thoughts were clouding over and he wasn't sure how much longer he could stop himself from screaming with rage and frustration.

"Looks to me like you've been in the wars son, best rest up if you can. Live far?"

Danny studied the tall man in his late fifties; black hair graying at the temples and a mustache that badly needed a trim. It was his eyes that said most though; deep, dark blue - full of emotion and concern. They looked like Steve's eyes and Williams felt more tears well up that he couldn't control. "Sorry. No, not far. I have an apartment a couple of blocks up" He gulped down the bile that came back to his mouth.

The stranger noted Williams' shaking and took pity on him, "Well, if you're headed there and don't feel like walking I'd be happy to take you, soon as I've made this phone call."

"You don't have to do that, thanks all the same." Danny eased himself off the wall and vacated the booth for the man to make his phone call.

"Honest to God you look like your dog died or worse young man! You wait there just a minute, my car's just parked across the road, I'll take you."

"No dog but actually I would be grateful." Williams half-smiled; it was all he could manage. Lost in another world somewhere he gave in to the offer, at least that way he would be back inside soon.

After the man had made his call he and Danny got into his car parked nearby and drove off. It was a short trip; just enough time for them to introduce themselves to one another, the man seemed surprised when Dan told him he was with Five-0 he, it appeared, was a retired book keeper and happy enough to be out of his business to which Williams replied he couldn't wait to get back to his. The whole time he was sitting there though Danny was checking the mirrors for signs of being followed. He was desperate to get inside, close the door and fall flat on his face. They heard sirens behind them and whilst the stranger spoke of crime in today's society, Dan merely nodded, knowing where those particular units were headed.

Finally he was there, back where he started that morning, sans cane but with more pain. The man left after shaking his hand and wishing him well and Danny almost raced to get upstairs. Once through his door he closed it with the finality of a boulder rolling back on a tomb and locked it behind him. He tested the handle twice to make sure before backing into the room and immediately scrabbling to find the small .22 silver gun he had left at home. It hadn't been checked for ages but when his bloody hands found it his heart stopped running a marathon and began to settle back in his chest. He stared at the piece and tried to calm down.

Now he was home it was all sinking in, the ridiculous scenes played back in his mind. He felt stupid and cowardly just like the kids said but unable to control his emotions. Chad Jones warned him that he would be vulnerable for a long time to come but urged him to embrace each emotion as it came and discover the lesson behind it. _Bullshit_! He had acted on a primeval instinct and taken flight and for an officer of the law that was like a death knell to his career. The truth stared him in the face and it was accompanied in his mind by a wide streak running right down his back that meant the end of Five-0.

Heedless of the aches and pains, he felt the anger building up in him to volcanic proportions. Dropping the gun, he lashed out at anything in his way, upturning tables, launching his arms like a threshing machine and cutting a swathe of destruction across his living room floor. He broke things and didn't care and when his body told him `no more' he dropped like a stone in the middle of the carnage and stared fixedly into mid air, not even one tear cresting over his lashes this time – just silence and a huge intake of breath before a sigh. He was done. Worn to the bone with it all and determined to free himself.

The phone receiver was double beeping at him from where it had been knocked off the hook and lay swinging from side to side under the table. He began rocking in time with its motion, just trying to figure out what came next. He wanted to sleep, but he wanted help more.

Crawling across the floor on his bruised knees, he cried out when he knelt on something sharp then reached for the phone and replaced it before frantically searching around for his notepad that contained an important number, one he hadn't had time to memorize.

He dialed and waited for the receiver to be picked up, tapping his fingers nervously on his leg as he did so, "Come on, come _on_!"

The line connected.

"Chad? It's Dan Williams. Can I come over right away? I think I need help."

*******


	37. So How Was Your Day?

MV CHAPTER 37 – So How was your Day?

Steve McGarrett stood at a window of his corner office of the Iolani Palace overlooking the interlocking blend of buildings, streets and trees beyond. The day was glorious and he was distracted, not by the weather but by something far less agreeable.

He cleared his throat and flicked the pages in his hands turning one leaf over another, trying to find the beginning. The document had to be read and signed before all else that day but try as he might he had to start all over; three attempts and the words made less sense to him than a foreign language.

He blinked his dark eyelashes and pursed his lips, shook the pages with a flick of the wrist as though to bring them in line, cleared his throat and began again. Less than thirty seconds later his gaze was drawn back to the landscape outside, he hit the window frame with the palm of his hand and ground pearly teeth together. It was no good, there was no way he could assimilate any information until he had the answer to his concerns.

Leaning over his desk, he tucked the papers under one arm and punched the intercom.

"Jenny, try Danno's number again for me would you?"

"Sure boss, but that's the sixth time this past hour, perhaps he's still not home?" The disembodied voice offered helpfully.

"I _know_ how many times and I don't care ….! Look don't worry, I'll do it myself." He switched buttons, annoyed at himself for getting rattled at his secretary and dialed Williams' number from memory.

As it began to ring he was hopeful that Danny would pick up but as the alarum continued with no response he conceded defeat. "Where are you Danno?" he said and reluctantly put the phone down. "Dammit to hell!"

McGarrett's problem was not so much that he wanted to play nursemaid to his colleague, more that the universe had a strange way of making his gut feelings come true. Danny hadn't told him he was going out, nor should he, but Steve was worried about him on his first real day outside of hospital for many weeks. He was grateful that the men who had attacked and almost killed his friend were no longer a concern but there were other dangers out there; dangers that perhaps Williams in his delicate mental state wasn't able to cope with. He shied away from that thought, believing how strong the young man really was but still, nagging at the back of his mind was the possibility that something had happened to him and that bothered him on an instinctual level. There were other concerns too, each as troubling as the first – that Danny was sick or upset; that for some reason he couldn't reach the phone and with those ideas came more images that caused him to shudder. He couldn't begin to understand how the detective wasn't a basket case after all he had suffered.

His fingertips tingled with the urge to phone again. He resisted. Instead he moved all aside on the top of his desk, ceremonially deposited the pile of papers in the center of the newly formed space, sat down, picked up a pencil and put his mind to work.

Ten minutes later there was a knock at the door; it was Duke Lukela.

The silver-haired Hawaiian poked his head around the thick paneling and, despite McGarrett's request for peace, walked on in. "Steve, just had HPD on the horn, something they thought you ought to know."

The Five-0 Chief's eyebrow rose.

"What is it Duke?"

"They got a call to attend a possible house breaking over on Wiliwili Street, near the park. Some kids on a spree."

"So?" Steve asked, perplexed, "What's it to do with us, burglary's not our bag?"

"Apparently the call came from Danny Williams, Steve." Lukela said simply, knowing his boss would draw his own conclusions.

"It _what_!?" The tall man was standing up straight as a post at that, his stomach curdling as the sound of Williams' name. "What happened? Where is he?" he asked anxiously, tapping the pencil hard on the desk.

"The call came from a phone booth, Danny gave them a full description of the suspects and told them if they needed more information he would be at home."

"But he's not there Duke! I've checked. I've BEEN checking for the past hour!"

Cool as ever, Lukela cocked his head on one side and thought for a moment, "Maybe he went out again?"

"Yeah, maybe - but WHY? That's what I'd like to know bruddah! Okay, get someone to bring that report over here _wiki-wiki_, I want to know exactly what happened and I want to know now!"

"Right Steve."

As Duke left, the pencil snapped between McGarrett's tensed fingers.

******

Dan returned home, exhausted and hurting but more at peace with the world than he had been that morning. The emergency session with Jones hadn't been a good one but he had needed it so badly he was once again willing to strip his emotions bare to the man if it eased his burden. He slipped the car into his normal space and rested his head for a moment on the steering wheel. Closing his eyes he breathed deeply and hoped the throbbing would cease; no such luck, if anything since his session the pain in the back of his head had worsened and he almost contemplated ringing Doc Bergman. *_**Almost**__*_. The pain relief tablets in his apartment would have to do instead, he knew it was the stress combined with a crack on the head but knowing that just made things worse.

Now Jones knew of his panic attack it helped him to understand that perhaps what he had experienced wasn't anything he had control over, merely a bi-product of the strain he was under. He still wasn't entirely convinced he hadn't become a coward because of his ordeal but for now he could forgive himself his reaction. Tomorrow was another story. Besides which he was entirely too tired to do anything but drag himself back upstairs and lie down. Further mental flagellation would have to wait.

He was so focused on reaching his goal that he never noticed the familiar Mercury parked in a visitor's space.

*****

The door to the elevator opened and with a sigh Williams walked out, arms wrapped around himself again as he shivered with the apparent change in temperature. His head was down and he was limping badly; his toe having decided enough was enough with the exercise. It was only when he was in reach of the door he saw the pair of feet, followed by the crossed legs and torso of McGarrett. Steve was leaning on the door, face concentrated with worry and it looked like he had been there for some time.

"Steve!" Dan exclaimed nervously as he saw who was waiting for him.

Hands behind his back, McGarrett pushed himself off the frame and appraised Williams from the short distance. He noted the gait and posture, the tumbled clothes and what looked like a grease mark in the center of the blue and white shirt he wore. He clocked dirt marks on his pants, one leg torn at the knee with what could have been blood lacing the edges and, in particular, felt an air of defeat about his friend that disturbed him. Dan looked like he had been in a fight - and lost.

"What are you doing here?" Danny asked, his voice hoarse.

"What does it look like Danno? I'm waiting for you. Where have you been?"

"Out." The younger man said simply, pushing past him, fumbling with his key and offering no further explanation. Opening the door, Dan stopped short when he saw the scene before him, he had completely forgotten the havoc he had wreaked in his apartment before going out. Somehow coming in on it like this was far worse than staying in it after it was done. He was seeing it with outsider's eyes and behind him, taller and able to look over his shoulder, McGarrett was too. Steve drew in an audible breath.

Danny turned to him, blocking the view as he unconsciously bit his lip, "Before you say anything Steve; I did this."

McGarrett's eyes narrowed in astonishment, "_You_ did!?"

Williams nodded and looked shamefaced. "Yeah. So if you want to come in don't ask me any questions until I'm ready to tell you okay?"

"Do I have a choice?"

"Sure, you can leave now."

"Okay my friend, on your terms."

Danny seemed satisfied at that and stepped aside to let Steve pass. The view in the living room was disturbing with furniture and ornaments strewn everywhere as though a miniature hurricane had passed through. Several of the items were broken and pointed ceramic shards stuck upright in the green shag pile rug like tombstones in an unkempt cemetery.

McGarrett just took it all on board, trying to process the clues and come up with an answer to what had happened but he couldn't. Time to own up to part of the reason he was there and see if that brought forth answers; to that end a hand came out from behind his back and he held out two halves of the broken walking cane to Dan whose bright eyes widened in surprised as he stared at the ruined object. "I think you dropped this Danno."

Williams didn't attempt to touch the stick, treating it instead like a poisonous snake and eventually Steve let the pieces slide to the floor with a clatter then picked up the seat cushions, brushed them down and replaced them before sitting squarely in the center of the couch, hands clasped and waiting for a very ashen-looking Danny to talk.

The younger man leaned heavily on the back of a chair and McGarrett noted the way he rubbed his chest. "Where did you get that?" Dan asked, meaning the walking stick.

"HPD."

"Oh."

"Danno, what's going on? I tried your number several times, the guys downtown said you called in an attempted burglary and had come home but that was ages ago. They found the cane at the scene. What on earth happened?"

"What happened to `on my terms'?"

"I think you know we're past that. I need to know what went on out there!"

Danny faced him, his expression unreadable. "I'm surprised you didn't let yourself into the apartment."

"One of your neighbors saw you go out, but if they hadn't you **bet** I would have. I'm worried about you."

"Well don't be." Dan wasn't angry with McGarrett, more upset to think that he had been caught out by someone he more than ever wanted to convince he was fine. He felt both deflated by all that had happened and defeated. When he winced and swayed slightly Steve was even more concerned; he jumped up and guided Williams to the couch, any hint of gruffness melting as he did so.

"Are you hurt? Come on, sit down. Let me get you a drink."

"I'm fine. Just give me a second will you Steve?"

As Danny sat McGarrett noticed drops of crusty, dried liquid on the neckline of his shirt and experimentally touched the back of the curly head which swiftly rounded on him, "_OUCH_! What did you do that for?!"

"You ARE hurt! Danno please tell me everything. I know you must have gone out this morning and seen those men at that house, but that doesn't explain why you look beaten up or where you've been ever since. For goodness' sake, you've got blood in your hair man! Did they attack you? When they were arrested they had weapons on them, did they use them on you?" Steve wasn't giving up, he needed to know every detail of what had befallen his friend and this, it appeared, was not in the report given to him by the police department along with the wooden cane marked `**Property of Queen's'**.

Danny eased himself back on the seat, holding his chest and surveyed the mess in his living room. It wouldn't take long to clear up but he couldn't even bring himself to consider it at the moment. He began rubbing his temples, index fingers circling above the eyes as he willed the headache to pass. He was confused and embarrassed and just wanted to be left alone to chew over the events of the day.

"If you don't tell me _now_ I'm going to call Doc and let him sort you out!"

"No don't Steve!" Sighing, Williams resolved to recount what had happened, McGarrett would get it out of him sooner or later and he probably already knew most of the story, if not from HPD then from the perpetrators themselves.

As the narrative unfolded, Steve sat next to him, his dimpled jaw clenching when he heard they had hit Danny, causing him to fall. He didn't comment, merely sat there, hands clasped, listening to every detail. In truth he felt so badly for the young man but didn't want to stop the flow of the tale by sidetracking his friend with consoling platitudes.

"So that's when I ended up calling Jones and I've just got back. Now you know Steve - I ran." Danny finished matter-of-factly. Having spent the best part of an hour reciting the details and coming to terms with what he had done, he was outwardly unemotional when recalling everything but McGarrett could tell it hurt him to admit to it.

Williams never mentioned the taunts, just the fact that as he backed off he began to panic, thinking they were coming after him. He hated to admit his cowardice but Steve might as well know, since he was going to be the one deciding whether he was fit to go back on the first team or not and right now his money was on – not.

"Danno," Steve began, "I know you don't think you did good but your hunch was correct and you stopped three criminals, you know that don't you? No officer in his right mind would take on three armed men, no matter how young they were, particularly with no badge or gun on you. You acted and did _**exactly **_the right thing by calling it in. No way could you have done anything else!"

Dan studied the stinging palms of his hands, "Maybe." He said noncommittally.

"No 'maybe' about it – _definitely_! I know what you thought you should have done but that would have been hot-headed and foolish. Anyone could see the similarity between that situation and the one you found yourself in before, stop being so hard on yourself and _quit_ with the self-pity." McGarrett thumped Williams' leg in mock anger, trying to bring his friend round.

"What's the use Steve? I'm through, I want back in but this just proves I can't! I can't come back to Five-0 and repeat that little scene out there today – when a civilian or another cop's life is on the line…how can I back you up?"

"What do you want me to tell you Danno? It's going to take more than this to write you off but you're not doing yourself any favors by hiding, and although I can't begin to imagine the horrors they put you through I do know you're not throwing the rest of your life away because of the Kaika's and the rest of those scum – not if I can help it aikane.

Sure it hurts but it will hurt a damned sight more if you let it eat away at your insides. You're **not** through as a cop – you're too good for that but you can't run marathons until you can walk again and right now you need R&R – and you have to take it easy."

Danny looked him in the eye, loathing the sound of his own voice and the pitying attitude but too exhausted to think clearer, "Take it easy? I have had weeks of taking it easy Steve, I'm going mad with it. I can't think of anything else but coming back to work. I can't reassure you that it won't happen again. I can only tell you that I'm scared – I don't know what the solution is, I don't even know if I believe I can get better even if Jones does – all I know is that I froze out there this morning. I thought I was better but I panicked and a bunch of kids scared the life out of me. Some cop I am!"

"They weren't the ones who frightened you Danno, your memories did and you had every right to feel anxious."

"Anxious? I practically ran – no, I DID run, a couple of harsh word and…!"

"And you called it in – you also sought out professional help and now you understand it was just the trauma you've experienced not that particular scenario. I refuse to believe it will be that way from now on. You are stronger and tougher than most people I know."

"Hah, that's funny for someone who is always telling me not to wear my heart of my sleeve and how emotional I can get."

"It's what makes you a good cop and a decent man."

"Are you saying you wouldn't have reacted that way if that was you today?"

"Hell no! I am trying to tell you what you experienced was enough to make anyone do what you did, myself included – _**regardless**_ of the past. So let it go – put it down to experience and rest. You have to fight and I'm not letting you give up. I'll drag you to every counseling session personally if that is what it takes." Steve's voice softened, "I'm not losing you Danno. What more can I tell you? How can I convince you you're worth more than you think? Show yourself some respect and show me the man I've grown to care about won't be beaten by sorely misplaced guilt. We've been through this before remember? If nothing else get angry with the universe – NOT yourself. Trust me to know you even if you don't trust your own judgment. Don't hide again, one incident doesn't mean it will happen another time – learn and move on."

Danny sighed and leaned his elbows on his knees, head in hands, "I want to believe that Steve, I really do."

McGarrett put a hand on his back in a gesture of support, "Then believe it. There is a one thing I need you to do though. They need you to identify the youngsters down town when you're feeling up to it and when you do I want you to change your report to include what you just told me."

Williams shook his head, "I don't want any more trouble, they were just kids." The hand came off his back and he knew he was going to get an earful for that remark.

"Oh and you think that excuses what they did? According to HPD only one was a juvenile. I don't know how hurt you are but even if it's superficial they mustn't be allowed to get away with assaulting you. Supposing next time it's someone less capable than you or they use more force having got away with it the first time, eh? Maybe an elderly householder disturbs them and then what? Then they could be up for homicide. No, you have to file charges. Surely you, of all people, must know that Danno?!"

"Less capable?" Williams scoffed, knowing Steve was right but still wallowing in the remnants of his apparent cowardice, "That's a good one, I don't think anyone could be LESS capable than I was today..except maybe a short-wetting four year old; and even they could run faster!" He caught the serious look on the senior detective's face and capitulated, "Okay, okay I will. Quit worrying." Danny knew his duty, he just didn't want to get involved. He couldn't hold his boss' steely gaze for long so instead began to pick something out of his hand, grimacing as he did so. "Look, I'm sorry Steve; sorry for worrying you, sorry you had to come over here and sorry for feeling this way."

McGarrett watched him like a hawk but said nothing. His eyes narrowed as Dan concentrated on something in his skin that was obviously paining him.

Finally unable to restrain his curiosity any longer, the older man seized Williams' palms, holding them open and uncurling the gnarled fingers. The skin was torn and bruised, blood had dried around tiny grains of dirt still embedded in the heels of his hands and it looked very red and sore. "This looks awful, why didn't you sort yourself out before you went?" He admonished, face screwing up with sympathy but unable to believe Dan had gone out without attending to his injuries; minor though they were they could still cause him problems. Without asking permission he also undid the buttons on the dirty shirt and checked out the contusion on his friend's sternum,"What could be so bad you didn't help yourself first?"

Danny pulled his hands away and did the buttons back up. To him it was clear the ultra-controlled McGarrett couldn't relate to the depth of his panic, despite the proof lying broken at his feet, "You don't understand, I needed a _different_ kind of help Steve, I didn't think about anything else, I just wanted someone to talk to!"

McGarrett laid a cool palm on top of one of Williams' and looked him in the eye, not showing the hurt he felt inside at being excluded. "You could have called me Danno, I would have come to you."

"I needed professional help Steve; salve for the mind and not the body! Besides which - I couldn't tell you, I was too ashamed! I'm not used to feeling like a helpless coward – how could I own up to that?"

"Oh aikane you're not a coward, not you! A coward would never have approached those kids in the first place. I told you, you're just getting over something very traumatic and that's to be expected. I know I'm not a psychiatrist but day or night you can trust me to listen. I just wish…" He stopped, feeling like the conversation was taking a turn for the maudlin, he swallowed reflexively and changed tack. "Well I hope that man Jones is doing a damned good job, because I want my Second-in-Command back on my team without delay, despite the setback. So do you trust me to fix you up for now? Those cuts are already inflamed or shall I call Doc instead?"

"No, no Doc!" Dan replied firmly, "I'm not going back there, for heaven's sake Steve, I only got out yesterday, what will they think of me?! That I'm pathetic and can't be left alone for twenty-four hours?! No..I'm fine, I just need some rest."

"Okay kiddo no doctor but if you don't let me check out these scrapes and your thick skull so help me I will carry you downstairs and put you in the car myself, is that understood!?"

Danny smiled, grateful that his friend cared about him so much. Despite their differences sometimes he knew McGarrett was only thinking of his best interests. It was hard but that was the way Steve saw life, and for some reason the cut n' dried reasoning helped him tremendously, anything more sentimental or emotional would have been his undoing at that point.

"Understood _Boss_!"

"Good, now where do you keep the antiseptic?"

******

Feeling like seven kinds of a fool, Williams submitted to the bear-like ministrations as large, sure hands explored the minor injuries on his body. It was clear Steve wouldn't return to work until he was satisfied that he had every detail of the assault and every confidence that Danny wasn't going anywhere else that day without his say so.

"I'm no doctor Danno but I guess that will have to do." He said at last, dabbing none-too-gently at the cut on the back of the detective's head then, with difficulty because of the wiry tresses, fixed some gauze and tape to it. Danny winced as the abraded skin was touched.

McGarrett moved to stand in front of him and stared down at the pallid complexion and quizzical eyes, "So Detective, how's that head of yours doing?"

Danny blinked very slowly, the lids heavy as exhaustion teased his awareness and tried tricking him into closing them, he just hoped every day wouldn't be as action-packed, "Bearable, guess the painkillers are doing their job."

"Good, you think you can stay awake a while longer?"

Danny's eyebrow rose at that, "You want me downtown? I couldn't drive with those tablets in me Steve they're too strong." In truth he was getting to the end of his strength, regardless of the effect of the analgesic, but this was important to them both and if he could get it over with he could sink himself into his mattress with a clearer head and conscience, having convinced McGarrett he wasn't totally useless.

"Then how about coming with me back to the Palace and since I have to get to a meeting I'll get one of the guys to take you over to HPD?"

"The **office**?!" Danny almost shouted the word in surprise. It suddenly occurred to him that Steve really _did_ mean it and that meant seeing people; colleagues and friends. People who would stop him, commiserate with him, ask questions of him – LOOK at him! He would have to confront them all in the work environment, far removed from the clinical halls of Queen's. The Palace was where he formerly commanded respect, but now – knowing that they knew about the rapes, how could he witness _that_ on their faces? Once more he was choking inside.

"Yes, the office."

"Now?" He asked, even though inside his head he was begging, `_tomorrow…please say tomorrow!'_

"Sure now, is there a problem? I know you're tired but it won't take long."

"Steve I…" he trailed off, suddenly hearing McGarrett's words of moments before, _`..you're not a coward, not you!' _It was simple; Steve was asking him to leave the sheltered confines of his apartment; a place he had been in less than forty-eight hours, and step into the bright spotlight of the police world where every eye would scrutinize him, like standing naked in an auditorium of people with a sign saying `look at me, question me, pity me' strapped to his chest. Could he be _that_ strong? He just **had** to be. "I ah.., just need time to splash some water on my face and change, give me ten minutes okay?"

"Okay, but only if you're sure you're feeling up to it?"

_NO NO NO_ he WASN'T feeling up to it, God help him, but words tumbled through his mind like Alice down the rabbit hole and every time they landed in Wonderland sage advice appeared like a Teleprompter in his mind's eye and told him that now was the time to begin to step back into the life he had lost and prove to everyone he was on the mend. If he could walk into that office (or limp) with a smile on his face and a brave heart then he would be winning; winning against the demons that torn him apart and shredded his self-respect.

He could do this, he could do _anything_. So his therapist told him.

" I won't be long. It will be good to see everyone after so long." He said with conviction even though he was quaking inside. He should win an Oscar for his performance; he half believe it himself!

"You want me to start clearing this mess up?" McGarrett asked as Danny eased himself off the couch and glared at the carnage.

"No, leave it Steve, it's my fault. I was thinking of changing things round anyway, this will just give me an excuse to sort out a few things. After all, I have to have something to do until I come back to work." Williams said cynically.

********

How do you disguise your nerves in a body that won't quit moving?

Not the knee trembling kind of nervousness, but the kind of trembling that happens when you get too cold and your teeth start to chatter uncontrollably as millions of nerve endings convulse en masse.

Even with his hands digging deep into his pants pockets, Danny couldn't hide the periodic shuddering. He didn't ask for it, he couldn't stop it – his mind was playing nasty tricks on him again. He craved a cigarette, something he hadn't done in a long time, or at least a finger of Scotch to soothe the shock waves.

Beside him in the car, Steve said nothing even though it was clear the savvy man had noticed. Yet again Williams gave thanks to the almighty for the gift of a companion who understood when to speak and when to let him be, no matter how embarrassed he was at the way his body betrayed him.

He was trying to put a brave face on it but half-way through their journey, Dan almost caved in and asked McGarrett to turn around. He withstood the temptation but was concerned that the mere sight of the building he had left one evening as a whole man and not seen again until today as a fragile shadow of himself would break the modicum of control he had over his emotions. Being drowsy didn't help; if seeing a building was bad enough he couldn't imagine how he would cope with the added pressure of a dozen human emotions all rushing at him at once when his head wasn't clear and after a morning like he had.

At least the visit was impromptu; no time for planning – no cakes or cards – just in, out and down to HPD.

'_Do the job – get it done and you can go back to being preoccupied with self-pity._' He told himself and shuddered even harder. He loathed himself less now than he had, but he couldn't bring himself to care much now either and that worried him.

"Danno?" Steve said suddenly, pulling him back from his reverie with elastic speed. "Look I get this isn't going to be easy but remember something, this isn't a homecoming, just a drop in. Don't make a big deal about what anyone says or does, they've seen you in hospital remember and any questions they had then were answered so just believe they only have your best interests at heart. Understand?"

Danny checked out the plasters on his hands, "I think so Steve."

"Good, because you know Jenny is going to cry don't you?"

Dan smiled, "She's probably not the only one." He replied with underlying honestly.

McGarrett's mouth spread into a grin, "So long as you don't set me off bruddah because I will have a whole load of explaining to do to the Governor if I see him with my eyes red." He stole a glance at the tense man next to him. "You know this is just another step on your journey to recovery Danno. The next time will get easier, and the time after that until you're back at that desk and complaining you need time off."

"Yeah Steve, baby steps."

"No other way aikane – no other way."

*******


	38. Heavenly Hawk: Familiar Territory

CHAPTER 38 – Heavenly Hawk: Familiar Territory

Built in 1882, the Iolani Palace is an impressive, but neglected, monument to Hawaiian history. The only royal residency in the United States it had suffered badly after the overthrow of the monarchy and was now a poor reminder of its former glory.

Externally the building was grand, two main floors with a basement barely visible beneath that in the days of King Kal_kaua housed the kitchen as well as servants and a room containing the symbols of royalty. 140 feet long and 100 feet wide this `Hawaiian Renaissance' style edifice was once the grandest residence in Honolulu but those days were long gone and with it the majestic interiors. It now housed the offices of Hawaii Five-0 and other government departments, but despite the comings and goings of ordinary people and bus loads of tourists, the _wahi pana_ sat squarely in the brilliant sunshine as if daring anyone to disturb its authority and strength; like an extinct dinosaur waiting to be reborn. It tolerated the intruders like a dog did fleas.

Entering the Palace grounds through the King Street gate, Steve drove his black Ford Mercury slowly between the palm trees and down the man-made drive way. As they approached the structure the waves of tension emanating from his passenger were palpable. Sitting next to him, Dan Williams was pale, his face screwed up with concentration and the double frown lines that often appeared between his eyebrows were as visible as twin rainbows as his brow furrowed with a worry McGarrett could do nothing about.

As the car turned into the semi-circular car park, Dan's head twisted to view the familiar sight. Normally Williams didn't spend much time thinking about the place he called his second home but today was significant and, much the same as he had done with his apartment, he viewed his workplace with emptied eyes.

Being born in Hawaii, the young man respected the _manu_ of the grounds and part of that spiritual power gave the Palace a mysterious quality that today he couldn't help believing. The covered lanai that stretched either side of the formal central staircase to the entrance on both floors looked like eight pairs of arched black eyes dominated by a gaping maw where the steps led up. The building looked primitive and deadly and it was staring at him like the heavenly hawk its name translated to. He shuddered, shaking his head to try and loosen the haunting images as he wiped clammy palms on his pant legs.

Almost full circle. The world had turned and brought him back to the day before his life changed irrevocably. Whilst Steve parked the car, Danny was trying to remember what happened on his last day at work but couldn't. Too much had taken place in between to allow such luxuries and that truly bothered him. He had lost too much to forget more. He sat trying to try grasp strands of memories that were elusive.

McGarrett got out as if nothing was amiss, which was right, Dan thought as he registered the empty seat, there ought NOT to be anything wrong.

Steve splayed a hand on the rooftop, bent his head down and peered in through the open window, "We won't be long here Danno, just enough time to find someone to drive you over to HPD. Ready?"

Blue eyes gazed at blue and a subliminal fragment of strength transferred from one friend to another as Steve held the look a fraction of a second longer than he would have normally. He could see the trepidation and hurt leaking from Danny's heart and it was all he could give the young man in return for his compliance.

"Sure Steve." Williams replied and wiping his hands one more time, got out of the car.

Danny was stiff from the journey, the trauma of the morning catching up with him despite the sedative flowing through his veins. In an achingly familiar scene he walked side by side with the taller McGarrett across the open courtyard to the wide steps. A thousand times before they had paced the same route but this time was different, this time _HE_ was different.

Steve placed a gentle hand on Danny's upper arm which was welcomed by the smaller Williams, he also took shorter strides than normal, making allowances for the other man's perpetual limp. Dan was both glad and sorry for the lack of a cane but at least they didn't have far to walk. The steps would be tricky but he would show nothing on his face as he negotiated them.

McGarrett in his dark blue suit looked properly attired to enter such a hallowed portal and Danny felt suddenly out of place in the cream pants and red polo shirt he had changed into but it wasn't just the clothes that made him feel like a stranger, it was the time that had gone by too. He felt it whenever he went on holiday and came back to work, that feeling of temporary dislocation, as though you didn't belong there any more. Time heals, people forget and sometimes it is best, once left, to stay away. He couldn't stay away though, his passion for his work was too strong to allow what had happened to keep him from doing his duty. Danny Williams was born to protect people using the law and no matter how much he questioned returning to his job as a cop he could think of nothing else either.

Two uniformed police officers exited the building just as they started up the steps. Under his fingers McGarrett felt the muscles in Danny's arm tense then almost immediately relax as he discovered the men ignored him. Steve let his hand drop, feeling the intimate touch inappropriate now that Williams was back on business ground, besides which, the way he had begun to interpret the young man's body language was becoming uncomfortable, like eavesdropping. He would let Dan tell him what he was feeling from now on instead of divining it for himself.

When they reached the top the etched glass doors stood open, welcoming them into the shabby reception area. Aside from the murmur of voices no one could be seen, just a ghost-like side view of someone disappearing through a thick door at the end of hall and the back of a uniformed guard.

Inside was cool away from the glare of the sun and the heat of the day. The unpolished wooden planks echoed at the sound of their feet and yet another staircase beckoned, this one leading up as though to heaven as the light poured in from the second floor landing window urging them onward.

Not so long ago McGarrett, most often accompanied by his associate, would leap up those koa wood treads with their walnut and kamani trim, two steps at a time. Today however Steve casually ambled up, effecting a relaxed posture he didn't feel. Williams tagged along feeling twenty years older than his age as he grabbed ahold of the handrail and dragged one foot in front of the other.

"You'll be fine Danno." Was McGarrett's last word to the man next to him as they arrived at their destination. From there on in the Five-0 Chief was all business, stepping into work mode the moment he reached the door marked FIVE-O.

With no warning that their boss would be accompanied by such a painfully welcome visitor, as soon as the pair walked in there was a rolling cascade of silence, the final audible note being two keys of a typewriter depressed somewhere in the far corner of the office that were so poignant they could have been part of a Hitchcock movie.

When the information sank in that the person standing in the doorway was indeed who they thought it was, the sound started up again heralded by an ear-splittingly loud shriek of "DANNY!" that erupted from Jenny Sherman's desk followed by a shifting of air as bodies moved toward them, all talking at once.

If the cold exterior of the Palace had caused Williams to feel so anxious about this visit, the steam train style barrage of warmth that rushed at him full speed inside was the complete opposite, sending messages throughout his body that could almost become embarrassing.

Steve stood to one side as what seemed like a human tidal wave crashed toward his detective and silently prayed that his charge could cope with it in his condition. He was a solid, immovable presence that watched over the proceedings ready to call a halt should Williams require it but determined not to do so unless absolutely necessary. This too was part of the healing process, or what McGarrett imagined as such and was why he had deliberately suggested this little detour in Williams' day.

For his part, Danny didn't know what to think, or feel, he blushed becomingly and felt tears welling up in his eyes. When the quizzing started he tried to field the queries but had the sudden _deja-vu_ sensation of being back in the hospital room when Shultz and the other reporters had barged their way in and thrown questions at him like spears, but these were different inquiries, more caring and he knew it, even though his guts were churning. There was no Kono protecting him this time but when he saw the big guy wink Dan knew that if the situation became too bad his friend would act like a doorman at a discotheque. He felt a pang of bitter regret for all that his friends had been forced to do on his behalf.

The big Hawaiian, along with Chin and Duke stayed in the background, faces showing undisguised pleasure at their kaikaina's return but they allowed the rest of the unit to have their fill of welcoming the young detective before they stepped in as Williams' true ohana, patting him carefully on his healing back and making liberal use of the word `bruddah'.

Showing no such manly restraint, Jenny wrapped her arms about Dan's neck and squeezed him tight, legs almost dangling off the floor as she did so, "Oh Danny I missed you so much!" She squealed and burst into tears.

With the smaller woman hanging off him like a limpet mine, Williams' eyes begged McGarrett for help, he felt like the Prodigal Son returning as a penitent sinner and that hurt him because of the weight of guilt still burdening him from being raped on the boat.

After the initial flush of delight at the greeting he was beginning to feel two-faced in front of the people around him who knew nothing of the sexual assaults. He swallowed hard. "Jenny I don't…" he began as tears rolled down his tired face. Instead of saying what he was about to, "thanks," was all he could manage instead as he peeled her arms away from him, squeezed his eyes dry with thumb and forefinger, wiped the back of his hand across his nose then unconsciously stepped back into Steve's protective shadow hoping the older man would say something to bring the reunion under control.

He did.

"This is just a flying visit, give Danno some space, he's not back for a while yet so save your questions until we can get some work out of him! And speaking of work, I'm _sure_ you all have things to do."

It was more order than query and with murmurs of disappointment they each left Williams alone, returning to their duty mumbling and speculating about his health between them. Despite their orderly retreat, there was no escaping the curious glances in Danny's direction, the gold fish bowl effect of which was beginning to affect him badly.

Now there was just a small ring left of his most trusted companions, and Jenny who for some reason felt that the request to return to work from her boss couldn't **possibly** apply to her. She dabbed her eyes with the corner of a handkerchief and Danny squeezed her arm sympathetically, more under control now that the wall of faces had disappeared but still feeling shell shocked. "I missed you too love," he said and gave her a quick peck on the cheek.

She liked that, her face lighting up with a smile as Steve quietly grinned in the background and traded looks with his men. Without being asked, now that she had the gift of a kiss from one of her two favorite men, Sherman retreated to the coffee pot and automatically assembled a tray of mugs as though she could read McGarrett's mind.

Drawn back to the realization that he was standing in familiar territory, Danny's eyes had been roaming around the office until they settled sadly on his own cubicle next to Steve's door and there they stayed. He sighed heavily.

"Danno," Steve asked gently, drawing his friend's attention back to him, Williams turned his curly head, "Do you want to go now or do you feel up to having a coffee with us?" He asked, taking in the assembled three men.

Decision-making for someone in Danny's condition was hard but he needed the practice, he also badly needed to sit down and wondered if McGarrett, since he had become something of a mind reader nowadays, discerned it too. He had to speak before he became incapable of it. "Coffee would be good." He said and allowed himself to be guided down the stretch of carpet to the paneled door at the end.

All eyes followed him and Williams had the uncomfortable feeling that they knew more than they were telling, it didn't help the maelstrom of nerves swirling in the pit of his stomach.

When he reached his own cubicle it was something of a surprise to see Duke Lukela casually duck in and pick up a half-empty mug of coffee from the desk as though he was resident there. Even the mug was Danny's favorite one and for some reason it struck Williams squarely in the heart. Unlike his apartment where things stood still, time had passed here – moving on without him. He reasoned that they needed the space and that Duke was welcome there whenever he wanted but, like a child who leaves home hoping his parents would keep his room as he left it, it surprised him his small workroom wasn't sacrosanct which was ridiculous since it was patently obvious they couldn't just tape it off like a crime scene and wait for his return! His eyes dropped to the carpet as Steve ushered him into his office.

More memories awaited him here; hours spent propped on the side of McGarrett's desk, waiting patiently for orders or discussing cases, late night sessions and early morning panics, bringing over-brewed coffee to Steve after his boss stayed there all night and carton after carton of Chinese take-outs risking the glossy patina of the heavy koa desk as the heat sank into the wood. The boats, books and prints. The doors to the lanai used most often when he and Steve needed to brainstorm. Perhaps even more than his own office, Williams belonged here, in the inner sanctum with his closest friend and colleague. This was where Dan Williams' specter still resided and it was here that Danny Williams had to reconnect with his life.

But it was hard.

"Take the weight off Danno." McGarrett offered and noticed the indecision it caused. Danny wasn't sure which chair belonged to him any more, the hesitation tugged at Steve's heartstrings as he felt the sadness brewing over his senior detective. Only when everyone else sat did Williams take what was left and even this was indicative of how he felt; it was the furthest chair from Steve. That hurt too. By his side was where Danno belonged, there was even a vacant desk corner with his name stamped on it.

Coffee was poured, or refreshed, and only Sherman's presence broke the awkwardness of the moment until Kono, having decided tip-toeing was not his idea of how things should proceed, spoke up with painful honesty, "Hey Danny, how does it feel to be back home bruddah?"

Dan sipped his coffee and grimaced; the slightly bitter taste of the office brand alien to him after so long, "Good, better. I guess. Ask me tomorrow and I might have a real answer for you."

"Sure Danny." Chin said for lack of something more interesting to offer and laughed falsely, his hand automatically reaching for the cold pipe lodged in his pocket as though to ground him.

Mouthfuls of coffee all round. Fidgeting hands. You could hear a pin drop.

"Well it's good to see you on your feet again. You need anything?" Duke asked at last, eager to fill the gap in the silence.

"Oh no, mahalo Duke. I ah…I guess I have you guys to thank for sorting my place out. Sorry I didn't do that yesterday."

All three piped up then, "You're welcome,", "No problem bruddah," "Sorry we couldn't do more,"

McGarrett just stayed quiet, a faint frown on his face, waiting to see how the group dynamics in the room played out.

"Well thanks anyway. I appreciate it." Danny said and went back to nursing the mug in his hands, deliberately pressing the heat against his scraped palms until it burned and stung; anything to remove himself mentally from the room.

Seeing they weren't going to get much more out of their companion Chin asked, "Steve you want that list of businesses connected with the Shanks Corporation?"

McGarrett reluctantly drew his eyes back from watching Williams, "Huh? Oh sure Chin, if you could get that to me by the end of play."

" No problem boss."

Steve deliberately turned to his 2-I-C, "Danno?"

"Yeah Steve?"

"Perhaps you can help on that, you worked on the case.." _Before you were raped and shot_, his mind suddenly supplied, "…some weeks back, did you find anything suspicious about any of the inter-company transactions? We're still trying to find a connection within the organization to smuggling cultural artifacts overseas."

Danny's eyes opened wide, he was being asked to remember something and his mind was a blank! His boss was asking him…why couldn't he remember? Shanks, Shanks…the name rang a bell. If he had his notebook with him…. Yes, yes there was something, "Connors! Stan Connors. I found some abnormal payments going in and out of his bank account, not big numbers, just the frequency that was suspicious."

"Connors?" McGarrett asked.

"He's the CEO of Maui Pulp and Paper Steve, small offshoot of Shanks' but tenuously linked." Kelly offered. "We looked into that company just recently - couldn't find a thing."

"No Chin, that's because Connors has an account in another names, it took a lot of digging, you'll find the details in my files, I was going to follow it up but…" Danny tailed off, no one needed reminding _why_ he didn't follow through on the case, least of all him.

"Good work Danno. That could be the break we need."

He should have been pleased but Williams just felt like he'd let everyone down by disappearing the way he did and leaving them all in a mess. Still, the fact that McGarrett was kind enough to pat him verbally on the back counted for something, even though what he really wanted to do was take control of the case again, but since he couldn't even control the nerves in his body he doubted anyone would let him manage anything much for a long time. As silence once more ensued he suddenly felt awkward again, like he didn't belong there. Placing the mug on the floor he said, "Look, I'm sure you don't need me around, I don't want to take up any more of your time, so if I could get over to HPD I'll be out of your way."

No one answered. They just shifted uneasily in their seats. McGarrett's classic frown appeared. He wasn't sure what to say to Williams – he knew self-pity when he heard it but could hardly blame his friend for such an awkward situation. Time to call a halt and let him go, it had been a hard day without the added stress of keeping him where he didn't want to be. "Duke, could you drive Danno over there?"

"No problem Steve." Lukela replied easily.

"Then drop him back home would you?" McGarrett added before anyone had any other suggestions. He could see his young friend was becoming numb with exhaustion and goodness-knew-what else and he wanted to get him back home as soon as possible. He couldn't communicate his concern to Danny because of the other men in the room, all he could do was clench his jaw and hope Williams understood he was on his side.

Duke nodded.

Like hosts at a dinner party, each of them got up when Danny rose and he couldn't look them in the eye, he just wanted to get out of there and be sick. "Mahalo." Was all he could muster.

"Good to see you bruddah. Take care. I'll come knock on your door soon with some real _ono_ food!" Kono said as Danny walked out of the room, limping slightly, followed by Duke.

When he was gone McGarrett's eyebrows rose fully to the top as he addressed the remaining two detectives in the room, "Well that was difficult gentlemen. Hopefully next time you will have something more constructive to talk to Danno about than just platitudes and silence. Don't forget he's relying on us to bring him back home without making him question what we're thinking about and how sorry we feel for him. He doesn't want our pity – he wants his life back. It's harder for him than it is us, much harder, try to put yourself in his shoes and understand what he's been going through, he needs to feel useful, which is _precisely_ what he is! Next time you see him remember that." He picked up a file and shook his head, "Okay, let's get back to work."

******

Duke Lukela lifted his glasses and tiredly rubbed his face behind Danny Williams as the two of them made their way slowly from the second floor office of the Palace to the ground floor. He had felt the tension and relief in their meeting like opposing polarities in a magnet; on the positive he knew that he and the others in the special unit were relieved one of their own had finally come home but on the negative side he understood how hard it was for all of them to openly face the stark truth of what had happened to Williams, particularly in his presence. No one, unless faced with such brutality themselves, could honestly say they knew how to react to a friend who meant so much to them and had suffered so greatly.

Steve McGarrett had met it head on – like Danny had to – each day he was at the side of his fallen officer he took time to think over the cruel reality of a man being repeatedly raped by other men then left for dead and what it meant both to the abused and to himself but for Duke and his colleagues, those who had been mostly left out of the healing process, it was simply a raw wound under a scarred surface waiting to be broken open with a mis-directed scratch. Truthfully until Danny was back on regular duty no one would be able to move past what they thought privately and greet him without pity in their eyes. Himself included. Equally honestly he knew that was why the little scene played out in McGarrett's office had been so difficult for them all - what could they say to him? The awkward silences were no one's fault – it didn't mean they didn't care; quite the contrary, but it was hard not to think they had pushed Williams two foot from them like a pariah because they were embarrassed to face truth.

As he watched the young man limp carefully down the wide staircase he shook his head, it took a lot to bring someone down like Dan Williams, the living proof was staggering resolutely down the steps beneath him, but had he really healed? Duke cared, albeit quietly and calmly, about what happened to one of the State's foremost policemen and he also felt impotent, like they all did for a friend in need. No amount of words, regardless of how well-meaning, could bring closure and relief and Lukela knew that, which was why he was hovering behind the younger man like a protector without saying a word.

Duke didn't pretend to understand the inner workings of a man's mind, but he knew suffering when he saw it and part of the reason he became a cop was to alleviate the pain of individuals. What good was that when he couldn't even help someone close to him feel better? None of them could. It was up to Danny to decide how his life would proceed from here on in – with McGarrett's help he didn't doubt.

In front of him, as if reading his mind, Williams suddenly turned around to face his seconded driver and a brief moment of understanding passed between them as he stood on the last wooden step looking paler and more worn than Lukela could ever remember him doing before. They were men – they didn't need to say anything to know that one felt a kinship with the other and Danny knew Lukela cared, but he also saw that leprous pity too and felt nauseated by it. Raw in the Hawaiian's eyes it was covered up quickly and the cool composure normally exhibited by the stoic HPD officer-come-auxiliary replaced it.

"Everything okay Duke?" Dan felt he had to ask and Lukela smiled – another Williams' trait; caring about others – it made his violation all the more tragic.

"Sure Danny." He couldn't ask _`and you?_', he already knew the pat answer that would come back at him and the lie that would be interwoven in the reassuring words to make _him_ feel better. Instead he moved on, stepping past Dan and taking the lead as they exited the building.

As Danny watched the friendly cuckoo who had taken up residence at his desk walk past him into daylight he tried to interpret the scene in Steve's office but found he couldn't fathom what the others truly felt about him being there, regardless of their smiles. Dan couldn't blame his friends entirely for reacting the way they did with him; he wasn't sure how he would cope with knowing one of his close friends had been assaulted either. It was all too…_awkward_.

He felt calmer though than he had, his watchful demeanor the reverse of when he had entered the gaping door not half an hour before. Perhaps it was the effect of the drugs; sedating his awareness or, more likely it was the shock of the day and lethargy creeping up on him. He craved sleep like a baby but knew the next battle was to come. He had passed one test, barely, and waited for his next mission to see whether or not his nerves could stand the pressure. He was looking back at himself from a vacant position somewhere over his left shoulder, almost clinically appraising his progress from apartment - to Palace - to office - to HPD. As he entered the car and closed the door Duke was typically relaxed and composed which helped him tremendously.

*******

Driving through the late afternoon traffic was never therapeutic but Danny drifted momentarily and as he did his need for sleep caused another kind of problem – each face in the crowd or driver at a traffic light appeared to look him directly in the eye and it was causing him to become restless. His former calm was gradually translating into unreasonable paranoia as he shifted in the passenger seat. He didn't dare speculate on how he would react when he got downtown, with such close proximity to criminals he felt justified in feeling anxious. He suddenly and ridiculously wished that it was Steve sitting next to him, however reassuring Duke was.

Hunching down in the leather he decided to focus solely on the road ahead and the eyes stopped following him.

They reached HPD reasonably swiftly and Danny stepped smartly out of the car, eager to get in and out before he pitched head first into the gutter. As befitted his rank Dan entered the building first, silently praying he wouldn't meet with any commiserating pats on the back – for all he knew someone had leaked the truth about the shooting and abduction and he could be walking into a sea of stunned colleagues sizing him up like yesterday's cold cuts and wondering where the stench came from.

_No_, he was being too hard on himself. These were good people – kind colleagues and friends and if anything they would feel like his Five-0 _ohana_ did – sorry for him. That thought was just as unbearable as the former scenario and he found himself stretching his spine to appear taller than he was as he strode through the front office, Duke accompanying him.

'_So far so good.' _ Nothing out of the ordinary, in fact, if anything, his fellow officers were so busy dealing with the day to day running of HPD that they ignored him in favor of Duke Lukela - perhaps they weren't used to seeing him in casual clothing.

"You want to identify these kids in the show-up room Danny?"

Whichever way he decided Dan was glad he didn't have to face the men responsible for the additional bruises he now sported, it was bad enough that he would be forced to mentally re-live his cowardice, despite the fact that no one but him would know what had taken place on the street, "No Duke, I can just as easily tell you if they're the guys in the cells. Frankly they're hard to forget. I'll wait here while you get the person writing up the report."

"Sure."

Just as Lukela turned to leave, the doors burst open and two uniformed officers came in with a handcuffed prisoner who was struggling in his bonds and angrily cursing the men who had arrested him. Not a big man by any means, the rowdy prisoner was nevertheless putting up a decent struggle, until he saw Danny. He stopped wriggling and stared at the detective for a moment, as if trying to place his face and Williams felt a cold trickle of perspiration creep down between his shoulder blades. He knew something was about to happen but for the life of him couldn't figure out what.

"I know you!" The man exclaimed suddenly and a sadistic grin appeared on his face. Danny tried turning away, not willing to face someone who may, or may not, have been a part of his past, regardless of whether he could remember him or not, but he knew that to do so would be to lose face in front of a criminal as well as his fellow officers, "You're McGarrett's lapdog! I thought I recognized that baby face." The sweaty, unshaven man gave a huge belly laugh followed by a belch.

Danny pursed his lips and his heart hammered in his chest.

Duke, unwilling to leave his friend now that it appeared something was going on, walked up to Dan's side and frowned. Even though he said nothing the younger man knew he was there and was glad.

"Okay move along fullah, we've got work to do, no time for social gatherings." One of the officers said and tried manhandling the pungent suspect in the direction of booking.

But it appeared the man didn't want to go, not until he had said his piece and he violently shrugged off the hand that gripped his arm.

Dan spoke not one word. He wasn't even sure he could have if he tried. The two officers stared at him.

"I heard something _VERY_ interesting about you mister Five-0 – _sir_,"

Williams' stomach lurched and he thought he would choke on his nerves, his toe began throbbing.

"Take him away!" Duke insisted, the only other person in the vicinity who suspected where this was leading.

"It's okay Duke." Danny was trying to brave the scene as best he could but he just _**knew**_ what the next words out of the man's mouth would be and wanted so much to slink away before the sound of them ever tainted his ears.

"Ever heard of a man called Tanilofa?" The man sniggered and looked Danny up and down with just the hint of a tongue poking from his lips, obviously imagining what Lupe had done to the cop.

"Danny, let's go." Lukela urged and barely touched Dan's arm, knowing full well what kind of a scene the man was after.

Dan's heart constricted and he declined to answer the obvious goad. His eyes locked onto the prisoner's, for some reason unable to do anything for the briefest moment that it took for the words to sink in.

"What, don't you recall his name? Maybe names weren't necessary at the time but he knew you _intimately_, or so he told everyone in the slammer!" More laughter.

Duke went to step in front of Williams but felt a strong hand restrain him and instead Danny summoned up the courage and walked up to the creep until they were eye to eye, his eyes narrowing, the pupils darkening with anger. The officers held the man more tightly, unsure what he or the Five-0 detective would do. Danny leaned into the prisoner and whispered calmly into his ear so no one else could hear, "If you knew Tanilofa, you'll know what happened to him when he opened his big mouth. They haven't found his killers yet – think on THAT before you decide to open yours too wide, history has a way of repeating itself. Do we understand each other?" Danny stared him in the eyes and stepped back. "Okay, get him out of here." He ordered and to the amazement of the HPD officers the man went willingly and quietly, only pausing to look back over his shoulder as Danny stood, legs braced and arms crossed with a smirk on his face.

After they had gone Lukela simply stood there regarding his colleague with fresh eyes, he had no idea what Danny had said to diffuse the situation but he knew courage when he saw it. "Come on Danno, let's go sort these suspects out."

Despite the fact that Dan Williams wanted to hide his head somewhere and die he also felt marginally encouraged by the way he handled the situation, even though technically he had no control over what had been done to Tanilofa and despite the intense anguish and pain the man had caused him, he didn't believe in revenge. He was wrong to have threatened the prisoner that way, regardless of how toothless it was, but he also took some small pleasure in doing so.

Because of what had just taken place he felt more confident about mentioning what had happened that morning and he touched the back of his head where Steve had tended to the cut on it as if to convince himself, "Sure Duke," He said with confidence, "but I need to change my report first. I ought to have mentioned those guys attacked me. I know with a good lawyer they'll probably plea bargain down it trespass and battery but for now I want them booked on both burglary AND assault charges."

Duke raised an eyebrow.

Danny was beginning to feel better.

*******


	39. Forgive and Regret

CHAPTER 39 – Forgive and Regret

Dan Williams stood at the expansive picture window in his apartment, bottle in hand. The breeze from the open casement blew the fine white sheers against his face, shrouding him like a veil as they pressed gently against nose and lips with a lover's caress. He was in a contemplative mood having just returned from another grueling session with his psychiatrist and he tried to find solace in the tempo of the music playing in the background. That was another thing Jones had taught him – when destructive thoughts get too loud inside your head, drown them out with up-beat records; the body finds it hard to resist the rhythm and the theory was your mind would follow. It did the trick some of the time but today he had something so important to consider that crash cymbals and drums did nothing to alleviate his disquiet.

With or without music, the days didn't get any shorter when forced to consider one's own deeply concealed feelings and mortality. The three weeks since his first emotional visit to the Palace and HPD had stretched to eternity, such was the boredom he was forced to endure. He was grateful though for the ability to experience tedium and although he likened the whole process to a prison sentence, he understood that he was at least still breathing – unlike those who had caused his suffering. All but one were rotting beneath earth or water; a fate they had gleefully reserved for him.

Since his traumatic experience in the street he had come to understand more about what he needed to do to heal and what he was now considering doing was another step on the road to achieving that, no matter how hard it would be. Physically he felt fine, all that was left was to sew up the tears in his mind.

He brushed the now irritating material from his face and took a gulp of chilled alcohol, swallowing it down like medicine. If he was going to do as his counselor suggested, he would need something a lot stronger than beer to achieve it.

Danny turned off the record player, sat down and, taking a deep breath, reached for the telephone.

*******

McGarrett picked up the receiver, expecting to hear the usual colorless report from his second-in-command after one of his therapy sessions. They had slipped into a comfortable routine after every appointment. Steve would ask Danny how it went and Dan would reassure him all was well; even if it wasn't. It was rare when something rattled Williams' cage enough for him to break down afterwards and in those instances, if he could, Steve would excuse himself from Five-0 long enough to spend some time with his _kaikaina_. Listening was usually all that was required and whilst Dan never asked Steve to be there, he subconsciously needed the man's quiet strength in order to regain his balance.

Today was something of a surprise therefore when Danny asked McGarrett for a favor instead. He listened with mounting concern to the request but felt he owned the young man whatever he could to aid his recovery - even if he thought it a bad idea and told him so.

"Danno are you _sure_ this is what you want?" He said at last.

"No Steve, it's not what I want, but it is what I think I should do. I'm tired of feeling like this, I want to be able to hold my head up again and if that means doing something that is unpleasant well then I'll just have to do it."

"And hope that it's the right thing? You know what this will do don't you? It will stir up all the memories again."

The reply was practically inaudible as Williams replied softly, "I know."

"Okay, so long as you're sure."

Danny laughed nervously, "I'm sure of nothing nowadays but I know if I don't and Jones' is right about it being important, then I'll never forgive myself for not trying."

Steve paused and wiped a hand across his eyes as he stared into the mouthpiece as though by looking at it he could see Danny's face, "Well no one can accuse you of not facing your fears my friend. I'll do what I can but no promises. Have you thought about where to do this?"

There was a pause at the end of the phone, "I was hoping you might have a solution to that Steve. I..I'm not sure I could use my place, or somewhere public."

McGarrett nodded, temporarily forgetting his caller couldn't see the action, it would be hard enough for Williams as it was without risking the embarrassment of an emotional outburst in front of others or using his personal space for something so difficult, "I agree with you. How about my apartment, that way you'll have some privacy?"

"Thanks, I appreciate it."

"No problem. Look I'll make the calls now and get back to you. You're doing a brave thing Danno."

"Tell me that when it's over Steve."

*******

Ten minutes to six in the evening and Danny couldn't stop pacing, no matter how hard he tried his body refused to quit moving, he needed a cigarette, something to calm his nerves and once again cursed the fact that he had given up the habit at McGarrett's behest.

True to his word Steve had made the arrangements and now Williams had to face the fear. He didn't want to, there was a small voice tapping away inside his head telling him to stop being foolish and call the whole thing off.

"I can't!" He said aloud as he faced the door; unconsciously seeking a way out of his boss' home and inadvertently voicing the inner thought.

"Can't what Danno?" McGarrett asked behind him. The long-legged detective was sitting rigidly on the arm of a chair, legs crossed as he watched the ceaseless movement of his 2-I-C. He wished he could take the responsibility off the younger man's shoulders but knew he could not.

Danny turned to him, folded his arms and tucked his hands under his armpits, hunched over he looked like a junkie too long without a fix. His face was pale and clammy and McGarrett was deeply concerned for him. "Nothing Steve. It's just…no..it's nothing."

"Any time you want to call this off you tell me. I can tell him to leave. All you need do is go into the other room. I can make some excuse."

"No! I can't do that…I have to go through with this. Please."

"Okay Danno."

Williams checked his watch again, three minutes to the hour. Would the man be on time? He wasn't sure how much longer he could take the waiting, not knowing how he would react was the worst. He suddenly wished that anyone but McGarrett was there to witness it, despite the fact they had agreed Williams would see his visitor alone. If he was going to make a fool of himself the last person he wanted to see him or hear him was the man he respected above everyone else.

The doorbell rang, Danny jumped "_Shit_!"

"Well at least he's punctual," McGarrett replied casually, ignoring the highly unusual expletive. He got up to leave but not before he placed a fatherly hand on his friend's shoulder and gripped it, "I'll be in my studio if you need me." No words of luck were necessary, it was all down to how Williams reacted and what that would be was anyone's guess.

Dan nodded a couple of times and wrung his hands together, staring at the door, but making no move toward it. The bell rang again, longer this time and to Williams' hearing it sounded louder, almost like a death knell.

"Want me to get it?" Steve offered but Danny shook his curly head and moved toward the object like it would bite him. McGarrett watched for a second then, true to his word, disappeared to his sanctuary.

Danny's hand slipped on the handle, he cursed quietly and wiped his palm down his pant legs. He closed his eyes, said a small prayer that he wouldn't embarrass himself and gradually opened the door to his visitor, jaw clenching as he did so. He was opening the portal to poisoned memories of hurt and humiliation and it took every ounce of his strength not to slam the damned thing closed again.

Blue eyes met brown through a gap just five inches wide.

"Detective Williams." The voice said nervously.

"You'd better come in." Danny replied and stood to one side, cracking the door fully open.

Sammie Baxter appeared as reluctant to enter as Dan was to let him in, it was only when Williams backed further away from him that the boy stepped over the threshold. He looked around, clearly uncomfortable with the situation and waited for Danny to make the first move. He wasn't sure what kind of welcome he would receive. McGarrett had explained that the detective wanted to talk to him and that he didn't hold him responsible for what had taken place, however Baxter wasn't so sure it wasn't some plot cooked up by the cops to have their revenge. He ran his hand down his windbreaker reassuring himself that the knife he had slipped in the inside pocket was still there.

Sam took two paces further inside, eyes roving continuously for any hint of a trap. He saw nothing but the violated officer and he suddenly felt pity for him. This was no cop, just a young man, not much older than himself, who looked agitated and lost. Baxter knew that it must be hard for him to go through with the meet but had been curious nevertheless, and he wanted to see Williams to lay his own ghosts to rest.

As the boy came into the light and memories burst upon him like strobe lighting, Williams swallowed down the acidic panic, liquid burning the lining of his throat as it traveled. His hands were shaking and his vision blurred momentarily, the room receding as his eyes began aching deep in their sockets, circles of flashing light racing around the periphery of his vision. His heart beat rapidly and beads of perspiration broke out over his head, dampening the roots of his hair. He couldn't breathe, something had a vice-like grip on his chest and it was crushing him.

Frozen in his mind were acts of debauchery that this young man had been a part of, this was real again, not a conversation with his psychiatrist, not a discussion with McGarrett, a statement with John Manicote or a bedside chat with Kono. He was on the verge of blacking out and all because of a young man called Sam Baxter. This boy, standing shock still in the hallway of his friend's home, was the sole reason for his pain. If Baxter hadn't committed a traffic violation Dan Williams would be sitting in his office at Five-0 right now, laughing with his colleagues, mulling over cases with his boss, drinking coffee, playing tennis, surfing with his buddies, catching criminals on the streets and dating women; he wouldn't be subjecting himself to critical self-examination every other day, turning his insides out with the guilty memories of his assaults and reconstructing his personality molecule by aching molecule until someone passed judgment on him and pronounced him fit – or not.

_This boy_.

The world spun around him, there was a roaring in his ears, his head was about to explode.

"Breathe mister, _breathe_!" The kid said anxiously as he watched the cop standing before him become almost catatonic in his presence. He was fidgeting as he watched, shifting his body's weight from one foot to another, tempted to bite his nails. He knew it was all his fault, that the mere sight of him must have been abhorrent to the cop but he didn't know what to do about it.

Finally Dan swayed on his feet and Baxter reached out to stop him from falling, only to find the hand flung away as Williams' took an enormous gulp of air and returned to the room, having temporarily forgotten how his lungs worked.

"You need to sit down." Sammie said unnecessarily, pointing to a chair behind Dan and the wide-eyed blank look retreated from Williams' eyes like a burning candle snuffed out in a draft.

Sam took it upon himself to find somewhere to sit, hoping the detective would follow. He chose the chair closest to the door with his back protected and self-consciously wiped his clothing down before sitting in case he spoiled the pristine upholstery. His heart was hammering as well; he had memories of his own to hide.

All but the roaring in Williams' ears had stopped, the shock of being touched pulling him back to reality. A small, pitiable noise grated up from his throat and he backed towards a chair, almost falling into it.

Baxter was up again, he had spotted a frosted jug of water and some glasses he assumed to be for their use and took the liberty of pouring a glass and handing it to Danny. He inclined his head, "Go on, take it Mister Williams."

Danny's jaw clenched and he took the proffered drink, gulping it back gratefully before rolling the cooled surface against his forehead. The noise in his ears finally ceased as his blood stopped racing through his veins. "Thank you."

Sammie poured one for himself, savoring it more slowly than Danny had and offered Williams a refill; he accepted.

Now that the shock was wearing off and his practical mind could once more reassert itself, Dan was searching for something to say. He had no idea what to talk about, all Jones suggested was that by meeting the young man who had saved his life as well as placed it in jeopardy in the first place, then perhaps another wound would scar over.

He stared at the last of the gang. There was something about the youth that was different from the first time Dan had seen him, his hair was a lot shorter, almost close-cropped, the mop of dark curls gone. He appeared older and less cocky but he was still the enemy, despite what he had done.

Start with the basics and steer clear of dangerous waters, was his advice to himself. "It must have been a relief to have your sentence suspended." Danny said at last; a statement, not a question – how could the kid feel otherwise?

Baxter blushed, "I have you and Mister McGarrett to thank for that."

Dan shook his head. "You saved my life." He stated simply and shrugged, explanation enough.

"Yeah.."

An awkward silence ensued, neither knowing what to say next. Danny stared at the boy, the boy stared at his glass.

"Look man, I owe you an apology." Baxter said suddenly, as though he had been saving the words for an appropriate moment. In truth he had, he had held the remorse inside him for a long time and now he had the opportunity to get it off his chest he wasn't sure if it meant anything to the man sitting before him. How could it? It was so lame by comparison to the enormity of what the detective had been through that no amount of words, empty or meaningful, could alleviate that or wipe away the memory of the assaults and shooting. Sammie closed his eyes, still seeing the look on Williams' face as he held his mouth up for Ratchet to rape.

Sitting across from him, Dan too was lost in similar memories, his stomach turned over with such vivid recollections and he could taste and smell it all as though it were yesterday; all the vile secretions, grunts and sweat. He wasn't sitting safe in McGarrett's lounge, he was back in the pit._'Oh God how can this make me heal?'_ He wondered desperately. How could an apology take away a fraction of his agony? Part of him wanted to lay into the boy, beat him until his fists were bloody and ask him _why him_? Why didn't they just leave him alone and let him walk away? But he couldn't do it, it wasn't the kid's fault and the people he blamed were long gone. Time to let it go, to wish something good could remain from all that was vile and cease holding onto the rot festering inside him.

"You tried to stop them." Williams offered in an attempt to keep his mouth from saying more.

"You remember that?" Baxter asked hopefully.

Danny drank more water down, wishing it was Vodka. His fingers tensed so much he thought the glass would shatter. Remember? Sure he remembered; weeks afterward with his mind tucked away like a coward hiding in the dark, he remembered because he was _forced_ to remember when he was taken from safety and subjected to more horrors, tied up and used like a piece of meat. He remembered alright, over and over and over again.

The headache was back, the one that he had gradually managed to get control over these past weeks, it slammed into his temples like being slugged on both sides of his head at the same time…

'_**What did it feel like getting your ass plowed eh cop?'**_

He knew he would blow, knew that he couldn't keep calm, he tried to but the words bubbled up through lips burned with the memory of abuse, "Yes, yes _YES_! I remember everything, if you must know! Every goddamned detail in blazing color, up to the point that bastard friend of yours shot me. What happened after that is blurry and I'm _never_ going to try and remember it any clearer than I do; it hurts too much. All I know is Steve says you found a way to ring him and that's the ONLY reason you're sitting there today and not behind bars where you belong like the criminal you are!" He said it with more venom than he wanted but he couldn't help himself.

Baxter's face shot with red to the roots of his hair and he jumped back in the chair as though he had been slapped.

Williams leaned forward, lessening the space between them by mere inches, enraged more at himself and the world than the younger man facing him. "I mean let's not pretend we're friends here. You almost killed a woman after stealing someone's car and I nearly died as a result. Hell sometimes I wish I HAD!"

The young _hapa-haole_ bit his lip and tried to appease his accuser, "I…I know mister, you've every right to be angry,"

Danny's voice was ultra-controlled as he replied, "Angry? How laughably inadequate a description that is. I'm not angry with you Baxter, I'm way beyond anger. I just need you to promise me that you will never, ever, do something so blame stupid again in your life. You associate with these people and you will end up like them, used up and thrown away - you may even find yourself in an early grave. The Kaika's didn't respect the law, they spat on that and they used me to get back at it but it's only people like us – like McGarrett, Five-0 and the police you despise so much that sometimes stand between you and the * _really *_ bad guys. You have to make damned sure that you're on the right side when it comes to a fight.

You people never learn, you start out small, thinking it won't hurt anyone; you steal something here and there from your neighbors or family, you laugh and live it up, then little-by-little you get into the bigger stuff, like fencing cars and before you know it you get involved in assault then murder, where does it all end? In the gallows drop, that's where and it's not always the law that sends you there, sometimes it's your friends, or in the case of the Kaika's - family! Criminals don't trust each other, they can't afford to and maybe one day you'll become a patsy for them, they'll use you up and throw you to the wolves. In fact I think perhaps you already were one and didn't even know it!

You have a chance to get out, take it Baxter. A suspended sentence doesn't mean the slate is wiped clean so if you get involved again it's going to be your own head that will be on the block next time and I promise you that I WILL bring you down if you run. So now if you want to spit on me that's fine, go ahead but if you ever need to call a cop don't bother ringing my number unless your nose is clean because I won't come running any more.

I…I just can't…"

Dan wiped the back of his hand across his eyes, hoping the tears that had started to form weren't noticed. He wasn't sure where the barrage came from, he just knew that sitting before him was what he took to be a basically good kid, someone like thousands of others that had been twisted because of the circumstances they lived in. If he could shock him enough to get back on the straight and narrow then that would be pay back for the phone call to McGarrett that saved his life. That was all he could give him - the rest was heartbreak.

Sammie was sniffing, he knew all the cop said was right, from the way the Kaika's treated him to the lack of loyalty within the criminal fraternity. He was a patsy. He wanted to stay clean but had nothing and nowhere to go. He had Ella to consider too. They wanted to be together and that made him sit up straight and take stock of his options. He would try to get a real job, paying real money – no matter how little and do as Detective Williams said and keep his nose clean. "I'm sorry Mister Williams, truly I am." He said at length, meaning it deeply.

Danny looked away, unable to bear the puppy dog eyes any longer, he just wanted to be left alone now, he had done his duty by seeing the boy and now it was time to put an end to it, "Sure, you just get yourself a better life."

"What will you do now?"

"Do?"

"I mean, are you back at work, with Five-0 I mean?"

"That's none of you business."

"Sorry, it's just, I know about you, I knew about you before they….well I'd heard about you and Mister McGarrett and from what I could tell you've done some good things - for cops that is."

"Well _mahalo_ for that!" Danny laughed, "So what? You want to be a policeman all of a sudden eh? Come work for Five-0 one day?" He scoffed and Sammie blushed again.

"Maybe." he replied seriously, having not thought about it before but kind of liking the idea now it was mentioned to him.

"Sure you do, because it's ingrained in you to serve and protect, not snatch and purloin!" Came the sarcastic response.

"Pur- what?"

"Never mind. Let's just say if you want to go to the Academy you have a whole lot of changing to do."

"I could do that!"

…And the sun can revolve around the earth.

"Maybe." Williams replied, echoing the younger man's words of earlier.

Silence again, not as difficult a gap as before but neither was it companionable. What more was there to say?

Danny got up slowly, unsure how steady on his feet he would be, his head trumpeted at him as he moved, "Well, I guess I've said what I wanted to.

Sammie caught on and placed the glass back on the table between them, "Oh sure, yeah..me too I guess."

Williams ushered him to the door, opening it for him, neither man went to shake hands, "Just treat this as a warning, even the biggest criminal finds his way behind bars sooner or later and you're small fry by comparison, easy pickings. Stay out of prison Baxter, what you experienced before was a taste – what those friends of yours did to me could happen to you inside. Good looking kid like you wouldn't stand a chance. Think on that!"

That last comment drove itself home with force and the young man's olive colored skin turned gray, "I hear you Mister Williams, I had some of it from Koa, I know and ain't no way I want to go there again."

It was Danny's turn to pale, he had no idea that the young man had experienced anything himself. He suddenly felt bad about laying into him and shuddered, recalling Mano's warning they would do the same thing to the young man if he didn't take part in the assault. Sammie started to walk away, "Look Sam?" He shouted after him, mollified.

Sam turned, "Yeah?"

"If you need some kind of reference find me through McGarrett, okay?"

Sammie Baxter smiled, a warm smile that lit up his face and made him look fifteen, "I sure will. _Mahalo_!"

"I guess we're even."

"I hope so, _aloha_."

The door closed slowly, blocking off the back view of Baxter as he walked away. Behind it, Danny leaned his head on the panel, sorrow filling him to the brim; not just for himself but for the boy as well. He felt tortured, like being on a rack, the wheels turning until they pulled him apart. He couldn't hold himself upright and pivoting around on his head sank to the carpet, back to the door and blinked through rapidly filling eyes. Too many people with too many stories, some bad, some good but underneath the skin all men were brothers in suffering.

On hearing no more faint sounds of talking, Steve decided to poke his head into the living room to see if the visitor had gone. It took a moment to locate where Danny was and he panicked briefly until he spotted his friend sitting with his knees tight against his chest, weeping silently.

Saying nothing he went to his cabinet where he kept alcohol he reserved for the occasional guest, and Williams more often than most. He poured out a neat Scotch and taking the drink over to the hallway sat down on the floor next to Dan, legs outstretched and handed his friend the drink.

Danny looked at him through brilliant eyes that floated with water like ripples in the ocean and took the offered drink without saying a word. Steve laid a hand on his knee and let him take his own time to break the silence, this one most definitely companionable.

"We think we know it all Steve." Dan began, "We know black from white, forgetting the shades of gray between. How arrogant is that?" He tried wiping the tears away with his fingers and found a crisp handkerchief pushed into his hand from McGarrett's jacket pocket instead.

"Not arrogant Danno, just human."

"I thought this was all my pain, that was selfish too. I know you've been through so much these past months and I can't begin to tell you how sorry I am for that. For the trouble I've caused you and everyone else Steve."

"YOU caused none of this. Weren't you listening to me when I told you we were brothers in all but blood? Maybe you didn't believe it. We shared in what you went through because we care about you and love you. The burden of that is still yours to bear so don't feel guilty off loading a fraction of that onto our shoulders, we're big men, we'll cope. You need to come back to work my friend, living with this day in, day out with no distractions isn't helping."

"_Hah_! You've got that right. I want that so badly now it's keeping me awake at night. I don't know what Jones will say but I think I know what your recommendation will be now Steve - thank you." Danny looked him in the eyes and the hurt receded a fraction.

McGarrett said nothing to disillusion him. "Did going through with this meeting help you?"

"I don't know, actually I do know, yes I think it did. Did you know that slime ball Koa did something to the kid? I don't know what but he's hiding it well."

Steve's eyebrows raised and he frowned, "No, I had no idea. So that's what you meant about black and white."

"Yeah. I was so busy feeling sorry for myself I hadn't thought that he…well that something might have happened to him."

"Well then I hope he heals too my friend. I am sure you said the right thing – for both of you. And speaking of healing you look shattered, head bad?"

"My boss - the mind reader." Danny smiled.

Steve took the empty glass from Williams' grasp and eased himself off the floor. Holding a hand out to Danny he helped him upright. "Your friend - the nurse. I will have two aspirin for you in a moment, I want you to rest Danno, take the spare room and lie down for a couple of hours. I'll be here if you need anything but I think you need a good night's sleep so I'd like you to stay here tonight.

"Steve I'll disturb you." Danny protested but in reply found himself pushed gently toward the spare room McGarrett let him use when he stayed over.

"Go, lie down but take your shoes off first!"

"Yes sir!" Danny replied smartly but regretted it as his head shouted back.

Twenty minutes later Danny was curled up under a quilt, head sandwiched between two pillows, sound asleep. Steve stood at the door watching him for a few moments, content to let his friend rest. It never ceased to amaze him how resilient Williams was, like a terrier he bounced back from most things but there was still the nagging doubt at the back of the Five-0 Chief's mind as to whether or not he was fit for duty.

He would have to do some serious thinking about that, despite what Danny thought.

Imprinting the rare image of a relaxed and safe Danno in his mind, he closed the door gently behind him and went to make some phone calls.

********

Later on that evening, in the glow of a brass lamp's light Chadwick Jones finished his report, squeezed his eyes shut briefly with his fingers then sat staring at the pages for a few moments more before picking up his pen and signing the final page with an almost vicious flourish of black ink.

It was his duty to document the workings of the mind in detail for his case notes but extract the essentials for reporting purposes. In this instance his client was simply the bottom rung in a hierarchical chain of people who would read the précised version and whilst he felt a responsibility to the subject he also had a duty to the public and after the calls he had received today he was convinced more than ever that his assessment was correct. He had been bold and, he believed, accurate and although a flicker of regret crossed his mind he knew the importance of delivering a correct analysis of his patient; lives depended on it.

His was an unenviable task, one that could make or break a person's future at the same time as treating them for any psychological damaged caused as a result of his findings, and for their past behavior. Jones learned many years before not to get involved with his cases, he used to drag them home behind him like carcasses from a hunt and leave their bloody reminders in his living room. His marriage broke down as a result and he almost followed it down the drain. Now he forgot them the moment they walked out of his office door – mostly. Sometimes a case would haunt him and he would turn to colleagues and friends for his own brand of therapy. In this instance the subject was a good person and one who deserved a break but he couldn't, in all honesty, recommend their return to public life without serious concerns about their mental health. They had suffered too much in too short a time. Maybe in a year or two.

Pouring himself a double Bourbon from the cut-glass decanter on his desk, he swirled it around for a few moments, losing himself in the amber glow before swallowing it down in practically one movement. Glass in hand, he flicked the faux leather cover shut, blocking out the final summary, the words `**RECOMMEND NOT TO RETURN TO WORK**' stared back at him and then they were gone.

It felt like sentence had been passed.

Case closed.

He got up and paced the room, clutching the all-but empty glass in a tight fist. His office was dark beyond the lamplight but not nearly as dark as the world outside. It truly was a fearful place beyond the light, where shadows lay. Peering back at himself in the mirrored windows he studied the colorless image; a middle aged man going bald, he suspected from stress. The paunchy belly and braces holding up his too-tight trousers didn't help his own self-image and before long he pulled the thick curtains across, cutting off the view and expunging it from his mind.

Jones checked his expensive watch; 9.13pm, it was late but he had nowhere to be that night so he resolved to carry on for another hour or so then he would return to a bachelor's delight of warmed over chilli. He loved his life.

Replacing the glass on the desk Chad filtered through a small pile of folders until he came across the one he was looking for. Pulling up his creased pants at the knees he sat back down in the creaking leather chair and spun it around a few times, collecting his thoughts before opening the cover. It read;

Dan Williams

Detective, Hawaii Five-0

His next evaluation.

Time to go to work.

******


	40. Stirrings

CHAPTER 40: Stirrings

There is nothing more valuable in life than having someone in your corner: no matter what their connection to you. In times of war they protect your back, in times of peace they protect your sanity. When someone trusts and believes in you, you are rich beyond your wildest imagining. You can have nothing and still have it all. Words of comfort or advice, an ear to listen or a hand to hold, they know your bad side and value your good - but never judge. When life deals the worst of blows your armor is flesh and blood, your home a friendly smile, security a warm embrace.

Danny Williams' had a protective suit made of the strongest human steel - a man who stood by his promises to a friend, but never misled him. When Steve McGarrett was on your side you needed no other cover, just the staunch friendship and wise advice of a man who would never rest until you returned home, safe and sound – because he believes in you.

Several months had passed since the beginning of their toughest case together; through physical and mental torture, fire, water and tears. Now, like strands of wool gradually rolling into a ball, all roads led to the present and to the bleached leaves of paper sitting innocently in the hands of one man: a man who cared deeply for the people in his unit and deeper still for the subject of the report that stared back at him with inanimate solidity. McGarrett knew the contents of the couriered document he was about to read could potentially change his relationship with his protégé and, whilst eager to learn what was inside, he also shied away from it: not wanting to reveal to himself a recommendation he would not like and Williams would care for even less. In the end his faith in his friend combined with the gut instincts necessary for his job convinced him to go beyond the bold type on the title page and delve into the heart of the report.

Ignoring all other distractions, he began to read.

At times he sighed, rubbed a hand over his face, frowned deeply and felt gut-punched, at others he smiled and silently cheered. He hated the intimacy of the job he was forced to do but knew it was necessary. If Williams wasn't ready, or able, to return to Five-0 it was his business to know it, Danny may be as close as family but the department and Steve's duty to the public came above even their tight bond.

He re-read the final few conclusive lines several times over, unsure that they had sunk in sufficiently for him to understand the words, then reached for a lukewarm sip of coffee, trying to loosen the bad taste in his mouth. It had been hard re-reading some of the stark jottings and yet he knew it was nothing by comparison to what Danny harbored in his head. Steve was glad he hadn't been privy to the conversations between his adopted brother and the psychiatrist, he wasn't sure his stomach could cope or his heart contain his sorrow.

There was nothing else for it, his young detective would have to be informed of the counselor's recommendations. Steve wanted to do it in person and elected to be cryptic on the telephone, merely asking Williams to come into the office without informing him why.

With mixed emotions vying for the upper hand, he rang Danny's apartment.

******

Danny held the receiver tightly in his grip after the line was disconnected, unsure quite what to make of the bland summons, but suspecting the future of his career was at stake. His boss gave nothing away, only suggesting they meet late afternoon at the office. Williams of course accepted and was surprised when his friend said nothing further just, `_Aloha_, see you soon Danno.'

Now, half an hour later, he ran to clear his head, getting out of the apartment and working up a sweat in an inadequate attempt to stop his doubts from getting the upper hand. He wished Steve had just _told_ him what their meeting was about instead of toying with him; it was rare when the Five-0 Chief didn't read him right, but today it felt like McGarrett hadn't understood his need to be given details instead of left to ponder what the hell was going on.

Dan picked up speed, pumping adrenalin through his body as perspiration soaked his shirt through making it cling to the contours of his torso and showing off his toned physique. All he did now was prepare for his return: eating well, sleeping often, going to the gym and frequenting the firing range where his score was consistently high: perhaps because every target he shot had a face imprinted on it from his memories, which was slightly concerning and something the outpatients department of the Insitute of Mental Health was never likely to hear about.

He had put on weight, most of it muscle and physically he was in the best shape he had ever been in, his mental condition he wasn't sure about since much of the time he didn't give himself permission to delve that deeply into his psyche. Every day he waited for the decision regarding Five-0 and it would finish him if he wasn't allowed to return to Steve's side.

The memories of the assaults would never leave him now, soaked into his brain they had scarred him for life but the difference between how he felt now as opposed to how he felt even a fortnight ago was that he could cope with it better, he kept keys to locked doors inside his mind and he was an effective jailer. There was little doubt that Sam Baxter's visit, whilst harrowing, also did him good – he had faced the last remnant of his ordeal and come through it. Now all he had to do was prove he could go out on the street and not collapse into a puddle if someone drew a gun on him. _THAT_, he speculated, would be harder than it appeared.

Picking up speed he checked his watch and raced back to his apartment, striving so hard to beat his own record that he almost collapsed when he stopped running. He had a stitch in his side that hurt like crazy. As he reached the steps he bent down, one hand on a knee and the other pressed deeply under his ribcage as he puffed hard and attempted to slow his heartbeat down.

He sometimes wondered if he was being too hard on himself, but there was genuinely no other way for him `_to'_ be; with nothing to do but stare at four walls all day long or emote to Jones, he found solace in the physical activities. But underlying it all was a more sinister reason for concentrating on his physique: although Danny didn't realize it he was determined that next time he would fight with the only weapon he had – his strength. He honed and sharpened his body, swapping the foods that he loved, and the drink he craved, for pain in order to protect himself from outside forces. It was futile since anyone with a gun or knife could assault him again, but unconsciously it made him feel better. He might not be `Superman' but he could sure emulate `GI Joe'!

Danny straightened himself carefully then, grabbing the stair rail, leaped up the steps two at a time. When he reached his apartment he was dripping wet and left a trail of clothes on the floor as he headed for the shower.

He felt both good and bad, but the shock of warm water washing away the excesses of his exertion doused him sufficiently to relax and drain away the fear of what was to come. As he let the water run across his newly sculpted body he was surprised to find he took pleasure in the feel of the soapy lather soothing across his pectoral muscles and the raised buttons at their base. Using the flat palms of his hands he circled the nipples experimentally and felt a pulse straight to his groin. It was the first time since being raped that he had felt any kind of sexual stirring and, whilst part of his mind was abhorrent to it, another, more natural instinct, overrode his repulsion.

Suddenly needing to reacquaint himself with his feelings, Danny shifted into a corner of the shower unit and twisted the faucet, directing it down onto his flesh and increasing the power from the jet. Everywhere the water hit him set his skin alive with tingling and he gasped, the pleasurable sensations were almost foreign to him of late, the closest he had come to feeling anything similar had been when he visited the Palace for the first time since his kidnapping and felt a warm surge of kinship from his fellow staff. This was so different, like his body was waking up and it scared him, but pleased him as well. Perhaps he could recover after all.

After his attack, a couple of his former girlfriends hovered on the periphery, finding out how he was from Five-0, sending greetings and flowers or trying to visit, but he ignored them. At first he didn't remember them as a result of the amnesia then afterwards because he closed his mind off to remembrance of anything romantic. With the assaults so fresh and raw in his mind, he could think of nothing worse than the thought of being vulnerable and naked, even with a woman. Today however, for some reason his body was telling him it was time to move on and he wasn't beyond listening.

Daring himself on, he slid one hand down his flat stomach to the soft flesh beneath, hoping to feel something stir, but even with the best will in the world the remnants of his traumatic experience was too strong and nothing happened.

Thumping the wet wall in frustration he turned off the water and stepped out of the shower, reaching for a towel. He wanted to be normal again but right now he wanted to smash out at something for making him hate himself as much as he did. He wasn't so sure that getting on that particular horse was going to be easy but understood there was so much more to life than physical stimulation. In the meantime he would work out, run, exhaust himself and when the time came he would be ready to defend himself, whatever the cost.

*******

Dressed in his dove gray suit, with contrasting gold tie and a crisp white shirt, above which sat a newly tanned and handsome face, Dan Williams looked as though he was going for a job interview. A far cry from the thin, dark-eyed, limping creature that stepped out of Queen's Hospital just weeks before. Despite the worry gnawing at the pit of his stomach, he acted confidently as he walked into the office fielding greetings and compliments from his fellow officers.

Eager to get this next ordeal over with, he sought admittance to McGarrett's _sanctum_ and was pleased to see Steve's eyes linger over his appearance. His aim was to look fit and ready for duty and if his boss' smile was anything to go by he had achieved his goal. There was a twinkle in the older man's eyes that for some reason instantly relaxed him as he sat down opposite the Five-0 Chief.

"Afternoon Danno," Steve said and offered him a coffee Jenny had just brought in. The young man's appearance wasn't lost on McGarrett and he was pleased at how well his kaikaina looked.

"Thanks Steve." Dan leaned across to grab the mug and, as his eyes caught sight of a familiar logo on top of some papers on Steve's desk, his heart lurched: it was the headed paper Jones used for his reports.

"I think you know why I called you in here. The Governor and I have been discussing your possible return to duty and this morning I received the report from your counselor. It makes for tough reading my friend."

Danny knew that: he knew it wouldn't be sweetness and light, not with the things that his mind had conjured up as a result of all that he'd suffered. It made him sick to think that his boss, no matter how close, was reading some of the bare workings of his soul and he felt another kind of violation. Despite it being essential, he hoped that Jones had kept some of his secrets. "I am sure it does, but no tougher than having to scrape it up from my guts every session, believe me!"

"Just to reassure you - this isn't detailed Danno: just a pulling together of observations and conclusions about your health as it relates to a job such as ours. In other words we needed to know how mentally fit you would be to come back to Five-0, and it seems Jones has done a thorough job."

Danny's leg started shaking; the crux of the matter was about to be revealed and he was more nervous than he could say. He had to hold the mug in two hands, coffee tilting precariously close to the edge with each tremble. "And?" He asked at last.

Steve sighed which practically sent Danny's BP into orbit and, taking the report with him, came to sit on the front of his desk just three feet from where Williams' sat. "And I quote, _`Whilst not completely healed, Dan Williams shows a remarkable ability to protect himself from further adverse affects as a result of his attacks and it is my opinion that his stress levels are now within acceptable margins.'_"

"Meaning what?!" Danny asked, confused.

Steve leaned forward smiling and folded the pages in one hand before tapping him on the shoulder with them, "Meaning you're normal Danno! Just like any one of us; you are handling it as well as can be expected! He goes on to say that he recommends you be allowed back to full time duty, but in a non-stressful capacity until I see fit. I'm delighted - for both our sakes."

Danny blinked – _finally_ - this was what he needed; he could come back to Five-0 and start his life over again. He understood that active duty was still a few weeks away, he had to prove himself first, but he was grateful beyond belief for the recommendation, and for McGarrett's acceptance of it.

"How about Monday?" Steve said and held out his hand for Danny to shake.

When an ecstatic Williams got up to take it he asked, "Is tomorrow too soon, Steve?"

The tall man did a rare thing then and pulled his young detective into a hug, holding onto him with relief as much as anything as he patted his back, "No _aikane_," he said into Williams' ear, "Tomorrow will be fine."

As both men pulled apart they had moisture in their eyes - silently knowing how much it meant to them both to be back on the path again - together. It had been a traumatic trip but now McGarrett's world would be complete and Danny could learn to forget: or so they hoped.

"Poor Duke, I think he liked the idea of being in your office." Steve said and dabbed a quick thumb across both eyes.

"His time will come Steve," Danny said with a grin. Part of him didn't dare believe it was real; that the past was truly falling behind him. This time tomorrow he would be back in the thick of it and he was content not to be immediately thrown out into the field: he knew that would take more confidence, but for now he was happy.

McGarrett gripped his shoulder, "If you're not doing anything tonight I'd like us to go out for a meal."

"Chinese?"

Steve laughed, "If you like Danno."

"Just so long as it's nowhere formal Steve, it would be nice to relax."

"You got it bruddah. I'll meet you at your place, eight sharp."

"Sure, good. Great in fact!" Dan beamed.

To make his friend smile was a priceless gift and McGarrett was thankful for it, as thankful as he had been for every day he had been given since thinking Danno was lost to him and being proven wrong.

"You'd better get out of here now or I might change my mind and keep you on sick leave."

"You wouldn't!"

"_Detective_ Williams, as Officer in Charge I can do anything." Steve said seriously, but Danny caught the humor in his eyes.

"I'll remember that, particularly the next time you `_can't'_ do a press conference and ask me to fill in!" He chuckled.

"You never change Danno."

Dan's smile waned and he said seriously, "I have changed Steve, but maybe I'm stronger for it."

"I know, but now we leave the past where it belongs and carry on with our future. They haven't won, my friend, and that's the main thing."

"They never will: not when I have you on my side. Thank you for not giving up on me."

"Would you give up on me?"

Danny shook his head, he would do anything for McGarrett he knew, "_Never_."

"Then let's get back to work and remember there is strength in numbers."

"Speaking of which, does everyone know?" Williams asked: meaning the rest of Five-0.

Steve shook his head, "No I'll let you escape and tell them when you're gone. Don't worry, Duke can have a spare seat tomorrow whilst he brings you up to date on what's happening."

_"Mahalo_ Steve. Until tonight then?"

"Sure Danno, eight o'clock."

Danny turned to leave, just as he opened the door McGarrett called back, "You're looking good, kiddo."

Williams blushed, nodded his thanks, then turned tail.

*******

Knowing McGarrett would still be in his work clothes, Danny didn't bother to change for dinner, just stayed in his suit and hoped that plum sauce wouldn't find its way onto his lapel.

He felt better than he had in months, the oppression had lifted and he was becoming his old self again.

McGarrett had reserved a table at Danny's favorite Chinese Restaurant in the better quarter of Chinatown. Authentic food, attentive waiters and a low-key atmosphere: just perfect for a quiet meal for the two of them. But Steve had other plans, and as Danny walked into the place he was ushered over to a large table, festooned with paper lanterns where, much to his surprise, he was greeted by an arena of smiling faces - all waiting just for him.

Kono, Chin, Doc Bergman, Jenny, Duke, Che Fong and George - with two seats reserved next to each other; one for their guest of honor, the other McGarrett. No one clapped or applauded, they knew it wouldn't be right, but they were there, at McGarrett's behest, to receive their colleague and friend back into the fold.

Danny didn't know what to say, or do, he was overwhelmed by their kindness and shy in their presence, "Welcome home, Danno," Steve whispered into his ear as he patted the young man's back and urged him forward.

As Williams came to the table everyone rose and that in itself said more than any words to come out of their mouths and he was practically overwhelmed with emotion. They waited until he sat but he couldn't: he was too busy trying to control his shock until McGarrett waved a hand and they all returned to their seats, then he sat automatically, following his boss' lead. He was sandwiched between Bergman and McGarrett, two men who had been responsible for guiding him back to his _ohana_ and, as he shifted uncomfortably in his chair, Doc leaned in close and said, "You'll do fine kid." Then squeezed his arm. On the other side of him Steve deliberately pushed his arm against Danny's: unspoken support as always in the gentle contact.

No one needed to ask what Danny wanted to eat: they knew him too well, accordingly food had already been ordered. Within minutes the table was full of hot, colorful bowls for sharing. Steam drifted up to the dark red ceiling, creating a temporary haze in the subdued light that swirled around the lanterns like wraiths. Smells both sweet and sour wafted back and forth enticingly and for the first time since his journey in darkness he felt true hunger.

The chatter started and it took some time for Dan to relax enough to participate, simply letting the noise of familiar voices and click of chopsticks wash over him to start with. Kono even relinquished his hold on a plate of egg rolls long enough for Williams to have one then swore his friend owed him one and stole it back. The food was delicious, the company sublime and before long he had eaten more than his smaller stomach would allow and he couldn't help the polite burp of satisfaction that rose to his lips behind a well-timed fist. Apologizing to everyone, Danny happened to look across the rows of heads to a table by the window: as he did so, he caught sight of someone he recognized, and it startled him.

Sitting with a small group of women, one of whom Danny vaguely knew from his time in hospital, was Nurse Taisha Kakahi. She was the last person he expected to see and someone he had only thought about briefly since his release but now that he looked at her he was intrigued. The pretty Hawaiian was dressed in a simple scarlet blouse and white skirt but with her dark, shining hair flowing about her shoulders it became her like a ball gown. Danny thought of `Okahi', his semi-naked painted woman, and his breath caught in his throat.

Taisha had seen the two handsome men walk in and every now and then glanced across to the table where they sat, perhaps hoping to catch Danny's eye. Now that she had she smiled, nodded, then returned to the conversation at her own table - apparently content.

Harry Bergman knew she was there, he had said hello to her when he arrived and was secretly glad that fate had conspired to place the young woman in Dan's way. Steve too had caught her watching his youngest detective and had thoughts of his own he wouldn't share with anyone.

Oblivious to the fact that three men were staring in the general direction of another table, the rest of the Five-0 team were happily conversing with one another about various things while Danny was experiencing confusion about his own feelings. At home he still kept the piece of paper Taisha had handed to him the day he was discharged from Queen's. He never used the phone number, didn't think he could, but now, seeing her in civilian clothes with a warm smile so obviously for him, he wondered whether or not he should.

"I told you to watch out for that one son," Bergman said, snapping Williams out of his trance.

"Sorry Doc, miles away, what?"

Doc laughed, "Nurse Kakahi. She's pretty isn't she?" he asked unnecessarily.

"Yes, very." Danny answered honestly and returned his attention back to his own table, uncomfortable with his thoughts.

It was almost an hour later when Kakahi's party got up to leave, three women waited at the door as Taisha walked over to the Five-0 table and, excusing herself to all present, spoke to Danny. "Hi." She said softly.

"Hi. I ah..I saw you over there." Dan replied.

The table fell silent as they watched the exchange.

"I just wanted to say you're looking really well, Danny."

Across from him, Kono coughed and Jenny slapped him under the table.

"Thanks, you too." He said, knowing it was a lame compliment and thinking he ought to have said more. In the glow of the candlelight she looked stunning.

"Doc says you're back at work tomorrow."

"I ah…yes I am."

One finger brushed the expertly tied knot at the nape of the young detective's neck, "Guess you won't be needing a nurse any more."

This time Steve choked, he couldn't help himself, a mouthful of water from the glass he was drinking went down the wrong way and instead of helping him, Danny publicly elbowed him in the ribs, spilling yet more water on the messy tablecloth.

"No. _Mahalo_." Dan managed to splutter, completely embarrassed by the whole encounter.

Taisha's brown eyes sparkled, well aware of the effect she was having on the group,"Well goodnight, hope you all had a good meal and Danny, if you get sick - you have my number."

Dan's own eyes rounded to their fullest extent as she gave him a virginal peck on the cheek and walked out.

All eyes turned from her full figure sashaying out of the door back to their young colleague as one man (and one woman).

"What?!" Williams asked of them all. "Why are you staring at me?"

Even Che Fong's face was animated; the corners of his mouth turned up in a smile as his eyes crinkled.

Kono chortled and tried badly to imitate the young lady in a high pitched voice, "If you get sick you have my number _Danny_, guess you won't be needing a nurse now – _Danny_? Oh bruddah does that _wahine_ have da hots for you!"

Jenny poked the big guy under the table again and he cried out. "Don't you listen to him Danny, I think she's sweet." Sherman said. At least _someone_ was trying to be on his side.

Williams was somewhat flustered by the encounter, but even he could see the funny side of it all.

"Must be those new muscles you're sporting Danno!" Chin said.

"Very funny, Chin. She's just someone I met at the hospital that's all."

"Danny's right." Steve said kindly and Williams felt relieved that his boss was covering for him until he added, teasingly, "She was his nurse there for some time - I believe she does home visits though."

"**STEVE**!" Williams said, stunned. So much for a friend watching your back.

It was the best ice breaker in the world however, and the table dissolved into laughter.

*****

The evening had been a delight and what was even better was that Danny didn't have to pay for a thing, the others split the bill between them, McGarrett paying for everyone's drinks.

As they said goodnight to one another Danny suddenly felt drained, missing the camaraderie, and he flagged visibly as Steve walked with him out into the warm night air.

"What are you thinking, Danno?" McGarrett asked as the two made their way back to the car.

Hands in pockets, Danny stared at the myriad of stars in the inky darkness above him, trying to find the words in the heavens to adequately illustrate his feelings, but couldn't. "I was thinking how lucky I am Steve. How blessed with good fortune and friends and how one in particular has never disappointed me: no matter how difficult life gets."

McGarrett leaned his stomach on the side of his car, hands playing with the keys, Danny leaned his back on it next to him. They both looked at each other from their different vantage points but recognized the same unconditional love that brothers have for one another in each other's eyes. "You saved my life, and gave me my life. Both special gifts that I could never hope to repay you for."

"How often have you done the same for me, eh Danno? Besides, you give me more than that; each day I am blessed by your companionship, friendship and honesty. So you don't need to say any more, I need nothing from you but what you have given me already - that's payment enough _aikane_, truly."

Williams eased himself off the vehicle as Steve unlocked it for him. "Then know that I won't do anything to abuse your confidence in me. When I get back to work Steve I'll work harder than ever, before you know it I will be back on the streets again."

"In your own time Danno, you always work too hard. Don't rush things. Work yourself into the ground and I may never untangle you from the earth!"

But those words fell on deaf ears since Dan had every intention of slaving away until he dropped if it meant regaining what he had lost. But what he had _truly_ lost could never be replaced.

*******

That night, bathed in perspiration, Danny dreamed his first pleasant dream in months and he awoke with a groan, body jolting as it reacted to the sensual feelings stirring through him. He was hardly aware of the subject of the dream as the images faded swiftly, leaving nothing but the remnants of his phantom encounter to keep him company.

Smiling, he curled in on himself and gripped his pillow tightly before settling back into a peaceful sleep.

The healing was almost complete.

*******


	41. Moving Violation

CHAPTER 41 - Moving Violation

Some days start out perfectly: you wake up refreshed and optimistic from the night before, cleansed of all worries with just a hint of a dream lingering in your mind, tantalizing your senses with the possibility of it being real - levitation, love or luxury: all drift away with the light of dawn. You feel healthy and relaxed with a modest hunger rolling around in your stomach that will be soon be satisfied. The rays from the new dawn caress your skin, the gentle breeze frolicking around the room embraces your body and there are hours to go before duty begins.

Even though she had left, the air was perfumed with her scent, his mouth still tasted her clean, soft flesh and he could hear the cries of their mutual pleasure echoing between the walls. It was the first time since he was raped that anyone had given him control, he needed it, and she knew it. She soothed him and wanted nothing in return save gifting him back his self-respect. Taisha.

Outside of her nursing him, three weeks was not long to get to know someone, but with a shy courtship she won him over, knowing precisely how to lead him between the sheets. Now she was gone, drifting away like fog evaporating in sunlight and he was incredibly relaxed. It felt good to be back, and whilst they would both be happy to take their relationship further, for the moment it was enough. One night to cure a hundred - and it worked.

Danny Williams felt like singing, he was alive and tingling from head to foot; at last his body was his own and he had used it to give and receive pleasure instead of pain. Rolling over onto his back, he ran a hand down his bare chest, wiping away perspiration and stretching from head to foot, muscles tensing and releasing as he awoke more fully. He stared at the ceiling above him, sky-colored eyes glazing over as he recalled the night's events. He smiled broadly then chuckled; child-like excitement bursting from his throat. He felt freer than he had in a very long time and although the corners of his mind were still dark he ignored the scratching at the doors he had closed. He hoped he would never have reason to unlatch them and let the hellish memories resurface.

It was early, most civilized people were still sleeping like babes, and he was content to lie there for a while longer, listening to the hush all around and mentally tracing the curve of a chocolate breast or hip in his mind's eye. Now that he had experienced release he needed to cool off and opted for a swim before a shower. There was just time to make it to the beach and back to get ready before he was due at Five-0.

Pulling the sheets off his nakedness he got up and winced, he was sore in all the right places and shook his head in amazement at what had taken place. He was overwhelmingly grateful that someone like Taisha had seen something in him worth taking the trouble over. After their initial dates she courted him gently over the space of a fortnight, a brush of a hand here, a glimpse of her bosom there - nothing overt, just enough to get him interested and she didn't push him to do anything, the first time things got heated Danny had backed off, afraid and panicked beyond belief. Ashamed and embarrassed at his reaction but indebted to her for her kindness, he agreed to see her again. Twice more she was patient with him, listening to his reasons and soothing him without judging. But last night he broke through the barrier and now their was no shame - only joy.

Afterwards, when they lay in bed together, sated but happy, he asked her why. The beautiful Hawaiian girl laid her head on his chest and simply told him he was worth saving. That, it seemed, was good enough for her.

It appeared she wasn't the only one who considered the detective's reputation worth saving; the mystery of Lupe Tanilofa's murder had also been partially solved and Danny was still reeling from the fresh news. McGarrett and Chief Dann, working in tandem to piece the story together as best they could considering the clam-like nature of everyone involved, had finally found their man. The only person in the exercise yard that day with access to the weapon _and_ potential motive to kill the rapist was a prison Trusty - one Vincent Donovan, aka 'Vinnie the Toad', whose life Danny had saved once: at the expense of some of his own skin and a great deal of pain. It was a witness protection program gone horribly wrong.

With two fellow HPD officers dead at his feet from multiple gunshot wounds, Dan had swiftly hidden the witness before being captured and tortured to reveal the man's whereabouts. He managed to escape and a gravely injured Williams got the terrified Donovan to safety and protected their position until help arrived. All Dan had to do was give the criminal up and run but instead he held out. No one had ever done that for The Toad before – he liked the young cop and Vinnie, one of the old school from the mainland, repaid his debts. Hearing Tanilofa mouth off about a person who had spent weeks in traction and plaster because of him was more than he could bear, he simply had to take action.

In return for their help and silence, the inmate accomplices in Tanilofa's attack were all offered tidy little sums from Donovan's ill-gotten gains that he had salted away where the police couldn't find them. They, or their families would collect and Vinnie promised, on the life of his gray-haired Italian mother, never to give away their names.

Vincent himself wasn't likely to see the outside of Halawa for a very long time, but he was content. For his part, McGarrett wasn't sure they should go easy on Donovan for what he had done but deep down a good deal of him wish it had been **him** holding those scissors….something that Danny, or anyone else for that matter, was never likely to hear about.

And so Dan moved forward, virtually unaware of the effect he had on others around him: others who had been touched by his heroism, bravery and kindness.

He got up and dressed for a swim.

****

Two hours later the detective was sitting in his office, clean, refreshed and full of renewed energy. He had already waded through a quarter of his paperwork and was starting on more.

"Morning, Danno," Steve McGarrett said as he arrived for the day's work and poked his head in the doorway of Dan's cubicle. If he was surprised at Williams arriving before him he said nothing, it had become a regular occurrence and one that, whilst he didn't want to dissuade Danny from doing, concerned him somewhat. His young friend was diving head first into cases as though his life depended on it and although to all appearances he had recovered from his traumas, there was an air of desperation about the detective that didn't sit too comfortably with his boss.

Today there was something else about Williams that was different too, and it wasn't just his damp hair.

"Morning, Steve!"

"Your hair is wet."

Danny got up and went to refresh his coffee, moving past McGarrett to the jug, "Yeah, I went swimming this morning. It'll dry soon."

There was no one else in the Five-0 office as yet, the rest of the staff not due for another half an hour or more; they were alone together and Steve took the opportunity to speak his mind, " You look, I don't know – `_happy'_. Did something happen?"

Dan turned around to face his friend and his cheeks flushed red as he twisted the cup in his hand. "I don't know, maybe I am happy. I ah…I saw Taisha again last night."

"Ah." Steve smiled knowingly and walked through to deposit his briefcase on his desk.

Danny followed him in, having also poured a coffee for McGarrett and handed it to him. "What do you mean, `ah'?"

"Well what do you want me to say Danno? By the look on your face I don't need to ask any more so `ah' seemed adequate under the circumstances."

Williams laughed, "You know me too well Steve."

"Well enough aikane. I am glad that things are getting back to normal. We would miss the stories of your conquests."

Danny blushed again, "It's not like that, she's…I don't know how to describe her…she's just kind and sympathetic,"

An eyebrow rose, "You're not falling for her are you?"

"No." Now he thought about it he realized he wasn't, she had given him a part of himself back and he was amazed and delighted by that but anything more would interfere with his life at Five-0 and that was not an option. "No, I'm not falling for her Steve, but she is pretty special."

"Anyone who helps you to come to terms with what has happened IS special in my book Danno. I am pleased for you my friend."

"Thanks." Dan's piercing blue eyes became shy and shaded. He was used to being ribbed about his love life by his colleagues but the sincerity in McGarrett's words struck a deeper chord with him: with them both.

And that, apparently, was the end of the topic. His self-appointed older brother changed the subject and whilst the post-coital buzz still remained, Danny fell back into work like a man possessed.

He had been back on the streets for almost a week now, his `sentence' over and whilst it was mostly routine stuff, he hadn't been allowed out on his own; most often accompanied by the tall Irish minder he called his boss who watched over him constantly. At first he reluctantly admitted he felt safer with Steve around but now it was frustrating and although he understood the need for it had been unable to control his temper when an incident occurred that brought them close to a modicum of danger. When it happened it piqued him, as though his manhood was called into question.

After tracking down a suspect, the drunken man pulled a gun on them and instinctively McGarrett had pushed Danno behind him whilst he dealt with the situation. Williams was furious afterwards and told Steve _precisely_ what he thought. He said he knew it wasn't easy for either of them to come to terms with his assaults but if McGarrett insisted on treating him with kid gloves all the time then there was little point in him staying in Five-0 as his Second-in-Command since he would never get the chance to recover his balance and deal with things. Steve listened to the tirade and afterwards apologized, citing his concern for his friend's well-being but admitting he was wrong. From that day forward Danny was on his own whenever the need arose.

He couldn't entirely blame McGarrett for thinking what he thought, when Dan analyzed all that had taken place in the aftermath of his attacks he truly understood how shattered his life had been. He likened it to a vase being thrown from a second floor window: pieces scattered all over the pavement waiting to be collected and stuck back together bit-by-misshapen-bit. The vase would never be whole again, even though the silhouette might be the same. Now two more pieces were back in place: his ability to cruise the streets in the course of his duty and his ability to make love without becoming a nervous wreck.

There were still gaps; no one ever found all the remnants of their past, splinters remained and cracks too. He would always be a patchwork held together by emotional cement but at least he looked whole and that was the most important thing. Appearances being what they were, he was hanging together pretty well.

To look at him almost no one would know what he had been through but McGarrett knew, was reminded of it every time he saw Williams' face, caught his reverie as he got lost in a moment of remembrance or held his body taught with the ghost of pain. Neither could he forget the sight of his friend's broken body the night they found him. Too hard to forget - _impossible_ to forgive. That was partly why letting him return to his duties alone had been difficult. But Dan was right, he had to start relinquishing his hold. Now being as good a time as ever.

"Danno, do you have time to go and check out that break-in on Coconut Avenue? The owners, Mr and Mrs Devlin, are friends of Manicote's and it might be prudent if we paid them a visit to make sure HPD have done all they can before they go running to the D.A."

"Right Steve."

"Sorry my friend, I know you have a pile of paperwork but I'm also going to be out and about, I have those witnesses to question in the Malik case."

"Need my help there first? It's not far from their place."

McGarrett shook his head, he wasn't about to admit it but he wanted Danny to have an easy start to the day, "No, there won't be any problems and I really do need someone to put John's mind at ease about the burglary should he ask."

"Sure. I'll just call to see if it's convenient to go now."

"Mahalo."

*****

The air was just as delightful as it had been early that morning, only hotter. The day was going to be a scorcher, too hot to wear a jacket and Dan was already feeling the perspiration trickle down his back inside his shirt.

The Devlins had been courteous and reasonable, being as helpful as possible under the frustrating circumstances: in addition they offered the young man one of the most refreshing chilled fruit juices he had ever tasted whilst they went through the details of what they had lost. As he drove away from their luxury home, he was struck by the differences between the `haves' and the `have nots' in Honolulu: not that he begrudged hard working people their fine houses and quality cars, but there was a disparity between those like the Devlins, who could sit and shrug off the loss of property because of hefty insurance cover and those who would steal it from them - people like Sam Baxter. He shivered, the air cooling in the car with that thought.

Suddenly feeling the need to be distracted and knowing he had been faster with the Devlins than he thought he might be, he decided to head in Steve's direction and see if his boss had changed his mind about needing help interviewing his witnesses. It was just a case of turning right instead of left and if he wasn't required he would at least get to spend a while longer in the Tropical sunshine.

He turned onto Diamond Head Road and began cruising.

The traffic was fairly light along the coast road and Danny enjoyed the warm breeze whipping in his window and blowing around his face as he drove. The usual assortment of cars and trucks pounded the lanes and he watched them unconsciously, his mode that of a policeman on duty. As he came upon one of the tourist lookouts overlooking the water beyond, the hairs on the back of his head began to rise. An innocuous looking camper van was parked next to a white VW Bug and at an angle next to the small car - almost blocking it, was a beaten up sedan covered in a variety of painted symbols. All four doors were wide open. Tire tracks in the dirt were deep as though the Sedan had braked fast before stopping and there was a commotion going on.

What Danny saw that made him instantly alert and forced him to slow his car down to a crawl, was a pair of female legs kicking underneath the door of the Ford. There were also two casually attired men: one looked to be holding the woman down or trying to force her into the back seat whilst the other held the door open and surveyed the area anxiously.

As Dan pulled into the long sun-scorched parking lot his pulse began to race. He wasn't sure what he was witnessing but alarm bells were ringing in his head louder than in any church on a Sunday. The woman looked as though she was being abducted: fighting the man with everything she had and a ball developed in the pit of his stomach that almost made him sick.

His first thought was to call in the registration of the vehicle in front of him. Hands shaking he picked up the radio, "This is Williams, requesting R.O. identification on blue sedan Aloha license plate three foxtrot-two three six seven," When he heard a muffled scream and yelp of pain, he knew his hunch was correct and added, "request emergency backup to lookout west end of Diamond Head Road; possible 207 in progress. Two male suspects, one female victim."

The dispatcher acknowledged and even though they had disconnected, Dan whispered "_Hurry_!" into the air before checking the waist holster for his gun.

He had a decision to make; one that cost him a great deal of courage in the face of what he had been through. He wasn't sure what was going on but he knew that he had to stop these men from getting away before back up arrived, or who knew what might happen to the victim. He decided to block their exit and take action. If he drove up behind them they couldn't move forward because of the VW and they couldn't go around because of the sheer drop to one side. Their victim was a potential hostage and if they were armed then he had to face the real possibility that either he, or the woman, could get hurt. He couldn't think straight: all his police training wavering with the blow-back of recall. He put himself in the woman's place and knew how she was feeling and that almost overwhelmed him, making clear-thinking hard.

Danny wiped away the beads of perspiration that broke out across his top lip and tried to steady his shaking hands. _**This**_ was the test that he had dreaded. He should wait for back up, the situation was too similar to what had happened to him before: that time he had acted alone when he should have stayed put. It was all bubbling to the surface, the same feelings but fifty times more intense since he now knew the risks. His heart hammered under his ribs and his eyes felt like they were exploding from his head with pressure. The woman cried out again as the one man tried, with difficulty, clambering into the back with her as she clawed at him. The other went around to the driver's side and Danny couldn't wait, he didn't know what they were going to do but he _**couldn't**_ let it happen!

Putting light pressure on the accelerator, he drove forward slowly, hoping that by coming up behind them he could stop them but he already knew what was likely to happen and was genuinely scared he was making the wrong choice. The radio buzzed - it was McGarrett. He didn't stop to wonder why Central had called the Five-0 chief and now Steve was trying to make the decision for him, "Danno what's going on?"

"Looks like an abduction, I can't wait for backup Steve, they'll get away,"

Sensing the nervousness in his friend's voice Steve replied, "Steady Danno, HPD are on their way. You wait and play this by the book, that's an order!"

"I can't, I don't know what they'll do to her."

"Stay _put_, I'm on my way, I'm about five minutes from your location. Do you hear me?"

"Sorry Steve. She's in trouble. I can't leave her."

"Danno! _Danno_!"

Replacing the mic, Williams stepped on the pedal. No time to do anything else, he drove his car straight for the men, braking to a halt just a few feet from their position. From there he got a better look at one of them: a Caucasian, clad in a brightly colored aloha shirt and blue jeans who was perspiring heavily. He looked to be high on something - staggering around on rubber legs as he tried to co-ordinate himself enough to sit in driver's seat. The man heard the squeal of Williams' brakes, turned his head, saw him and laughed before leaning down and saying something inaudible to his partner in the car. The other, similarly attired man whose dark mop of hair framed an equally young face, scrambled backwards, grabbed the girl from the back seat and raised her up, hanging her arms and head over the door like a limp puppet, waist length blond hair cascading over the window in a yellow waterfall.

Danny was out of the car in an instant, gun raised and shielded by the driver's door: even as his radio chirped inside the vehicle. In a steady voice he ordered,"_Police, Five-0 step away from the car and get your hands in the air where I can see them_."

The driver was a man in his twenties with long straggly straw-colored hair and matching beard and he watched the detective with vacant eyes and a big smile on his face, "Hey man that's cool, no sweat! Us and the lady here are just trying to have a little fun."

"Ain't that the truth little lady? Say _yes_ for the nice man." The other guy said and, grabbing a handful of her hair, lifted her up so she could face Williams. She was young, maybe late teens, a pretty thing even with her makeup streaked blue down her face where she had been crying. It looked like she had bitten her lip, there was a trickle of red trailing down the side of her mouth. She was crying but cruelly the man gripped her hair tighter and shoved her head up and down as though she were agreeing with him. "Yes **YES**!" she yelled, then quieter, "_Please help me_?!"

Danny's heart wanted to burst, he could sense how scared she was and knew **precisely** how she felt, "Hands up!" He insisted again.

"No, no no, you don't understand, we're the ones doing the ordering around here, eh Bill?" `Straw-hair' said, addressing the darker-haired guy.

"Sure, cos we have something we could gut the little gal with. Now ain't that funny!?"

Danny saw the knife in Bill's hand a moment too late to do anything. Pulling the girl's head up again, the man laid the sharp edge at her bare throat and she screamed. The wicked-looking weapon glinted in the sun. "Cutey is for us _boy_, not for you. Fair's fair, get your own chick!"

"Now fella, how about you drop _YOUR_ weapon?"

By now cars were slowing down in the road to eyeball the scene taking place but no one stopped to help, simply causing an increasing jam in both directions that Danny hoped his backup could find their way through. _'Steve will get here'_, he thought with conviction and felt comforted his friend was on his way. But help was too far off for him not to comply with their request. If they were on narcotics there was no telling what they would do. He could see the tendons in the girl's neck pulled tight and could imagine the sound if the knife sliced into her unsullied skin. He couldn't let them do it, but neither did he want to relinquish his weapon. With any luck if he could stall them in the open then McGarrett and the others could pen them in. And then what?

"Okay," he said, put one hand up placatingly and reluctantly turned the weapon over, twirling it, barrel down on his index finger in the other. He went to place it on the car roof top, hoping they were so far gone they wouldn't notice the move to keep it within reach. He was wrong.

"Uh-huh, you toss that over here: nice and easy." Bill said and pushed the long knife harder against the girl's neck. She mumbled something between shaking teeth and wept.

Jaw clenching, Danny did as they asked, the gun kicking up a fine powder of earth as it hit the terracotta dirt and spun into some brush underneath the railing.

"Good man. Hey bruddah this is so much fun!" Bill brushed a hand over the teenager's breast, she squirmed beneath his touch and Dan couldn't help himself, he stepped forward, furious at the intimacy of the touch. "Oh no you don't." The man said as he pressed the blade against her neck until a tiny drop of blood appeared and the girl gasped, "Now _you_ move away from the car mister, out into the open where we can see you."

"Let the girl go, more police are on their way, you've nowhere to go!"

"Police? Nah, we don't want no trouble, we got big things planned for the little mama. You should have seen her on the beach, man she was SO _sweet_ and juicy - flaunting herself like that. She's got it coming to her. We're gonna share a wild trip together, just the three of us!"

Danny was left in no doubt as to what `_it'_ was and he wanted to rush them there and then, smash them to a pile of bloody meat with his fists and trample them into the dirt. There was no justice in the world when drug dealers created monsters out of kids. From the way they were talking he wasn't even sure they knew he was cop; they were too far gone to see sense.

"Such a high!" Bill's bedraggled partner snorted and spun his hands in the air like he was dancing. "Now you move man, hands up like they do in them movies."

Slowly, Danny stepped away from the protection of the car, watching Bill and his victim the whole time. Williams never saw the blond guy reach for the weapon in his belt but felt the result as something was launched at him. The curved skinning knife sailed through the air, the force of the throw enough to find its mark. Danny was knocked by the impact - three or four inches embedding itself to the hilt in his upper arm near the shoulder blade. He cried out, felt like something had punched him in the chest and fell to his knees, clutching the wound. His left arm began bleeding profusely.

Bill tried to shove the girl in the car again; she screamed out and pressed her arms against the frame as hard as she could, elbows locking in an attempt to stave off the inevitable, "Don't let them take me! PLEASE HELP ME!" The young woman begged, her brown eyes pleading with Danny even as he knelt in the dirt - wounded.

The junkie who had stabbed Williams assessed their chances, "Oh shit we're stuck man, his lousy car's in the way and no way we're gonna get out on that road even if we took his!" he said, pointing to the building traffic, "We're gonna have to leg it. How 'bout up there?" He said, pointing to the other side of the road and the imposing Diamond Head crater.

"Good a place as any, knucklehead, you shouldn't have done the guy - now we have to move instead of partying here! Hey pretty, let's go." Bill let go of her hair and pulled the crying girl's arm instead, bruising her flesh as he and his partner took an arm apiece and began dragging her, toes scuffing in the soil, across the parking lot to the road.

"Let me go, I beg you. My parents will give you anything you want! _Anything_!" She offered desperately as she wriggled between them.

"Shut up girlie,"

Danny couldn't see what they did next but heard the slap even from where he lay, trying to control the agony in his chest. His heart was aching, time stood still and he was back where he had started all this, he _WAS_ the woman - only this time someone was there to help, _HE_ should have helped. He couldn't understand why everyone else stood by and did nothing, he could see a few people getting out of their cars and back into them again, fearing involvement. Well, he surmised, that was what he was there for, it was his role to protect the innocent, and a lousy job he had done of it so far. From Hell he could hear the Kaika brothers laughing.

The pain began throbbing through him. He needed to get his gun and go after them. He heard sirens in the distance coming from two directions and just prayed they could get through the piled up cars and their increasingly angry drivers.

Gritting his teeth against the fluid fire spreading across his chest, he rose with difficulty to his feet, swaying slightly as he checked the progress of the group weaving their way between slowly moving vehicles, horns honking as they did so.

He looked around for his weapon and to his relief saw it lying a few feet away, precariously close to the edge. Clutching his bleeding arm, knife still deeply embedded, he bent to pick up the gun and nearly fell over, head spinning from the movement. Drops of blood fell like crimson rain but, nauseous or not, he tried to ignore everything but the need to track the men and the girl.

Staggering back to the car he asked for a patch to McGarrett. Tense seconds passed before he heard the familiar and oh-so-welcome voice. "Steve, how far away are you?" He asked, trying to keep the pain out of his inquiry.

McGarrett spoke above the muffled sound of the siren, "Not far, but it's slow going. Danno, what happened?"

"A couple of… addicts have taken a young woman, they're heading up Diamond Head, they…arrgh!" He paused as a surge of agony swept through him and he couldn't help but vocalize his pain.

The concern in the voice on the radio was unmistakable, "Danno? Danno…are you hurt?"

"I'm…I'm okay, just a flesh wound." He lied as he stared at the blade plugging his torn skin and ripped shirt, "They are armed with at least one knife."

"I'll reach your position in minutes, just wait until I get there."

"No Steve, I'm fine, I'm following on foot, the vegetation is too dense up there you may never find them and they mustn't get away."

McGarrett sighed deeply, knowing full well Williams would do as he wanted, not as he was told, "Very well but no heroics, understand? Just watch their progress and be careful Danno."

"Right."

******

The sun's rays were beating down on the slopes of Diamond Head creating a mirage effect in the air, crickets were chirping in the heat and all around the fumes of fuel rose up from the road to meet his nostrils. Perspiration blurred Williams' eyesight as he struggled up the steep incline, always keeping the sound of the trio ahead of him. It was hard going with one useless arm and the other trying to support it, every movement brought tears to his eyes, mingling with the sweat and making it almost impossible for him to see. He relied on the sound of twigs breaking, men's laughter and cries of terror from the girl as he struggled onward.

He hoped Steve would get there soon, he had no game plan and wasn't sure what he would do if he came across them. He didn't like to consider how he would react if they assaulted the girl. Closing his eyes and squinting against the light, he prayed fervently that didn't happen. He was already pushed to the limit with the anguish and pain, each step harder than the last and couldn't vouch for his reactions. Since coming out of hospital he had trained his body well but his mind was still marginally undisciplined; there were still horrors lurking behind his eyes.

'_If I could reason with them_,' But even as the thought passed he knew that was impossible. He had seen people like these young men before: hooked on goodness-knew-what kind of chemicals, unable to think rationally, just going on instinct. They were victims just as much as the girl was and Danny wanted to stop them before it went too far. He knew how damaged the woman would be – from first-hand experience.

As he stopped to breathe, he made the mistake of looking over the side to see how far he had come and almost fell, they were fairly high up, on a good day the view spectacular, and below cars loomed in and out of his eye line like shifting colored matchboxes on a silver ribbon. One thing he knew though, without question – McGarrett had arrived; the vehicles were moving rapidly now – there were flashing lights amid the clutter and someone was in control. He felt it and was comforted by that more than the gun swinging in the holster at his waist – now if Steve would just hurry up.

*****

Steve McGarrett looked up at the uneven face of the volcanic ash cone, dense scrub and scrawny trees covered the surface making it hard to see anything beyond a mass of green and brown. He donned his sunglasses, hoping to disrupt the glare on the baked and crystallized rock and went to retrieve a pair of binoculars from his car.

Somewhere, not very high up, was Danny Williams, and along with him two men who had already wounded the detective and a woman who needed help. Steve had seen the blood next to Danny's car and knew his protégé had lied about the extend of his injury. He just hoped that he wasn't lying up there somewhere bleeding to death - not after all they had been through!

Whatever the suspects had done had been enough to push past his friend's natural self-preservation instincts and cause him to take more risks with his life. He didn't know how Williams kept going but he applauded him for his strength and determination whilst cursing those very same traits.

He ordered more men to the scene to stop traffic and an ambulance on stand by. Then, using the binoculars, began to scope the hill around the kidnapper's last known position for any sign of the men. It turned out that the owner of the camper van parked next to the VW had seen everything from the inside of the vehicle but had been too scared to help; only surfacing when he heard sirens. McGarrett managed, through a jaw clenched so tightly he thought it would fracture, to ask the man what had happened and got a jigsaw-style staccato report fired at him from the clearly nervous witness, following which he was no clearer about what had taken place but at least he knew the general direction the men headed in – and behind them - Danno.

Heedless of anything but the need to help his friend he, the newly arrived Chin and Kono and two officers, headed up the same path that Danny had taken: armed and eager to find their friend and the woman he was trying to protect. Inside Steve was a wreck, outside he was the picture of calm, rigid, composure.

******

Ahead on the slopes and moving ever eastwards, the party of three were each in their own way getting worn out. The girl kept stumbling, pushed from behind or the side by Bill or his partner, who appeared determined to find a suitable stop to rest – and play. The terrain was hard on the teenager, clad in shorts and a shirt tied at the waist her soft legs were getting scratched by rocks and brush each time she stumbled. Her shoes had split; one sole flopping back and forth as she moved and she was crying continually.

"_Please please let me go_!" she pleaded over and over to deaf ears, all she got in return was a lascivious look or touch and a comment between her two kidnappers: both on psychedelic journeys of their own.

"Why spoil the trip, lady? You're gonna enjoy what we have in mind, we might even share some of the good stuff with you."

"Just keep moving." Bill urged and paused to survey the area. He soon spotted an rocky outcropping: a fairly smooth platform out of the sun, shaded by trees with dense leaves that broke the sunshine into cool, spotted shadows. "Okay Larry, how about over there? That looks a fine place for a party, eh!" He never thought that he was being followed - neither of them did. As far as they were concerned they were free as the birds in the heavenly blue skies above them, clouds floating on the wind with one thing in mind; pleasure with a capital `P' and a high with a capital `Coke'.

When they reached the rock, they stopped.

Behind them Danny was struggling to focus, blood soaked his pale yellow shirt sleeve but the pain was easing now. He determinedly placed one foot in front of the other, head boiling from the cooking rays bearing down on the back of his neck, shirt sticking to his body as he scrabbled up the steep incline. He saw the figures stop, one looked in his direction: whether by chance or design he wasn't sure and he dropped to the ground, knees smarting as they connected heavily with the burning stone beneath him. He almost cried out as the blade moved, setting his nerve endings alight, he bit the inside of his mouth until it bled and clutched at his arm but never did he consider stopping; he was too close.

Hoping he wasn't seen, he crawled one-handed toward a boulder, the small elevated shape giving a modicum of cover whilst he watched as the men emptied their pockets. The one called Larry held the girl fast as Bill pulled small packets of white powder, squares of shining foil and other things Danny couldn't identify from his friend's pants and laid them out haphazardly on the rock face together with his own assortment of goods. He was chuckling with laughter as he did so and once or twice almost lost his footing on the slope which only increased their combined amusement.

At that moment Danny saw the knife drop from the dark haired man's hand and _knew_ he had to take his chance.

*****

Not far behind, Steve McGarrett caught sight of his Second-in-Command far up on a ridge. Pocketing his sunglasses he peered through the binoculars and saw his detective crouched low in the brush and a patch of blood livid against his work shirt, Danny looked to be in pain but his eyes never waivered from the trio a short distance away from him. Although it worried him deeply, the Five-0 chief's first concern, however reluctantly, was for the girl he could see being pushed down onto a stone platform. She was struggling against the men holding her, who just laughed and slapped her across the face until she became quiet.

When he saw hands at the girl's waist, tugging at her shorts, Steve knew what Dan would be thinking, he could almost feel the tension coming off his friend like a downhill avalanche, the distance irrelevant when it came to knowing his man. Danny had made it up the side of that mountain for one purpose only: to rescue someone that could have been _him_. McGarrett knew it but didn't fault him for it, he knew that he was a damned fine officer and would have helped her regardless of his own experience. Williams would play things by the book for the girl's sake only and that was the problem. In Steve's experience Danno was prone to being hot-headed and not consider the risks he was taking, he just hoped that he valued his life more than he suspected he did since the assaults. Perhaps the nurse he had been seeing had helped him in that regard. He sincerely hoped so.

Steve kept moving, careful to direct Chin and Kono around the scene so none of them were seen. He wanted to rush them but they were still armed and the girl vulnerable. Kono was perspiring badly in the harsh terrain and McGarrett felt like he ought to tell the big guy to have a break, but he couldn't. The other HPD officers were further off and he and his men were the closest - with the exception of Danny Williams.

Steve tugged at his tie to loosen the knot and opened a couple of buttons to help him breathe, his heart was pounding and whilst he was fast he wasn't as fast as the young men he was chasing. He hoped they would stay put and Danno along with them.

Taking a well-earned breather, he scouted for Danny's position again, holding a hand up to shade his eyes, and was immediately concerned, Williams was heading towards the men! Chin had seen him too and looked to McGarrett for instructions. "KEEP MOVING!" He shouted out to the Chinese officer, it was too late to worry whether the kidnappers heard him or not. Williams needed help and they needed to move swiftly.

*****

Danny couldn't believe his eyes, there in the open they were going to assault the girl! Thinking of the side-effects of cocaine he was sure now they were high as kites and the packets now pressed underneath the girl's stomach were most likely more bags of the stuff.

Whilst they were distracted and unarmed he had the chance to stop them. Reaching for the gun with fingers slippery with his own blood, he groaned with pain and darted as fast as possible from his hiding place, weary feet almost colliding with one another as he tried to focus on his prey.

The girl screamed as Larry pulled down her shorts, pressing himself against her body as he ineffectually tried getting into her underwear. Bill was watching, tongue practically hanging out as he waited for action and toyed with a small packet of condoms that he tried opening with his teeth to no avail. Action he got however, but not the kind he imagined. Once again the cry of `_Police'_ was heard along with the same orders Williams gave before, and yet again the young men appeared confused. The girl was sobbing uncontrollably and Larry just stayed where he was, apparently comfortable on top of his human cushion, crushing her ribs on the rock. The dark-haired man was another matter and as soon as he saw Dan he lunged desperately for the knife, only to find it kicked away from him.

"Hands up or I _will_ shoot." Danny said with venom.

"Aw no, not you again man, I thought we'd dealt with you? Why can't you leave us alone, we need privacy for this gig, comprende?" Bill complained.

Danny swallowed hard, fog etching at his eyeballs, he was standing up by adrenalin alone now, but it was enough, "Comprende this – _moron_ - leave the girl and put your hands on your head. I'm a police officer." He cocked back the hammer on his police special, dangerously tempted to just blow them away and end both his and the girl's suffering.

The sound of the weapon being readied echoed briefly between the rocks.

Now Bill looked nervous, moving away from the girl and leaving his prone friend still unsure what to do. The two men exchange glances then he shrugged, "Sure man, I get you. She's all yours! Hey we'll leave, it's cool."

"You'll leave but you'll be doing it in a blue and white, now _**move**_!"

Bill stepped toward Danny and the detective raised the gun a little higher: his hand shaking as he did so and drops of perspiration bounced off the bridge of his nose, "Stay back!" he ordered. Even though the two younger men looked as hot and tired as he did, he was still the worse for wear and he knew it, the heat combined with blood-loss taking its toll; he was on the verge of passing out.

"Hey you're b..bleeding." Larry said above the weeping girl and sounded genuinely surprised.

Dan swayed momentarily, unable to keep his balance correctly as he watched Diamond Head tilt and fall back in place almost as though the acknowledgment of his injury by someone other than himself made it more real.

Bill took advantage of the moment and tried reaching for the gun. Just then a shot boomed out and the kid dropped to the ground, the thud his body made covered up by a yell erupting from his mouth as ruby liquid began seeping from a hole in his jeans leg. "Oh sweet Jesus! OH GOD THAT HURTS!!"

Larry was terrified now, unsure where the bullet came from. He slid off the woman's body, fell onto his ass and tried to scramble backwards as fast as he could, looking left and right for a gunman, shoes pushing at the ground like a crab.

Danny too was looking and saw the second best thing he had seen all day. Steve McGarrett had made it up the hill, gun in hand; he had shot Bill and was frowning but Danny couldn't see it for blurry eyes. His relief was palpable and Steve could feel that as strongly as he could any emotion from his friend now.

Steve, Chin Ho and Kono converged on their position like troops in a western movie and Larry was swiftly subdued and cuffed by a angry Chin. Bill wasn't going anywhere for a moment and Danny gave his boss a quick `I'm okay' nod before re-holstering his weapon and struggling over to the girl.

He knelt down with difficulty and brushed his fingers across her long blond hair, uncovering her tear-streaked face. "It's okay, you're safe now." He offered quietly and with the same hand gently lifted her shorts up over her underwear to give her more dignity. She turned and grabbed hold of his neck, wrapping an arm around him and crying even more, "Thank you! Thank you!" she half-sobbed, half-said - not realizing she was pressing against the handle of the knife and pushing it further into his brutalized flesh.

Danny gasped, "Please, please let me go, you're safe now, let me go…." He almost fell backwards but Steve was there, carefully moving the grateful - and now rescued - girl from his wounded detective as Kono took charge of her before helping his friend. He slid his hands around Dan's waist and leaned him back against the rock, cursing under his breath as he saw the black handle embedded between shoulder and arm.

" Nice work Danno." He said, trying not to show his alarm over the wound as he crouched down in front of the detective and hastily pulled out a handkerchief to press against the weeping injury.

"You're the one who shot him," the younger man said, gritting his teeth against the agony thundering through him. "Is he badly hurt?"

Steve raised an eyebrow, Williams never ceased to surprise him. He glanced across to where the two HPD officers had the men in custody and were administering first aid. It looked to be a flesh wound but the kid was yelping his head off and asking for drugs, McGarrett turned back to his friend, "He'll live - as will you my friend."

Danny closed his eyes, "They're just junkie kids Steve, I don't think they truly knew what they were doing."

"Save your breath for someone who's worth it Danno. We've still got to get you down from here."

"I'll be fine." Williams stated with bravado and gripped McGarrett's arm tightly as a fresh wave of pain hit him.

The Irish man patted a dusty thigh and replied, "Sure you will aikane. You always are."

Danny looked with half-opened eyes to where the teenager was being made to laugh by Kono, "Funny, I don't even know her name."

"Well, I've seen her at one of Manicote's parties, I'd recognize her with or without the Halloween look. You saw her parents this morning Danno – that's Anita Devlin."

His eyes opened wide, "You're kidding me?"

McGarrett took off his jacket and bundled it up against Danny's head, trying to make him a fraction more comfortable against the rock as they waited for medical assistance, "I never kid a wounded man."

"How's that for serendipity?"

"Happy chance indeed my friend. Somehow I don't think they'll be complaining about losing the family jewels now."

The color in Danny's face drained away completely and he suddenly became serious. Pressing a hand against his handkerchief he sat up a little straighter, even though it cost him to do so. Tears appeared at the corner of his eyes, "You know what they were going to do to her don't you, Steve?"

McGarrett nodded sadly and put a hand on his good shoulder, "I do and you were there to save her Danno. She's safe now."

Williams sighed: a heavy, drawn out sigh that seemed to release some kind of burden deep within him. "I'm glad." He said and almost as though he was waiting for Steve to say those words, his eyes fluttered closed and his head fell onto McGarrett's open palm.

"I'm glad too little brother." Steve gently eased the curly-head down onto the ground and moved the crushed jacket underneath it. "Rest now, you've earned it."

*****

EPILOGUE

Danny Williams suffered few after effects from his brush with the skinning knife, his arm would heal even though he would have yet another scar to add to his many. Doc Bergman considered setting up a room in Danny's honor at the hospital for `most frequent patient' which gave them all something to laugh about. Blood loss had been considerable as well as minor muscle damage but a few more days in his second home combined with a transfusion a vampire would kill for and he would be well on the way to mending.

Mentally he was also healing although he would never be the same again. The wounds of the mind were deep trenches covered over with the doors he had put in place but in time even those would rust over: the bolts ceasing to permit entry as time moved inexorably onward.

*****

Danny Williams walked through the Five-0 office, arm held carefully in a sling, a pocket full of painkillers bouncing against his hip. He had discharged himself sooner than Bergman would have liked but the middle-aged physician understood how his patient must feel – too many days and nights spent at Queen's would drive anyone to walk out.

Steve was lurking around somewhere, either in his office or perhaps in a meeting, Danny wasn't sure but he was glad that his first day back – _again_ – was a quiet affair.

His first thought was coffee, his palate re-accustomed now to the strong concoction his colleagues passed off as a beverage. The plate was hot and it occurred to him that either Jenny or Steve had put it on earlier. He was grateful, but curious as to where everyone was at that hour.

As he passed a map of Honolulu, trapped behind dusty glass, he caught a glimpse of himself and was surprised at how deep the dark circles under his eyes were once more. He couldn't wait to get back out into the sunshine again but knew that McGarrett would have something to say if he began surfing too soon. His mother hen attitude had increased exponentially since his adventure on Diamond Head.

He shook his head and smiled.

Steve McGarrett.

Now _there_ was a name to be reckoned with: a man so dedicated to his work that to the outside world it appeared no one could break through the tough surface to get to the person beneath, but Dan knew better. McGarrett had been his staunchest ally and closest friend for years and the past months had proven him closer still. No one could ask for a truer companion to walk through life with. It humbled him and warmed him to think that the man he had admired for so long called him brother. Throughout the nightmare of his violation he had seen the mettle of the man and he was in awe of him.

Still smiling, Danny turned to his cubicle, ready to begin the pile of work he knew would have accumulated but he stopped dead in his tracks when he saw what could only be described as the whole of Lili'uokalani Botannical Gardens sitting on his desk. Purples, oranges, reds, yellows and white blooms vied for position amongst shiny green leaves. The bouquet was enormous and the fragrance simply overwhelming. Sitting right next to it was a plate of jelly donuts - all his favorite kinds.

Jaw open in surprise, he risked a closer look and spied a small handwritten envelope tucked behind a Bird of Paradise stem. Placing his coffee on the desk next to the sweet confectionery, he opened it with some difficulty and slipped out the note that it contained. It read:

'_Dear Mr Williams, _

_A small token of our thanks for all you have done for our precious Anita. _

_We will never forget your perseverance and bravery. Thank you._

_With sincere regards,_

_Tom and Wendy Devlin. _

He raised the tiny card to his mouth, flicking it against his lips and glanced out of the window, sending a silent _`thank you'_ to the girl's parents and at the same time wondering how she was coping after her ordeal. He would never forget her either. Nor any other woman, or man subjected, or nearly subjected, to abuse. He would always think of the day he became a victim and it made him more determined than ever to fight for justice and all those who suffered.

Pulling himself out of his internalizing, he went to sit down and got even more surprises. Sitting plumb in the middle of his seat was _G.I. Joe_, the very _Joe_ that he was sure he had left somewhere in his living room. The action figure had been bent into a sitting position and was perched on top of an official-looking envelope.

He didn't bother to ask himself who had put it there, he knew very well who had. There was a tag hanging around _Joe's_ neck; another message for Alice to find in her trip to Wonderland, no doubt. He lifted up the figure and, balancing the toy against his sling, turned the tag over. This one, in Steve's handwriting, read 'This seat is reserved for our own American hero. Danno - dinner is on me S.'

Danny's smiled broadened. It felt like Christmas morning. One last gift remained, or he assumed as much. This one was harder to open and he ended up with an elbow on one end of the envelope on a desk corner whilst he slipped a finger into the opening to rip the paper. Once he had retrieved it he sat down and read the contents, not once – but twice. It was a letter of commendation from the Governor's office. The icing on the cake.

Danny Williams looked up, for the first time in a long time the moisture in his eyes was for joy and he jumped as he caught sight of the many smiling faces looking at him from the door and beyond. He hadn't noticed his close friends silently creeping up on him. Everyone was there that he cared about - those who were moved by his violation. These were the people he worked and socialized with and these were the people he kept coming back for – through assault, amnesia, near drowning, bullets and knives – his people – _**his family **_and he loved them deeply_**.**_

"Welcome home again, brave _kaikaina_." Steve said with affectionate sincerity and an impromptu round of applause near-lifted the roof off the Palace.

Blue eyes sparkled in the light and Danny blushed: unable to express the depth of his gratitude, nor relief at being alive.

With McGarrett at his side, special people to care for and jelly donuts to eat - what more could one ask for?

Sometimes life was very good indeed.

*****

PAU

(THE END – or perhaps more correctly – THEIR BEGINNING)

A/N. I would like to thank you all very much for staying with me on this mammoth fic. I do hope you enjoyed it even though the subject matter was tough. A special thank you to those of you who took time to review – it means a lot to me. _Mahalo_ and hope we can do this again some time. Mitzy).


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